Disclaimer: I claim no rights to anything in the CSI: New York universe, characters, plot or themes therein. Jerry Bruckheimer has plenty of lawyers and money; I don't want to make him mad.
A/N: I couldn't help it. A monster plot-bunny bit for this little Danny/Lindsay one-shot. And, well after episodes like "Love Run Cold" – really? What do you expect to happen?
"Know Me Not"
by Alamo Girl
Danny knows he deserves it. He knows from her demeanor all day – the subtle vibes emanating from her petite form – she's on edge. And he knows that he is probably the cause.
But Danny Messer is a man who knows his own feelings. After all, he's never been particularly shy about voicing his opinions or concerns. Discovering some minute detail during a case, and being the first one to play show-and-tell to Mac, had always been a high for him. The fact that Mac had hand picked him and he wanted to do his mentor proud has a lot to do with it too, but Danny doesn't care. It's just the way he is.
The same outgoing ideals go for his romantic interests as well. Many a time, Danny has brought a flabbergasted chuckle out of his friend, Don Flack, marching up to some beauty at a bar and laying on his patented New York charm. He prides himself on not being afraid to 'tell it like it is' – even if the results aren't always what he wants.
So, when the chemistry between him and Lindsay Monroe – whom he calls (with the utmost affection) "Montana" – becomes so thick that even the slightly oblivious Hawks has started giving them looks, he knows its time to do something about it.
Thinking back, he remembers every detail of the 'approach':
The day after the jewelry-heist sting, giving Lindsay enough time to recover from the adrenaline rush of going undercover on dangerous jewel smugglers (and to give his own roiling emotions time to calm down after fearing she had been hurt) Danny sidles up to Lindsay, while she looks intently into a microscope.
"So," he says, trying to appear nonchalant and hide the fact that for the first time, he's actually nervous about asking a girl out, "Some action yesterday, huh?"
She doesn't even pull away from the eyepiece, "Yeah. Pretty intense."
Nodding slightly, while he pretends to be engrossed in the evidence form he's writing on, he adds, "Ya'know Montana, it being your first undercover gig and all, you did good."
That prompts a reaction, and she glances out of the corner of her eye at him. "I wouldn't really call it a gig, Danny. I was in there all of five minutes. Just long enough to distract them 'til you guys could get in there."
"Long enough to get shot." It slips out before he can stop it, and he knows this isn't going to get her to warm to his date proposition. He supposes the stress of that moment when he realized she was going into the lion's den still lingers.
Lindsay stands straight now, and looks at him directly. "Danny, I told you I was fine. I had it under control and back-up was right outside. The concussion bomb was more than enough to take those guys out."
He rubs the back of his neck, agitated, and back-peddles. "Okay. Alright, I know…I know. Ya'know, things happen in the heat of the moment…you can't control everything…you start thinkin' 'what if' and–"
He's rambling incoherently and he knows it. Danny feels his cheeks start to flush, and he thanks God Flack isn't there giving him that damned smirk. If he doesn't come to his point soon he'll be wishing the lab floor had a trap door in it, so he could fall through and hide…
She's staring at him, curiously. How embarrassing!
"Um…" Danny's eyes shift erratically around the room, as if knowing everyone was now staring at him in all his spluttering glory. "Listen, Montana…do you …uh... do you wanna' maybe go grab some dinner? With me? Tonight?"
It's out. And Danny finally understands what all of his buddies have describes as the 'thunderous silence before the response' that comes asking someone you like a lot more than you'll admit out on a date.
Lindsay blinks those enormous brown eyes, and Danny – in the midst of realizing that she does, in fact, have lovely eyes – thinks he hears a cricket chirping comically in the background.
After an eternally long moment, she answers simply, "Yes."
And Danny thinks his face might split in two with the smile spreading across it, and his chest might swell to absurd proportions with excitement. So, he hurriedly blurts out a time and place and turns to leave the lab, and misses the look creeping over Lindsay's face. The regretful – fearful – look.
Danny realizes that perhaps, just perhaps, he's made a mistake as he checks his watch for the nth time and speed dials her cell phone. Could he have been wrong about what it was between them? He's been sitting at the club for over an hour waiting. And she hasn't shown.
Danny knows how he feels when he's around her. He knows the way his heart speeds up when Lindsay enters a scene, and he hadn't been sure if Mac was going to partner them for that case, but the anticipation of finding out that he had is enough to make him feel like a teenager again.
He knows how her country-girl morals and subtle naïveté make his insides grow hot – just imagining all the things he could show her, the things he could make her feel – just to see that wide-eyed wonder on her face.
He knows how incredible it makes him feel when he protects her, even though he's quite aware she can take care of herself – he can still play her White Knight. Whether it's from a suspect who's trying to intimidate her, or simply walking her out to her car at night… he watches out for her.
She makes him feel important. He's been there longer than she, and though they work as equals, it still astounds him with the surge of masculine pride that washes over his psyche when she looks to him for confirmation.
All of these emotions tumble and fight with each other inside his heart since he met Lindsay Monroe, so he's very sure he didn't misunderstand his reasoning for taking the plunge to ask her out. And to be perfectly honest, he knows he felt some of the same reactions coming from her as well. Danny's been with enough women to know mutual attraction when he feels it.
He can recognize the blush that rises on her cherub cheeks when he teases or compliments her – and he'd be lying if he didn't admit that reaction wasn't exactly what he was trying to evoke. Some of his initial flirtations may have been somewhat juvenile, akin to the boy on the playground pulling the pigtails of the girl he was secretly crushing on. But over time, they melded into something more. Something…more serious.
When Lindsay came to check on his comatose brother, the compassion and empathy she showed him at a time when he was at his lowest, struck a chord with Danny. And he'd never wanted to hold onto her as badly as he did then.
When she went into the jewelry smuggler's apartment, posing as the last jewelry thief, and Danny heard the sting go south over the body-microphone, he'd never felt so cold. It was like ice had formed around his heart and until he had Lindsay Monroe – safe and in his arms – he had tunnel vision. He had to save her. She had to be alright.
As Danny finally gives up, drops a few bills on the table, shoves his hands into his pockets and trudges out, he realizes – somewhere along the line, he'd fallen for Montana. Hook, line and sinker.
As he makes his way to another pub, Danny ponders the fact that he doesn't really know much about Lindsay. She effectively keeps her personal life a mystery, and when she does let something slip, it's usually cryptic and quickly snatched up to be returned to the locked box that is Montana's life.
He wonders where he went wrong, what might have scared Lindsay into standing him up on what would have been their first date. Since he is sure (and Danny is sure) that she is into him like he is into her, there should be no problem. Shouldn't there?
Danny frowns, walking to the nearest bar to have a drink and tries not to let the fact that he'd been stood up (and that it hurt) make him angrier than he already is. After all, the night was young – there were plenty of chicks in the bar.
It isn't the same, and he knows it – but clinging to that 'bounce-right-back' façade was easier than kicking a hole in the wooden bar he's standing at. Less costly too.
And Danny holds onto that façade, as he attempts to work the new crime scene that comes up – a model at a chic club who was stabbed by an ice sickle.
"I'm not used to being stood up," he mutters to her, hoping his tone is causal. That he doesn't sound stung and disappointed – which he is – but she doesn't need to know that.
"I'm sorry, Danny. But something came up." She's agitated and completely uncomfortable around him, and that unnerves him even more.
Danny thinks she's hiding something, but he lets it go. They have a case to work, after all. But when he tries again, and suggests they grab some food together before heading back to the lab later that day, she surprises him. She nearly chastises him for thinking about his stomach rather than the case! She fairly blows up about how she needs to go check on some evidence for Mac – which he knows for a fact can wait a few measly minutes while they grab a slice! – and she is obviously keeping him at bay, not getting within arms length of his body.
People on the street are even staring at the two supposed partners. Danny is dumbfounded by this change in her demeanor, and can't for the life of him figure out where their normal, bantering, flirtatious harmony went. She sidesteps his attempts to coax her somewhere where they can be alone – his hunger now totally forgotten – and watches helplessly as she all but runs away from him.
Finally, the only thing Danny can think of is to confront her, for working near her and not knowing what scared her off is killing him. When he does chose the moment to make her face him, he calls her by her full name – it has the desired effect because hearing her proper name, in a stern tone coming from Danny, stops her in her tracks.
He's frustrated and confused, but he puts all that behind his practiced mask of 'cool' and tells her exactly what's been going through his mind all day.
"Look, I know there's this thing between us. This chemistry? But every time we're in the same room together today…" He sees a rueful look cross her face, and his stomach drops completely out. Before he can keep the disbelieving hurt off his face he blurts, "Don't tell me you didn't feel it too."
And as he listens to her fumble with hasty apologies, while keeping the real reason she was turning him down tucked away in the recesses of her obscure past, he sees something startling. Lindsay is running from something. And it terrifies her. So much so that she's pushing away every attempt he's made to get close.
The bite of her rejection is muted, and replaced by deep concern. He's somewhat bolstered by her admission that she does "like him a lot," and that he hadn't let his feelings for her get to this point for no reason. But the point now is this: Danny cares about her. A whole lot more than he should. And Lindsay had not been the same Montana lately – the one who flirted back and joined in the jokes.
She is slowly pulling away. From everyone. And it bothers him more that she's pulling away from him. He knows that whatever it is between them is too important to just let slip back into the "lets just do our jobs" mode.
The investigator in Danny wants to push, to dig into her past and get some kind of an answer out of her – something better than "I need to be by myself, to work out some things I thought I'd put behind me."
But the part that secretly loves to see the 'knowing' grin on Lindsay's face – when her eyes glint with that spark of discovery and triumph that makes his heart skip a beat – that part can't bear to see her in distress. If he wants to get close again, Danny knows he can't push her.
So, Danny understands he must be patient. He (somewhat lamely) lets her know that if she needs him, he'll be there. He watches her go, noting the slump in her shoulders and realizes how tired she's looked lately.
He could read the signage written all over her demeanor – 'You Don't Know Me, You Can't Understand' – but he wants to. Danny is inwardly shocked at how badly he does want to know Lindsay Monroe.
But, he thinks…when she's ready…he will know her. She'll let him in and he's sure he'll like her just as much as he does now. Maybe even love her, if she lets him.
Someday.
The End
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Like it? Let me know how I did, because this is my first CSI: NY ficlet. Did I get the characters right? Blame the episode, it took my muse over. FEED the Author's NEED! Press that review button!
Special Thanks to Sean Montgomery for the beta!