Characters: Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes, Becca Barnes, JARVIS, multiple OCs

Pairings: Natasha Romanov/Bucky Barnes (romantic), Bucky Barnes & Becca Barnes (family), Natasha Romanov & Becca Barnes (friendship)

Warnings: mentions of child torture, mentions of child death, mentions of PTSD

Natasha was absolutely positively not nervous and she would punch anyone who said otherwise. Why would she be nervous? She had only agreed to go with James to his sister's house for New Year's, it was no big deal. Except she'd never met said sister because she really hadn't known James had any living family besides Steve until a month ago. He hadn't offered to take her to see them even though his sister just lived in upstate New York and he talked to Becca on the phone every day and video chatted with his niece Xiomara and grandnieces Rikki, Leela and Jamie at least once a week ever since he was convinced to contact them. She was pretty sure Steve was the one who coaxed him into reconnecting with his sister; Steve mentioned visiting Becca several times when he woke up after being frozen and telling her about what happened to her brother 7 years prior during the Project Insight/Winter Soldier/HYDRA revelation. Natasha hadn't minded James not offering to take her to meet his family before now because she had missions and he had work to do on himself and maybe that meant rebuilding the relationship he had with his sister who was actually supposed to be 19 years younger than him but showed all her 81 years (rather gracefully) in private.

Natasha had never done this before, the whole meet the family thing. James is the only real boyfriend she'd ever had in all her 50+ years and the first time round neither were in a place where "meeting the family" ever came up but here she was. To make matters worse it was just her and James going seeing as how Steve went with Sam to his mother's for the holidays (thankfully for him he'd already met much of Sam's family so he'd be fine). Pepper went to her mother's as well and brought Tony and Rhodey with her (not that Natasha would want Tony there anyway but Pepper she'd be happy to have and she wouldn't mind Rhodey coming). Clint was spending the day with Bobbi who he'd reconnected with and she wanted them to have their time, they both deserved it. Darcy was spending her time in London along with Selvig, Thor and Jane so no help there. Nick was off doing god only knows what with she didn't even know who and didn't want to know. Sharon had finally worked up the balls to ask Maria on a date and they were spending the day together so it looked like Natasha was on her own. Again though, she wasn't nervous so it was completely okay. She was so okay in fact that she had no qualms against beating a helpless punching bag to death and not allowing anyone in the Tower (which was really just James, Bruce and Betty) entry into the gym under pain of death. This was why when JARVIS informed her she had a visitor at the door she proceeded to punch the bag clear off the hook and loudly into the wall, which would intimidate most of her housemates and send them away.

"I'm told to inform you that, and I'm quoting here, 'your little stunt won't work'. The person in question is still there. Perhaps I should allow them entry, I believe you'd much prefer that Agent Romanoff." JARVIS said.

"And why do you think that?"

"Because it's Sergeant Barnes and he is particularly impervious to your attempts at warding off company. Also if I don't open the door he'll just climb in through the air vents and I know how much you worry- sorry, detest when he does that."

Damn Clint for showing James the air vents. She thought.

She still hadn't forgiven him for that but she did decide to let JARVIS' little slip up on her feelings slide mostly because he was right; she did hate when James was in the air vents. She worried he would be up there while Tony was experimenting and the scientist/engineer/lobbyist would cause an explosion to go off in them. She wouldn't be entirely sure it'd be an accident; she didn't want to chance it with the registration act debacle going on and the Winter Soldier possibly having assassinated Howard Stark debacle going on and the general tension between Rogers and Stark spilling over to all the other residents of Avengers Tower and pulling the already tentative team apart. She didn't care how this thing went down as long as no one laid so much as a finger on James. And, okay maybe the threat of retaliation from a foggy headed, guilt-ridden Tony Stark was weighing on her and some senators and citizens of the great U.S of A were chomping at the bit to execute James for war crimes or at least dump him in Magneto's old cell under the Pentagon, some even suggested using him as a weapon against America's enemies and she'd sooner give herself over to Rodchenko's cruel hands before she let anyone put strings back on him and move him around like a pawn on their chessboard but that did not mean she was nervous. She did not get nervous.

"Whose side are you on here, JARVIS?" Natasha asked with a sigh.

"I wasn't aware there were sides, Ma'am."

"Uh-huh. Fine, let him in." She said, moving to sit on the edge of the boxing ring. She watched James enter the room. He was already fully dressed and ready even though they had five hours to go. She had to admit he looked good in his dark slacks, purple silk button down and dark vest. His hair was pulled back in a messy bun (he still refused to cut it all off though he maintained it and kept it at an agreeable length so she didn't mind it), he wasn't bothering to wear gloves to hide his metal hand like usual and his sleeves were actually rolled up, probably because he was going to be around family who he trusted and loved and who accepted him for who he was. Not that she knew anything about that.

Well not completely. Ivan hugging her close to his chest against the cold flashed through her mind along with a red headed woman playing piano and smiling at her while a blonde man danced with her. And the last thing she wanted to do was think of her fragmented childhood memories when despite their shared Red Room experience and time as weapons to be used by others his childhood was happier than hers in spite of the Depression. She was half tempted to rip off his clothes and keep him busy the rest of the night but she didn't need to distract him because she wasn't nervous and she wasn't going to run from this, she and James both agreed they were done running from each other.

"Nice job, you clearly showed the punching bag no mercy." He said, stopping two feet in front of her.

"Well, I've got a reputation to maintain and mercy isn't really my thing."

"Apparently timeliness isn't either. We've got three hours to go."

"Five hours."

"I talked to Bex yesterday and told her we were going to come a couple hours earlier to help her finish cooking and setting everything up. Besides that way you'll meet my sister before Xiomara and the girls even get there."

"Great." Natasha deadpanned.

"Oh come on, don't be like that. Becca's fine, she's kind-hearted and accepting. Trust me you're a lot better than the girls I used to bring home. One girl broke my great-great aunt's urn. That wasn't fun to clean up. Another girl stole my Mama's good Sunday shoes and another smoked through the whole visit, all three hours of it."

"Yeah because killer for hire is a real leg up to clumsiness, petty thievery and chain-smoking."

"Well you're not much different from me where that's concerned and they accept me, Natya.

"You're their family." He shot her a dubious look and she had to concede that they had seen that family isn't always all it's cracked up to be a few times over.

"Either way you didn't want to do those things you did, James. HYDRA and Karpov forced you."

"That's not exactly true. While I didn't want to do it, I didn't not want to do it. I didn't want anything for a long time back then. Well besides you and that's a completely different story. Point is..." He trailed off while walking closer to her. He trailed his hands down her arms, the temperature contrast a comfort to her in its familiarity.

"You shouldn't be giving me immunity for everything I've done and punishing yourself for the same thing. My oba poluchili krasnyye v nashikh knigakh. My mozhem unichtozhit' yego vmeste." *(We've both got red in our ledger. We can wipe it out together).* Natasha smiled at his words. She'd said the same thing to him when she convinced him to come back to New York with her, when they restarted their relationship and when the memories and ghosts in his head got really bad.

"Besides even if Becca doesn't approve, you'll have Jamie's vote. You're her favorite avenger. She's has a Black Widow teddy bear and pajama set." Natasha rolled her eyes, not taking him seriously.

"Don't believe me, you'll see. Either way, Becca will adore you. You kick ass, take names and you're home before dinner most nights even if you can't cook worth a damn." Natasha pushed him away a bit as he chuckled. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it before pulling her up from the edge of the boxing ring.

"Come on, I'll help you pick out an outfit." She let him pull her along and help her pick out an outfit not because she was nervous or anything but because James had good taste.

He set the water for her shower, helped her lotion her body and pick out a nice short sleeved cream colored dress with gold accents that stopped just above her knees. He watched with amusement as she spent ten minutes debating whether she should wear stockings or not and ultimate she pulled on an off white pair with black Mary Janes and then helped her curl her hair before they finally left. The drive over was an hour and a half and was largely spent in silence which both preferred over meaningless words spoken to fill up a room before they arrived to the cottage hidden in the woods near a stream where Rebecca Proctor-Barnes decided to call home. She came outside before they even exited the car. She was average height with hair that was whiter than it was gray, she did have wrinkles and moved delicately but she leaned casually against the door frame with an air of ease around her and a smile that easily knocked off a decade if not more. Seeing her most people would assume her in her mid to late 60s rather than her early 80s. She could practically feel James' muscles relax and the guilt borne tension he usually didn't ever manage to shirk besides when he was alone with her or with Steve seemed to melt away. She could see his smile, no his grin, out of the corner of her eye. That just made her think Becca's approval was all the more prudent.

"You coming?" He asked but didn't wait for her answer. He turned off the engine and then climbed out of the car. She watched him jog to the porch and the two siblings greeted and embraced warmly, never mind that through an unfortunate series of events Becca could pass more for his mother or even his grandmother than his sister. James said something that made Becca laugh, an accomplished pianist playing Beethoven's Sonata No. 29 Hammerklavier opus 106, Becca's laugh was just as complicated to describe yet all around a pleasant sound. One she probably wasn't going to hear directed at her. Not that she minded, she wasn't nervous or worried about any of this.

Okay, drop the crap Natalia.

So maybe she was nervous about this in the way dumping all her dirty secrets and crooked past on the internet had made her. Not only was she meeting James' sister but his niece and both were old enough and of sound enough mind to understand the horror and magnitude of the things she'd done and had no familial obligation to grant her any immunity let alone forgiveness (and yes, they were two different things). She'd also be meeting his grand-nieces all under the age of 18. She had hurt children before, manipulated them, killed them even. She had watched others, men, torture children. She had seen the hope in their eyes that she would save them, that there was some part of her that was maternal enough to spare a child but she had done nothing to save those children. She stood by quietly and taunted them with her presence and watched the hope and then the life fade from their eyes. Then there was her, Tatianna Drakov, the one child she had had the gall to actually not just outright kill but torture before doing so.

Tatianna, who had no fault and committed no sin but had the misfortune of having a father who had made too many enemies and rich enemies at that who would pay top dollar to see Drakov lose the most precious thing to him over bad business. Tatianna, who had unfortunately lived in a world where a one woman disaster like the newly escaped Black Widow was numb and grief stricken and confused and all around not fully mentally intact but had a frail will to survive that she was desperately trying to grip and cling on to so she would have no qualms against destroying a little girl for money. Tatianna, who had screamed and cried herself hoarse until the very end when she had accepted her death and did the one thing that broke through to Natasha in its unexpected nature and simplicity, Tatianna had told her she forgave her and then slipped off to whatever awaited her after death. Tatianna, whose body Natasha had sobbed over while rolling up in tarp to deliver to her father. Tatianna, who was the same age as James' youngest grandniece.

James knew about Tatianna, the thread that broke the already tenuous will Natasha had to live and left her vulnerable for Clint to catch her. She had nightmares about her and she had told him the truth after she woke up to find that she had a gun pointed at his chest and had pulled the trigger. Apparently, she'd done that four times before however she never woke up and hadn't pulled the trigger until that particular night but he had had enough initiative and good sense to take out the bullets in all the guns within her reach to avoid her causing any real bodily harm. Once her heart returned to her chest and she came down from the panic attack that potentially killing James in her sleep caused she confessed to him about everything she'd done in her mercenary days after she escaped her masters in gritty detail (not detailed enough to give him an episode but enough to get the goriness of what she'd done to not only the little girl but whoever she was paid to kill across). He hadn't placated her, knowing that's not what she needed or wanted, instead he told her about a family he had killed including four children all under the age of 7. There was never going to be any way to make what they'd done right and they both secretly agreed those children they had killed would be permanent red spots in their ledgers, they wouldn't dishonor them by trying to scratch them out, but the memories of what she did always made her subconsciously slip into a fight or flight mode with either being likely. However, she had promised James and he seemed excited for her to meet his family.

No more running, Natalia... Natasha, no more.

She steeled herself and made herself open the car door with as much grace as she usually did anything with and leisurely walked to the pair, allowing them time to catch up without her interfering. It seemed she came at the just the right moment though because both immediately turned when she was at the bottom of the steps. James held his hand out to her and helped her up before settling her to his side and across from his sister. She was a grown woman and like James said she kicked ass and took names so she introduced herself before he could do the intro for them. Becca's response was not what she expected.

"Buck told me you were beautiful but he obviously understated it." She said with her age-defying smile and piano piece laugh. Natasha might've blinked a little in surprise before making herself speak.

"He's told me a lot about you too."

"Yes, I've sung both of your praises. This is the part where you do things, bonding things. Tell each other embarrassing stories about me in the kitchen. Natalia can't cook to save her life but she's good with a knife." Natasha had just about a minute to realize James was setting her up before he was herding the two into the open door.

"I'll go to the Farmer's Market and get a couple bottles of cider Becca, and some eggnog for Jamie too."

"The Farmer's Market is a 30 minute drive." She pointed out with a knowing look.

"I know. Bond and things. I'll be back in an hour, I love you both." Just like that he was off. She made sure to glare at him when he turned around to smile at her innocently but her glare just made him smile even more before he pulled off and away. Her glower followed the car out of sight before she felt an arm loop through hers and begin directing her further into the cottage.

"Don't worry about that, I'm sure your cooking can't be that bad."

"No, it's bad. Burning water bad, I usually leave that up to James." Natasha answered, a little surprised Becca was so open and inviting to her.

"Well, we'll change that. I need to get to know my new sister, nothing better to bond over than food." Natasha stopped just before entering the kitchen.

"You know what I've done, what I was before…" Becca looked at her with her expression still open before speaking.

"Yes I do know, just as much as I know what Bucky's done." Becca sighed before stepping into the kitchen, moving to lean on the island and turning to Natasha.

"Bucky came here once after a hearing with the Senate committee. It was raining enough to cause a tempest but there comes this banging at my door after midnight. I open it and there he is, in a suit and tie, soaking through and through from head to toe. I was frightened he was going to survive 70 years of brainwashing only to let the flu get him. Before I could get him to come in and dry off he just started telling me everything. Everything he remembered doing, all the blood on his hands. I think he wanted me to hate him but in the end I think telling me made him feel better about living with it. You want me to hate you too, to want you nowhere near my brother but why would I want that? Things are different now. Bucky used to bring home some girl he fancied himself in love with every two days. He was younger then. Even though he "died" at 28 he was still a boy mostly even though he was a man. He couldn't keep one girl because he barely knew or liked enough about himself but that's different now. He knows who he is, the good and the bad and the downright awful and he's better for it because he's able to love and I could tell he loved you the minute he told me about you. He changed, the way he talked, the way he looked, his whole demeanor was different. Why would I want to take that away from him when he couldn't even manage it when he supposedly "normal?" You helped bring my brother some peace, I should very much so like to say thank you and I hold no ill will towards you or your past. You're family now, don't ever doubt that." Natasha did not feel tears pricking her eyes because she did not cry, that wasn't her. Who was she kidding? Maybe she was getting a little teary eyed but that was okay, that was the sort of thing that was supposed to be okay around family and she had that now. For better or worse she did. Later on when they were counting down to the new year, little Jamie cuddled up in her arms clad in a Black Widow PJ set with the rest of James' family pressed together on the couch watching the ball drop she really did feel like she was a part of something that she had never had before but had always wanted and she wasn't afraid of it anymore. She wasn't afraid of love, and if love truly was for children then she had no problem being childish if it meant she got to be childish with James.