A/N: I wanted to do this crossover right after I read the play. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to work it out, but I have a general idea. Hopefully it won't end up too much like "The God Complex"... Anyway, read and review! More will come. Eventually.
Three people sat bickering in a room. Rather, they would seem to be bickering to an outside observer. However, after 300 years of being together, they finally worked out a system for maintaining peace.
"And then I said to the vendor, what's cooking, pan!?"
"Ba ha haa!"
The man and the ornate woman were in the middle of a conversation about his past. Another woman sat on the couch across the room from them, silently meditating. Each had agreed, tentatively, to stray from certain topics, such as intense philosophical examinations of their past lives. They decided to live in the "here and now" and also discuss humorous anecdotes from their past. The singular woman, Inez, chose largely to stay out of their conversations. They were relatively banal, anyway. Garcin was retelling his bread-market joke for the fifty-seventh time that year. Suddenly, the door opened and the Valet walked in.
"This is your room, sir. I'm afraid we have quite run out of 'fish-sticks' and have never stocked 'custard.' If you require anything else, please do not hesitate to ring the bell."
As the Valet left, Garcin, Inez and Estelle were able to get a better look at their new room-mate. He seemed rather odd, with his poofy hair, Oxford-professor-style jacket and odd, but cool, bow-tie. They didn't quite know from where he hailed, until he began speaking. Even then, they would have made the wrong guess.
"So! Done a bit of thinking, and I disagree!" he said, to nobody in particular. He wandered around the room, shining a green flashlight-like object.
"Hmm… Not getting any peculiar temporal readings. Nothing on the wibbly frequency either. Maybe it's a dream?"
He slapped himself across the face.
"OW! No, definitely not a dream. Dream Lord, are you trying to scare me again? No, I didn't breath in any odd pollen…"
Finally, somebody else decided to speak.
"Excuse me, who are you?" Garcin inquired. "We haven't had a new guest in over … umm …"
"300 years, 11 days and 4.2 hours." Inez finished. They looked at her. "What? I have to do something with the time!"
"Yes, well, that's all fine and nice but… sorry, what's your name?"
"I'm Inez, and the cowardly man and the fancy woman are Garcin and Estelle. Welcome to hell!"
"What? This couldn't possibly be … hell."
"It most certainly is! We've all died, and been placed her to suffer out the rest of forever with each other."
"Well, you see, I haven't died, yet. I was just flipping the wibbly lever, and pressing the timey-wimey button, and then I'm here! Well, not here exactly, more of a corridor of sorts. Wonder what happened to Clara…"
"Hey, I didn't catch your name. Who are you?"
"I'm the Doctor!"