AKA, Shakespeare turns ghetto. Feel free to show this to your English class, kiddies, but I don't think your teachers will appreciate what they're about to see ;)

Warnings for excessive swearing.

Act 2, Scene 1 based on lines 125-142

._.

"Oh bitch hell no," Titania snapped, tossing her hair back with an arrogant flip of her head. "I ain't givin' you shit, boy."

Oberon blinked in surprise, the Shakespearean verse shattered by the abrupt change in the fairy Queen's behavior, the very same queen whose posse backed her up, her arms crossed by her side and posse sending him nasty looks that clearly told him to back off.

"E-excuse me?" he managed to speak through his befuddlement. He stuttered in his speech, which was uncharacteristic for a king such as himself. "What did you just say to me?"

However, it wasn't as uncharacteristic as Titania's following rant.

Or... as shocking.

"Calm the fuck down, 'Beron," she whipped her hair back once again, giving him nothing but condescension. "I know what you's up to, an' you's ain't takin' that kid from me." Titania held out her hand expectantly to her posse, and the fairies scrambled to give her a cigarette and lighter. She lit her cigarette and took a long drag, blowing the smoke into Oberon's face. "His mumma was one of my bitches, you hear? That gurl used to talk to me and worship me like a god. An' when gurl got preggers, her belly was bigger than a boat's sail in a typhoon, and I mean damn she got big."

Titania took another drag and Oberon had to turn away to not breath in the smoke, which he waved away with his hand. She continued with her reminiscence. "Poor gurl kicked the bucket though, but I will not hand over dis boy over like he's a goddamn salt shaker at the dinner table."

Puck, who had remained silent for the majority of this encounter, whistled and said "Daaamn."

"Just cuz' you's da king, that don't mean I have to do jack shit for you. Now why don't you prance your fairy fairy ass the fuck outta here, because this is my territory," Titania finished her rant with several snaps in a Z-formation. In the background, Puck could be heard saying "oh snap!"

Oberon had nothing to say about any of this nonsense.

He didn't even want to participate in this insanity any longer. He merely turned his back to these people, and never returned, abdicating from his throne to go live in the forest or something else instead.

But who cared about that?

No one did, that's who.

Titania narrowed her eyes after the retreating figure of the former king of fairies. And when he was gone, she spit on the ground where he once stood. Or floated. Whatever the fuck fairies are supposed to do; it's a goddamn figure of speech, why are you questioning this?

"Yeah, leave," she flippantly dismissed the former king, and spit on the ground again for good measure and spite.

Mostly out of spite, though.

._The End_.

Review if you want, and make sure you show your teachers ;3

(hehe, suckers)