During the entire drive to meet up with Dean John replayed his dream over and over in his mind.
It was everything he had ever wanted, always dreamed of. The four of them together, having a normal dinner, and just talking. He held Marys hand and they smiled at one another, fingers entwined. Sam and Dean were sitting across from them, laughing as they all talked. Mary had served her dinner casserole and everything was perfect.
It was everything he had ever wanted. It was everything he needed. His family's happiness and just having a single normal night where nothing was wrong and…
He had to park at the side of the road for a moment, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as he willed not to start crying once more. He had woken up with tears in his eyes and not for the first time either.
There was...something different about this dream however. Something about it...it seemed more real. Less like a dream and more like it had happened. He swore that he could remember Marys hand in his, his hand came up at that and he pressed his lips to it for a moment. He could almost taste the casserole and the wine they had eaten and drunk.
He could hear their voices in his ears, Deans and Sams were so much more deeper than they were now. Marys voice was just as beautiful and soft, just like he remembered.
It had only been two years since he had seen Sam, other than the small snippets of glances he had allowed himself when he would drive past Stanford. He'd never admit it but he did check on his son, he couldn't just abandon him despite their fight. He needed to know that Sam was alright and it was the best way to do so.
And if he also put some care packages into the mail for Sam without signing it that was his secret to keep.
In his weaker moments, he did try to think of his boys more grown up. He did try to think how they would look like and what they would sound like and it was just…
John closed his eyes and wiped his hand over them, wiping the tears away. His heart was twisting in his chest as he desperately clung to every last detail of his dream. He didn't want to forget a single moment of it.
He remembered the boys, the boys from the dream, talking to him. They were still hunting and they had done and gone through so much. He had died facing and defeating Azazel and afterwards his boys still suffered.
They told him about the colt and how they managed to use it to kill Azazel. They told him about Sam being in Stanford and how his girlfriend had been killed from the demons leading him back into the life.
He hated that Sam had been taken back into the life but at the same time a part of him was relieved, he knew that Sam and Dean would always look after one another and this was the best way to make sure of it. They would always make sure that the other was alright and therefore he knew they were always taken care of.
He kept repeating that to himself, he needed to repeat it over and over. He hated it but at the same time he knew his sons were only going to be happy with one another.
Sighing heavily he started the car once more and got back onto the road, aiming to get meet up with Dean.
He remembered talking to dream Sam and dream Dean, remembered what they said and what had happened in their lives.
John knew that it was just a dream, a pleasant dream that he wished was real with all his might but…
He supposed there was no harm in listening to his dream.
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