Warm and comforting was the water in her bath, pale green eyes locked on the torrent spilling out of the faucet near her feet. Absentmindedly, she lifted her left foot out from below the surface of the churning water, allowing the flow to fall directly onto her toes. She thought for a moment if the force of it would chip the blue nail polish, but immediately denounced this thought as ridiculous. The water pressure wasn't even that high, and she found herself shaking her head at herself for thinking something so stupid. I must be exhausted… to think water like that could chip my nail polish. With another small shake of her head, she reached her foot up and pushed the lever of the faucet back into the wall, halting the flow of water to nothing but sporadic drops.
Lowering her foot back down, the rest of her body sunk with it, until the clear water reached right below her chin. Her mind and body exhausted, she gazed upon the rippling form of her nude body, slowly coming to the realization that she did not put any soap in her water for bubbles. Turning her head to the right a bit, she saw the bottle sitting on the edge of the white tub. As she gazed upon it, the contents hidden by the thick peach colored bottle, she couldn't help but to think it almost looked emaciated. Its middle section was sunken in, and the opening of the bottle, which had lost its cap long ago, even tilted to one side slightly.
The depressing sight of the bottle reminded her of how she felt, hollow and starving. Slowly, and with what she felt could be her last bit of strength, she reached for the bottle. Though, just as she expected, it was nearly as light as a feather, almost falling from her thin fingers. "Empty," she spoke with a hoarse, strained voice. "I should have known." Still, she brought the bottle in front of her. She brought it down under the water, submerging it. As if struggling for air, bubbles poured from it as it filled up with water, and a small amount of soap suds began to rise. Once full, she brought the now full bottle out from the water, taking a moment to straighten the squished plastic along the middle.
With some hope that there would be a little soap left over, she sat up more out of the warm water, placing one palm over the mouth of the bottle to block the contents. Taking a moment to shake it up, she began to feel emotional, praying that there would be at least a decent amount of bubbles to soothe her senses. Swallowing the lump beginning to build in her throat, she tilted the bottle and allowed it to spill back into the tub. Only a few soap suds littered the pristine surface of the water, and the relaxing lavender scent was nothing but a faint hint, fighting against the musty smell of the bathroom. With a sudden influx of emotions that she could not control, she squeezed the bottle before throwing it at the wall with a cry of frustration. The bottle, after hitting the stale white of the wall, fell clattering to the bathroom floor, leaving a trail of water and suds behind it, like bloodstains from a murder victim.
Sobbing and hiccupping, the frustrated girl pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs tightly. Her freckled cheek pressing into the similarly freckled knees, she kept her eyes clenched shut tightly, fighting to control her emotions. More than anything, she wanted to hear his voice call to her from outside of the bathroom. Instead, she heard another, so similar and yet so completely different, nearly on the verge of growling at her.
"Kenmei, what the fuck was that? What are you doing in there, wasting all the damn water!"
Lifting her head up from her knees, Kenmei strained to speak behind her need to continue crying, the trembling in her body shaking her voice. "It's n-nothing, Dad! J-just leave me alone for a while!" Her head resting back on her knees, she felt her stomach churn as she heard him sigh, curses following him down the hallway with his loud footsteps. That man, all of this was his fault in the first place. He had given up on him, allowing him to die without any effort or care from his end, just like her mother years before. Now, with no brother, no mother, she was left to the mercy of this man who would not dare to call her daughter. No, she was just the burden, as he had always treated her.
It was as if all the color in the world had vanished with her brother's death, following him to the afterlife. There was no happiness or love to be found in this prison, the large and lavish modern wealthy family home felt as if it were made of ice. Since her mother passed away, her father had thrown every single memory of her away. Any furniture she had bought, pictures that brought life to the home, or mementos that had once meant the world to her were gone. Now, he was doing the same with her brother's things, and she could hear him shuffling about in the room across the hall.
Kenmei had tried to stop him. She had done her best to protect her brother's belongings while he was in the hospital. But, now that he was gone, she had no power against her father, and everything was being disposed of.
'You can't keep anything,' he had told her. 'There is no point, he's not here to use this shit anymore, it's all going in the garbage.'
'But it's his memories!' Kenmei had tried to argue, crippled on the floor clutching discarded clothing. She remembered distinctly that they still smelled like him. 'Just let me keep a few of Kendai's things, please!'
She could still remember the feeling of the clothing being yanked from her hands, and the stab to her chest as she heard the fabric rip from the force. Though that had been a few days ago, the pain from her father's selfishness and cruelty was still heavy on her mind and it collided with the feeling of loss. It was a hopeless, lonely feeling, and she found herself wishing she could get away from it all. But, she knew that was not possible. She felt as if she would be suffering forever, and as the pain peaked, a numbness fell over her body.
Still hiccupping as her body tried to recover from sobbing, she slowly began to sink herself down into the now lukewarm water. She stopped once she was floating on her back, her black hair beginning to free itself from the loose bun she had it in. It touched her face gently, moving with the water to create a ring around her face, which was the only piece of her body still protruding from its surface. Though the hair tickled the skin of her cheeks, every inch of her body felt numb, and she felt as if she were floating in nothingness, as if she were in a void.
The void. What a pleasurable thought, to fall into nothingness where there would be no thoughts, no pain, no regret. No anything. Closing her strained eyes, she took in a shallow breath and sunk herself beneath the water's surface. Almost immediately, she felt at peace, the silent pressure on her ears soothing her frantic thoughts. Instead, she could hear the soft sound of her mother's voice singing to her, her brother's laughter, the melody of her favorite song, and even the soothing rumble of the ocean. As her mind began to drift, she even thought she could feel the water rumbling with the sound, and a cold chill began to wrap itself around her.
Suddenly, as the chill reached her face, she became aware of a pressure on her feet and she panicked, feeling a rush of sharp pain as she sucked in water through her mouth and nose. She began to feel dizzy, and though her arms reached through the surface of the water, she felt as if she couldn't pull her body up. There was no pressure holding her down, but her disorientation and the burning in her lungs pushed away any rational thought. Flailing, she felt her elbow hit hard against the edge of the tub, and the sudden sharp pain made her realize what position she had been in. Gripping at the slick surface, she forced herself up out of the water, gasping loudly as she struggled to get air back into her lungs.
Coughing and struggling to calm herself, she leaned over the edge of the tub, the deep, raspy hacking bringing up water from her lungs and stomach. As her mind began to settle, she could feel an awful chill around her and noticed in the moment that water was spilling over the edge of the tub. Looking over, she saw that the faucet was running at full force on the coldest setting. Still coughing, she reached over and quickly turned it off before reaching down and pulling the plug from the drain. Letting it fall to the bottom of the tub, she rested herself against the edge, still wheezing and feeling as if she were going to vomit.
She had almost made it to the void, but that cold water had pulled her back. Moving to hug herself as the water reached her hips, she stared at the faucet in confusion. What had happened to turn that on? Had she kicked it with her foot on accident? She could not comprehend what may have caused it, but if she was honest with herself, she was angry. No matter the cause, it had pulled her from bliss, and now she was trapped once again in this cold, loveless home. With a sigh, she pulled herself back over to look at the floor, noticing that water was everywhere.
Mopping it up with her father yelling at her was not exactly an attractive option at this point, but she knew she had no other choice.
Though, sitting there until it dried on its own didn't seem like such a bad idea, either.