A/N: It's hard to write sire bond Elena y'all. It's hard to try to write her fairly because everything she says right now just sounds so uh...wrong? But I tried to get into her head. I don't know how many parts there'll be but we gotta start somewhere.

Stefan had never given Elena a reason to be jealous. When the most beautiful women came to town all professing that they wanted Stefan to love them as much as they loved him, Elena, ready to hold onto him with her fingertips, realized she would never have to. Stefan's eyes never changed when he looked at her. She could tell it made him uncomfortable—equal parts guilt and equal parts sadness for the women—them wanting him but him unable to see anybody but her. But it was what it was.

Still, Elena remembered the first time she met all of those women. Lexi, the "girl in the towel", whose obnoxious beauty and ability to make Stefan laugh and relax set Elena in such a quiet fit of jealousy she could hardly breathe. Once she talked to Lexi and saw that she loved Stefan deeply—but not that way—it settled her. She even came to love her in those briefest of moments. And Katherine? How could he not love about a sexy, worldy, overly confident, uninhibited woman? How could Stefan resist her—especially when they had such history.

Even when she, a brand new vampire, tried to stab Rebekah for making her jealous about her past relationship with Stefan, if she looked over at Stefan, she would have seen his concern more about their present situation than any residual feelings he had for her. He had his "peacekeeper" face on—even though Elena wore her propietery face and that's the one that got her stabbed in the hand with a #2 pencil.

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They lie on blankets that shield them from the earth of the forest one night and talk in hushed tones about the things they said they could discuss if and when they got back together.

"I think I understood him better than I had before that night and I just thought I would see if this is what I wanted. So, we...we kissed. It felt...good and I gave into it and then Jeremy caught us and it shocked me a little. I felt guilty because it felt good...and I hurt him and he hurt me. God, this is so weird."

Stefan nods while staring at the sky.

"Yeah but you needed to tell me."

"But this is why," and she puts her hand on his chest like she always does and rubs her palm against him so he would look at her. "As good as it felt I knew it wasn't enough in comparison to how I felt about you. Driving home that night, as bad as I felt for hurting him and knowing that he wanted me and me showing him that I could want him back, he didn't have me. I knew that I loved you...and I know that you told me you loved me but I had no idea how we could start again. Still, I wanted the possibility of us more than what happened between me and Damon at that motel."

Stefan lie quietly staring at her and trying to figure out how he could love someone so very much so quickly.

"While you were gone did you.."

"Was I—with someone else?" he looked at her with his eyebrow raised at the way she changed gears.

She nodded and watched him.

He shook his head. "I did horrible things, Elena. Things I will never be able to talk about without shame and absolute guilt. I even did them to you. But as far gone as I was and as violent as I was, I couldn't see being with anybody else. That excuses nothing I did but that's the truth. I tried to pretend like I could with Rebekah but she saw right through me."

"So just me then? That says something doesn't it?"

"It says that you're 18 and you've had more trauma than any person should have and have lost more people than any person should have and feelings are feelings. Elena, I told you this before but I've lived 162 years. I've seen a lot of things; experienced a lot of things; felt a lot of things. I—I know what I want—who I want. And I understand you still needing to figure that out. Let's also not forget that I totally pushed you toward him when I left town."

She leans her forehead against his.

"You understand more than anyone should, Stefan. More than * I * would if the roles were reversed."

"Hmm. When I say I want you to be happy it just means that I want you to be where you want to be doing what you want to do with whomever you want to do it. It makes me crazy thinking that could be with my brother. But you're worth that."

"You're worth that too to me. You know that, right?" She kissed his jaw and his cheek and moved back down to his throat while her hands searched his body. She crawled on top of him and continued to kiss and touch him while he lay there in supplication. Her hair veiling her face as continued to trek down his body, she moved back up to him and kissed him soundly. "I don't want to lose this," she says in between kisses. "This is everything."

Their lovemaking that night was intense and territorial and loud and uproarious and glorious because they were so open with each other. Each time Elena moved atop Stefan and each time he held her hips as he moved in time with her felt like they were forging something new. Her body was the same as he remembered when she was human. But there was strength and agility that he hadn't seen in her before compliments of vampirism.

When they were both spent and the fire built close to them had long burned out, Elena fought exhaustion to watch Stefan sleep next to her. He held her hand in his sleep and she watched how their rings matched and how okay she was with whatever that meant because they were determined not to quit on each other.

Now, she was with Damon and she felt happy. There were efforts to discover how deep the power of the sire bond ran in relation to her own feelings for him-which she believed were true and genuine—but ultimately they were scrapped when Elena insisted that everyone leave her be with Damon. As she told her friends, "If it ends, it'll end. But we deserve a chance to be happy."

Happy. That's how she felt. She sometimes disagreed with Damon but more often than not, saw that she was being unreasonable. He wasn't asking for anything she wouldn't ask of him. At the end of the day, she wanted him to be safe and that's what he wanted from her. She understood how isolated he felt and how hard it was for him to be accepted because he made some bad choices. She wouldn't leave him by himself like so many others had done. That's how she knew it was love. She felt so protective of him. And she wanted him. She wanted him to the core of her bones she wanted him. And that he wanted her made her feel good and whole and special and grateful.

Stefan left the mansion shortly after she and Damon became official. They had a falling out at school one day and he told her that she ripped his heart out and she apologized but what else could she do? She felt how she felt. He'd learn to let her go. But then he stopped talking to her directly and he stopped looking at her too which was weird because...well she wasn't entirely sure why that was weird. He would always mean something to her and be important to her. He was the brother of the guy she was falling (but never fully fallen) in love with. Of course she cared for him. But people grow and change and...she was happy. She hoped everyone else could be too—including Stefan.

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Stefan lived long enough to recognize when he should feel jealous and when he shouldn't. He never felt jealous when Elena was with Matt Donovan. He supposed he could have but in their case he could see she had fully moved on from him. He felt guilt and compassion for Matt.

And Elijah? He felt jealous. But Elena came home to him every night detailing what they discussed-of her own volition-so he let that melt down.

But Damon? As much as he tried to think otherwise or tried to accept it and use it to their advantage as a way of keeping Elena safe? He could never not be jealous of his relationship with Elena. Even when she told him he had no reason to worry. He trusted her. He did. But he knew how these things happened.

And even if the way they happened was not of Elena's free will, the end result was the same.

After he met Elena, Stefan knew no other girl ever really held a candle to how he felt about her. Even as Klaus allowed him to remember their days in 1920s Chicago and his time with Rebekah, his feelings for her never matched how he loved Elena. He admired her beauty and often remembered the fun they had together but he never really doubted his lack of feeling for her when compared to Elena.

He guessed he understood the idea of the sire bond after all.

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When April undaggered her, Rebekah initially thought she'd try to get revenge on Stefan for aiding her brother in trapping her. But not long after she made her way back to her newly acquired home, she saw that Stefan was already feeling the karmic backlash. She watched him not talk about Elena and avoid her and his brother. As much as it gave her moments of glee, she knew the toll of that betrayal. She also knew how much he loved that dumb girl.

She thought she'd give him something to take his mind off his loss. So she became his adversary as a distraction of sorts.

Problem was he wasn't much in the mood to fight. Matter of fact, he looked like he was holding on to his control with the pads of his fingers. Still, she pushed him and pushed him.

Stefan didn't want to come between Elena and Caroline anymore so he stopped crashing at the Forbes home and took shelter in Alaric's old apartment. That place held so many memories for Stefan. It was the place where he made the deal with Klaus to save his brother, the place where he allowed The Ripper to take over again, the place where he kissed Elena for the last time, the place where she still loved him and believed in him. The last two memories broke his heart every day he stayed there. But the ache reminded him that he wasn't in love by himself so he endured the pain.

He sat there one night drinking his nightcap before forcing himself to sleep when Rebekah knocked on the door. They just returned from Italy with Professor Shane and fought the entire time. Klaus called it bonding. They came back with the sword but no one was certain as to its true power or if it was really still necessary. "Still necessary." Those were Elena's words. Damon convinced her that she should know for sure if she really wanted to be with him and she told him it didn't matter and Stefan leapt from the table at the Mystic Grill and left without a word.

"What do you want Rebekah"? Stefan left the door open as he walked away to freshen up his drink. He dropped ice into the glass for Rebekah's as well and handed the glass of bourbon (her favorite drink) to her.

"No reason. I was bored and thought I'd kick you around while you were down. It is my way after all."

Stefan nodded. "Well, don't let me stop you. Get on with it."

Rebekah shook her glass a bit letting the ice cubes clink against the sides. "She really broke you didn't she?"

He clears his throat because the lump that has suddenly appeared would prevent him from talking forever.

"It's the worst pain I've ever known. Mostly because when I think about it, I realize that it was my fault. If I hadn't saved Matt, she would still be her."

"Stefan that was my fault. I killed her; not you."

"That is true Rebekah." He toasts her. "You know what's funny? I love her more today than I did before. Her. In whatever state she is in. I told her once that I wanted her to be happy. And if it weren't for this sire bond thing and she were really happy with my brother I would...I would let it be. It feels like shrapnel in my body but I would have found a way to live with it."

Rebekah puts down her glass and walks over to him. "For what it's worth, seeing you loving Elena like I imagined you were supposed to feel about me all those years ago feels just like what you're describing. Being someone's memory hurts more than I can describe."

They stare at each other for awhile and then he kisses her. And then she asks him (again): "Do you think you can ever love someone like you loved her?"

"Never."

"You're telling the truth." And she kisses him back.

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The sire bond is broken and Elena, now human again, still chooses to be with Damon—not that Stefan put up a fight. He wished them well with a tear in his eye and walked away.

Elena felt weird about it but chalked it up to residual feelings she was just starting to regain post-bond. Things would be weird for awhile, she'd tell herself. But they'd work out. Those boys loved each other; they'd find a way to get along.

And then she saw it. Stefan sitting next to Rebekah at the Grill. Stefan being annoyed with something she said but still laugh with her. Her hand involuntarily grabbing his shoulder as they talked to her and Caroline and Matt.

They were together. And she was fine with it. I mean, she couldn't move on and not expect him to.

She was perfectly fine.

Except when she would get up in the middle of the night and walk up to Stefan's room and look around.

Except when she would have to call him and notify him of something his brother found out and he'd have to call her back because he was currently occupied.

Except when she actually saw him kiss her for the first time and dance with him at the Prom.

They were in the middle of figuring out the latest drama when they were put together to locate something. She had an attitude with him the entire time.

"Elena I'm not sure what your problem is."

"I don't have a problem Stefan."

"Well, make sure you talk it over with whomever it concerns. But if it's my brother I think you know you should just give him the space he needs if he's asking for it."

She was no longer a vampire but if she were she would have tried to hit him he made her so angry.

She talked to Bonnie that night after they parted. That was the first time the "J" word was uttered.

"He's such a smart ass now and he talks to me like...like we have no history. And he barely looks at me. But her? He looks at her all the time! Rebekah? I just don't get it."

Bonnie remains quiet and listens to her friend rant. But at that last thought she can't help but mumble under her breath.

"What? What did you say Bonnie?" Elena asks exasperated.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything."

"No I think you did. Go ahead. Say it."

"You're with Damon. You can't possibly judge Stefan for his choice." Elena looks mad and simultaneously like the rug has been dragged from under her.

Bonnie takes a deep breath and continues on. If Elena thought she was a judgy bitch she'd have good reason. "But that's not what this is about. This is about Stefan being with someone else. It could be Rebekah or Any Girl. Think about it Elena. You never considered the fact that Stefan could move on as easily as you did. Did you expect him to spend his life pining for you?"

Elena takes her deep breath. "Thanks for being on my side Bon. And I just can't imagine Stefan choosing the person who sent me and Matt over a bridge and killed me."

"Really? Elena, I love you but you're with the guy who slept with that same girl after she tried to kill you the first time. Stranger things have happened. Listen, jealousy is normal. The question is are you jealous because it never occurred to you or are you jealous because you think he's yours?"