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Chapter one: the beginning

Willow fingered nervously the water gun full of holy water and the large cross she kept in her pocket. That had taken a bit of explaining when her mother saw it. After all she couldn't simply explain that the a cross was much easier to make and to hold to ward off vampires then a David's star or a roll of parchment with 'Shma Israel' on it, and had she mentioned pentagrams her mother would have died of shock. So she made up a story about a comparative religions study and… Willow's train of thought was cut off by the sound of heavy footsteps hurrying behind her. Quickly turning around holding the cross and water gun in front of her Willow sighed with relief when she recognized the person following her as Angel, her best friend's boy friend.

"Angel, you scared me!"at her greeting a peculiar smile crossed Angel's face for an instant. "Hi Willow, why are you walking by yourself? You know it isn't safe in this town after dark." "Hey, I got my cross and holy water, I'll be fine. Besides the sun only set 15 minutes ago most vampires aren't up and about yet." "True"Angel agreed "But it still isn't safe, let me walk you home"

Despite Willow's brave words she wasn't as confident as she tried to appear and so readily agreed and resumed walking home with Angel beside her and considerably more relaxed. After a minute or two of walking in silence Angel spoke up diffidently "So…did you see Buffy today?""No, why?""Um, well…We had a sort of a fight this morning and I hadn't seen her""I hadn't seen her all day but I thought she was spending the day with you"Willow said, suddenly concerned.

"It wasn't too serious a fight, was it?"she added "Oh, no. It was nothing really, I decided to change my name back to Angelous and she didn't approve""But, but I thought you changed your name to try and separate yourself from everything the daemon did""Well yes I did. That was sort of the point" Angel said his voice going suddenly gravely and harsh as he grabbed Willow's arm. Looking at him in surprise Willow almost screamed seeing his distorted 'game face' instead of the face of a handsome young man which had been there an instant before. "wha…What do you mean. Angel"Willow asked trying, and failing to keep her voice steady. "Well, you see since I was getting rid of that pesky soul there was no need to 'separate' myself from my actions"Angelous grinned and bit down on willow's neck as she began to scream with all her might.

Even had Sunnydale been a normal town where people react to screams and actually remember the next day if they'd seen a dead body or not it is doubtful if any passerby would have heard Willow since Angelous had timed his attack to when the two of them where in the middle of the park , farthest away from any houses. As it was even had anyone been close enough to hear her they wouldn't have registered it. Fortunately Willow had a very strong magical ability and although she had just began training it meant that her scream was accompanied by a mental scream, unaffected by physical distance. It was however affected by emotional distance so Willow Rosenberg's parents who should have gotten the most accurate impression only got the feeling that she was in danger from a man and that it was urgent they find her so after failing to reach her by phone they simply booked an earlier flight back home from the convention and went to sleep. Jenny Calendar who'd just began teaching Willow how to use her magic was both close to Willow and as a witch possessed strong magical ability herself so she got more information then other people from the scream. Unfortunately, not being born in Sunnydale it took Jenny's subconscious time to realize it was hearing something important and it was several minutes before Jenny woke and knew both that Willow was in danger and where Willow she was. Giles, Buffy's watcher also liked Willow but was psychically 'deaf' as a result of his past magical adventures.

Buffy and Xander, Willow's best friends knew immediately she was being drained by a vampire and that she'd been on her way home. Buffy due to her connection with Angel knew which vampire but even starting off the instant Angel attacked it still took them several minutes to get to where Willow was attacked by which point both willow and Angelous were gone leaving only willow's bag and cross and blood splashed on the ground.

Throwing his stake on the ground in frustration Xander cursed "Why the Hell didn't Willow call me to walk her home!"Xander snarled at the world, standing beside Buffy who'd arrived seconds before him too late to do anything but sit on the ground staring at the blood Angelous's act had left splashed on the ground like the devil's ink blot.

"If only I'd not have broken off the study session, or if I'd gotten here sooner…"

"It wasn't your fault, Xander. It was mine"Buffy whispered "What? Buffy, there is no way you can save every one. You had no idea Willow was walking home alone, you...""That's not what I meant" Buffy's cry interrupted him. "Angelous was the one who attacked her and it was all my fault!"Buffy screamed at him hysterically and collapsed in tears.

Feeling his need to comfort his friend douse his anger and frustration Xander knelt down beside Buffy "It's okay Buffy, you couldn't have known, Angel acted like he was one of the good guys. He had everyone fooled, even Giles believed him."Lifting her head Buffy stopped crying and for an instant Xander thought he'd managed to reassure her. Then he saw her eyes, an instant later Buffy was standing holding Xander up by his shirt "Angel WAS one of the good guys you idiot! He had a soul and was doing his best to help people, and his best was more then you'd ever do. Everything was fine until he lost his soul!"Hearing a gasp behind her Buffy dropped Xander and turned around to see Giles and miss Calender standing there in shock "Angelous, the scourge of Europe has returned?"a pale faced Miss Calender asked "how?"

"Apparently his curse has a happiness clause in it. If he ever experienced a moment of pure happiness the curse would be gone."Buffy snarled "Oh, no"Jenny's face grew even whiter as she whispered in horror.

"I still don't see how that makes it your fault"Xander said I mean you didn't know about it"Buffy's flushed with embarrassment. "His one moment of happiness was when he…when we…When, you know…"Buffy exclaimed. "If I hadn't gone out with him everything would have been fine."

"No, Buffy, the fault, if it's anyone's fault other then Angelous's is mine"Jenny said. "My name is Jennifer Hyreck Romany, and I was sent by the elders to insure Angelous continued to suffer by casting a misery spell on him which would have insured that even in times of greatest pleasure Angel would not experience a moment of 'pure joy'. I didn't know about the happiness clause so when I saw Angel was doing so much good and trying so hard to make up for the past I didn't cast the spell."

"Yes, but if I hadn't …"Bufy began insistently "Excuse me, but I think it would be best if we continued this discussion elsewhere. Preferably somewhere vampires can't enter"Giles's cultured English accent interrupted Buffy. "I believe my apartment is closest."After a moment Buffy nodded her agreement and slowly stood up with a last guilty look at the site of her best friend's murder and then followed by Xander and miss Calender she wiped her tears and followed Giles towards his apartment.