Dear Juliet,

Alright, I suppose I'll just start from the beginning . . . .

They say that the glory of first love is frighteningly, passionately, devastatingly forceful and pure, and it never goes away. And, from my experience, they are absolutely right.

My very first love, Edward, was everything I had hoped for in a man, and in just a few months I was absolutely, with my entire being, head over heals in love with him.

Then, just a few months after we met, and even fewer since we started dating, he did something that tragically flawed our perfect love story, and would later on in our lives cause a violent path of destruction and pain for everyone, he left.

He refused to carry on a long distance relationship with me when he moved, he just ended it completely, telling me that I was no good for him and he didn't want me to come with him. Which I offered - begged - to do.

A few months later, after undescribable pain and a zombie-like depression, I befriended Jacob.

Jacob is a long time family friend, and both our parents where overjoyed over our new-found friendship, especially since he was bringing me out of my depression and making me feel more like me again. More like me than I had in a long time.

In a twisted turn of events, and one huge count of stupidity on my part, Edward had gotten the wrongful information that I had committed suicide and died, and was going to try to kill himself.

And though I knew the dangers of going to stop him - possibly even deadly - I went. Because I found that, even through all that, I still loved him, and I had never stopped.

Now that they're both back in my life, they have engaged in an all-out war over my love.

Edward is my first love, the one that can make me laugh, cry, and just feel like no one else can. He knows me like no one else does, and a piece of my heart will always belong to him, no matter what.

Jacob is one of my best friends. Next to Alice, Edward's adopted stood by me in the darkest time of my life. He held me while I cried and sobbed and gave up on everything - myself included. He stepped back and let me stumble around a little before I could actually stand on my own. He never gave up on me, even when everyone else did. He did leave me for a time while Edward was away, but it was for my own good. (By the way Edward left and broke it off for my own good too, he never wanted to leave me.) Now he's so sure he's in love with me, the problem is, I don't know how I feel about him.

I mean, my first time falling in love was an automatic, Cinderella, sweep-you-off-your-feet kind of thing. If this is love, could it be that Jacob's is much slower and not as intense?

And so that brings me to Italy, my homeland, so I can think not about what Edward wants, or what Jacob wants, or what my family wants. But to, for once in my life, focus solely on what I want.

That is why I'm writing to you, I don't know what I want.

An elder in my family told me "Find the key to your heart. Then you can unlock your true self ." But, what is the key to my heart? Is it a person? A thing? How do I 'unlock' my heart? What do his words even mean, anyway?

Oh, Juliet, what do I do?

Love,

Isabella

Like it? Love it? Hate it? Wondering if I'm possessed or not? (On a side note: I'm not.) Review! Review! Review! By the way, that first story I talked about on my profile is still on it's way. (And it's better than this one!)