A/N: Here's the second fan fiction(another Hak/Yona one shot) that I've been experimenting with. To be completely honest, I'm not sure I like how it turned out...mostly because it ended up longer and so much more dramatic than I had originally intended it to be. This one shot, an ending of sorts, was born mostly out of my complete frustration with Yona's obliviousness and Hak's emotional suffering. Not only that but I was thinking that Hak and Yona were inevitably drawn together because of circumstance(Soo-won's betrayal). I was thinking about what would happen if Soo-won suddenly entered the picture again and became an available option...so I thought I'd try to kill two birds with one stone. My intention was only to cover Hak and Yona's relationship so I didn't even think about how things came to be, simply that Soo-won's betrayal had been some kind of a misunderstanding. Neither did I think about Hak's future in the political sense. There's your fair warning, and why I had mentioned that this was only an ending of sorts. Anyhow, despite these thoughts and writing this one shot, I'm actually hoping this manga doesn't end with Soo-won continuing to sit on the throne. I do think, however, that it would be great for Yona to display her tremendous character growth by recognizing Hak's feelings without him having to spell everything out for her...as well as for her to confess first since she's in a better position to do so(she being a princess and Hak being her loyal bodyguard/servant).
Please comment and criticize as you see fit. I'd like to know how I can improve.
When Hak thought he heard Yona calling his name he figured he'd finally gone insane. No, that was definitely not Yona, not here in the middle of this forest, this sea of trees. Impossible. With his hsu quandao strapped to his back, he continued walking down the beaten path and just as he had convinced himself that his mind had indeed played tricks on him, he heard his name again. This time, it was from quite close behind and he was certain it was real. What in the name of Kouka was she doing here? For a second, Hak considered making a run for it but something held him back. He followed his instincts and paused, turning around, and waited with his arms crossed over his chest. Princess Yona rounded the bend of trees he had just passed through and skidded to a halt when she spied him, completely out of breath. Obviously, she had been doing some running. After she took a couple minutes to catch some air and compose herself, she looked up at him, relief on her face.
"Princess, what do you think you're doing here?" Hak asked, quite crossly. He was irritated she'd followed him when he'd already made up his mind but, more than that, he was bothered by the fact that she was endangering herself by coming here alone.
"Hak, I was really worried. You should have told me! You can't just-"
"Did you come here by yourself?" He calmly interrupted. "Why are you always so rash? " Anger edged his voice now. "Look around you and stop being so senseless! There are bandits and other dangers in these woods!" Sighing heavily, he realized he had raised his voice at her and instantly regretted it. Was she going to cry now? To counter some of his harshness, Hak softened his expression and uncrossed his arms.
"There's no need to yell at me." Yona's voice and face remained passive. If it had been any other time from the past, what Hak had just done would have upset her. She would have demanded to know why he was being so rude, so mean to her. She knew better now, however. She understood the feelings behind the words. Why had she been so blind all these years? Surprising him, she smiled gently. "Jae-ha and I flew most of the way here until we found you so I didn't come by myself. I asked him to stay back though," she said. "Please don't worry about it, okay?"
"And so Droopy Eyes didn't think twice about the dangers of you following me all alone." Hak muttered. He imagined himself gladly giving Jae-ha an opinion for his carelessness. Pushing the thought aside, he inquired, "Did the others put you up to this?"
Someone most certainly had said something to her. He had told everyone he was leaving except the one person who meant everything to him. Yona shook her head in reply, her eyes flashing with authority.
"I chose to come. It was my decision."
"Go back." Hak stated bluntly.
"Hak, we need to talk."
"Go back, princess. It's not safe for you to be here." He sounded incredibly weary now, and turning on his heels, started walking away. In desperation, Yona cried out his name which was enough to give him pause but as he turned back toward her, he forced a careless smile onto his lips.
"What, you said you would set me free when this was all over, remember? Did you forget? Or were you planning to take back your words? I'm no longer obligated to you, which means I can do whatever I want now. Right?"
Yona was taken aback by his words and his cold demeanor but she immediately decided she wasn't going to let him deter her plans. Even though Hak was standing several feet away, he could see the flashing glare of her purple eyes.
"When we were at the Wind tribe, you tried to leave me behind too. In the end you couldn't," she challenged him, but he merely shrugged at that.
"Things were different then. It was just you and I. Now you have people by your side who would give up their lives to protect you." He continued to stare her down. With a more gentle voice and a genuine little smile, he added, "Don't worry, princess. You're not alone anymore. You won't need me now."
Hearing that, Yona's chest tightened and it became difficult for her to breathe. Her eyes grew wide and her vision became blurry. She could feel a burning sensation filling her nose. Not being able to hold back, the tears slid down her face. Watching her, Hak felt like something inside his chest was on the verge of breaking and he was left feeling completely disgusted with himself. He had only meant to reason with her, not make her feel this way. Frustrated, he raked a hand through his black hair. When he had raised his voice earlier and expected her to cry, she hadn't. She had smiled. Now that he was speaking to her with this gentle voice and a smile on his face, she was breaking down. What the heck was wrong with her? Worst of all, what did he think he was doing making her cry like this?
"You don't get it, do you, Hak?" Yona had lowered her face so he couldn't see her expression but her voice was shaking, her hands clenched tightly at her sides. "You're such an idiot! You're a stupid, stupid…idiot…just like how I was."
She looked up at him with a sad smile, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her expression, her words, and her behavior startled him. His body reacted automatically and he took a couple steps toward her, reaching out to take her into his arms but the reasoning in his head held him back. Hak reluctantly put his arm down. This was for the best, he thought miserably. This princess was no longer his. In actuality…she never was, he admitted. She had always belonged with Soo-won. For the longest time Hak thought he could be forever content with simply watching over the two of them. He had suppressed his feelings and somehow convinced himself into that belief. Then chaos had come along, changing all their lives. He had remained steadily at her side until now. At first, it was simply because he was dedicated to preserving her life. It was his duty. As they journeyed though, he had come to realize that he hadn't been completely honest with himself. There were always excuses for his devotion and excuses for following her, for touching her.
Staring at her now, Hak realized that even if the misunderstanding with Soo-won had never occurred, even if Yona had married her cousin like how it should have been, he never would have been able to spend his life by their side watching their happiness. That outlook had been a delusion from the very beginning, all a mistake. It wasn't that the journey with Yona had changed his mind. It had merely opened his eyes to the reality of his feelings, feelings that he was now fully willing to accept: he loved her with all his being. And it was perfectly okay to be just a tiny bit selfish…wasn't it? He didn't have to have her but that didn't mean that he had to force himself to spend the rest of his life enduring the hurt. Now that any misunderstanding had been cleared, Soo-won would take care of her. He was more than capable. Hak knew that with all his heart. Yona was passionate about her country and her people so it was only proper that she would stand beside the country's current king and rule with him. Most importantly, she had loved Soo-won. She still does, he corrected himself. That thought helped to silence any doubt he had.
"You know, Soo-won's waiting for you. He'll be worried," Hak stated evenly, trying hard to keep his mind and his emotions in check.
Yona shook her head adamantly, wiping away her tears with both hands. Apparently Hak hadn't been paying her any attention at all. She was frustrated and disappointed that he hadn't understood. He could usually read her emotions all too well but she sensed that he was distancing himself. Yona desperately wanted to tell him, to shout out her feelings at the top of her lungs. She had to let him know. Living with the regret of not saying anything to him wasn't an option. She wasn't going to allow it. At the moment though, he was pulling further and further away and that terrified her. In her mind, this wasn't how she'd pictured her confession. She had not expected the pain and tears, and she wasn't sure if she was going to have enough courage to overcome this particular battle.
"Hak, wait…" she started off slowly and nervously. What she said next caught him off guard. "I don't want…I don't want Soo-won waiting for me."
The confused look on Hak's face silently demanded an explanation. Clearly, he didn't think he'd heard her right.
"I did want that…but…that was too long ago, and I've come to realize something else." Yona took a deep breath and as she continued to speak, her voice became stronger, steadier. "A big part of me was asleep for most of my life. I'm fully awake now, Hak…thanks to you and the others."
Yona paused. Her eyes were tearing up again as she tried to smile. Somehow, she found the courage to walk to him, to keep her feet moving until she was close enough to touch him. She reached out and took one of his hands in both of her smaller ones. He didn't pull away but she saw that his eyes and his face looked rather hollow, a face that typically reflected such an array of interesting emotions: happiness, sorrow, anger, amusement, laughter, mischievousness, confusion, indifference, kindness, confidence, composure, arrogance, charisma, and everything in between. She was thinking that she loved all of his expressions. He was her Hak, the person her mind hadn't grasped that she was in love with until more recently but the one who'd always been by her side regardless. He had never asked anything of her in return, always putting her above everyone and everything else...above himself, especially. Imagining what he'd been enduring for so long sent an ache through her chest.
"All this time, I never realized and I never noticed. I'm sorry it took me forever."
"Princess…" He was at a lost for words, his eyes cast downward at the ground in what appeared to be shame.
"I have a name, Hak. And I wasn't going to take back what I said about freeing you."
Hearing those words, his blue eyes were instantly drawn back up to her face.
"I can't, " she continued, her voice breaking. "That would be wrong of me. But…I was hoping to set you free so that…so that…you would have the freedom to choose me."
Feeling his heart skip several beats, Hak realized why she'd called him an idiot. So he really was one, after all. He hadn't comprehended that his princess had fallen in love with him. He could feel his heart racing faster and faster, singing more and more loudly with elation. She really was in love with him. But what about Kouka? She would bring so much to her country if she was queen, he thought. Would it be right to be this selfish?
"Seriously?" he asked, tilting his head as if to study her and attempting with all his might to muster up indifference into his voice. "What makes you think I'd choose you?"
"Tell me that I'm wrong and that you don't love me then." She was crying hard now, all kinds of raw emotion in her voice. Unwillingly, she released his hand. "Say it then, Hak! If you can, I'll do as you say. I'll go, and I won't follow you anymore!"
Hak hesitated; pain, conflict, and surprise all evident on his face. So she was going to challenge him and wager everything on this. He had just turned away in an attempt to hide his sheer frustration when he suddenly felt her arms encircling him from behind, embracing him, her warm cheek pressed against his back…and he found that he couldn't utter those simple, little words. He could feel the slight trembling of her small body against his. Sighing heavily, he turned himself around to look into her tear-filled eyes, his gaze then roaming over the rest of her face.
"If I did that…I would be lying," he quietly admitted. "So please stop crying. That's just not attractive...Yona." And with that, Hak returned her embrace, holding her tightly within the warmth of his chest.
As he held her, he heard her sniffling and gently chiding, "Idiot. Even if it's to protect me, from now on, stop hiding your feelings and your thoughts. Share them with me and let me decide what I want for myself."
Yona's arms tightened around him possessively, making him smile. She drew back just enough to lift her face up at him. As she returned his smile, Hak was reminded of her strength, her courage, and her determination. She was beautiful, and those traits only made her all the more alluring. It was near impossible for him to resist her, something that had always been and would always be. He stared long and ardently at her lips, causing Yona to wonder what was wrong.
"Hak?" she questioned. "Didn't I just say to stop hiding your thoughts?"
"You don't want to know my thoughts right now," he replied playfully, as he brushed a lingering tear from her face.
Still, he slowly lowered his face to hers and even though her cheeks were suddenly burning, Yona didn't cower. She closed her eyes as his lips brushed lightly across her nose once, twice, then melded themselves sweetly to her lips. Shy at first, she was slightly hesitant but as the seconds passed on by, he convinced her to relax with his mouth and tongue. Time ceased and their senses were devoid of everything except one another. Yona's arms were just sliding up around his neck when there was a sudden, loud crash. They pulled apart in surprise, Hak's natural reflex through years of combat training making him instantly reach for his weapon.
"Jae-ha!" Yona exclaimed, staring at the green dragon who was laying in a heap beneath a nearby tree. Grimacing, Jae-ha slowly got up and brushed himself off.
"Oooops," he said, quite sheepishly. "Ouch. That really did hurt."
"Just how long have you been up there in that tree, Droopy Eyes?" Hak demanded, partially agitated with himself for not realizing sooner and partially for the fact that they'd been so rudely interrupted.
"Long enough to witness your immense happiness," Jae-ha replied, smiling slyly and knowingly. Then he shrugged, "I had been hoping you'd send her back my way though."
Hak scowled at that but, inwardly, was greatly relieved that Jae-ha hadn't let her come all the way alone after all. He was thinking of a good retort to throw back at the green dragon when he heard Yona giggling over their conversation. She was looking at him intently, her beaming face as radiant as a warm ray of sunshine. Captivated by her expression, Hak completely forgot about the retort. Instead, the thought to occupy his mind was that he would finally allow himself to be happy.
~FIN