Title: and the flowers start to bloom
Rating: K+
Character(s): Zuko
Word Count: 1200
Summary: 10 facts about Zuko's childhood.
i.
Zuko was born on a cold winter day, something unexpected for a prince of the Fire Nation. But despite what his father loves reminding him and his sister (Azula was born lucky, you were lucky to be born), he slipped out his mothers' womb easily, whilst Azula took more than half an evening.
Screaming and crying, pounding her fists, already getting her way when she was just five minutes of age, when as Zuko barely cried at all, instead just grasped onto the maids' and helpers' fingers, soft, kind, delicate.
This is the way they go into the world. This is also the way in which they end.
ii.
When he's four, he finds a blade that a soldier must've just left behind. He runs his curious fingers along it, marveling in it's wonder.
This is what he will use someday, he tells himself. This is what he will use to make his family, his court, his nation, his father proud. His daydreams take over, but his finger is still running along the sharp blades' edge until he cuts himself on it.
This is the first moment of pain he remembers his whole life. He throws the dagger on the ground, lips trembling, calling out for his mother and clutches fistfuls of her robes, showing her his wound.
Later, when he's bandaged up and his mother is gone, he picks up the discarded weapon. Runs his finger along it again, thinks about making his family proud again, cuts his finger again.
But this time he does not whine or cry out for his mother. This time he heals himself.
This is the beginning of his self destruction and resilience.
iii.
He's five when he goes to his first royal banquet. It's filled with nobles and queen and kings and servants. Everyone bows to him, he's the prince of course. Heir to the throne.
He finds it surprising at first, that all these people he's never met before are so kind and gracious towards him. Zuko later mentions this fact to his sister.
"Can you believe it, Azula? All those people, they were so nice to us. They all kissed my hand!" He says out loud.
Azula scoffs. Even at a young age, she has a way of making you feel below her just by looking at you. "You're so naive, Zuzu," she responds, using that dreadful nickname Zuko has always despised.
"They're only doing that because you're royalty. Do you think these people actually care about you?"
Zuko lowers his eyes and looks away. He has always been too trusting. He won't fall for this again. He won't trust the likes of these people—shallow, plain, ignorant, common. This is when he knows what separates him and others.
He is royalty, and they are not.
iv.
Despite what most people think, he was already infatuated with honor before he was banished. He wasn't sure when the obsession started, he just knows it overcame his every thought in only a short amount of time.
He would whisper the word over and over again before he went to bed. And even in his sleep, it plagued him. He would twist and turn and mumble fitfully, whispering about honor and courage. His dreams were filled with bronze swords and burning temples and crowned princes and bloody knuckles.
And in the daytime, he would walk around in a haze, thinking of glory and tragic deaths and sacrifice; whilst other children played ball games and practiced their handwriting.
He's only seven when honor consumes everything.
v.
He stares at the fresh welt on his arm and sticks his arm back in the fire. It licks and burns at his skin, he grits his teeth and bites his tongue. He will not cry out.
This is what he deserves. He can take this, he will have to learn. He will have to learn, because he already knows at nine years of age that he will go through much worse pain later on in his life and he must survive this now.
The welts last a lifetime.
vi.
He remembers nothing about his mother the day she leaves and he hates himself for it. He remembers that was a particularly horrible day.
He remembers the fear that crept along his spine when Azula told him that grandfather ordered his father to kill him. He remembers whispering to himself that night, "Azula always lies. Azula always lies. Azula always lies."
He remembers his mother waking him up, telling him that whatever happens he must be brave and that everything she's ever done was for him.
He remembers seeing her walk out the door, dressed in a black robe he's never seen her wear before. He remembers waking up the next morning and frantically searching for his mom.
He remembers how lost he felt (feels) without her.
vii.
Ten whips, ten years old. He doesn't exactly understand why he's being punished. He's done everything his father has asked of him, he's been quiet and complaint and hasn't stepped a foot out of line.
It doesn't matter, he tells himself. He will endure, he always does.
In five weeks, he looks at the marks on his back, they have officially scarred.
In five years, Aang asks him how he got them. "From the perils of obedience." he says, after a long moment.
"Don't you mean disobedience?" he questions curiously, staring up at him with large eyes. He looks back down at Aang.
Zuko has chased him a long time, and has only become friends with him recently but he already knows he will never understand this. Zuko doesn't bother explaining it to him.
"No." is his final answer.
viii.
He's thirteen when he speaks out against his father at a war meeting. He doesn't miss the gleam in his fathers' eyes or the smirk upon his lips. He feels unimaginable pain when his Ozai permanently scorches his skin—the scar of the now banished prince (cursed for a lifetime).
He doesn't thank his uncle for coming along with him. The only thing he can think about is restoring honor to his father (he doesn't know Iroh has been more of a father to him than his real one ever will).
ix.
It's been a long few months and he's started to lose hope. Then he sees a blast in the sky, he will always remember that as a life changing moment.
Zuko has a hard time disguising his surprise when he meets the Avatar. He's a small child, barely two-thirds of his own height. He looks into his eyes and already sees his entire destiny.
This is a boy that will die. And he will help kill him.
x.
He is seventeen when he is crowned firelord. He looks around at his throne room, and he can't help but think that everything has changed even though he was just here a few months ago.
The only difference is, he used to be groveling on the ground and now he's on the throne. He tells himself that he's happy to be here, he's happy to be home (but even he knows this will never be his home because home is where your loved ones are) but the weight on his shoulders feel heavier than ever.
He sits upon his throne and fulfills his duty as firelord. The crown atop his head barely weighs anything but it rests so heavy.
He has never really restored his honor.
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