I had a pretty crappy day today. The guy that I've liked basically all last year and all summer, and told me he liked me and lead me on has a girlfriend. And it's not just that I miss him as a guy who I liked, but I was also really good friends with him. And now that we go to different schools, we barely talk anymore. So I'm writing this. Hope you like it, because if I get some good reviews on this, it might make this whole mess worth it. :]

Letting Go

I know there had been something there, some spark, some magic. You were able to make me laugh, and I smiled just thinking about you. I would catch you smiling over at me occasionally during class, and as hard as I tried to stop blushing, I just couldn't. The day you told me how you felt, I thought I was going to float on air. But at the same time I could have puked, because you make me so nervous, but in a good way.

For the longest time I was trying to convince my self that we could make it work. But it is clear to me that you have moved on. When I saw you with her, a girl who's name I don't even know. I'm sure she's sweet, I'm sure she's nice.

But does she make you laugh? Does she make you happy? Did I make you happy?

I thought that maybe we could make this long distance thing work. But I was fooling myself, It's obvious you didn't want to make it work. You are moving on to bigger and better things than your old Hogwarts crush. And that's how people get hurt isn't it? They stick their heart out there, thinking the other person will take good care of it. But I got passed right by, standing there alone, holding my heart out to a person who didn't want it.

I've been waiting, and I've been hoping, that you would say this was all just a ploy to make me insanely jealous. Well, if that's the case it worked. But I've stopped believing that story. You don't want me. I still want you. I've gotten mad, screamed, cussed you out when I was alone in my room, crying over you. I've told myself over and over that you're not worth it, but then somehow end up missing you still.

And now it's clear to me, that I need to say goodbye to you. I need to stop waiting and wishing that you will come riding up on a white horse and tell me it's me that you want, and has been all along. I can't wait around for you, and I'm not going to. It's going to be hard, and it might take a little while to finally not think about every second of the day. But I need to let you go so that I can get on with my life.

So this is the last time I'll say it, I wish it was me that you wanted. But it's over, and I'm letting you go.

"I'll see you around Lee." I say to you as I'm leaving a party of a mutual friend.

"Bye Katie." You smile a smile that used to make my heart flip. But it flips a little less tonight. And that's a start, right?

Wow, I really do feel better after writing that. Make my day a little better and review this story. :]