Create, Enjoy, Destroy
Resident Evil is owned by Capcom. My brother and I are just having a good time making fun of it!
This is my first real attempt at my own Resident Evil story that isn't a sarcastic oneshot about cats (although it is sarcastic). It's about Ada getting powers of her own… for disturbing reasons… and tormenting Wesker (among other things.). I'm going for humour here. Rated RR for Really Retarded. Also might contain a lemon later on.
Ada was not happy at all. It didn't help that she just wanted some eggrolls and ended up babysitting her four-year-old niece Ming. She was sure Wesker would not appreciate her dragging the stupid child in.
"Not a word. My stupid sister… I don't know what the hell is wrong with her. I should've avoided my father's restaurant altogether. Instead I have to deal with this. Her name is Ming. She might look cute, but she's a devil. She doesn't speak English either. My sister had to get drunk that night…" Ada complained to Wesker.
"Which sister? The hot one or the one with the embarrassing disposition who makes me cringe?"
"Kim."
"Then take the kid outside and shoot her or something."
"Oh no! Where did she go?" Ming was gone.
"…And why is this a problem?" Asked Wesker.
"That's why!" Shouted Ada as pointed at a bullet hole in one of there employees side.
"Well that takes him off the payroll, heh heh heh" Laughed Wesker as he scratched the mans name off the list.
"Ow whose idea was it to give a 4 year old gun?" Asked the man.
"What gun?" Asked Wesker "Let's see they're all there…Ada?" Asked Wesker.
"What? I didn't know it was loaded!" Said Ada.
"That's what all Asians say. That's why Pearl Harbor happened!"
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese, you racist!"
"Uh…why did you even…forget it, do you have life insurance?" Asked Wesker raising his eyebrow.
"Why are you asking that?" Asked Ada suspiciously.
"Oh no reason, go find your retard of a niece." Said Wesker.
"Oookkkkaaaayyyy whatever." Replied Ada.
As Ada walked out of the room, Wesker turned around and said "Soon my pet, soon" as he stroked the Killer7.
Ada found Ming playing with various samples. It was a good thing most of them were fake or else there would've been real trouble. She took the child and began yelling at her in Chinese. Two of the scientists watched.
"Dude, half-Chinese chick yelling at three-quarter Chinese kid. How hot is that?" The first guy said, picking up the vials.
"She's kind of being harsh, isn't she?"
"You understand Chinese?"
"I'm reading the subtitles. Apparently, 'Ming' means some kind of tea."
"You've never been the same since Wesker changed his outfit."
When Ada went back to Wesker, he was staring at a sketch book. He showed Ming several of the drawings, making sure Ada didn't see.
"Here color these in instead of being a dumb-uss" Said Wesker handing the toddler the sketch book "Hello Subway? Could I get a delivery…What do you mean not after your last delivery boy tried to eat you?!" Shouted Wesker "Ada!"
"What? What do you want I'm on the phone?" Shouted back Ada, trying to get in contact with Kim.
"Can you make dinner tonight? Subway has been getting suspicious ever since the last delivery guy vanished…inexplicably…" Said Wesker.
"Inexplicably! You shot the guy in the head and dragged him in as food for your monsters!" Yelled Ada in reply.
"You need to make food for your monsters!"
"Monsters? Which one, my evil niece or Xiao?"
"Ming and I. The stupid half-Asian cat can wait."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! BE NICE TO MY KITTY!"
"She's loud and keeps me up."
"She can't help it. Her father was a Siamese, and Siamese cats are loud, and she's also in heat."
"Have her fixed."
"She tells me she wants to have children someday. Just like me, hint-hint."
"Not happening. Where's Ming?"
"Not again."
"Well, she's talented. That's something." Wesker said, holding up Ming's drawing.
"Oh lord. She drew me getting killed. Well, after today, that doesn't sound so bad…"
"You know, that can go from drawing to reality really fast."
"Would you stop it with the death threats?"
"Oh me so sowwy"
WHAM
"Stop being so racist you insensitive jerk!"
"Oh, should I look like Willy Wonka?"
"What the heck are you talking about?"
"You have too much blood!" Wesker asked, holding the Killer7.
"Uh, what?"
Bam!
"What the hell, Wesker"
"Hurts like a bitch, don't it?"
"You shot me in the knee for no reason!"
"Go collect your niece and then make dinner!"
One of the random employees walked in, holding Ming, only the girl was minus her clothes. "This yours Ada?"
"Yeah. Just tie her to a chair somewhere." Ada said angrily. "My sister is an idiot. She HAD to get drunk that night and sleep with that guy. And when I get drunk, somebody has restraint!"
"Ada, was your mother Irish?"
"Well, yes, but… hey! Are you implying that I drink too much? That was one time!"
"Which one of you Wesker?" Asked a woman who looked rather like Ada.
"Kim, take the kid before I kill your entire family, including your sister here. I have nightmares about you. Ada, did you have to reveal the secret location of The Organization's top secret base? Remind me to kill you after dinner." Wesker stated. Kim picked up Ming and left without much of a fuss.
"It's a good thing Kim is so stupid."
"I'm still killing you."
Ada smiled. "That sounds good. I hate Kim and everything. My life is a mess. I'll just reincarnate someday, like my father has undoubtedly by now." She was kidding, like she often did, but Wesker was angry and decided to end the threats and start acting.
Wesker picked up the Killer7 again and pulled the trigger.