I'm only a man with a candle to guide me,
I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me.
A monster, a monster,
I've turned into a monster,
A monster, a monster,
And it keeps getting stronger.

Being afraid is normal, it's a natural emotion. It pushes you to always have the defenses raised, to never lower your guard. It was one of the first things we were taught in the academy.

But what can you do when what you're afraid of is yourself?

Grant Ward is not afraid of anything, he is the perfect agent, even if what you see outside is definitely not what is inside. It's what all belive i'm. But I have fears too, too many. I am a monster, a man who is afraid of his own shadow and this time I don't speak of my Asgardian anger who occasionally return to visit me.

My monster has only one name: John Garrett.

I was only 15 years old when he took me out of the reformatory.

"Let me teach you how to be a man," he told me.

Training with him was the worst thing a kid could ever do, but it made me what I am now: a monster, his little creation. But I'm not done more to create, I can no longer shape as he wishes. It changed me, destroyed me from the inside. It's as if that part of me had died. It made me believe I owed him everything, owe him my own life, when all he has done is take away from a hell to put in a one lot worse.

The reality is that I do not owe him nothing, since I no longer have a life.

My life has run away with Skye.

Now she's sitting with her wrists bound with what was on our team. They tried to get inside the Bus but they were in the minority.

I am no longer that kid, now is the time to do the right thing.

" A penny for your thoughts , son ," Garrett says, startling me .

" Nothing important ," I say , staring at the loading bay where Coulson and others are.

"Hey Grant , I understand what you're feeling ," and so saying he supports me a hand booby shoulder "you are fond of them , especially that girl. I should have known that after all you are not a real robot "and blurts out an evil laugh "Diden't you lost faith in the cause I hope! "

" No sir "

" Well, good . Now go to the girl and let her tell you the damn password. I have no more time to waste on the whims of a little girl. " He replies .

" And the other members of the team? " I wonder .

" Tell them what you want. Just remember that when i come back,I don't want to see any of them breathe , "he says , walking away.

The girl in question is staring at me without fear . Despite everything , I can't stop thinking about her. Of how,after so much time she has managed to make me feel alive. Of how her eyes can make me tremble inside.

If that means love, I am madly in love with Skye.

" The time has come ," Garrett says , returning with a gun in his hand.

He want me to do that for which I was trained :kill people for him. But this time I can't do it, now is the time to disobey an order.

Because I own so much more to Coulson , he tried to give me something to fight for , a family. Because I own so much more to Skye , she taught me what it means to love .

I see them sitting there , and I want to do something.

Coulson tries to reassure them ,May stares into space with his usual expression exactly as Tripp , while Fitz tries to reassure Simmons who cries desperately even though he is scared to death . He is the only one who still believes in me , and I 'm treating exactly as I did with my brothers.

And then there's her, my Rockie . She will not stop staring at me with those eyes that manage to pass me by . Maybe I've lost her forever, but at least she will be free . In the end, she deserves someone better than me.

Now I have to save someone , someone to fight for.

I approach them with uncertainly , Garrett is there and he is certainly still watching and I have to invent something.

" Do what you have to do Ward. No hard feelings . " Says Coulson , while May diden't even look up .

"C'mon Ward , I know that you care about us ," said Fitz , while Jemma is crying and Tripp looks up to stare at me.

Fitz is right, I care about them,To each of them . Coulson is like a father , May is surly that kind of mum you woulden't want to ever have, Jemma and Leo are my little brothers and Tripp is much more than a brother.

But then i arrive to her . She raise those chocolate brown eyes and I feel shaking.

"I know that somewhere, there is still some good in you ," she whispered , " if you have to prove something, this is the time to do it."

And as usual she always manages to read my thoughts. I smile , trying to make her understand my true intentions and with the knife I make them free one by one.

" Go , you are free ," I tell them.

"I knew Ward ! I have always believed! There is still some good in you , " Fitz says .

"Go , before Garrett come back to see why I'm putting so much " I scream , opening the cargo door but Skye remains firm where she is.

"Please Skye " I scream.

"I 'm not leaving without you ," she says , coming closer.

" Skye, goes with them . Please "

" Ward , come with us . You still have time " Fitz presses .

"I have to fix things "

"I love you Grant" Skye says to me , making me miss a beat.

Is this what it feels like to be loved?

" I love you too Skye " I say , kissing her forehead , " I will come to you. I promise "

" Do you promise? "

"I could never leave you again," and in doing so , she runs behind the others . Garrett and I have an unfinished business .

It's never too late to escape from your own demons .