Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. (My disclaimers used to be a lot more clever than this, but… meh.)

Notes: Wow. I have posted a fanfic on this is what I like to call "a miracle". Um… yeah… that's all, I guess. D:

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The date was June 6th, 2006. Pip Pirrup should have seen it coming, but the importance of the date had failed to cross his mind, and he just wasn't expecting it.

As a fiery hole opened up in his bedroom floor at 6:00 in the morning, Pip found himself wondering what the meaning of all this was. It should have seemed odd, but it didn't. Everyone in South Park was used to such unusual things happening that a flaming pit suddenly appearing in the floor was but a mere speck in the grand scale of all things.

Pip sat up in his bed, staring. The hole seemed to be so deep that it could have reached the most abysmal chasms of Hell.

What Pip didn't know was that it actually did reach Hell... the seventh layer, to be exact.

A dark figure began to rise from the flames, and Pip was not surprised to see the glint of a distinctive pair of red eyes.

Damien Thorne had returned.

It had just so happened that he had spawned in the middle of Pip's bedroom.

The hole closed, and Damien looked around the room awkwardly at the various posters and furniture, realizing that he was not outside, by Stark's Pond, where he had been meaning to appear. "Um..."

"Hello, Damien," Pip said, almost passively, in that unfortunately adorable British accent, smiling in a friendly way at the hellspawn. That was Pip, always amicable, even if you broke (or in this case, materialized) into his bedroom at 6:00 in the morning.

"Hi, Pip." Damien was still trying to figure out how he had ended up in Pip's bedroom. Do I really have such bad aim?

Pip jumped up out of his bed, and Damien tried hard not to laugh at the sight of Pip in his pajamas, a baggy Terrance and Phillip t-shirt and his red boxers. There was nothing wrong with them, really, it was just such a casual outfit compared to his usual school clothes that it was somehow funny. It didn't look right on Pip.

For a moment, Damien was afraid Pip was about to tackle him in glee or something as he walked nearer, but he stopped about a foot away from Damien, still smiling, rocking back and forth on his feet with his hands behind his back as if he were a young girl. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Here?" Damien looked around the room again. "I didn't mean to come here. I was supposed to show up at Stark's Pond."

"Oh. I suppose you must have missed," Pip replied, running over to his bed and jumping back onto it to pull up the blinds on the window. He pointed outside. "Stark's Pond is just down the street from here. But why were you trying to go there?"

"Dad sent me up to get him some Jagermin's S'more-flavored schnapps," Damien answered. Satan was always making him do stupid stuff, but this was just ridiculous. Couldn't he get it himself?

"Ah. So it's just coincidence that you're here on 6/6/06 at 6 o'clock in the morning, then?" Damien looked at Pip's alarm clock, apparently not having realized the date and time. He wondered whether his father knew or not, but didn't say anything about it aloud.

Pip continued, deciding not to wait for an answer. "I think we have a bottle of Jagermin's S'more in the liquor cabinet downstairs, if that would be easier since you're already here," Pip offered, but Damien shook his head. "I should get him a new bottle. I have no reason to steal yours. Where's the nearest liquor store?"

Pip thought about this for a moment. "I think there's one somewhere near Tom's Rhinoplasty in the main part of town, but I'm not positive about that..."

Damien sighed. He had no clue where Tom's Rhinoplasty was, let alone the main part of town. It had just been too long since he'd been there. Part of him was now thankful he had wound up in Pip's room, because otherwise he would have been left to wander around aimlessly looking for the store on his own.

"I don't know where any of those things are," Damien admitted, immediately feeling stupid, but Pip didn't seem to care. "Could you just give me directions or something?"

"Are you sure you don't want our bottle?" Pip asked again, never having been one to give very good directions. Damien considered idly that Pip may have just wanted to be annoying, or that, maybe, Pip didn't want him to leave. He was sure Pip was just trying to be nice, as usual, but one couldn't help but wonder.

"No, I don't," Damien answered in a finalized way. He was about to tell Pip to just write him some goddamn directions already when he noticed that Pip was over at his dresser, pulling a pair of pants out of a drawer. He quickly pulled them on, grabbed his distinctive hat off the top of the dresser and put it on his head, then turned to look at Damien. "Let's go, then."

He gave Pip an odd look. "Who said you were coming?"

"I can't write directions worth a pig's arse," he explained. "If you insist on actually going to the liquor store, I'm going to have to just show you the way, unless you're in the mood to stumble around looking for it by yourself." Damien had, as was said before, already admitted to himself that that was exactly what he didn't want to do, so he gave in and let Pip lead him downstairs and out the front door, and they began their trek into town.

"You're lucky that Principal Victoria canceled school for today," Pip stated, trying to strike up a conversation to break the tense silence between them as they walked along the road. "If she hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to help you."

Damien's eyebrow quirked. "Why did she cancel school?"

"Well, with the strange things that happen here so often, the parents and teachers are paranoid about having school on 6/6/06. I don't know if they thought you were going to come back and cause problems or something..." Pip tried not to let on that he had secretly been hoping Damien would come back, for he was in desperate need of a friend... and Damien was the closest thing to a friend he had ever had. He was still relentlessly picked on by the other kids, and all he knew how to do in response was be kind and hope that someday he would be accepted. He had been living in South Park for eight years now, though, and he was still being tormented (though they finally seemed to have caught on that he was, in fact, British, and not French), so their additudes toward him didn't seem likely to change.

For now, he ignored these pent-up emotions and went on talking to Damien. "But you did come back, albeit for much different reasons." He giggled at the irony of the situation, and Damien glared darkly at him, annoyed. "It's not my fault my dad makes me do stupid things. It's like that's all he created me for, to run errands for him because he's too lazy."

"Created?" Pip had never bothered to think about how Damien had been born. He had unknowingly assumed, not knowing that Satan was actually gay, that he had some kind of Hell-queen who had given birth to Damien. It didn't occur to him that demons were typically conjured up.

"Yeah, my dad basically spawned me," Damien explained. "You didn't know that?"

"No," Pip responded simply. They were now walking past Stark's Pond, and he glanced at it, admiring the sight of it in the early morning, when it was still somewhat dark out and the moon still hung in the sky, but the sun was slowly coming up in the opposite direction of it, giving off just enough light to make everything visible.

The quiet was becoming uncomfortable again, and this time it was Damien who spoke up. "How soon will we be there?"

"We're pretty close," Pip answered. "See? Town's right there." He pointed at the cluster of buildings down the road. "Let's hope they're open. It's a little early..."

"They better be open," Damien grumbled. "If I come back and don't have the booze, my dad's don't going to be very happy."

"They probably will be," Pip assured him. "Most places in this town are open 24/7, since no one ever knows if or when someone might stumble into town. We get a lot of odd visitors."

As if on cue, a UFO, which apparently had been hidden under some sort of cloaking device, revealed itself above them, shining its lights.

They looked up at the spacecraft, the bright light stinging their eyes and making them water.

"Great," Damien remarked sarcastically as he shielded his eyes. "Visitors." He could only hope that these unwelcome visitors wouldn't interfere with his trip to the liquor store.

Unfortunately for him, they planned on doing just that, and not a second later, Pip and Damien were beamed up into the ship.