Princess Star Avarius was bored. This wasn't an unusual occurrence, as her attention span was far from the best. Slouching in her tall, cushioned throne, she spun around in it a few times. It wasn't all that exciting. She looked at the staff in her hands. It used to belong to either Bird Dad or Bird Mom. She couldn't remember which. It had been, what, three years since the last time she saw them? She didn't really miss most of her "family", except for maybe a few siblings.
She waved the staff around and said "Chocolate Sauce Hurricane."
Of course, nothing happened. Star looked at her boring, completely non-magical staff and sighed before chewing on it. It tasted like metal, but chewing on it was just sort of a habit she developed.
She was just about to reach the next stage of boredom, which consisted of loudly groaning "Boooorrrrrreeeeddd!" to any of her minions who happened to be nearby, when she heard the sound of a portal opening and closing behind her, followed by a croaking noise.
"Princess Star!" called a voice from behind. She recognized it to be one of her minions. The big frog guy with the weird accent. He'd said what his name was before, Yigvoney Bullybop or something, but it was way to long and way too complicated, so she usually just came up with nicknames whenever she talked to him, like she did with all of her henchmen. For now, she was calling him "Buff Frog".
"I've tracked down Prince Ludo Butterfly to the Earth Dimension." said Buff Frog. "He is completely unguarded."
"Butterfly..." said Star, glaring at the wall as she could feel the symbols on her cheeks start to flare up. She soon cheered up at the news, as she let out what she wanted to be a menacing evil laugh, but was closer to a deranged giggle. She spun her throne around to face her lackey, but the chair ended up facing the left wall when it stopped. She groaned and slowly adjusted the throne until it faced Buff Frog.
"Great work, Buff Frog." said Star, showing off what she hoped was a wicked smile. "I knew that stupid bird couldn't hide forever. Pretty soon, I'll have that wand, and then I'll show them who the real heir to Mewni is."
Star giggled evilly as she triumphantly raised her staff in the air.
"I can't believe what idiots you all are!"
Star grumpily walked up to her throne and sat down in it, pouting. She and her monster minions had managed to corner Prince Ludo in front of a convenience store, but as it turned out, he wasn't unguarded. He'd made friends with some human boy named Marco or something. He must've been some sort of warrior or something, because he and the prince beat her lackeys with what looked like little effort.
She looked at the monsters, most of whom were pretty beaten up, with an angry frown. "Maybe if any of you would've worked out more, I'd have that wand by now!"
"But the work out room's just half a barbell and a broken stool." said one of the monsters, a fly-like creature Star had taken to calling "Boo Fly".
"Then we'll get some stuff to add to it. Ugh!" said Star, spinning her throne around to face the wall. "Maybe we'll get one of those bags that you hit a whole bunch so that you'll know how to actually throw a punch next time."
She grinned smugly, not that any of them could see her now that she was facing away from them, and said "You guys are lucky to have me in charge. I'm always focusing on the important stuff."
She tried to take off the horned skull she was wearing so that she could scratch her head, only to realize that it was no longer on her head. It must've fallen off back on Earth.
"Augh!" she yelped. "We gotta go back! We gotta go back right now!"
"And who does he think he is, waving around a wand and casting spells like he's some kind of magical princess!"
Star was sitting on a bench with a washbasin right behind her. Two of her henchmen were washing the syrup, which they were all covered in as a result of another failed wand-getting attempt, out of her long blonde hair.
"There's only one person who's gonna be a magical princess, and you know who it is?" said Star.
"Uh, you, your highness?" said one of her lackeys.
"Yes, me, my highness!" exclaimed Star.
She looked at her staff, also covered in syrup, and gave it a lick.
She smiled as she said "Somebody add 'syrup' to the shopping list."
Star sat on her throne, swinging her legs back and forth as she rubbed a few bruises and sore spots she'd gotten during a trip to Quest Buy. She had gotten so close that time, the wand was even in her hands for a little bit. It didn't work, since it was out of charges or something. After a long series of hijinks, she ended up having to be the one to pay for the new charger.
She twirled her staff in the air and said "Rainbow Jellyfish Blast."
Nothing happened, just as expected.
Star let out a groan and said "Someday."
The mewman princess of monsters was lying on her bed, face nearly as green as her dress. She'd been feeling rather icky ever since she ate a whole plate full of oysters during her latest attempt at wand-getting. Her minions had set up a bucket for her by her bedside.
She didn't really need to use the bucket by now, but she was still feeling quite queasy. She decided that no matter how good they tasted, she'd never eat another oyster as long as she lived.
Princess Star was once again sitting at her throne, looking at her army (well, it was a bit small for an army, more like a gang) of monsters.
"Alright, my next plan is one where you all kinda form a ring around me as a 'pain shield'. Any questions?" said Star.
One of her henchman, a two-headed monster who she'd yet to bother coming up with a nickname for, raised his hand.
"What is it?" said Star.
"Uh, are you okay, princess?" said the monster's left head.
"Of course I am." said Star confusedly. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You uh, got a little something on your face." said the monster's right head.
Star felt her own face, soon feeling a weird thing that wasn't there yesterday. Peeling it off her forehead, she saw that it was some kind of papery purple heart. Star raised an eyebrow as she hopped off her chair and made her way to the nearest mirror. Those purple hearts were all over her face, and more were slowly sprouting. The princess didn't know what to make of this. Was it a mewman thing? She wasn't really around other mewmans enough to tell how normal this was. It probably wasn't that big a deal.
"Whatever. I'll be fine." said Star, scratching her cheek as more hearts fell to the ground. She walked back to where her monsters were and said "The important things is that we go to where all the cute guys are!"
Star didn't quite realize what she said until she saw the way her henchman were all staring at her.
"Uh, I mean where the wand is!" exclaimed Star, not sure why she hadn't said that at first. Reaching into her dress pocket, she pulled out her pair of dimensional scissors and quickly cut a portal in the air. She grinned as she walked up to Buff Frog and said "Minion, would you mind giving your princess a froggyback ride to Earth?"
Buff Frog frowned and said "Star, do I really have to give you a froggyback ride?"
"Yes, you have to give me a froggyback ride." said Star, pouting and crossing her arms.
Buff Frog said "I really do not want to give you a-"
"Well maybe I really do not want to keep feeding minions who won't listen to me." said Star.
Buff Frog simply sighed and turned around.
"Yay! Froggyback ride!" cheered Star, climbing onto Buff Frog's back. She raised her staff in the air and declared "To Earth, my lackeys!" as the monsters started heading through the portal.
Star was still picking purple hearts out of her hair later that day. What happened on Earth was rather hazy, but apparently she had turned into some kind of six-armed purple bug monster. Honestly, it sounded kind of cool. Shame she couldn't remember it all.
From what she'd heard, she probably would've been able to to get the wand all by herself, but she was too boy-crazy to focus on anything else before she turned back.
She would've gotten that wand ages ago if it wasn't for stupid Ludo and his stupid cute friend Marco.
Wait, Marco wasn't cute, and she did not have anything even close to a crush on him! Sure, he had that nice hair, and those big brown eyes, and he always smelled pretty nice, but he wasn't cute. Except maybe when he was doing that fighting stuff that he called karate. He was really fit, and he'd probably grow up to be really buff, and-
No, karate wasn't cute, karate hurt. Star realized that she should probably stop thinking about stupid Marco, and how smart he was, and how-
Now that she thought about it, Star was probably going to destroy Marco as soon as she got that wand. Probably.
Star was soon aware of a fluttering sound that was coming from her back. Lifting up her hair and looking into a mirror, she saw that two tiny wings were now sticking out of her back. She smiled as she watched them flap and flutter. At least something good came out of all this.
Star groaned, making sure to make it as loud and draw it out as much as possible.
"Useless! You're all useless!" she said, looking at her henchman. She and her army were all rather bruised after yet another failed wand-getting attempt. It was pretty clear that Ludo and Marco were taking her less and less seriously each time.
"He's like, the size of a bowling pin!" yelled Star, pacing around. "You could just squish him in your bare hands!"
She sighed as she glared at her staff. She should really get somebody to wrangle all of her dumb flunkies.
First thing in the morning, she was going to start looker for a new minion, a smarter minion.