Hey guys! This story is dedicated to xoFrap who gave me this idea. It's going to be a lemony-filled two shot, well, the second chapter mostly but the first chapter slightly. Please enjoy this two-shot "Take Me As I Am"...
Twitter: TheCliffyG
No Beta Reader, so ignore mistakes if any :)
Summary: Eli Goldsworthy, the husband of Clare Goldsworthy realizes that he's got a bad case of...the softy. Two-Shot/Eclare
Rated M: Sexual themes/talk/actions
Take Me As I Am
ELI
"Maybe you should go to the doctor Eli. There's no harm in getting a second opinion. It's common in men to-," I cut her off, looking in the mirror, "I'm not going to the doctor to have some pedophile feel my ball sack up."
"Eli," she smiled, rubbing my shoulders, calming me down, "There's a reason as to why this is happening...but you need to go, to talk to your doctor. Please, for the sake of our sex life."
"We have three kids, we have sex whenever we get the chance, and I'm happy with that," I rubbed her bicep, taking a seat on our bed, "I know you are Eli, but you've been taking a while...to you know...get it up."
I sighed, "I don't want to hear him tell me it's something because of the bipolar thing, because I've been doing well, right? You'd tell me if I was acting strange, right?"
My wife kissed my neck, as I leaned on her, my head between her chest while she rubbed my arms soothingly. She kissed my neck, placing soft butterfly kisses between my shoulder blade and jaw.
"Relax Eli, your sexual performance has nothing to do with your biploar disorder or anxiety," I sighed, stroking my fingers over her bare thighs, "I'm just restless and squirmy when it comes to going to the doctor."
"Do you want me to go with you tomorrow? I can have Adam watch the kids and-," I immediately cut her innocent attempt to keep this situation less awkward, "It's no need. I'll go, but I don't want you beside me while they check me out.I especially don't want you there if I have to talk about our sex life. It's embarrasing enough that I have to go."
"Well, if you change your mind-."
"I won't."
I sat in Morty, playing with my fingers in my lap as I stared at the doctors office in front of me. My appointment was five minutes ago, but just the scenary from the outside had me on edge. I swallowed the lump in my throat, glancing down at the space between my thighs.
"Stupid slow cock," I groaned, slamming my head against the steering wheel.
In the process of stalling, I heard my cellphone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out, and glanced down at a text message from Clare:
I know you're sitting in Morty playing with your fingers right now Eli, so please go inside. You'll feel much better after you talk to him, please. And I promise if you talk to him, and get his opinion, then we'll have a nice, long, steamy night ahead of us. We're not going to give up, we'll keep trying until you're looking up )
-Love Clare
She knew me too well.
My hand pushed open the side door with a lazy push, while my feet dragged to the office. I huffed out, before pushing the door open. Of course, no one was in there besides a smiling secratary.
"Hi, you must be Mr. Goldsworthy, you're five minutes late. But you're lucky, the doctor is ready for you in his office to talk first."
"Thanks."
That's the only word I could muster up at the moment as my sweaty hand drenched the knob with persperation. I pushed it open, and walked into the office, to see Dr. Finklehoff, looking down at a file. I cleared my throat, and a smile spread across his face, "Oh Mr. Goldsworthy, welcome. Please, have a seat."
He smiled kindly, shaking my hand before I took a seat. He put all his attention on me, glaring into my eyes, "So, how've you been?"
"Down."
I chuckled a bit at the irony of my situation, but the doctor did not budge, not a noise to be heard.
"And why is that?"
Dr. Finklehoff placed his glasses on the table, and when I didn't respond quick enough for his liking, he reassured, "Elijah, I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help you. You know why you're here, but I need to know why this is happening."
"I don't know," I admitted honestly, "My wife and I practice...making love almost every chance we get. But lately, it either takes too long to get it up or by the time I do she's lost the feeling and just wants to go to sleep. It's been a lose-lose game for me lately."
"Do you have anything on your mind when you're having intercourse? Like, perhaps fear of your kids barging in the door? Or, bills? Anything in general?" My eyebrows tightened to his words, as I let out a sigh, "I don't know. I always have something on my mind-it's natural. I can't just think about her or what we're doing when we have sex."
"And why is that Mr. Goldsworthy?" I swallowed the painful lump in my throat, "Honestly, I don't know. When we were younger, before we had kids, when we made love all I could think about was Clare. But now that we have three kids, I'm battling with two jobs to keep everyone happy, and then on top of that keeping my wife sexually pleased isn't on my mind a lot."
"Do you want me to tell you my opinion?" he leaned forward in his chair, and I nodded, "You've probably got erectile dysfunction. It's a common thing for men at your age. See, this problem is caused by not enough blood flow to the penis. But in your case, I'd say your problem is more or less psychological."
Of course my penis problem is connected to my fucked up head; of course.
"How so?"
"Well, you're trying to support your family, which must cause you stress, right?"
"I mean, I guess so, I really don't-," he cut me off, while flipping through my file, "Mr. Goldsworthy tell me exactly what happens between you and your wife when this occurs."
And here comes the embarrasing part.
But I had to tell him, for Clare's sake.
"Well, I mean, she's always ready to pounce on me...but sometimes, I just feel so worn out that I don't have the energy. Or other times, I'll...you know, try to do the deed, and the second I get inside her I go soft. But I want to be hard, in my mind I'm hard," my cheeks burned with a crimson color, as the doctor nodded, jotting things down.
"During sex, how hard is it for you to keep your penis erect?" Dr. Finklehoff asked in a serious tone, "It's hard...it's stressfull and a lot of the time, I have to force it, or pretend I'm hard. But by now Clare's noticed and can feel that I'm physically not into it. I hear her cry sometimes at night because I think she thinks I'm not sexually attracted to her anymore, when all I do is think about her."
"Do you not have a sexual desire towards her?" I nodded, "Of course I do, she's my wife for christ's sake. We've been together since high school and ever since I met her I knew she was the one. I love her, and I want to show her, that's why I'm here for you help."
"Have you been ill tempered with your wife lately?" he asked, curiosity in his eyes.
"A bit. But, it's only because I'm trying to please everyone in my life. I don't want to be a disappointment to my family."
"I think that's all I need to know Mr. Goldsworthy. You're a good man, but you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. This pressure is building up inside of you, the stress and anxiety is causing your sexual tensions and desires to come to a halt. Now, I'm going to tell you exactly what to do to cure this without medication, because I don't want to put a thirty five year old on medication for this when I know you can do it naturally."
I agreed with him, bobbing my head in assurance, to let him know I was up for this challenge, whatever challenge it may be.
"When you go home, I want you to put the little ones to bed, make sure they're fast asleep-or even bring them over to a friends house, that's even better. Then, I want you to put your most comfortable clothing on, and lounge, watch some television, eat a bagel, do what you like to do that keeps you calm."
I chuckled slightly, as he continued with his monumental speech, "Then I want you to heat things up with Clare, but only when you're completely relaxed. I'm talking-no tense muscles, nothing on your mind but Clare relaxed. You got that?"
"Yes sir."
"Good. Now if you have any problems with relaxing, I reccomend starting off with some rubbing around tense areas," I bobbed my head like a child who just stole a cookie from the jar before dinner and was listening to my mother yell at me.
"Thank you doctor, I'll tell my wife when I get home."
A smile spread across my face, feeling like a ton of bricks were lifted off my chest. It was good to get that out, because I've been holding it in for who knows how long. What made me feel even better, was the fact that I can fix this, and I can turn my sex life with my wife around again.
And I'm determined to do this...tonight.
CLARE
"Goodnight room, goodnight moon, good night cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight light, and the red balloon, goodnight bears, goodnight chairs, goodnight kittens, and goodnight mittens. Goodnight clocks, and goodnight socks, goodnight little house, and goodnight mouse. Goodnight comb, and goodnight brush, goodnight nobody, goodnight mush, nd goodnight to the old lady, whispering "hush". Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere," by the time I finished the bedtime story, my three angels were fast asleep.
I smiled, kissing each one on the forehead before exiting the room. I gasped lowly, the vibration coming from my pocket going off startling me.
That appointment was the best thing I've ever sat through. I got his opinion, and I'm read to act on it. Please, light up some candles and pull out some strawberries and chocolate.
Getting ready for the best night of your sexual life.
-Love Elijah ;)
END OF CHAPTER 1
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Chapter 2 will be posted as soon as humanly possible...if I get at least fifteen reviews!
Love you guys,
Cliffhanger Girl
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