A To-love-Ru-some Adventure

by panda-kun77

What do you get when an amnesiac blond ninja meets a stoic blonde assassin? Simple. You get mayhem, action and trouble. Join this odd pair of assassins as they venture across the galaxy fighting epic battles of planetary proportions, hunting down criminals of the galactic republic and entertaining the heiresses of the ruling empire, all the while enjoying Ramen. Need I say more?

Disclaimer: This is all fanfiction and by no means do I own anything related to the materials found here.

Please READ AUTHOR'S NOTES at the end of your read.

---

The boy padded his vest down and pulled out a pair of black gloves from one of the pockets, slipping it over his hands as he examined the battered steel panel in front of him, its grey surface bearing indentations from several pipes that had collided against it.

Furrowing his brows, he tapped his earpiece and spoke. "Hey, you sure we have extras to replace this?"

A voice crackled over the communicator. "Yes sir. We've sent out a couple of technicians to retrieve one. They should be arriving shortly."

"Okay... don't blame me if I break something because of this."

"We won't."

Cutting the connection, Naruto tightened his gloves and promptly drove his fist into the cold steel, caving the center with little effort and ripping free its outer edges. The bolts and nuts keeping it in place shot out like bullets as the metal groaned in protest and sunk into the watery floor. The blond didn't blink as the cold liquid splashed across his face, eyes too transfixed on the large network of pipes that had been concealed from view.

"Panels open," he said. "Now what?"

A blonde haired girl in black clothing waded through the water and stopped beside him. Her nonchalant, ruby eyes darted across the screen of a data-pad she held on one hand. She took a moment to read the instructions before pointing to a large, red valve poking from a corner of the exposed system.

"Manually depressurize for 1 minute then inspect for damages." She said as she raised her finger toward the top pipe where water was leaking from a crack. "If the problem persists after replacing a pipe, consult the nearest plumber."

"But Mario ain't here though," Naruto snickered. He stopped to look at her when she didn't react. "Geez Yami-chan. When will you ever take a joke?"

"When everything on this ship is fixed and I've gotten a vacation." She answered, jabbing a finger at the pipes. "Get started."

Sighing, the blond gripped the red valve and turned it sharply. It screeched in mild resistance before submitting to his control, smoothly channeling water through the pipelines surrounding the dim room. The two took that as a queue to step back and fan their eyes out for anything strange, flashlights sweeping across every nook and cranny. When one large pipe began rattling uncontrollably right above them, Yami jerked her head at it, signaling to the blond ninja.

"On it."

Leaping into action, Naruto snapped a kick, his protected shin connecting to the hard surface and smashing the pipe from the middle up. Much like the metal panel, it groaned for an instant before breaking in half, spewing forth a torrent of water that doused Naruto upon returning to the flooded floor, drenching his already soaked suit. He looked up in time to catch a towel thrown his way, courtesy of the observant Yami, as he turned to assess his handiwork.

"You think that was it?" He asked while drying his hair.

"It is. I'm getting positive reports from both Bridge and Engineering."

"Dang. Wish I could use this method more on those things that need fixing. Makes it a hell of a lot easier, hehe." The blond grinned and slung the towel around his neck. "I'm guessing they'll take over from here and do the rest?"

Yami nodded. "Once they finish celebrating."

The blond ninja blinked. "What?"

Rather than respond, Yami showed it to him via her data-pad. Naruto eyed the message from the engineering crew and the comical picture attached to it. Cake and confetti covered one side of the screen while colorful party hats dominated a majority of heads, their owners cheering with red cups of fruit punch raised in the air.

"'Mission accomplished! Thank you commander Naruto—captain Yami.'" He read as a tick mark developed at the side of his head. "Those guys have waaaay too much time on their hands if they got a party going that fast..."

Yami didn't reply, choosing to instead inspect their work a final time before making her way out of the flooded compartments of the pump room and into drier ground. Naruto quickly followed after her, scooping up the large tool kit along the way as he trudge up a flight of stairs and pass a pair of technicians carrying a brand new metal panel. The blond ninja briefly eyed his reflection on its pristine surface as it passed by, noting how his hair had gotten longer and his muscles more defined, before bounding up the last few steps to catch up to his partner.

"Where to next?" He asked upon settling into her pace.

"The armory," She answered. "I'll be overseeing renovations done to the crew quarters in the second and third levels directly after. You, on the other hand, will head to the Med-bay later. Dr. Mikado requires your help there so be sure to bring along a couple Enforcers with you. Those generators are very delicate and will require extra hands—not you're clones'."

Disappointed, Naruto asked: "What do I do after that?"

"Take a look," Yami said, handing him her pad. "It's on the second tab."

No sooner had he read the list of chores the blonde assassin had highlighted in yellow, Naruto froze mid-step, blinking disbelievingly at the screen. He had to reread it a second time before his mind could process the information.

They've only finished one out of forty repairs? Was he reading that correctly?

"This must be some kind of mistake." He said, indicating to the screen with a finger, particularly at the numerical figure on top of the list. "I thought we only had four to do? This is the opposite of what I remembered."

"No mistakes." Yami spun around to face him with an indifferent look. "The repairs we did yesterday were minor. From today and tomorrow we'll be working around the clock fixing all the damages we've sustained from the battle. We can discuss furthermore tonight if you'd like, but for now let's keep moving. I want to restore the armory before lunch."

Without waiting for a response, Yami strode ahead, her footsteps echoing across the quiet halls as she went.

Behind her, Naruto groaned as he thumped his head against the nearest wall. "Goddamn Boneheads..."

---

A To-Love-Ru-some Adventure

~Unknown Chapter~

---

"Princess Lala!"

"My lady!"

"Mistress!"

"Ah Muuu~! Leave me alone already!" Lala cried out as she dove under a pair of burly men and leaped out the window behind them. Her pink gown bellowed wildly against the rushing wind as she plummeted to the ground, flashing healthy thighs and her unmentionables to anyone close enough to see. Lala didn't care though as escaping took top priority over her modesty.

Newly reformed as of a week ago, the men pursuing her were a determined bunch unlike their predecessors. They all came from different parts of Deviluke's military, handpicked by her father to be the most trustworthy and loyal. They had a one-track mind that followed orders without question and held a drive to please their superiors. With the exception of Zastin, her ever dutiful bodyguard, Lala didn't really like any of them.

As the ground drew ever closer, Lala whipped out her faithful D-Dial and punched in a code. A brief light erupted from the screen as Peke emerged from an array of digital sparks. The dress-bot immediately clung onto her creator's back and activated one of her emergency protocols, transforming herself into a pair of black bat-wings that sprung to life and slowed Lala's descent.

Unfortunately Lala's little trick did not stop the Royal Guard, and they proved their capability to adapt by following her example. The height she had leaped off from made no difference to them as half a dozen black suits dove after her floating form, their faces set in grim determination. One would think the princess wouldn't be surprised by this, having grown accustomed to her guard's unwavering devotion to their work, but she was.

"Eek! Get us out of here Peke!"

The dress-bot didn't need further prompting and flew off at her maximum speed. Everything around them blurred as both image and sound became nothing more than a chaotic mess of roaring winds and colorful stripes. By the time Peke had spent the majority of her energy, they were well away from their pursuers, the tall, black spires of Deviluke's capital city being nothing more than a needle in the distance.

Lala guided her exhausted companion down on a nearby roof of a building and allowed her to rest behind a tank of water. The town they had escaped to held little interest to her and thus no plans of scouting was made. There was plenty of escape routes to choose from, an ample of places to hide in if the need arises and at least half an hour before Zastin uncovers her location and alerted his troops. As far as Lala was concerned, now was the perfect time to relax and read some mail.

"Rest well Peke." Lala whispered warmly as she patted her invention's head.

Taking a seat beside the snoozing dress-bot, Lala activated her D-dial and summoned her favorite communicator; a lotus-shaped device in the color pink and white. It had been remodeled several times in the past until settling on a more permanent design. Now the product she held in her hands was easily one of her greatest inventions... that wasn't made for pranks.

Tucking her knees close to her chest, the heiress of Deviluke opened up a few holo-screens in front of her, each containing different messages. Lala was cautious though and added a small EWS (Early Warning System) window above the rest. Its small camera, disguised as a transparent balloon, hovered vigilantly above their position, monitoring comm. channels and rendering a map of the area onto the EWS window.

"There we go~." Lala smiled in satisfaction and thumbed the first mail to her right, projecting a cute "envelop" that opened to reveal a basic message with a pink themed background.

It was from a Devilukian friend who used to live in the neighboring system.

---

Received: xx-xx-xxxx (12:46 AM)

Sender: Alice D.

Subject: News

Hey there,

Sorry for the lateness, but I've been busy helping Mum set up shop in the Shadow Sector. It's been hard. You wouldn't believe what type of assholes live down here. Can't even get a descent rent on a cheap hotel without causing a scene. Just the other day Mum pulled me out from work a couple times because of these damn movers wouldn't accept a bargain. I don't want to write something long so I'll just make the exciting story short: I introduced my guns, chased them around the town and had to hide from the Law for the rest of the day. I'm fine now though so don't you worry your pretty pink head. :P

Anyways, how've you been? Tutors still boring? Deviluke still the same old place? Or has your dad finally painted it pink for you? Ha! That'd be the day. Only our goofball would have the resources and steel balls to do that. Right under your old man's nose no less, lol!

By the way, I'm planning to meet up with him and Yami pretty soon. I haven't seen them in months! Mind you, our video correspondents don't count since it's not the same as being with them in person. Friends gotta hang out once in awhile, after all. Also... I'm a little worried.

I just thought you should know that we lost contact with each other a few days ago. They were on their way here to pick me up, but took a sudden detour somewhere near the Orion Sector. The last message they sent was pretty short and distressing. I know they can damn well take care of themselves, but I'm hoping nothing bad happened. I'm thinking of sending out Hat and Mar to search for them, but I'll wait for a couple more days.

Well, works calling me now, I gotta go. I'll let you know if they turn up.

See ya!

Alice

---

Blinking, Lala took a few minutes to send a reply before opening the next one. She wondered what had happened to her best friends, but figured she'll get the chance to find out. The last mail belonged to him, after all.

---

Received: xx-xx-xxxx (1:17AM)

Sender: Unknown

Subject: Thank You

Lala Satalin Deviluke,

I'll be brief with you.

"The future is covered by a red curtain,

So beware of those who have fallen.

Find the Empresses Ultimate Champion

He'll prevent the Four God's machination.

If unity comes with a heavy price

Let lady fate cast the dice."

For the services you and your companions had done for our race, we reward you with these predictions. Take them to heart and hide them well for those accursed agents still lurk within our realm.

Till we meet again...

---

Lala liked puzzles and riddles, but somehow this anonymous mail made her feel uncomfortable. It was very... cryptic. She brightened, however, after seeing who was next.

---

Received: Yesterday (11:02PM)

Sender: Momo Velia Deviluke

Subject: D-dial

Dear Big Sister,

Are you well? How are father and mother doing? Has father gone to one of his 'trips' lately? What of mother? Has she finished the treaties she has been working on? It's been a couple weeks since I last sent a mail so I hope you weren't worried. Nana and I are doing fine here and so are brother dear and Ms Yami. They're taking good care of us as always.

Presently, we are about a week away from home, but will be making some scheduled stops on several Trade Worlds so it may take longer. Nana and I are wondering if you can fashion us new D-Dials by the time we return. Forgive us but, due to a certain incident that occurred a couple days ago, our D-dials were damaged and unable to function. We followed the instructions you've left beforehand and sent them along with the usual package that brother dear sends you. If it is possible to salvage the data from them then please do so. I'm afraid there are still a number of our friends left in the virtual space.

Thank you again big sister, and please give our regards to Mother and father. We hope to see you all soon.

Much love,

Momo

P.S. Nana and I have decided to go through with your suggestion. I'm uncertain how it will end, but I'm hoping for the best. Wish us luck.

---

"I'm not surprise they broke your inventions, princess Lala. You did the same when you traveled with the commander."

Lala nearly shrieked in fright as she jerked to address the speaker.

"Peke! Don't scare me like that!" she scolded, pressing a hand over her chest to soothe her racing heart. "I thought you were still recharging?"

"I still am." The dress-bot confirmed with a nod before floating up to sit on the railing to her right. The water tank was comfy enough to rest against, but she wouldn't be able to see the mail her master was reading. "I'm currently running on 5% power but charging at a rate of 400se per second. I've only rested for a few minutes to reach the 20% mark. This dual core system you've installed is remarkably efficient, princess Lala. I like it very much."

The Deviluke heiress beamed with pride. "Great! I'll let Naruto know the product works."

"Is he by chance next?"

Glancing at the last mail, she nodded her head vigorously. "He is. Let's see what he's been up to..."

---

Received: Today (10:50AM)

Sender: Naruto Uzumaki

Subject: Work, work, work!

Yo!

I thought I'd do something different from our usual screen-chats and gave this a try. Well, actually, it's more like Yami-chan forced me to practice using this since I can't exactly use my communicator just yet... that and the fact that most of our comm. systems being down. Yea. We kinda ran into some problems on our way to Deviluke. I don't really want to go into details because if I do I might just blabber so I'll give you a short summary.

You know those Boneheads we met in the Aquila? That one planet near those Protoss fleet we met up? Well, we found them..err, they found us. I can't tell which of us did that. But anyway, we fought for a couple hours and our ship got hammered good. Next thing we knew, we were hauling ass when their friends showed up and got into another firefight during transit. In the end we got stuck in some... place. I can't tell where, but it's very close to the Red Nebula, like we can practically reach the place in a day.

Anywho, we lived through that mess and now working on fixing the ship. This would be day number two and I'm still not sure how long we'll be stuck here. Just in case we can't get our engines working in time, I've attached the recent coordinates on this message, so send us a little help if you can. We can't get a hold of any patrols near here nor can we contact Hibari and the rest. Zastin would be nice. He can keep the twins company and give me something to do over here besides working on repairs. It's boring as hell!

I'll try sending another message tonight. Hopefully I'll have my communicator up and running by then.

Later for now.

Your best pal,

Naruto

P.S. Don't sweat the details, my promise still stands.

---

The dress-bot snorted after finishing the last line. "It's no wonder Commander Naruto dislikes sending mails this way. His grammar is horrible and lacks elegance. Did he not have the 'error filters' on?"

"Now, now Peke..." Lala chided good-naturedly. "Be kind to him. He just doesn't understand how to use most technologies."

"Except for anything related to weapons and the like." Peke concluded before her master could say it. The dress-bot shook her head in exasperation. "Boys will be boys."

Lala couldn't help but burst into a fit of giggles. She couldn't deny that truth since her father was fairly similar to Naruto. Put them into a room and no more than 5 minutes they'll be tossing fists at each other with reckless abandon.

"Do you plan to reply right now, Princess Lala?"

"Mm-hm~ I just need to—"

-PRIT-PRIT-PRIT-

"Maybe not." Lala fumed and switched to her EWS screen. Red markers dotted the small map as her Royal Guards converged on them. They were about a couple clicks east from where they were and would likely catch her if she didn't move soon.

Standing up, she dusted her dress and tapped the side of her cheeks thoughtfully. "I guess I'll do this tonight. Peke~ remind me to send you an errand later."

"What type of errand?" The dress-bot asked, floating to her height.

"I don't know just yet, but just remind me."

"Very well."

Now that she's read her mail, the gears were turning in her head. She had been struck with the most brilliant idea yet. It was utterly devious... and if she executed correctly, not only would it alleviate her boredom, but also kiss her daily lessons goodbye for the next couple weeks. All she needed was the right place, the right time and a perfect excuse...

Smiling mischievously, Lala stored her communicator and camera into the D-dial and gathered Peke in one arm before jumping off the roof and disappearing into the dark alley below. Moments later, the Royal Guard arrived at the scene, sweeping the area for clues.

"Princess Lala..." Zastin muttered as his eyes searched frantically for her. "Where could that troublesome girl be?"

The Deviluke Heiress was never found for the rest of the day.

---

Naruto's task of routing certain power cables into the medical bay's back-up generators was further delayed by Yami's request to assist her with the ships navigational repairs. Apparently the girl's knowledge and capability to multi-task using her special powers didn't quite meet the requirements to handle most of the ships delicate machinery. So after apologizing to Mikado and promising her that he'll return to continue his work, the ninja met up with the petite blonde girl at the bridge and immediately set out to work.

The two quickly discovered that there were far more problems than they originally anticipated. For one thing, that blasted pet of their client seemed to have a habit of sneaking into cramp places to nibble on the wirings of their hardware systems. The other problem they found caught them by surprise. Some of the computer circuits required either a replacement or a complete upgrade; the current ones were borderline obsolete. In fact, one of the hard-drives was so outdated that it was having trouble configuring to the newer systems. How no one managed to notice this until now baffled them.

Huffing irritably, Naruto raised an armored hand to wipe away the soot covering his once clear visor as he diligently worked through the wirings of the bluish circuit in front of him. He paused to scrutinize two particular plugs he held on either hand, frowning at them uncertainly for a moment before calling out to his fellow blonde, hoping that she was near enough to assist him.

"Hey, Yami-chan… was it the teal plug with the 75cL label used for that waveform thingy on the bottom monitor? Or was it the red one that does that? I can't tell which is which; they both look like they can fit on either socket."

"Let me see." He heard her say.

Transitioning from the confined darkness that surrounded him to the fairly lit room of the bridge, Naruto found the petite blonde kneeling beside him, her crimson eyes already inspecting the two colored wires carefully.

"These were manufactured by separate companies who use similar designs," She noted. "The teal is for the power and the red is for the 'wave form thingy' you need to hook up."

"Oh… okay then!"

Yami shifted a bit just as he returned to his workstation. "How many have you completed so far?"

Sliding back out from the dim compartment, Naruto pursed his lips in thought as his eyes alternated between her and the wires. "Most of them. I just need to plug these two in and we're good to go… I think. You may want to check it out yourself in case I'm wrong."

The blonde assassin nodded and did so when the task was finished. To Naruto's delight, her inspection turned up clean and was rewarded an approving thumbs-up for a job well done, leaving a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. While he obligingly replaced the metal panels he'd taken out earlier at her behest, Yami tested the navigation systems for signs of error or malfunctions. They were both relieved when the monitors flickered on in a healthy greenish glow as alien glyphs and status menus emerged on screen.

"No bugs or errors detected. Star grids appear operational." Yami rapidly pounded the keys and brought forth several holo-screens into view. She inspected the cascading data streaming through carefully before returning to the default screens and running across several more keys. When she appeared satisfied with the results of her work, she tapped a particular green button at the side and spoke up. "Diagnostics came up positive, all systems are nominal. The Nav-System is back online, Dr. Mikado."

"That's the first good news I've heard all day." Appearing via a hazy holo-screen, they were greeted by the red haired doctor whose charming smile appeared less energetic than usual. Actually, now that Naruto thought about it, she's been looking tired lately and he wondered why… "Nice work you two. Now if you would, Yami-chan, please proceed as planned and set a course for home. I'd like to get there as soon as possible; preferably within the next few days."

"Understood. Plotting course for Earth." Yami announced, bringing up several more screens with a flourish of her hands.

Blinking rapidly, Naruto removed his visor and uttered a dumbfounded "What…?" at her. Mikado's request caught him off guard and he watched uncertainly as the stoic girl examined the mountains of numerical figures on screen, sparing him neither a single glance nor an explanation when he shot her a questioning look. Did he miss something?

"Fuel is at 31 percent and we're running low on rations." She informed them quietly. "We'll be stopping by the nearest station to refuel and resupply before transit, otherwise our ETA is at 53 hours and 40 minutes. Is this acceptable, Doctor?"

"Very. Thank you, Yami-chan."

"Whoa! Wait, hold on," Naruto exclaimed as brows furrowed in confusion. He drew himself closer to speak and inadvertently screened the petite girl next to him. "What's this about going back? I thought we were heading to Deviluke—wait, what about A-chan?"

Mikado exhaled softly as her gaze turned rueful. "Naruto-kun… I'm sorry. Even though it has been a fun journey for me, I think it's about time I returned home."

Yami spoke next. "You don't need to worry about Alice. I've informed her of our delay late last night. She said she will borrow her mother's ship and meet us partway to earth."

"Well that's good." Naruto sighed in relief and turned to face the Doctor. "But how come you're leaving? It's only been a couple weeks since—"

"Three and a half." Yami interjected, abruptly pushing him aside to finally reclaim her station.

"Right, it's only been three and a half weeks since we left." He amended, grimacing at the information and at Yami's attempts to keep him barred from the screen. "Why do you wanna go back so soon?—Yami-chan! Give me some room here, I can't see her!"

"Then look over my shoulders, I was here first."

Grumbling to himself, the blonde shuffled into place just as Mikado sighed tiredly, lacing her hands together to rest her chin upon them. Her actions brought her closer to the screen, revealing the true extent of her health. Apparently she hadn't been sleeping too well as thin dark rings marred the skin beneath her eyes, prompting a tiny frown of concern to appear on the young Golden Darkness. Why hadn't she noticed before?

"Naruto-kun, I'm not cut out for these wild adventures of yours… not anymore. These last couple weeks has shown me how much I prefer living the simple life back on Earth. I've even started missing my home, my personal brewed tea, my clinic and the many humans and aliens I treat there."

"Treating? Isn't that the same here?"

"No, not quite." She disagreed, shaking her head. "While I enjoy working for you two, and the living comforts provided here, it's just not the same as it is back home."

Yami tilted her head slightly to stare at the blonde. "Dr. Mikado's objectives had long been fulfilled and her research materials already shipped off. Further involving herself in your personal escapades to Deviluke is unnecessary."

Frowning, Naruto was quick to raise his arms in defense, hands opened wide. "Hey, I'm not saying I want her to stay with us…Well, okay, maybe I do." He dipped his head sheepishly at Yami's deadpanned stare before clearing his throat. "But seriously... Mikado-sensei is our best Medic. I don't know anyone who can top her in that field. We're technically losing a valuable asset to our crew if she goes."

"We have the chamber for that reason." Yami countered readily. "Our technicians should have that up by now."

"Uh, in case you didn't get the memo, Yami-chan, that thing ain't reliable. It's likely to drown someone first before doing its actual job."

"That happened only once," She argued indifferently. "The techs will ensure that it won't lose power again."

"I'll believe it when I see it!"

"Fufufufu… there's no need to worry, Naruto. I got that little problem covered." The doctor smiled reassuringly as she keyed in several commands that brought up an attractive picture of a woman in white coat with long, brownish-orange hair. "This is a former apprentice of mine who's been in contact with me ever since we left Earth. She had just recently finished her medical studies in Japan about a week ago and is currently searching for employment. I figured that since I promised her a position as my assistant nurse awhile back, and the fact that I'll be leaving my post here, I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and have her replace me as your crew's Head Medic."

Tapping several buttons, Yami swiped the screen into an awaiting tablet she acquired from nearby, carefully watching as the files of the woman's dossier transferred over to it. As the unofficial vice-captain of the ship, she took responsibility of overseeing crew recruitment. Naruto would've loved to take up the job but was unfortunately denied the chance to when Yami claimed his intentions to be too childish.

Naruto admitted that recruiting a diverse number of aliens without proper screening was a bit too much, but he was quite defiant about it. For a time, that particular job was left hovering in the air between them. Neither one was giving the other grounds to advance their position until Yami brought up some convincing argument to the table. In the end, after some intense bartering that left an entire meeting room wrecked, they found common ground and he reluctantly relinquished the responsibility of recruitment up to her. In return, he gained the right to select the missions and command the forces under them—a responsibility that Yami surrendered indifferently. Good enough trade, he supposed.

As his partner leisurely reviewed the dossier, Naruto tilted his head to the side curiously upon glimpsing the woman's name.

"Tae Anagesaki?" His face contorted in deep thought. "…Hey, that's a Japanese name! I didn't know you taught alien biology to other humans. Is she good?"

"Better than good," Yami answered. "She graduated from Tokyo University of Earth and was a former graduate of the Intergalatic BIOS Academy of the Syro Sector. She's versed in treating several hundred kinds of Alien Races in the community and can hold herself well under pressure. There's more to say, but I advise you to read them yourself. By all accounts, she's more than qualified for the position."

Handing the tablet over to the blond ninja, Yami immersed herself in her own personal work, entrusting the final decision to him. She had been doing that a lot lately, he noticed, and it made him wonder when she had changed so much. While he approved of her development, it still raised his curiosity enough to question her sometime in the future.

Glancing down at the dossier, Naruto perked up almost immediately upon registering something important she mentioned. "Wait a minute… she's an alien?"

"Hybrid." The doctor corrected, only to elaborate further when he raised a brow in reply. "Much like humans, interracial breeding has become commonplace and equally unpredictable. Seeing as how both races resemble each other to a certain degree, it's not surprising that you mistook Tae for a human. Her father was a Dolarian soldier from the Asterick System while her mother was pure human. She inherited the majority of her father's genes while retaining a human appearance from her mother's side."

"Uh… good to know. But still… are you sure this Tae person is good, sensei?"

Mikado nodded as a hint of pride kindled within her eyes. "I can personally vouch for her skills and highly recommend having her with you at all times. Despite her looks, Tae's a mean combat medic with experience on par with my own. She'll make an excellent addition to your adventuring party. The only other person who boasts similar qualifications is an old colleague of mine from an R&D Organization I previously worked for. Although, I'm afraid she's rather… difficult to find these days."

Scratching his head, Naruto looked up thoughtfully. "Well, if you say so. I guess we can give her a shot."

"Excellent. I'll contact her immediately and hash out the details."

"Payment is going to be an issue though." The blonde frowned worriedly. "I don't think I'll have enough Kredits for her salary since most of the shares I get from missions are divided between maintenance fees for this ship, the usual expenses for our standing forces and the funding for the projects Hibari and the others are overseeing. The natural resources we harvested the past month are also still on auction, and what profit we gained a few days ago are still pending. I can try providing her other alternatives but I'm not too sure about that..."

"Don't forget the 25500ISKs worth of repairs for my ship." Yami reminded, pausing briefly from her work to cast a light glare.

"…There's that too." Naruto winced and slapped a hand over his eyes, slowly dragging it down his face as he tallied the numbers in his head. He'd totally forgotten about that issue…

"I'm sure we'll work something out." Mikado smiled encouragingly. "In the mean time, get some rest as soon as you've finished repairs there; you could use the break. I've already asked a few of your Enforcers to work on the generators so there's no need for you to return here."

Acknowledging with a nod, Naruto welcomed the news readily. That's another good chunk of load off his shoulders. "Sure thing, sensei. Just promise me you'll do the same 'cause you look like crap right now—no offense," He hurriedly added.

Amused, Mikado merely chuckled in response. "I'll see you later, Naruto-kun."

As soon as their conversation concluded and Mikado's screen flickered out, the blonde ninja regarded Tae's dossier a final time and carefully placed it atop Yami's station. Even if there was still much to do elsewhere, the doctor was right; he actually felt tired enough to nap somewhere quiet. Unless Yami still had work for him to do, like studying up on more inter-stellar regulations or getting together for a little friendly spar in the simulators, Naruto could rush through an errand or two before finding a place to catch some Zs.

Arching his backs into a stretch and loosening the taught muscles accumulated from hard labor, Naruto casually took note of how spacious the bridge really was. Apart from a pair of Enforcers guarding the blast doors, one decked in the standard orange armor and the other in a sleek black, and a trio of technicians monitoring several screens, he and Yami were the only ones there. The room was usually populated with security and bridge crews numbering in the dozens, so seeing it rather empty felt strange to Naruto; barren even.

Shaking his head from his musings, the blonde knelt down to collect the stray tools on the floor, packing them away haphazardly into the tool box nearby. As simple as the task was, Naruto was never one to keep things organized. That was usually Hibari's or Yami's job, not his.

"Hey Yami-chan, is there anything else you want me to do?" He asked, checking on the time. "If not, I'm going to see how the twins are doing down at the Gardens. Last I heard they were still prepping for the tea party with some of their friends..."

"The Navigations was all I required help with. Everything else could be done electronically from here," The blonde assassin answered softly as she motioned to the black armored Enforcer on guard duty, beckoning him over with a wave of her hand. "Bring this Enforcer with you. He's to repair the camera and sprinkler systems that Princess Momo and Princess Nana 'accidentally' broke last night. I've already stationed a few Brawlers down there as a precaution, but keep a close eye on those two nonetheless."

Naruto couldn't help but chuckle in agreement. "Troublesome, right? Those two are pretty devilish—no pun intended—when they want to be… especially Nana. I can't count how many times she's used me as her "Pets'" personal chew toy. Compared to Momo, that girl has some screws lose or something."

Yami gave him another deadpanned stare. "Like you?"

"Yea, like me." He blinked rapidly. "Wait, what? Hey!" The blonde sputtered indignantly. "I'm not crazy!"

"I never said you were."

"Yami-chan!" He whined. "You're mean…"

---

As it turns out, the mischievous twins weren't very difficult to find amidst the dense canopy of trees and vegetation that populated the Botanical Garden. A trio of the most energetic wolves he's ever laid eyes upon appeared mere moments of his arrival to escort him to them. Their dog-pile greeting had been an amusing experience for Naruto, but not very well received by the squad of Enforcers that accompanied him and the Black-Enforcer. As soon as he was released, they took guard positions around him and remained vigilant throughout their journey to the Tea Party.

After following the wolves through a winding path lined by their brethrens acting as sentries, Naruto's group eventually stepped into a wide clearing fit for an outdoor picnic. The field of grass before them played host to a community of colorful blankets and wild animals (alien ones) as Cherry Blossom trees bloomed on every direction, sheltering most of them from the bright rays of the artificial sun that hung above. At the very center of this placid scenery, dressed in their signature, gothic outfits and surrounded by a spread of tantalizing sweets and drinks, were the two Deviluke Princesses Momo and Nana, who were conversing quietly by themselves.

From afar, they didn't appear to have started just yet. Naruto could see that most of the confections—with the exception of the tea—remained untouched while Nana's 'friends' erupted into playful scuffles every few moments, pointedly ignoring their share of food and effectively shattering the once tranquil image Naruto had pictured moments ago.

"Ah, there's brother dear."

The familiar voice of Momo jarred him from his thoughts. He centered his gaze in time to catch Nana searching wildly for him, her large expressive eyes anxiously scanning the area as a tiny fang poked out from a corner of her upturned lips. Naruto could almost see her wearing a pair of dog ears on top of her head with a matching fluffy tail replacing the heart-tipped one that wiggled enthusiastically behind her. It was strange, but fittingly appropriate for some reason.

"Where is he? Where is he?" She repeated eagerly before her eyes caught his and beckoned him over with a hand. "Oh! Over here, bro. Hurry!"

Waving goofily, Naruto dismissed the Enforcers accompanying him and carefully navigated the maze of restless creatures and natural flora strewn across his path. His armored escorts faded amongst the brushes just as he stopped near the edge of the twin's pink blanket to survey the area surrounding them.

It was relieving to find that none of the more enthusiastic playmates of Nana's hadn't jump him just yet, preferring to keeping a healthy distance away as they gorged themselves with their meals. The blond ninja was quite grateful for that. He wasn't exactly fond of being buried beneath their combined weight anytime soon.

As much as Naruto enjoyed their company whenever he visited the animal princess in his spare time, their behavior often became unbearable if he stayed for too long, especially in the evenings when he wandered the Botanical Gardens in search of a place to meditate. Nana's nocturnal pets really loved to drive him nuts then; prodding, sniffing and playfully smacking their tails or paws on his person. They even had the audacity to take a twig and poke his eyes with it at one point. Needless to say Nana found the majority of them stripped of their fur and splayed unconscious atop a boulder the next day. Naruto caughtsome flack afterwards, but nothing he couldn't brush off with logic on his side.

"This looks more like a picnic than a tea party, doesn't it?" He finally remarked, gesturing towards the large cooler sitting idly beside Momo. He assumed it was one of Lala's many inventions that preserved food as he glimpsed a few of Mikan's homemade sandwiches peeking out from the small opening of the lid. For something that was stored nearly several weeks ago, they appeared fresh as the day they were made.

Nana shrugged in response, her grin widening slightly. "Does it really matter? There's not much difference between the two if you ask me; they both involve food."

The ninja chuckled, responding "True enough," before joining them on the ground, his mouth watering in anticipation and stomach churning with demand.

"Brother dear…your shoes." Momo spoke out, absently offering a clean plate and eating utensils for him to use as her gaze drifted across the collection of sweets in search of something.

"Right, right. Shoes off. Got it." She beamed happily when the blond ninja rolled his eyes and complied with her unspoken command. It made following proper etiquette quite rewarding. "Better?"

"Mm!"

"So what took you so long?" Nana asked as she cheerfully sliced a piece of dark cake for herself. She almost moaned in pleasure upon taking the first bite, her eyes clenching tightly to savor the taste. "Haaaa… Earthling food is so good!"

Both Momo and Naruto shared an amused smile as the former poured a cup of tea for the latter. The aroma of the warm drink eased the ninja almost immediately, clearing the exhaustion that had clung to his back as he took his first sip. It was moments like this that Naruto considered living a relatively peaceful life back on earth, utterly free of the excitement and adventure that had been a constant fixture since his awakening almost three years ago. Perhaps Dr. Mikado was right about the peace on earth…

He thought about it.

… Oh who was he kidding? Playing courier, hunting galactic fugitives and exploring unchartered planets was way more interesting than sitting on the back porch of his home drinking tea. No offense to his adopted sister Mikan—who enjoyed that sort of activity—but Naruto preferred the thrills and perils of his chosen occupation. Without such elements present to disrupt his day to day living, Naruto was certain that the dreaded enemy he called 'boredom' will end him faster than he could devour his beloved Miso Ramen.

That was an exaggeration, of course, but really... 'Death by boredom?' Not the way to go for an epic ninja like him.

"I got a little sidetracked on the way here." The blond admitted sheepishly and thanked Momo for the slice of cake she handed him without prompt. "Mr. Mad Scientist Muto cornered me for an experiment and so I ended up staying behind to help clean up when it failed… again." He gave a lopsided grin at the memory as the twins giggled in mirth. "After that, nature called and I answered. Am I really late though? You two barely ate anything here…"

"We were waiting for you, of course." Momo said, patting his arm playfully as her left hand rose up to cover her smile. Being the most collective and mature of the twins, despite also being the youngest, her actions gave off a certain elegance that Naruto found mildly fascinating at times. "A party is no fun without brother dear here."

Her spunky twin bobbed her head cheerfully in agreement, tossing him a cream puff to gain his attention. "Yea, now let's eat! Here. Try this stuff too—it taste great." She held up a gel-looking pastry and offered it to him.

"Oh…uh, sure thing. Thanks." Naruto accepted it with a measure of uncertainty and placed it aside for later.

'Much, much later.' He mentally added, suppressing the urge to shudder and hurl at the same time when the strange pastry wiggled in place. The blond could've sworn he saw something moving in it just a second ago.

In his distraction he failed to notice the sharp frown that shaped Momo's lips as her brows crunched inwardly, her attention latching onto her twin.

"Nana, don't we have something else to do before that?" The plant princess whispered quietly.

"Do what?" The animal princess asked bewilderedly between bites of her cake. The disbelief that crossed Momo's face prevented her from taking a second helping. "What's with that look?"

"You've forgotten already!" Momo hissed near accusingly. "Unbelievable…"

"Eh? Forgot what?"

Sparing a furtive glance at Naruto, the plant princess leaned close to her sister and whispered into her ear. Moments later Nana's blissful cheer dissolved into one of utter dread that wiped the colors completely off her face, leaving behind a much paler complexion. If the blond ninja wasn't busy stuffing his mouth with cream puffs—so he could forget the mystery gel-pastry—he would've asked what spooked her.

"O-Oh, that…" Nana muttered weakly as Momo pulled away. The animal princess avoided meeting her sister's gaze as she reached distractedly for a cream puff. "You know, sis…I-I was thinking. Maybe…maybe we could do it tomorrow? I-I mean, it doesn't seem okay to do it right now with him like this. "She made some odd gestures towards the ninja. "Yea. He looks pretty hungry so, so, uh…"

"Nana," Her sister intoned warningly. "We've been through this before. It's either now or never."

"But Momo, I… " She trailed off pleadingly, her posture showing signs of anxiety as her left hand unconsciously rubbed the side of her arm.

The plant princess wasn't swayed in the least as she folded her arms across her budding chest and affixed her twin with a stern glare. "Unless you want to do this by yourself, sister, I suggest you suck it up."

"Ulp…"

"These are really good." Naruto commented, wiping away some crumbs from his lips. He hadn't realized the two had fallen silent until after draining the rest of his tea. "Ah… Momo, Nana? You two okay?"

"We're fine brother dear." Momo answered, her smile gaining a minor strain. "Nana and I were just wondering if you were enjoying yourself."

"Yea…" The aforementioned girl picked up timidly, stealing glances at her younger twin as she did so. Naruto was able to catch the poorly concealed distress in her eyes. "How do you like your party so far… bro?" She hesitated to say.

"Hmm…" Tilting his head thoughtfully, Naruto withheld from sampling any more sweets to focus on them. Their behavior seemed a little off to him. "Well, the food is great and none of your friends have tried to jump me yet so… yea, I'd say I'm enjoying it. But what do you mean by 'my' party? Are we celebrating something I did?"

"Ah… um, you see. About that…" Nana fumbled for words, forcing Momo to continue in her stead.

"There's a reason why we held this Tea Party, Brother dear." The plant princess confessed uncomfortably, her gaze dropping to the cup of tea she cradled in her hands. "We have something important we wish to discuss with you."

Frowning, he eyed the two of them closely, his mind already making speculations. "… Is there something wrong?"

With a strange look he had trouble placing, the twins exchanged nods and kneeled before him, their heads lowering respectfully. Caught off guard, Naruto merely gaped as questions surfaced with his confusion. Something was definitely wrong here…

"Hey, you two—"

"…were sorry."

Naruto's mouth closed with an audible 'click', unable to voice the rest of his thoughts as time seemed to stand still. Gone was the amiable mood that pervaded the atmosphere around them mere moments ago, seemingly snuffed out like a candle light during a cold winter, and in its place sat an all too familiar and unsettling feeling. If he had a word to describe it with, using his limited pool of vocabulary, it would be something akin to 'remorseful.' A heavy word, but seemingly more appropriate than 'solemn.'

Their conversation had suddenly turned down a dreary path he was hesitant to follow.

"Were sorry," They repeated softly.

The blond ninja's frown of concern grew. He struggled internally to decide whether or not he should simply forgive whatever misdeeds they've done or to listen and judge. He was tempted to do the former but thought better of it after reconsidering the mood.

Sealing his lips shut, Naruto chose to wait it out patiently, his eyes never straying from the crowns of their silky pink hair and the accessories that adorned them, resolutely blocking out the sounds that hovered in the background.

Eventually the mood attracted the attention of Nana's friends and spilled across the clearing, halting activities and quelling petty disputes over meals. The situation was extremely delicate, fragile even, up to the point that breathing became dangerous enough to shatter the moment. It wasn't until the twins broke their stance did some of the tension leak away.

Momo lifted her gaze to meet Naruto's, her somber expression resembling Nana's when the animal princess followed suit. The two had never worn such emotions before in the past months he's known them, and it worsened when the glaze layering their eyes threatened to spill salty tears that he was wholly unprepared for.

It was disheartening to watch.

"Four months…" Momo recounted slowly, her voice unusually subdued. "It's been four months since we snuck into your ship seeking escape and adventure. We came aboard unprepared and without a plan in mind. With just the clothes on our back, a few gadgets we borrowed from sister dearest and only each other for support… we thought we'd be alright by ourselves." A melancholic smile graced her lips. "What a silly thought that was…"

Naruto remained diligently silent, his face carefully neutral so as to not betray his feelings.

"…Bro, do you still remember how you found us?" asked Nana, a glimmer of spark in her eyes. "We were so freezing and hungry then… I almost thought we wouldn't make it. It was really stupid of us to forget our coats, hehe. Thankfully you found us before we could kick the bucket. Whatever blunder you made at that time really got us out of that mess, you know?" She shook her head. "I'm sure you're wondering where I'm going with this, but hear me out for just a bit. I finally got the courage to start this, so let me—us—" Nana corrected, glancing briefly at her sister who nodded in approval. "—try and finish before we lose it."

"Take your time," Naruto said gently. "There's no rush."

The animal princess smiled gratefully as her eyes glistened. "Oh geez, I haven't even gotten there yet and I'm already like this." Scowling somewhat, she hurriedly wiped away the offending tears before they could escape down her cheeks. "Focus, Nana. Focus."

"Do your best, sister." Momo cheered her support as she reached out to rub Nana's back in a comforting manner. The plant princess then turned to regard the concern that Naruto let slip onto his face. She paid it no mind and replied with a smile that didn't quite reach up to her ears. "Brother dear, we had a fair number of adventures together since then, have we not? Starting from big sister's first request, we travelled the galaxy to a world full of wondrous trade and commerce, exploring its majestic cities that towered even the highest spires of our home world, and attracting unwanted attention from those that inhabit its slums. Our time there was as exciting as the mission you accepted afterwards from a friend; to investigate that uncharted system on the outer fringes of father's empire. Though you did not find what you were searching for, the journey itself remained memorable for us."

"A lot more stuff happened after that." Nana continued, her mood showing signs of improvement. She was managing to keep a steady eye contact with him at the very least. "I still remember that one time we stumbled on that deserted world near your system. You and I were so curious about it that we dropped in without a second thought. Yami got soooo mad at us about that, that she didn't come down until a couple days later. I think that was the only time I saw you two argue so seriously. It was kinda scary…" There was a pregnant pause as she recollected her thoughts, absentmindedly stirring her tea with a spoon. "Haa… despite our lesson from that world, we continued to do the same thing over and over. And each time we stopped to check things out, we always brought back something new; artifacts, gifts, treasures—just about anything that caught our eye. Ehehe, we almost ran out of room for them all.

"Anyway, my collection of friends grew and so did my experience. I don't know if you were doing it on purpose, but I was really happy whenever you brought us along to explore. Despite all the protests that everyone gave—the risks of doing something like that on the worlds filled with bad guys and monsters… you still went and did it anyway. For that we thank you, bro. I thank you..."

"And please do not be modest and discredit yourself, brother dear." Momo added firmly, placing a hand over his and giving it a tight squeeze as if telling him to keep listening. "While I admire such a humble trait, I'd rather you forget it in this case. You've done a lot more for us than you think you did; so much in fact that this small token of our gratitude may not be enough to repay you. Please. Just accept it and forgive us for all that we've done to you… and to everyone here."

The Nana's mood darkened considerably as she grit her teeth tightly to stem the tremor that was known to impede one's speech during moments like this.

"We may be young and still inexperience, but even we know what we did was wrong. We got what we wanted, but at what price? For every adventure we had there was an equal number of pain and sacrifice that someone had to carry; some big, some small; some obvious and subtle." She sniffled slightly. "Don't you dare deny it—I know! I'm not stupid. Just because I don't study as much as Momo does doesn't mean I can't pick these stuff up. Out of everyone here, you and Yami made the most sacrifices for us. You took us in from day one without a single complaint and even went as far as giving us your room and whatever else we needed without asking for anything in return. When our adventures began to pick up, you took the role of our guardian—our big bro, protecting us almost every step of the way and treating us with a care and kindness that we never asked for… nor deserved."

"Nana and I had never truly expressed our sincerity and gratitude since then. We held a barrier of insecurity that neither broke nor faded away in the months that followed our intrusion. Even when crisis fell on our feet time and time again, we kept mostly to ourselves, declining you're consoling warmth and faking the bond of friendship we had formed with you and the others. To be honest, we were still very much fearful and unsure of what to do." Momo paused. "Perhaps that was where our emotions were driven into a dark corner alongside our judgment. It was that simple fear we've tasted in the past that forced us to hide ourselves behind masks as a means of protecting ourselves... However—" Her eyes sharpened momentarily at him. "—I think you already knew that… right? Brother dear?"

The blond nearly flinched. He habitually raised a hand to rub the back of his neck as he glanced away in a vain attempt to stem his unease and escape her accusing eyes. It was an utterly fruitless effort wasted on his part for the action alone confirmed her suspicion.

That he knew from the very beginning.

Everyone did, actually. It was no secret to his crew seeing as how most of them had dealt with lies before; the fault of crafty spies being the chief of their experience, but they all made an unspoken agreement to never bring it up unless the twins did.

They were kind that way.

For his part, Naruto took to befriending them regardless of their deceit, and not once did he regret his decision. The twins, while a bit troublesome in some cases, were surprisingly good company to have. With their boundless curiosity and mischief that could match his, life in both inside and outside of the ship had been pretty lively and fun. Excluding the occasional trouble they often got into- and the many adventures that had happened prior to their arrival—those were the best damn months Naruto has ever had since he began his galactic odyssey. Even Yami admitted it, albeit not vocally in front of the others.

"Well, I guess it matters little now. Things have changed and so have we. I believe it was after that harrowing Tomb incident four weeks ago that we realized our error and sought forgiveness." Momo explained thoughtfully. By this point Nana had reined in her emotions enough to listen to her sister's explanation, all the while fiddling with the hem of her skirt timidly, her tea left forgotten. "As you might have suspected, that particular adventure heralded our oddest behavior to date. I'm sure we surprised you with our uncharacteristic cheerfulness when we recovered from that incident. I think the term 'sugar high' that you earthlings use is an appropriate cause for our actions."

Naruto stifled a snort as a small grin plastered his face. "I was actually more disturbed than surprised. Those toy chainsaws and brown bags were a little too much. It doesn't fit you two."

"That was my idea." Nana piped in. "We got it from this poster we picked up on Earth. It was an American advertisement for a festival called Horrorfest. We thought having one was alright."

The blond nearly blanched at the admission. "Yeaaah… definitely too much. Remind me to teach you two more of our culture when we drop by earth because I think you guys are misunderstanding something about our 'festival.'"

"Mm! Sure thing, bro. I'm looking forward to it."

Momo giggled along with her sister before she cleared her throat to reclaim their attention, assuming her previous composure and tone. "Yes, well, that plan aside, we never had the intention of scaring you, brother dear. We simply didn't know how to broach the topic we are discussing now, so we tried various methods that could raise enough concern for you to sit us down somewhere private and listen to our troubles. We succeeded…"

"But still failed." Nana frowned. "We got nervous the moment we got your attention and chickened out with an excuse. We were scared of how you'll react—would you be angry with us? Disappointed because we lied?" Her head lowered meekly as she added. "…maybe you'd hate us?"

"And thus this Tea Party was established." The plant princess concluded, spreading her arms apart to indicate their surroundings. "Peaceful and secluded enough for our purpose, this was the only thing we could think of doing to show our gratitude and confess our lies at the same time. Now that you've heard it all, brother dear, I hope you can forgive our deception. We were wrong to mistrust you all."

Nana followed Momo's example and bowed her head low, small fists pressing hard on her knees. "We're really sorry."

For a very long moment Naruto was silent, his eyes concealed from view by the fringes of his blond hair. Their cowed appearance held plenty of evidence; both twins were anxious beyond words and dreading his response.

So when Naruto raised his hands deftly into the air and brought it down, the two clenched their eyes shut and braced themselves for the inevitable pain to blossom. To their found surprise, they were lifted effortlessly from the ground and brought into a warm embrace, strong arms wrapping around their respective shoulders to place an equally rough hand above their heads.

"You girls are too overdramatic, you know that?" Naruto's baritone voice grazed their ears as he ran his hands soothingly through their hair. This was the best he could do to comfort them from their lingering guilt, and he mentally thanked Lala for the tip. "No need to cry over it, it's all in the past now. Look. You're even spoiling the tea party you two worked hard for."

Momentarily blindsided by his actions, Nana was the first to recover as warmth invaded her cheeks. "W-w-w-what, what- huh? Wha?"

She was having trouble forming coherent sentences while Momo was fairing a little better, craning her head to examine the gentle blue eyes of her surrogate, older brother. The blond ninja had nothing to hide, the answer plainly obvious, and still she wanted to confirm it.

"Brother dear?" She asked tentatively. "Are we by chance… forgiven?"

The blond chuckled. "Yes, Momo. I forgive you two."

"That's it?" The poor animal princess exclaimed incredulously. "No seething anger? No harsh scolding—no overwhelming disappointment? No nothing? You're just gonna let us off like that?"

"Well, yea…" Naruto grinned crookedly at her. "What else were you expecting?"

Nana deflated like a balloon as her head hung low and utterly perplexed. "This is so… so…"

"Unexpected—anti-climactic?" Momo supplied helpfully.

"Yea, those!" Mussing her hair, the twin-tailed princess leaped off the blond's lap and pouted furiously, repeatedly stomping her foot on the ground while the others watched. "What was the point of rehearsing and preparing for the worst this whole time? I was sure you'd be angry or something. Are the others going to be this easy? Gah! I don't know what I'm feeling now..."

Momo giggled as she shifted on Naruto's lap, gleefully seizing the extra space her twin had left behind. The blond ninja had undergone a growth spurt in the past week and allowed her to nestle comfortably against him without worry of obstructing his view. She guided his arm innocently around her waist and was delighted to find his other hand reaching up to stroke her head absently in response as they observed the irate Nana ramble on.

"Your sister's weird," He commented after a lengthy pause. "You'd think she'd be happy about this…"

"She is." Momo assured him, smiling contently as she retrieved her tea and took a relaxing sip. "She's just dissatisfied with the results and unsure of what to do from here. Unlike me who has accepted your decision to forgive and forget, Nana has not. She wishes to atone for her mistakes properly and wouldn't settle for anything less."

"And she plans on doing this for everyone?"

"That's what we decided, yes." Momo said, stressing the word 'we.' "Nana is stubbornly righteous this way."

Naruto blinked up at the animal princess, a far-off look overcoming his eyes. "Huh… guess she's a lot more like me than I thought."

"A little," The plant princess admitted.

Sighing, Naruto ruffled his own hair. "So… what do you think I should do?"

"Honestly?" Momo inquired, averting her gaze to him. When he nodded, her lips curled into a devious smile that rang the proverbial warning bells in his head. "If she desires punishment that badly then allow me to devise and deliver one. I do owe her for several things, after all—oh! But you need not worry, brother dear. I promise it won't be something too… severe, I should say, ufufufu…"

Raising a brow, Naruto wondered if asking her for suggestions was such a good idea. That wicked gleam that appeared with her smile should not belong there!

"… Do I want to know what's going through your head right now?"

"Ufufufu, a whip and a dog leash. We'll need both," The plant princess muttered conspiringly.

"Oooookay... I think I'll make her run laps around the ship or something." He nodded to himself. "She can join me on my routines even. That's always a plus, right? Yep, sounds good to me."

"Awww…" Momo pouted cutely as disappointment carried into her voice. "You're no fun, brother dear. Won't you at least allow me to place a collar on her?"

"No! That's just—"

"WAH!"

Startled by the sudden cry, the two looked up to find Nana surrounded by a pack of her animal friends, her mouth agape with a trembling finger raised accusingly at them. The gesture prompted questions and the oblivious duo found it necessary to examine each other to see what the problem was.

In hindsight they probably shouldn't have done so.

"Oh my..." Momo was the first to react, instantly clasping her cheeks with both hands as undisguised amusement danced across her red face. "Skipping first base? You certainly work fast, brother dear."

Apparently at some point during their conversation, Momo had accidentally led Naruto's hand a little too close to her forbidden garden while he in turn dropped his other arm—the one he used to stroke her head with—to wrap securely around her frame, unknowingly cupping her left bosom. They realized this a little too late and could only watch in muted horror (mainly Naruto) as Nana's friends parted like a wave to allow their owner through.

The flames in her eyes were unmistakably full of burning fury.

"Crap…" They voiced simultaneously, one in monotone while the other in a hint of panic.

"What are you two doing!?" Nana all but thundered, practically diving towards them in a tackle.

A man of action and instinct by nature, Naruto reacted by tossing Momo into the air, pointedly ignoring her yelp of alarm as he directed Nana in the same fashion, smoothly jumping to his feet and swinging the animal princess upwards with both arms. He had acted so quickly, appearing as an absolute blur of motion to their eyes, that by the time the twins could comprehend what happened they were back on his lap and seated in the same position as before.

They were dazed for only briefly, and not soon after regaining her wits did Nana bury her fist deeply into his face, drawing a wince from Momo and a roar of approval from the rest of their furry/scaly audience.

"Ow…"

"That better hurt!" Nana growled as she glared up at him, his nose steadily reddening. Though her punch hadn't outright sent him flying back—Devilukian strength, especially those of the royal family, was nothing to sneeze at—she was at least gratified to see small tears well up from the corner of his eyes, reassuring her that he felt it real good. "Perverts like you deserve a good beating, especially those that target my little sister! Be grateful that I'm even giving you a chance to explain yourself."

"Then let me explain BEFORE you hit me," Naruto retorted tersely. However, his mood softened when the younger twin withdrew a handkerchief from the pockets of her skirt and wiped away the blood that had leaked from his nose. "Thanks Momo."

"Mm." Nodding in satisfaction, the plant princess rounded on her equal and frowned disapprovingly. "Nana, I've stated this many times before: inciting violence is unbecoming of a princess."

"But he was groping you all over!" The older twin argued heatedly, palming the blond's already abused face and eliciting a grunt of pain from him in the process. "You can't expect me to simply gawk and do nothing!"

"It was a complete misunderstanding." Momo responded calmly.

"Listen to your little sister, she's telling the truth." The blond nodded sagely in agreement… and received another palm to the face in response. That was strike three. "Ow."

"You be quiet!"

"If only you've taken the time to consider listening to us—" Momo continued as if the interruption hadn't occurred, "—then you would understand that our state of indecency was accidental and held no underlying intentions. Brother dear has done nothing wrong and shouldn't warrant such abuse." She reasoned before pausing in sudden thought. Her cheeks suddenly regained its flushed color from earlier as her expression turned bashful, further punctuated by the action of tapping her index fingers together. "…I'd admit, however, that if such a thing were to happen, it would have been completely consensual and need neither your concern nor interference whatsoever." She coughed daintily into her hand to close her statement.

The world around them bore the sounds of crickets in the distance way before the youngest princess finished her last line. Naruto and Nana wore the expressions of gaping fishes deprived of water while the surrounding creatures looked on in silent curiosity, gathering near enough to witness the throng of emotions slowly cracking the stupefied masks the former two wore. Realization dawned on Momo not soon after, and she nervously peered at her sister and Naruto.

"I've said something careless haven't I, brother dear?"

"Yes. Yes you did."

She winced.

"…"

As Nana's head turned mechanically toward him, Naruto reluctantly met her halfway, his mind screaming obscenities over his damnable luck today and Momo's untimely lack of tack. The apologetic look the plant princess sent him did very little in providing comfort from her older sister's risen ire.

"Bro?"

"Yes Nana?" He answered tightly.

"Just die."

Suppressing the urge to groan, Naruto closed his eyes in resignation and rested his forehead against the side of Momo's as Nana unleashed her horde of overtly thrilled animals with a snap of her fingers, unknowingly spurring the hidden Brawlers and Enforcers into action. Although greatly outnumbered by a 3 to 1 odd in favor of the enemy, the armored humanoids burst forth from the colorful foliage of the surrounding garden and brought their respective weapons to bare, raining azure chains and concussive warning-shots as they descended upon their would-be foes. Nana's pets welcomed the challenge with a roar as they channeled their bestial rage and charged wildly in retaliation, eager to sink their teeth into something and let instinct take control.

As a battle erupted on all sides, one that involved the complete destruction of the cheery blossom trees among other things, Naruto couldn't help but voice the one thought that was certainly being entertained by the twins. "So much for the Tea Party..."

---

From her place among a jungle of plates, wires and circuits of a dismantled invention, Lala brushed aside a lock of pink hair that had gotten in the way of her work as a pink tongue poked out from her lips, curling upwards simultaneously with the wrench she was using to tighten the lose bolt. The device she had been working on for over a year now was nearing its completion, and the last a few inches was the deciding factor of its success or failure.

Moments passed very slowly before a gentle 'clink' sounded across the room, stilling Lala's hand instantly. Wetting her lips, the pink haired inventor gently placed her tool down to carefully inspect her work, emerald eyes scanning crucial points that were likely to cause problems. When she found no flaws, she pulled down a rectangular, glass screen from above her and held it over her invention.

Using the x-ray function of the screen, Lala delved into the spherical shape that was her device and examined its inner mechanics, pinpointing key junctions of tiny wires and primary circuits designed for specific tasks. All the parts appeared to be in the right place and not a hint of damage could be seen. She smiled in satisfaction and removed the screen from view, bringing the device she dubbed "Wonder Wonder Ball-kun" up like trophy as she leaped up to cheer in victory.

"Yay~! I finished!"

Somewhere in the gaping darkness of her workshop, a tall iron door creaked open, flooding the room with a bright light that shined with the glory of the sun. Lala's ever loyal companion Peke emerged from within it and floated purposefully inside, carrying a particular pink-disk on one hand and a white bottle of milk in the other. She paid no mind to the mess of metal and plastic that cluttered around her and simply navigated through the corridors, swiveling her head from side to side in search of her master.

"Princess Lala." She called. "I've brought the milk and map you requested."

Though her voice echoed far into the darkness, not a single reply came; only the sound of her master's loud cheering that came from a distance further down. She sighed and tried once more, switching her vocal processors to speaker-mode in hopes of being heard.

"Princess Lala, I'm here. Where are you?"

A reaction came this time and the ceiling lights flickered on, granting her vision over the path she had wandered along. The tall shelves of books and inventions that ran parallel in front of her were a sign that she was close to one of her master's studies. Unfortunately, Peke knew that the cheery inventor wouldn't be inside any of them. Her master's voice had come from above.

Turning to the opposite direction, the dress-bot weaved through a maze of shelves and boxes until she came across the only elevator leading to the second floor. She swiped her tiny hand over the holo-keys that flickered into existence and stepped into the circular platform as it thrummed to life and carried her up. Surprisingly, her master awaited her at the very top, the pinkette's expression matching that of a child who's gotten an early present as she swept the dress-bot into her arms and dance around in wild circles, unmindful of the valuables that hung dangerously loose from her invention's flailing hands.

"Peke~!" Her master cried out excitedly. "I did it, I did it! I finally finished Wonder Wonder Ball-kun~!"

"Calm down, Princess Lala!" Peke squeaked frantically, fighting against the smothering embrace she found herself in. "Your drink! Your drink is spilling!"

Instead of heeding her warning, her master rushed back into the room she had used and slammed the door shut behind her. Peke was then relieved of her burden and placed on top of the worktable as the Deviluke heiress brought her latest invention out from its resting place within a secure, glass container.

Rising to her feet, the dress-bot waddled closer to it and reached out with a hand, feeling the smooth outline of its shell and a cold, tingling sensation. Unlike the many inventions that had come before it, this one did not have any defining features except for the small bolt that it stood upon and the jagged lines that ran in a ring around its circumference. Aside from those and it's shiny, platinum color of the likes Peke has never seen before, her master's newest creation was plainly lacking in the creative-design department.

"If I may ask, Princess Lala, but what does this device actually do?"

"Don't know~." The Deviluke heiress replied all too cheerfully, taking a seat in front of her favorite computer and placing the pink disk a top a jotting needle. Peke nearly stumbled off the edge of the worktable at the answer while her master popped the lid open on her drink and eagerly chugged a decent amount before wiping her mouth clean and spinning around to speak. "It just came to me in a dream I had when I first met Naruto~. The blueprints were imprinted in my mind since then and wouldn't go away until I finally got it down on paper. I'm not even sure what it is."

"So you invented something completely unknown?"

"Mm~." Her master nodded and glanced at the platinum sphere. "I do have some theories regarding its purpose, but I'll need to gather some data first and run a few preliminary tests to make sure it's safe to use. It should be interesting~!"

"I'm not so certain about that." Peke voiced her concern as she backed away from the platinum object and floated over to her master's side, perching atop the armrest of the black, leather seat. "Perhaps you should leave those tasks to your father's scientists. Their laboratories are equipped with instruments suited to handle your inventions. It'll be safer for you that way."

"No thanks~. My lab is perfectly fine." The Deviluke heiress waved her hand dismissively as she faced the large monitor of her computer. "More importantly, help me with this."

"But..." A defeated sigh. "Oh, very well. What would you like me to do?"

Her master glanced around and pointed at the side. "Use the terminal over there and plug in that cord—no, not the green one, silly. It's the black one with our insignia. Yea, that."

Following her instructions to the letter, Peke activated the terminal next and watched as the boot menu opened up, followed closely by several security prompts. She punched in the necessary access codes and the screen expanded to accommodate two large windows. One was filled with data cascading in a neat line while the other held a bar-graph and map of the Deviluke System.

Slightly confused, Peke looked to her master for an explanation. The Deviluke heiress didn't respond as she withdrew a familiar white bracelet from the drawer beside her desk and plugged in a small cord into an available socket before connecting it to the terminal. A tiny, blue light winked on the device and brought a third window on the screen.

"Good. Good." Her master clapped her excitedly before returning to her own work, bringing up a list of star systems and a pair of charts Peke couldn't identify. "Okay~, now we just need to find the right place and..."

"Princess Lala, what are all these for exactly?" The dress-bot finally asked.

"Research."

"Researh?" Peke echoed questioningly. "What type of research?"

"That's a secret~." Lala winked. "I'll tell you once I'm finished."

Not one to prod her creator like an annoying child, Peke tried another question. She picked up the bracelet next to her and inspected the black DX label printed underneath it. "And how about this? Why have you brought this out?"

"Oh nothing~" Her master hummed as her hands danced across the blinking screen. She didn't even look at the dress-bot when she replied. "I'm just calibrating its warp settings."

Peke felt a drop of anxiety form within her conscience. She cast a suspicious glance at her creator then back at her own screen. Rapid numbers and various formulas ran through the bluish windows as coordinates to an unspecified location lit up in a dark yellow box.

The blinking blue light suddenly turned a bright green.

"You aren't planning to go somewhere are you?"

Lala flashed a big smile at her direction and retrieved the small bracelet, unplugging the other device afterwards. The answer dawned on Peke right then.

"You are," She moaned. "Not again!"

---

Yami was an intellectual girl as much as she was a deadly assassin. Though her life was a tragedy filled with a series of steep hurdles the size of mountains and equally bottomless pits of despair threatening to swallow her whole, Yami had her freedom. Obtained from a war fought in the sinister shadows of an organization, with her savior offering a second chance at life through blood stained hands, she found her purpose and donned her fearsome epithet 'Golden Darkness.'

For an assassin, it was not only a fitting name that gained her notoriety throughout the galaxy, but also an appropriate one that spoke of more than just her appearance and presence in the battlefield. It was her individuality—her crafted identity that she carefully constructed after many harsh trials that came before her liberation from the darkness. And it was this that allowed her to rediscover the joys of reading books and to seek the warm light that she had once experienced as a child long ago.

When enemies spoke her name, they feared and fled. But when scholars heard her name, they smiled and welcomed her with open arms. To those who derive pleasure from imparting knowledge onto others, Yami was the brightest student that any teacher could ever hope for. With an abundance of potential and thirst for learning, she soaked their teachings like a sponge and was granted the feeling of prideful accomplishment. The vast arsenal of books Yami acquired throughout her voyage across the stars was also a testament to her devotion and willingness to further her education. Not a single library or bookstore was left overlooked, and Yami made it a habit of visiting the academic grounds of many worlds that she passed through on her missions. It was the one thing that kept her mind stable and stress-free during those days her work became too heavy to bare.

The life of an assassin was cold and utterly lonesome, after all. Every day had brought missions teeming with danger and bounties for shady characters that many contractors would find unpleasant to associate with. Yami could not count how many times she's walked into danger just to dance with Death itself, all for the purpose of earning money from corrupt government officials of a nation or an equally treacherous arms-dealer from the black-market. More often than not she had to confront her employers when they failed to fulfill their end of a deal. Collecting her pay and disposing their bodies was both tedious and tiresome to do, but she persevered nonetheless and kept her eyes firmly forward, hoping for a reprieve.

Yami had long ago accepted the sins she committed in the past. The blood of the innocent and impure alike had already bathed her body way before her moral compass can point her on the right direction. The guilt weighed heavily on her and she sealed her emotions away, chaining them into her heart and tossing away the key to its lock as her work grew increasingly stressful. Yami had no one to confine in, most of those who she considered allies or family being too out of reach, and thus she roamed the darkness of space alone with just her ship and books as company. Time passed very slowly because of this, and her life inevitably became a windup toy that functioned on negativity, complete with a repetition of killing, voyaging, and reading in short, crisp order. The cycle had not ceased until fortune finally smiled at her one day and introduced a human boy named Uzumaki Naruto; a self-proclaimed ninja, her partner in crime… and best friend.

And thus we arrive at the present time where the young Golden Darkness was administering first-aid on a disgruntled blond ninja. Despite working with him for over a year and half now, he never ceased to amaze her with his uncanny knack for extracting trouble from the simplest of things. For example, how could he turn an easy task such as surveillance into a full-blown battle in just under twenty minutes? Yami had been certain that the extra security she provided him with would prevent problems from arising, or at the very least suppress those that would escalate into violence.

What a terrible miscalculation that was.

"When I said to watch them carefully, I didn't think it would be you who needed to be watched," She muttered monotonously as she affixed a band-aid roughly across his wounded brow. "What exactly possessed you to wage a miniature war with Nana's animals? Within the Garden no less…"

"It couldn't be helped! They were practically begging for one from the start," He argued defensively. "And… and, well, Nana kinda needed to vent some steam after what I did." He scratched the side of his cheek awkwardly and resisted the urge to flinch away from the stinging medicinal-gel that she was now applying across his neck. "Uh, by the way… is this really necessary? You know I heal pretty fast, so these should all be gone by tomorr-OH KAMI-SAMA!—be a little more gentle, Yami-chan! It hurts!"

His plea fell on deaf ears as Yami smeared the gel over the remaining cuts, intentionally rubbing hard on a few of them under the pretext of cleaning it thoroughly. The colorful curses that flooded out of his mouth were like music to her ears as her attention shifted to his arms where another portfolio of wounds awaited her.

It was evident that her partner had acted reckless once again and engaged a battle without using any form of protection. The large claw marks decorating his skin a hideous, red color undoubtedly belonged to one of Nana's many bear companions—a very formidable one at that, if it managed to wound Naruto to this extent. She frowned distastefully and dug through her med-kit for a more effective salve.

"This would have been much easier to deal with if you had used the chamber." She told him as she squeezed a green layer of liquid onto a cloth. "Five minutes is all it takes."

"I didn't want to bother Mikado-sensei about it when she's already asleep. Besides, I told you I hate that thing. Why do you keep bringing it up?" Naruto pouted, scrunching his face to show just how much he abhorred that option. A second later, he bit back a hiss of pain when one particular laceration was doused a handful of disinfectant. "Oi! That burns like hell! You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?!"

Yami refused to answer, instead the corner of her lips twitched upwards.

"Yami-chan!"

Fortunately for the blond ninja the rest of the treatment ended with painkillers and a careful application of gauze. The process took only several minutes to complete and Yami was soon storing her med-kit in the compartment underneath her bed.

As she rose up to check the time, hunger gnawed at her stomach, instinctively seeking the tray of food she had requested earlier. She found them sitting atop a crate beside the entrance to their room and quickly brought them over to the lone coffee table.

Due to the mayhem that occurred in the Botanical Gardens, Yami had been swiftly notified and forced to abandon her dinner, placing her order of pork ramen on hold for an indefinite time. Unfortunately, she hadn't taken into account how difficult resolving the matter would be and ultimately forgot all about it after seeing the wanton destruction Naruto and princess Nana's little war had wrought. The garden wasn't a very pretty picture of nature anymore and princess Momo had been very upset with the two.

Sighing inwardly at the additional repairs they'll need to include in their long list of chores, Yami called Naruto over as she placed a bowl of ramen in the opposite side of the table and a similar one in front of her. The blond ninja hadn't eaten anything apart from a few desserts the Devilukian princesses provided during the tea party and so, in spite of her better judgment, Yami took pity on him and ordered his favorite dish along with hers.

"Mmm-hmm, Miso ramen. You're the best Yami-chan!" He chirped happily, previous nuisances forgotten as he clapped his hands together in a quick prayer and uttered: "Itadakimasu (thank you for the meal)!" before digging in.

Well… he tried to anyway.

"Eh?" Perking a brow, Yami watched her partner struggle to hold his chopsticks up. He got as far as a foot above the table before gravity claimed his arm and dropped it like a rock. He examined his heavily bandaged limbs and looked up at her with a nervous expression. "Um, Yami-chan? My arms just locked up. I can't feel them… is that normal?"

Yami nearly face-palmed upon recalling the after-effects of the anesthetic she had applied last. According to the fine print she read, they differed from other medicinal salves in that the numbness was vastly superior in quality and guaranteed to last awhile, as demonstrated by her partner whose face was showing increasing signs of worry.

"It's normal." She confirmed coolly, already contemplating her options to help him. "It'll be awhile before you regain your limbs though. I'm estimating between twenty-minutes at the minimum, assuming that your natural healing factor functions as it should, to roughly an hour at most. If not…"

"You're kidding…" Her partner muttered in disbelief as she trailed off. "How am I supposed to eat like this then?"

"I… will assist you with that." Manipulating her long blonde hair into a pair of sculpted arms, Yami plucked the chopsticks from his grasp and expertly picked up a few strands of noodles for him to eat. "Don't expect me to feed you at your usual pace. I prefer not to make a mess of my hair if I can help it."

As an intellectual, proper etiquette was a given and Yami had long since grown accustomed to her partner's eating habit. However, that did not mean she wouldn't enforce proper etiquette when given the opportunity. Seeing as how he's rendered helpless; handicapped by his impaired arms, this would be one of those times.

Naruto came to the same conclusion and sighed dejectedly. "…Right. Fair enough."

Leaning forward with his mouth open, Naruto awkwardly accepted the first bite, the submissive manner inflaming his cheeks into notable levels. Who gets hand-fed like this these days? He's not a child damn it!

Yami shared similar feelings of embarrassment, albeit for reasons she couldn't fathom. She found herself strangely conscious of the situation and it showed in the way her cheeks colored a pinkish hue and her posture straightened by a small fraction. Focusing on her own ramen had helped, but her impassive expression was the one saving grace that masked her behavior.

"Say, Yami-chan…"

"Yes?" She replied stiffly in monotone.

Swallowing another mouthful of diced veggies that was included in the ramen, Naruto licked his lips and continued. "About those two, Momo and Nana… did you get the chance to hear their confession while I was down there?"

She nodded slowly. "I overlooked it earlier, but the twins managed to disable the audio systems during their preparations. I had to instruct one of the Brawlers to record the conversations that took place."

"And?" He prompted as his brows rose expectantly.

"… Your punishment is sufficient enough," She answered, taking a moment to chew her food before continuing. "What they've done does not concern me very much. They are, for the most part, your responsibility and so should affect you more so than anyone here. "

"I know that," He said as his shoulders slackened in relief. "But I'm glad to hear you're not mad at them or anything… otherwise I'd need to play mediator later. Fun stuff that'll be."

Yami paused from her bowl of pork ramen to look up, forcing Naruto to do the same. He whined pitifully at his noodles being returned to the bowl as Yami's additional 'hands' withdrew the chopsticks. "I'm not shallow enough to rebuke them harshly for petty reasons, Naruto."

"Never thought you would, Yami-chan." If he could, Naruto would've raised his arms in an appeasing manner. "I was just pulling your leg there."

Her gaze turned skeptical.

"Honest!" The blond ninja insisted, bobbing his head convincingly for effect when she seized his bowl and held it away. "I swear, Yami-chan! Please, can I have my ramen back now? I only had a few bites!"

After a moment of intense staring, Yami relented and resumed feeding him as she returned to her own meal. She had intended to eat in silence, giving her partner the cold shoulder as an attempt at humor, but didn't get that chance when Naruto's orange communicator chirped out a resonating beeping sound, the metallic petals unfolding to reveal a blinking pink light at its center.

"Hmm? Lala-chan?" The blonde questioned aloud, sparing a quick glance at the digital watch atop his desk. "I wonder what she wants."

Wordlessly, Yami extended another of her 'hands' and brought the device over to their table, switching it on at the same time. Placing their food aside, they focused on the pink holo-screen that manifested between them, displaying the beautiful image of Deviluke's first princess: Lala Saten Deviluke, and her ever present smile.

"Naruto~, Yami~! Hellooo!" She chirped in greeting, a hand waving energetically in front of her.

"Princess." Yami nodded curtly while Naruto offered a friendly grin, his arms still too useless to do much else.

"Sup, Lala-chan. Need something?"

The beautiful princess started to speak, but stopped shortly upon seeing what they were in the middle of.

"Oops~! Looks like I caught you two at a bad time," She observed, sticking her tongue out cutely whilst rubbing the back of her head. "Should I call back later?"

Yami's eyes sought Naruto's. She personally did not mind having extra company and neither did he for that matter, but they made it a habit to confirm simple decisions that required both their consent. Naruto saw this signal and returned with a subtle nod.

"Nah, it's all good, we don't mind." He said, flashing Lala a welcoming smile. "I'd ask you to join us, but you're too far away to do that, hehe."

Lala giggled along. "It's okay~, I had dinner already."

"So what's up? I wasn't expecting you till later tonight. Something happen over there?"

"Nope~" Twirling a lock of hair with a finger, Lala leaned to the side to pull Peke into her arms. The infant dress-bot waved a lazy 'hello' at them as soon as she was in full view. "I finished my studies ahead of schedule so I got nothing else to do. I was wondering if we could start the 'bed-time story' a little early. It's past 8 here already and I'm bored, right Peke~?"

"That you are, princess Lala." The dress-bot sounded mildly annoyed as she folded her small arms together. "Not only did you prank your tutors in between lessons, you even invented several new gadgets today; one of which, might I add, you plan to use for—Gooheek!"

"Ahaha, silly Peke~!" The eldest princess laughed, wrestling to cover her struggling invention's nonexistent mouth. "Don't mind her. She's just cranky from the new scanning-program I installed earlier."

The dress-bot let out a muffled protest as she was shoved aside with Lala following right behind her. There was some scolding on the princess's part and a random explosion in the background before Lala returned to the screen, her appearance slightly frazzled. Peke emerged an instant later to block her out.

"Peke~!"

"Bed time story?" Yami repeated, ignoring Lala and her invention's antics in favor of turning an inquisitive eye on the blond ninja.

Naruto chuckled embarrassedly, his head dipping slightly forward in reflex. "It's a little something I promised her that I'd do starting today."

"Yep~! Naruto's going to talk about his adventures." Lala enthused while partially smoothing the wrinkles of her white gown. Peke was nowhere to be seen. "You should join us, Yami. It'll be fun~!"

"…That's a good idea." Naruto agreed after a moment. "Yea… you could even help narrate my story. There'll be some things I need help explaining anyways."

Yami pondered silently. To sleep… or not to sleep, that was the question. Although she held strict standards as an assassin that remained present to this day, Yami was also a young, curious maiden who enjoyed a good story. Between Lala's dazzlingly animated eyes and Naruto's equally supportive grin, the choice was pretty obvious.

"Alright," Yami said quietly. "I'll join."

She supposed that little orange book she found a few days ago can wait a little longer…

---

When Yami returned to the room, fresh out of the showers and dressed in a black nightgown, it was to find her partner seated on a chair facing her bed where a trio of Princesses sat huddled together, garbed in pajamas of their respective colors with fluffy pillows held tightly within their arms. The presence of the Deviluke siblings was unexpected and Yami found herself pausing by the entrance to consider the situation. A swift observation of the room revealed what transpired during her absence.

There was a cake and an odd spherical object lying atop the table; two clues to tell the story. Utilizing some sort of warp-traveling-device that only a prodigious inventor was capable enough to make, princess Lala teleported into their room with the intention of experiencing Naruto's story in person. Not long after that did the twins show up with a cake to make amends and discuss further topics of interest. The Deviluke siblings reunited in a touching hug, to which her partner was forcefully included, and an idea was brought up by the eldest Princess.

The resulting agreement upgraded Naruto's earlier promise into a slumber party with her bed serving as the central hub for their storytelling activity.

Assuming that as the most logical explanation to the present circumstances, Yami approached her bed without further delay, casually stepping over the few sleeping bags lying on the floor as she exchanged pleasantries with her fellow bedmates. She then gathered a pillow into her arms, found a comfortable place to Nana's right, and mimed the girls in staring at Naruto, her expression unreadable.

"Have you started yet?" She asked.

"Nope. Was waiting on you." Naruto answered. True to her prediction, he regained the use of his arms within the hour and was now happily giving them a good stretch; flexing muscles and loosening joints.

"We were actually debating which story he should start with." Momo stated, hesitantly turning away from her surrogate brother's distracting movements to address Yami. "I personally would like to hear about the success of the mysterious Gold Team that appeared in the 'DreadZone' games. That had been a very popular show that was broadcasted on several of our systems awhile back with Deviluke being one of the few subscribers up to the third season. It's a pity I didn't get the chance to see the fourth release before it was shut down by the new management. I wonder what could've caused such an abrupt end…"

Nana pursed her lips. "Yea, it was a good show while it lasted. Even had dad buy all three seasons on HD. We should watch it again some time," She grinned at her twin. "But hey, I think hearing about bro saving big sis during a jungle war sounds way more fun, yea? All that action and firefights I've heard about it. What was it again, bro? Insect swarms and evil fleets of deathseekers? It was one of those two… I think. Or was it both?"

Bewildered, the aforementioned blond shrugged at her rapid questions.

"…Did that one involve meeting a certain Gothic Witch by any chance?" The plant princess inquired curiously. "I'll agree to hear it if so."

"Doubt it. Big sis wasn't with them then. I think bro mentioned something about meeting her when it was still just him and Yami."

"Hmm…"

An energetic hand shot into the air from between the twins. Lala, dressed in a pink pajama that Peke provided, looked like an eager student waiting to volunteer an answer. Naruto grinned and extended his index finger at while playfully rolling his eyes. Yami deduced that the he had done this several times already and was humoring the princess by acting the part of a teacher.

"Go ahead Ms. Deviluke. What do you have in mind?"

"Mm~! Tell me a story about the planets you and Yami-chan visited before I tagged along. There was this one called… 'Rock'? I think it was…?" She tapped a finger to her lips in deep thought. "I can't remember the name or system it was in, but you got me some great materials from there; high quality ores that helped me a lot on advancing my inventions. I want to know what kind of place it was—the life it had, if any."

"Uh…" Naruto's eyes briefly spied Yami's ruby orbs before it slid over to meet Lala's emerald ones. "Can u give us a little more detail, Lala-chan?"

"Mm…."The Deviluke heiress shook her head apologetically. "Sorry, I can't remember much else."

Frowning slightly, both Yami and Naruto wracked their brains for an answer. With such a vague description to work with, and over countless worlds they've ventured across by this point, the two freelancers could very well take the entire evening just sorting through their memories. They shook their heads negatively at that thought.

"Forgive us, princess." Yami said. "But I cannot recall any planets called 'Rock.'"

"Some of the ores you're talking about probably came from asteroid fields we mined during our travels. Either that or one of the Galactic Trade Ports around your Empire." Naruto chimed in. "But if you're really curious about it... I'll see if I can do a little digging later. Maybe one of the Planet-Archives Yami-chan's been working on lately will have it."

Lala chirped cheerfully in reply. "Thanks Naruto~!"

"Make sure to tell me when you plan to use my archives," Yami said, leveling a stern eye on him. "I'm in the process of organizing them by population for research purposes. It'll take a couple hours of filing and processing the previous planets we've logged before you can access the rest."

Naruto nodded in understanding and made a mental note of it for later. He didn't want to mess with one of her few hobbies if he could help it. "Sure thing, Yami-chan. I'll try to remember that."

The twins, who had been chatting quietly by themselves, rejoined the conversation with matching smiles. The three oldest of the group couldn't help but raise questioning brows as Naruto tilted his head to the side and leaned forward as far as his chair would allow.

"I take it you two finally decided on something?" He asked them, resting his chin atop the backrest. "Let's hear it."

Momo beamed as she spoke. "We figured that since we'd hear about the events in due time, brother dear—"

"—we decided to go in chronological order and start from the very beginning." Nana concluded with a toothy grin.

"That's a great idea," Lala approved as she roped them into a hug. "I haven't really asked much about what earth is like, even though I've been there once. It'll be good to know."

"What do you think, Yami-chan?" Naruto asked, diverting everyone's attention to the quiet assassin. "Sound good to you?"

To start at the very beginning? Huh, that was exactly what Yami was thinking…

"Go for it."

"Alrighty then!" The blond grinned cheekily and waved his hands in commanding gestures. "Get comfy girls and get set." The quartet of alien females shuffled around Yami's bed to lie on their stomachs, hugging their pillows underneath their chins as enchanted eyes followed Naruto along. "I'll be spinning a story that you'll never forget."

Naruto winked as the twins and Lala giggled at his intentional— or unintentional—rhyme. He flourished his bandaged hands dramatically and unfolded nine familiar scrolls on the floor; special items to help with his story. If memory serves them right, and those were what they thought they were, Yami and the Deviluke siblings were in for quite a story.

"Just so you know, this is a first for me," He confessed. "I've never had experience with telling stories before—much less long ones—so Yami-chan agreed to help out at some point. Bear with me until then."

They acknowledged with a nod as he drew breath …

"It all started back on Earth…"

As his narration began, Yami's eyes glazed over in recollection. Time slowly winded back its giant hands as old memories resurfaced. The puzzle she had started piecing together not long ago finally found some pieces to work with, and it all came from the most peculiar words Naruto uttered next.

"On the sandy beaches of an island nation… I fell from the sky."

---

~ Unknown chapter end ~

---

A/N: Greetings my readers! Hope you had a nice read. To any of you who had read my "Campione di Mafia" fanfic for KHR, I mentioned that I would revive a certain fic collecting dust on the bottom of my story listing. Well, here it is.

I'm sure you have plenty of questions in mind, but I ask that you limit it to conjectures and merely take this fic with a grain of salt. I will address a few now so hopefully that will sate most of you.

0.) Confused? Yea, you should be. But I hope you enjoyed nonetheless.

1.) This fic will have an infrequent update speed. Although I have an idea of where I'm going with this, I'm not sure if I will continue...

2.) Brawlers and Enforcers... yes, they are OCs that I will include in this story. I've given a mountain of clues as to what elements I've given to Naruto's position and how it'll play out in all this, so I hope you guys can simply enjoy the read and await an update. I will provide data and illustrations for them.

3.) Honorifics... they are intentional. My head is not screwed on correctly right now so I'm not sure what my other reasons for doing this. Just know they have a purpose.

4.) Pairings... It's up for debate. I do have a pairing (or two) in mind, given some hints too, but I'm curious as to what you readers like and the reasons for the couple(s). I want details if you can give it. Makes my decisions a bit easier to balance out.

5.) Where does this take place? Well, honestly, it's sorta AU for Naruto, but not for TLR. Right now, the story is Pre-TLR in terms of timeline and... and... brain fart, I don't know what else. I need sleep rofl!

6.) Will Naruto be a Badass? Yep, awesomely so! It'll take awhile to develop him though.

7.) I noticed a lot of anime/ sci-fi game hints... are you including them into this? Yes, I am. I've got about 5 series in mind... most of it using just characters and certain elements, but the rest are pretty damn plot related—and very important.

8.) I know that I'm not the first one to have done this, but I just thought I'd join in on the "Space series" rather than the high school one. I like adventure and action so those will be the main focus of this story. If you like those two... join me xD!

9.) OOCness? Yea... but I thought they'd fit somewhat. Momo's sophisticated speech somehow suits her in my mind... and well, this is my fic... I just have to make you guys see it my way.

Now, a shout out to fellow author Duckboy2000.

"Sup bro! I'm here :D! Hope this will give you some inspiration to update your's soon! No rush, but I'm eager for the next installment."

Okay... I'm gonna read "Naruto Genkyouien" now. I'm glad he updated T-T!

Later guys!

P.S. Don't expect long chapters (17k is very long in my opinion). This is probably the only exception.

Oh, read and review! :D