Before she even looked outside, Rei knew it was snowing. The usually peaceful atmosphere of the Hikawa Temple was somehow more silent, calmer, as though any word one might speak would fade into that all-encompassing quiet before it could reach a listening ear.
She dressed quickly, in the traditional garb required for her role as miko of the Temple. Her bare feet padded softly down the long hallway, as she made her way to the storage room in search of a broom to sweep the snow from the Temple steps.
She shivered as her bare feet touched the chilled bricks of the front steps. There were only three steps to the Temple doors, but they were wide and long, and covered with a few inches of pure, powdery snow. Quickly, she swept the top step clean, admiring the way the snowflakes flittered in the air, falling in a gentle arc to the white ground.
Her toes curled, already white with cold, but she didn't intend to be out here much longer. She only had two more steps to clear.
She was nearly done when the sound of the temple gate creaking open drew her attention. The blond man standing just inside the gate with his hands thrust in the pockets of his leather jacket gave her pause. She looked at him for a long moment, taking in the sight of him. Then, slowly, she turned her back on him and continued sweeping.
For a long while he stood there, watching her. His eyes traced the smooth lines of her face, admiring the pink glow the cold air brought to her pale cheeks, and the way the gently drifting flakes of snow stood out starkly against the inky black of her hair. It lay in a straight, silky fall down her back, a little longer than he remembered.
"Rei."
She stopped sweeping, but stubbornly refused to look at him.
"Leave," she said. Her voice was coolly neutral.
"Rei, it's been four years now. Will you ever forgive me?" She heard him move forward, snow scrunching beneath his boots as he walked slowly towards her.
"God forgives, Jadeite. I will pray for your soul." She resumed sweeping, conscious of the small distance between them, of the soft sigh he released.
"But you won't forgive me." It was a statement, not a question. She shook her head, tossing her black hair over her shoulders.
"I can't forgive you for the things you did. I can't forgive you for the people you hurt. You haven't atoned for your sins. Your present good deeds do not exonerate your previous evil deeds, Jadeite." Her eyes welled with tears, and she blinked hard, willing them not to fall.
"My name's Jed, now," he said, rocking back on his heels.
"I know," she replied.
"I love you. I want to marry you. Doesn't that mean anything? I stayed on Earth so that I could be with you."
"Your mistake," Rei said harshly. The snow fell just a little harder, finely layering the just-cleared steps with white.
"Rei, it's useless to sweep while it's snowing. At least wait until it stops," Jadeite said, reaching forward as though he would take the broom from her hands. She sidestepped him swiftly, bare feet sliding through the fine white powder. She no longer felt the cold.
"Take your own advice, Jadeite. It's useless for you to come here. You want something I can't give you. You should know that by now," she said, finally meeting his gaze.
"I can't stop coming, Rei. You know that." He slid his fingers through his blond hair, ruffling the cool strands. He sighed harshly. "Rei, I know you love me."
"Yes," she said regretfully. "But not enough. Not enough to forget."
"I'll keep coming back," Jadeite replied.
"I know," Rei said.
"I'll be back next winter."
"I know," Rei repeated.
They stood in silence a few moments. Jadeite stared at her as though he could see right through her. She desperately hoped she couldn't. Before she could move away, he bent forward, kissing the top of her head. Her silky black hair was cold against his lips. Drawing back, he looked down into her face, but it was a well-composed mask, a look of bored nonchalance he'd seen on her lovely features for years. He wished he had the power to break through that mask to the emotions lying heavy beneath it.
"Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up," he commented carelessly.
"Maybe you should," Rei replied noncommittally. The cool look on her face never wavered for an instant. Jadeite sighed.
"Goodbye, Rei," he murmured.
"Goodbye," she said, even as he turned away from her, walking away down the path. He was almost to the gate when he heard her voice.
"You were late this year. I thought you weren't going to come."
He turned towards her, but she was sweeping the steps diligently, taking care not to look at him.
"Yes. Sorry. I had some unavoidable business to attend to. I'll be here sooner next year," he said, lips twisting in a wry smile.
"See that you are," she said. He took a moment to memorize the sight of her, the last glimpse he would have of her for an entire year.
"You're never going to say yes, are you," he asked.
"No," she replied seriously, "I'm not."
He imagined he might have heard an edge of regret in her soft, cool voice.
"I'll keep coming, in case you change your mind," he said.
"Suit yourself," she responded. But she watched as he walked away, disappearing into the snow swirls farther down the street. Swallowing hard, she wiped a few tears from her face and went back inside the temple to pray.
Rei loved the winter. Winter was when he came. For one moment, she imagined saying yes and living happily ever after.
But Rei had seen her future, and he had no place in it. She could not jeopardize the fate of the world for her own happiness.
Kneeling before the Great Fire, Rei closed her eyes and prayed for the strength to keep saying no to the only man she would ever love.