Hey guys!
Happy New Years to everybody out there and let the coming year be filled be fun and joy and hopefully lots of B&B goodness to come. This fic is a product of my hatred of Hannah, anger at Booth and sympathy of Brennan. I mean it's not Hannah's fault that she fell into all this mess but I just want her to pack her bags and go. Wishing her all the best but seriously GET OUT. Nyways this is a gr8 fic to read if you're really pissed of at Booth for being an ignorant, unaware, rude jerk. A lovable jerk but still a jerk. This is a fic where all the squints including Booth's and Hannah's lives are in Brennan's grasps if only she can follow the killer's instructions and save them. Lots of action, lots of drama, definitely lots of angst and of course the main ingredient lots and lots of B&B goodness. So buckle your seatbelts and get ready to start 2011 of with a blast!

Disclaimer: First Bones fic but still don't own anything. All characters except the ones u don't recognize for example Mehnaz and Don who are going to be present in a later series that I write are mine and all others belong to the creators of Bones. I also don't own 'Sleeping With A Broken Heart' by Alicia Keys.

ooOooOoo

Brennan put both hands on either side of the sink and looked at her face in the mirror. The head band that was holding back her hair left her without her usual bangs made her face look bigger. She slowly opened the band and let her messy bangs fall on her face. She rubbed her neck that was being kept free of hair by a rubber band.

She had decided she had had enough. Seeing Booth with Hannah tonight had completely unnerved her. It had bought the memories of heart break; rejection, lonely nights and hopeless love all come crashing back on her like a large tidal wave.

She had long since given up on fairy tales. From the moment she saw her brother stacking presents under the Christmas tree to the hot afternoon when a social worker had taken her to her first foster home.

But an inkling, just a flicker of the little girl who used to believe in all thing good conquered bad, love conquered hate, that there were monsters under her bed and that one day a prince would come on a white horse and sweep her of her feet still remained in a corner of her heart. That small part had been put out when she saw the blond attached to her knight in shining FBI issued standard body armor.

Moving back Brennan walked to the bathroom door before as the tears blinding her eyes stopped her. 'Stop it' she sternly told her self as she leaned against the door frame.

'You are world renowned anthropologist Dr. Temperance Brennan, best selling author, FBI consul…" at that she stopped speaking to the empty air because she just wasn't Dr. Brennan, cold fish and bare bones. She was also someone's friend, someone's family, someone's partner, someone's Bones. The last part was added against her wish as Brennan put her back against the door frame and slipped down to the floor.

Unconsciously tears started falling out of her tear ducts as she put her hands to her face. Not to wipe away the tears but to cover the moment of weakness that was showing through. She had never wanted a partner or needed one but she got one anyway, it has him. She had never wanted or needed to be cared for but she was anyway by him. She had never wanted or needed to be loved but she was especially by him. She had never especially wanted or needed to fall in love but like every other thing she had never wanted or needed she did, with him. And now just because she had dared to have the want and wish to be cared for, to be loved, to be safe life was punishing her.

Even when she was in Indonesia and he was in Afghanistan training soldiers and 'getting it on with Hannah' she thought bitterly.

Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear inside my head
Tellin' me, touch me, feel me

Sometimes when she was in Indonesia, lying in bed, thinking about how her decision to stay on the safe side as Booth would call it and not take a leap of faith as he would say again was one of the most huge mistakes that she had ever made. She could even sometimes imagine him, comforting her and telling her their time would never finish.

Another ragged breath, another harsh swipe of tears.

And all the time you were tellin' me lies

'No' Brennan thought. "Specific chemical substances such as oxytocin are studied in the context of their roles in producing human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. Love is not real. Love is not necessary. Humans only mate at times to procreate to continue the existence of their species and to ensure that knowledge and culture are passed on and not lost." Brennan spoke out loud. All her qualms about love seeping back into her heart at full force.

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

She was an independent, confident woman. An established and bestselling author. A world renowned anthropologist and consultant. The best there is. She didn't need to lean or depend on anyone but herself. She certainly didn't need Booth. He had caused enough disorders in her life and she didn't need any more. Certainly not when it hurt as much as to breath, not when it hurt to think about him. She would make it through tonight without him. She would make it through the next night without him. Maybe she would cry herself to sleep. Maybe she would read all her books and try to imagine her life in alignment of her fictional characters. Maybe she would stay awake the whole night to avoid Booth ridden dreams. But she was Temperance Brennan and she would find away to survive without him.

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed

Slowly she dragged herself up and furiously wiped at the salty moisture on her cheeks. Not bothering to go back to the bathroom and wash her face another time Brennan slowly made her way to her comfortable bed that at that moment looked too big, too empty and too lonesome. Slipping under cool covers Brennan lay her weary head on the pillow and turned around to put her hand on the other empty side. She wondered if anybody had ever tried sleeping with a broken heart. Yes, the cynical Temperance Brennan would accept, if only for that night in the prison of her own mind that her heart would be broken. Not physically but metaphorically. That she would feel the pain of unrequited love. A pain so great that it felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

Lonely, on me nobody ever shut it down like you
You want a crown
You made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me
Near me, I thought you told me
You'd never leave me

It hurt. It hurt to remember his comforting hugs, his promises of never leaving, his pledge of forever, his whispered words of devotion that looped themselves around her heart and dragged it down like chains attached to a stone in the black abyss of broken dreams. She thought he had promised he would never leave.

Looking in the sky I could see your face
And I know right where I fit in

Flipping to her other side she faced her window. The soft glow of street lamps and head lights lit up the ground as an unobstructed view of the Lincoln Memorial outlined the dark horizon. Millions of stars littered the sky. She could see two brightly lit stars separated by a tinier star and surrounded by more brightly lit stars. Slowly Brennan began to count them. One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight. Eight stars in the group including the tiny star at the edge of the constellation. Booth, Hannah, Angela, Hodgins, Sweets, Cam, Michelle and finally Brennan.

Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love
With you
Right til the end ooh

Brennan knew somehow she'd always be in love with Booth. She tried denying it that night in front of Hoover and she tried denying it while in Maluku but now she was tired of denying. She was tired of hurting Booth and tired of being hurt. She knew that she'd always love him right till the end.

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

He was with Hannah. He was happy. Booth didn't need her in his life anymore so why was she still here? Brennan knew the answers to that query before the last two tear drops hit the pillow and had soaked. Because she knew to be away from him, to not see him was even too painful to consider. Brennan knew now she was just being selfish. She knew by being there she was just causing the inevitable change to be harder but she just didn't care. She didn't want to be away from him but she could just have to adapt to a life that would make it without her partner. After all that was how the world and all living organisms had survived for so long. They lived, they struggled and they adapted.

Anybody could've told you right from the start
It's bound to fall apart
So rather than hold on to a broken dream
We'll just hold on to love

She should have known from the beginning. From the moment she saw him enter into the lecture hall that whatever spark she felt. Whatever emotions or chemicals that inclined her to linger her eyes on the handsome stranger that whatever new chapter that she was about to open in her life would fall apart at the end. Because she just wasn't meant to have eternal happiness or love or anything else.

Her pillow was soaked but Brennan just couldn't bring herself to care or stop the waterfall of tears. She had decided to hold on to love and not regrets although it was just so hard to do that when the regret was face to face with her everyday.

And I could find a way to make it
Don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

She had already learned long before meeting Booth that it was stupid to get too attached. Looking at her parents, her brother, Michael, various foster families that actually treated her kindly that nothing lasted forever. But she had made a vow to herself during her crying spell that she would stay out of Booth's way. She would let Booth be with Hannah if that's what made him happy. She would let life thrive and prosper around her but she would stay out of everyone's way. It seemed that she wasn't needed, she wasn't wanted and she wasn't loved. Brennan was going to find a way to make it without him.

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Angsty beginning but wait for more. In the mean time please drop a review for the next chapter.