Happy holidays from your friendly neighborhood man-whore, Gigolo Von Spicypants! Now enjoy my gift to you all: Pokémon screwing each other. To be honest, I'm surprised I finished this in time.
On the night of Christmas Eve, a delibird named Santa was hosting a Christmas party in his suburban home. Pokémon of all types and forms in the neighborhood came to celebrate the holidays. Friends, coworkers, neighbors-the delibird invited everyone he knew and it looked like everyone was going to attend. Just as the party was getting in full swing, the ring of the doorbell caught Santa's attention. Santa opened the door and was surprised to see a beautiful feline with gossamer pink fur covering her body from her pointed ears down to the tip of her long tail floating a few inches off the ground and using her psychic powers to make a few festively decorated boxes levitate next to her.
"Hi, Santa." The feline greeted. "I take it I'm not too late am I?"
"Hey, Mew. I didn't think you were coming." He said.
"And miss the party?" She asked incredulously. "Everybody and their grandmother are gonna be here. Oh, by the way, where do I put the presents?"
"Kitchen table." He said, pointing back towards the kitchen. Mew left for the kitchen and Santa's friend, Rudolph walked up to him.
"Dude, you've gotta tap that." The deerling chuckled.
"Mew? Come on, I got a snowball's chance in hell with her."
"And that works out perfectly for you." Rudolph said. Before Santa could ask why, the grass-and-normal-type continued. "You're an ice-type and she's hot as hell." The delibird opened his beak to say something in reply, but was at a loss of what to say to that. The deerling had a way evoking such an experience out of others. Santa ended the conversation by walking away before his friend turned his brain into mush. While it was true Santa wanted nothing more than to spend a night in the company of such a beautiful creature, he knew that a woman of her caliber would never date an unathletic, average-looking, and admittedly pudgy guy like him. It would be nice, though. He thought.
Two hours later, the party had reached its peak. Everyone Santa had invited had arrived and at least half of them had brought a friend of their own. While Mew was off chatting with her friends in the dining room, Rudolph was hitting on a drunken kirlia, and Santa was listening in on his friend Joe's stories about his pre-teen son.
"...So he said 'I know Christmas is about giving and not getting, but if you don't give me a new Playstation, we're gonna have a problem.'" The ampharos ended with a chuckle, earning a laugh from the other pokémon around him.
"Santa?" Mew called from the kitchen, "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Coming!" Santa said. Joe's wife, a flaafy by the name of Mary whistled suggestively and the others laughed. "I'm sure it's nothing like that." The delibird scoffed.
"It is." Joe grinned. "Trust me, I've know that look she gave you."
"I don't know how much eggnog you've been drinking, Joe, but she didn't give me a look." The delibird denied as he left to speak with the psychic-type. "What's up?" He asked when he got where Mew was.
"I'm having a really great time, Santa." Mew said. She held his wings in her paws and stared into his eyes with a look of contentment and admiration until she hugged him. "This party is better than I could've ever hoped." Santa was suddenly feeling very self-conscious of how close he was to her and started to feel flustered. Mew was a symbol of true beauty; a ten out of ten when he was, at best, a six.
"Th-thanks." The delibird stuttered, blushing madly and only noticing after he finish speaking that his voice cracked like that of a prepubescent teen. He was totally embarrassed; his voice hadn't cracked like that in years. Mew giggled at his faux pas and broke the embrace before continuing.
"So... You still single?" She asked.
"Huh?" He blurted out, caught off guard by the female pokémon's sudden question.
"Are you still single?" She repeated herself.
"Yeah." He answered.
"Well, not anymore." The pink furred feline grinned as she gestured upward with a finger. Santa followed her gaze and saw the mistletoe hanging above their heads. He was about to say something when Mew kissed him, her tongue brushing against his beak for entrance. After a moment's hesitation, the delibird opened his beak and his tongue danced with hers sensually. Mew broke the kiss after several seconds and spoke.
"I'll see you after the party, baby." The psychic-type whispered before she left to converse with another pokémon in the dining room.
"I told ya, dude." Santa heard Rudolph behind him say. Santa turned to see the deerling with a tipsy kirlia draping an arm over his shoulders for support.
"Next time, I'll take our advice." The delibird sighed. "You two having fun?" The delibird asked.
"Not as much fun as it's about to get." The kirlia spoke with slurred speech and the heavy smell of alcohol on her breath while trailing a finger down Rudolph's side.
"The party's totally awesome, Bro," he began, "but Angel and I are going to my place to 'jolly our hollies.' We'll come by tomorrow to pick up our gifts."
"Thanks for the booze, Santa." Angel said with slurred speech. "You sure know how go all out."
"Glad you enjoyed yourselves," Santa replied, "and thank you for the mental image." He added sardonically, directed at the deerling. "See you at the New Year's party."
"See ya." The drunken female added before the two left for the door.
Later that night, after the party ended, presents had exchanged hands and all the guests had left aside from Mew, who was lounging on the sofa in front of the fire when Santa handed her a glass of red wine and sat next to her.
"You sure know how to show a girl a good time." Mew said before taking a sip. "What vintage is this?" she asked.
"It's a '12 Yellow Tail." He answered before jokingly adding, "A good year if you ask me."
"It's about to get better." The feline purred. She placed her glass down on the table and the two shared a loving embrace, kissing and holding each other in a passionate show of affection. After a few minutes of lustful making out, Mew pushed Santa back and laid back on the couch with her legs spread, revealing her slit, already moist with anticipation. "I think it's time for you to give me my present." She winked, looking as sweetly as possible. "I'm sure you've got something for me in that sack of yours."
"Well, why don't you sit on Santa's lap and tell me what you want for Christmas?" Santa chuckled, patting his lap. Mew wasted no time in following the delibird's suggestion and sitting on his lap and began giving him a lap dance.
"I want a laptop, a new MP3 Player, the new Metric album," She started listing off her Christmas list while she grinded her rear against the delibird's hardening member before she turned and whispered into his ear, "but most of all, I want you to send your 'little elves' down my chimney, if you know what I mean."
"It sounds doable," He began, "But unfortunately, it turns out you're on my naughty list."
"Oh, my!" The female said, going along with the male's role-playing. "Is there anything can I do to fix that?"
"Well... Maybe I'll change my mind after you suck on my candy cane a bit." He grinned. Mew giggled, enjoying where this was going.
"That sounds reasonable." She purred. Her tail twitched back and forth as she got down onto her knees on the floor before him. The feline stroked Santa's length with a paw before she ran her tongue along the underside from base to tip and kissed the head, making the delibird shudder from the stimulation. Mew took the first two inches of the stiff appendage into her mouth before she lowered her head down the rest of the way, letting the cock slip down her throat. When it was all in, the psychic-type began to bob her head up and down on the delibird's dick.
"God, you're good at this." Santa gasped. His wing found it's way to the back of Mew's head, urging her on. The feline purred at her lover's touch and began sucking harder, eager to bring him close to the edge. The vibrations from Mew's muffled vocalizations on Santa's length only added to Santa's pleasure, which was building with each moment that passed between him and the female giving him head. Just as the ice-and-flying-type was about to cum, Mew pulled herself away from his crotch and licked the pre from her lips before she kissed him deeply.
"Now it's time for a little stocking stuffing." She winked. She got back into the position she was in when they started: lying on her back on the couch with her legs spread, showing Santa her pussy in it's full glory. Immediately, he was on top of her and they were wrapped up in a loving kiss. The avian pokémon's wing tip went straight to her folds, massaging her puffy labia and playing with the little pink nub at the top of her slit. Mew began mewling like kit at the feeling of her lover's feathers on her clit. It didn't last long, however, because the delibird's wing left her crotch to be replaced with his cock. "Can I tell you a secret?" Mew whispered. Santa nodded. "I'm a virgin."
"Still?" He asked, amazed that he would be the first to make love to the pretty feline. "Well, I'm glad to be your first." With that, his dick entered her and broke the barrier to her inner sanctum in one push. Mew winced and let out a small whine of pain as she lost her virginity to Santa. "Are you alright?" The delibird was genuinely concerned about his lover, but she put his worries to rest when she replied.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." She said, looking deep into his eyes. "Just please keep going, please." Santa nodded and obeyed her request, starting slowly so she could get accustomed to his size. "More," Mew moaned after a few thrusts, "Faster." The avian's hips picked up speed and his lover began to squeak cutely with each thrust he made. After more pleas of 'faster' and 'harder,' her cute squeaks evolved into passionate moans and full-blown cries of pure ecstasy. "Yes! Oh, god, yes!" The female screamed, overcome with pleasure. The way the delibird made love to her was far better than she could've ever imagined. She began to buck her hips against his every time they met, taking him in to the hilt as the tip of his length assaulted her G-spot and sent shivers of pleasure up her spine.
As this went on for the next fifteen minutes, Mew's tight hole constricted Santa's length, bringing his imminent orgasm closer than he had expected. Luckily, if the rising pitch of the psychic-type's screams were any indication, either she was about to reach her climax as well or every canine in the neighborhood would hear how much she was enjoying herself.
"Oh, Santa, baby, I'm gonna cum!" Mew moaned. She squeezed the delibird's hips with her thighs as the sexual bliss she felt became too much for to handle.
"Me too." Santa groaned. Less than a minute later, the delibird grunted as he gave one final thrust and his 'little helpers' emptied their contents into Mew's love canal. The psychic feline screamed as she came seconds after him. They laid together on the couch, basking in the afterglow of their orgasms until sleep took over.
Santa was the first to wake up in the morning. He carefully got up off the couch, trying not wake his darling Mew, and went into the kitchen to brew some coffee. The morning light reflecting off the fresh-lain snow hurt his eyes after the alcohol from last night. He turned on the coffee machine and began to brew a hazelnut blend from a bag of coffee grounds he had in the cupboard. The delibird didn't care that much for hazelnut, but he remembered Mew saying it was her favorite once. The pot was ready after a minute of brewing and Santa poured himself a cup of coffee.
"Good morning, Santa." A feminine voice called from behind him. Mew was in the archway that separated the kitchen from the living room, holding a paw up to shield her eyes from the light. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas." He yawned, closing the shades for her. "Coffee?"
"Yes, please." She answered gratefully, sitting at the kitchen table. The delibird poured her a cup and handed it to her. Mew's small paws grasped the mug as she brought it to her lips and drank. "My favorite. Thanks. You were great last night." She complimented.
"You too." Santa replied. He sat down next to her, drinking from his own cup. "You think everyone got home safely?"
"Hope so." The feline said. "I also hope they had as much fun as we did last night."
"I know it'd be hard to top what we did." The delibird remarked. "Though I bet Rudolph and Angel tried their best." He glanced to the colorfully wrapped boxes on the other end of the table. "Shall we open our presents?" He asked, earning a lecherous chuckle from his pink friend. "You know what I mean." He added, giving Mew a friendly shove. The first gift he reached for was a small box with blue-and-green striped wrapping paper. He recognized it as the gift he got for her. "This one's from me."
"Aw, thanks." She purred. She peeled off the wrapping paper and opened the box and her eyes lit up with joy when she saw the emerald earrings inside.
"I didn't know your birth stone, so I just guessed." He admitted.
"Well, you made a lucky guess." Mew praised, putting on the earrings, "It is emerald." The psychic-type handed him a rectangular present covered in plain red paper and topped off with a pink ribbon tied up in pretty bow. "From me to you." Santa opened his present to reveal a copy of Uncharted: The Golden Abyss. "I know how much you wanted it."
"You're the best, Mew." He thanked, kissing the feline on the cheek. Mew leaned her head on Santa's shoulder and wrapped her long tail around his waist.
"I'd like to ring in the New Year with you." She purred softly.
"Same here." Santa agreed.
Fun Fact: I only used half of the holiday-related sexual puns I came up with. I would've used them all, but I didn't want anyone out there dying of pun-overdose.