Author's Note: Some people may believe that what happens at the end of this chapter is not possible. I promise it will be explained in later chapters.
Please, please, please do not mistake this character for a Mary-Sue. I tried to make her flawed and as much unlike a Mary-Sue as possible. I don't even describe her hair or eye colour. I've had this story in my mind forever, and I don't care about who's going to be paired with who. I care about telling a good story here: nothing more.
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She stood straight and still on Platform Ten, holding her suitcase in front of her with both hands.
Few people spared her the curious glance reserved for those waiting with you for public transportation. Those standing close may have noted that she was certainly younger than thirty, and that her gaze lingered on things in an odd, fixed way, but little else about her was worth a second glance.
Her eyes were too tired for her age. The train leaving from Platform Nine, opposite, made her winter coat heave around her ankles. Her pupils dilated as they trailed in a sparrow's wake, following its flight, wondering where it was going.
The tiny bird flew up and up and up and out of sight, a speck of russet gone. She examined her sleeve. It was dark brown. She'd be the same color in the air if she could fly.
If I could fly. Her hands gave a tiny tremble.
Her name was Natasha Shiloh, and she was waiting to leave her life behind. The train was late, but she was patient. She'd already waited a long time. There was no hurry.
She had all the time in the world.
Somehow, despite the huge turn her life was about to take, she felt quite calm. Wherever she went, she knew it would be the same as it had always been. Satisfying without any real beauty or grace. Just crude simple living, day after day. Rainy days and blank stares, soggy cereal in the morning and trying to please people she didn't like in the afternoon. She wasn't very good with people; she had enough trouble trying to decipher herself.
Newsflash: Woman Born Without Personality, Scientists Baffled.
Who knew? She could be the first. Perhaps it was because she didn't know anything worth caring about. There had to be beauty and adventure somewhere, like there was in fiction. Perhaps it was there whenever she was absent.
There was a tap on her shoulder. "The train's been delayed."
She turned; it was a pudgy man in a uniform. "Oh?" she said dully. "For how long?"
"It'll take as long as it takes," he said, already strolling off.
What a redundant answer. Natasha was not at all daunted by the delay. She made her way back down the platform to the seats at the other end, lugging her suitcase, occasionally swapping her carrying hand, and sat down.
What's the use of leaving? Why AM I leaving? Do I really think I'm going to find anything different? Anything more interesting?
Natasha wondered what it was like to be obsessed with something. She wished there was something she wanted so badly she was willing to devote all her time to getting it or experiencing it. Nowadays she couldn't be bothered about anything.
I need a good book.
Restless, she stood up and paced, wanting the train to come just for a change of scenery. The noise around her seemed intrusive. She could hear snatches of conversation, tiny snippets of lives of people she'd never meet. Every step jarred her bones. Frustration creased her forehead.
Wonderful. Have a fit of depression in King's Cross.
"If you'd just listen…"
"Daniel, did we pick up the lagers?"
"Next train to…"
"Ron, can you pass me Hedwig's cage?"
"I'm SORRY, I'm not trading my Armando Dippet, all right? I only have one. I got it in my last chocolate frog and it was an exciting moment, let me tell you."
"Put those AWAY, Ron. Wait until you get on the train."
These conversations are getting more bizarre by the minute. She looked up to see who had spoken.
There was a small group moving at a snail's pace towards the platform. She watched them. It seemed to be a family. They were all similar looking – no, all except for one boy with startlingly black hair amidst the fray of red locks. Perhaps he was a friend of the boy he was walking next to. They had out handfuls of what she supposed were trading cards, and they obviously weren't looking where they were going. As the group drew just about level with her seat, the gangly boy who had been insisting on keeping one of his cards tripped over his own feet and fell hard.
The cards went everywhere. Boosted by the wind, a few flew towards her. There were yells from the rest of the group.
They were so close she automatically bent and scooped a pile of them into her hand, offering them to the boy. "Here you go."
"Thank you very much," the woman swooped up and snatched the cards before Natasha could even see what was on them, or what an 'Armando Dippet' was. The woman seemed almost pensive around her, as one would treat a homeless person or someone dressed in odd clothing. "We were in a hurry, you see."
Natasha stooped to help the boy up. "I love chocolate frogs. They're my favorite sweet," she said earnestly, imagining the chocolate animals her mother had given her as a child. Evidently they only made frogs now, for some reason. She tried not to seem too desperate to converse. Truth be told, she hadn't had a real conversation with anyone in weeks.
She glanced desperately around for something else to make a topic out of. She noticed a fold of clothing hanging out of a suitcase. It bore some kind of school emblem on it – an 'H' surrounded by animal pictures, and a motto in Latin. "Oh, you're heading off to the school, I see."
The woman's face brightened with some kind of recognition. She had a beautiful smile. "Oh! Yes, I'm just seeing my Ron and Ginny, and Ron's friend Harry off – both in their fifth year at Hogwarts now, Ginny's in fourth, you know. Molly Weasley - pleased to meet you. I'm so sorry, I mistook you for a muggle at first – that's why I snatched the cards."
Natasha blinked. Muggle? Hogwarts? Hogwarts must be the name of the school, I suppose – how ridiculous! But what on earth is a muggle? And why did she mistake me for one?
Deciding against asking for fear of sounding ignorant – she felt it was some kind of new word she didn't know about – she smiled back and shook her head. "That's fine. In fact, I was just about to catch the train as well."
"You're catching the Hogwarts train?" the black-haired boy – Harry – said. "Are you a new teacher?"
Natasha kept her expression one of polite interest. There's a specific train for people going to the school? I've never even heard of it.
Who WERE these people? And why had she never heard of a school that had an entire train allocated to it? But through her puzzlement was a ray of slow interest, creeping excitement. This was the first interesting thing to happen to her in months. What was this school like? Was it a private school? She was afraid of asking too many questions – obviously they were secretive about this school, for some reason. Better be shrewd.
She realized that she was actually considering lying. She was actually considering pretending that she was a teacher, just to go on this train, to see this Hogwarts. Perhaps it was a special government school, for people training to be spies. One wild theory after another came to her. She hadn't been so imaginative in…in forever. Giddy excitement and she was suddenly speaking without even realizing what she was saying.
"Yes," she said. "Yes, I'm a new teacher. My name's Natasha Shiloh – pleased to meet you too."
There was a rumble of approval from the four, even the seemingly shy girl. They ate her lie up without protest.
"YES! Snape's out of the running for another year!" Ron and Harry grinned widely at each other, sharing some secret delight.
"I didn't think they'd managed to get anyone for Defense Against the Dark Arts this year," Harry said, nodding his approval at her. "What a relief. Snape for two classes; I'd be driven insane."
"Sssh, boys," Mrs. Weasley's bright smile wavered. "You don't want to insult another teacher in front of Professor Shiloh, do you? You have taken the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, I assume?"
I'd be taking the How to Eat Paper class if that's what you had assumed, thought Natasha, chuckling mentally. "Yes, I have."
"Good luck," said the woman jovially. "None of the past staff have had any luck at all, they all seem to become…well…incapacitated before the year is out."
If Natasha really had taken the job, she would have been slightly unnerved by that statement. As it happened, she didn't plan to take this whatever-it-was class at all. For Heaven's sake, she wasn't qualified to teach anyone. She had barely passed her School Certificate, and had procrastinated going to University for the past two years. She planned to go to the school, pretend to be a parent visiting, or some such excuse – she seemed to have gotten along fairly well on excuses so far – and then get out before anyone realised the clash of lies.
She felt so alive. She was finally doing something interesting, something out of the ordinary. Something that could occupy her absent thoughts.
"Oh dear, I've completely forgotten about the time," Molly Weasley said, flustered. "Well – you'd all better catch that train. Through the barrier now, Ron, Harry…" she hugged each of them in turn. Ron's ears turned red. "Come off it, Mum."
"Write to me whenever you like," she said, ignoring her son's remark. "Lovely to meet you…Ron, Harry, let Professor Shiloh through the barrier first."
Confronted with the unknown, Natasha tried to think fast. "No, no. After you. I insist."
She watched the two boys carefully. What 'barrier' did they mean? And why were they…?
The boys suddenly broke into a run, trolleys humming in front of them. The barrier between the platforms? These people were mad! They were going to crash!
Both trolleys and both boys disappeared into the wall. Natasha's mouth dropped open out of pure reflex, and she quickly snapped it closed before Mrs. Weasley saw her.
This was way more out of the ordinary than she had thought.
There was only one explanation for it: She had gone insane. She had just seen two people disappear into a wall like ghosts. Surely this was where she'd be revealed to be one of these 'muggles'. She couldn't do what they just did. She couldn't.
Her legs worked of their own accord. Her eyes fixed on the solid wall of bricks. With one hand she clutched her bag tightly, and walked briskly towards the barrier.
She could feel Mrs Weasley's eyes on her. Her heart trilled in her chest, a drumbeat urging her on. The momentum pressed into her chest. She took in one last breath, closed her eyes and braced herself for impact…
And there was none.
Natasha Shiloh, a muggle, had crossed over.
