Mantra

Rating: T for now.
Warnings: Slash, language, human names used. Norway = Nikolai Hansen, Denmark = Mathias Køhler, Iceland = Ari "Ice" Hansen

What annoyed him was not the fact that he had to wait. No, he could admit that it was his fault he'd forgotten to wake his brother on time for their appointment. Nor was it that the walls of the doctor's office were a blinding, headache-inducing off-white with a banner of colorful jungle animals lining the bottom half. That auto-insurance lady on the television you had to crane your neck to see was beginning to tug at his nerves, and he couldn't stand the obnoxious country music coming from the speakers, but this was not why he was becoming a meter of apathetic irritation. These brief thoughts of homicide came from the spiky-haired blond sitting to his right, who was a clusterfuck of annoying chatter. And he had been. For the past half hour.

"—llo? Helloooo, anyone in there~?" the annoying man chirped. Nikolai chose to ignore him. That is, until he reached his hand over the armrest to poke him in the side. He grabbed it with surprising speed and tossed it back to the older man's lap disgustedly. Why did this guy have to bother him? Why couldn't he talk to someone else in this ridiculously capacious waiting room? The man laughed cheerfully. "Well, at least I know you're alive! I've been talking to you for a while now and you haven't been responding!" No shit. "Oh! I haven't introduced myself! My name is Mathias Køhler! What's yours?"

Nikolai turned his head towards Mathias slowly, a cold glare that would send shivers down anyone's spine adorning his pale face. "You're annoying," he deadpanned.

Mathias gave him a stare so blank it confirmed in Nikolai's mind that this man did not think. He then smiled widely, making Nikolai twitch. "So he speaks!"

Rolling his eyes, the aggravated victim turned in his seat and picked up the rather heavy book he'd been attempting to read. Now, what page, what page…ah, there it—

"Oh, this is Norwegian, isn't it? Are you Norwegian? I'm from Denmark!"

He did not just snatch my book out of my hands and make me lose my place. No. Then I would have to kill him.

While the Dane marveled at the book, turning it this way and that as if it would somehow help him read it, Nikolai sat completely still for a few moments before standing up. "I'd like my book back. Now," he said, his face revealing nothing. Mathias looked up at him and stared for what seemed like an eternity. Just when Nikolai was starting to feel self-conscious, Mathias suddenly stood as well.

"Oh my god! You're so short!"

At that, the tiniest, most miniscule, barely noticeable blush dusted the Norwegian's face. "I'm a perfectly normal height. You're just unnaturally large."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"If it gets you to leave me alone, then yes."

He laughed. The tall bastard laughed. As soon as he started, he stopped and leaned towards Nikolai, staring at him again. Nikolai shoved him away, and the Dane was surprised to land on his back.

"You're blushing! Are you sensitive about your height? Because you're pretty strong for such a little guy!"

That was it. He'd had enough harassment from this…this stranger, this man he didn't even know. He knelt on one knee in front of Mathias, grabbing his collar and staring fixedly into his bright blue eyes. "Look. I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me the hell alone. I've got enough stress in my life; I don't need some moron making me lose it in a waiting room. Bother someone else," he hissed. Grabbing his book back and ignoring the concerned stares they were receiving, he walked to the other side of the large room. Not once did he bother to look up.

About twenty minutes later, he felt someone standing before him.

"Brother."

Nikolai lowered the book slowly. "Ice." His face remained emotionless, but his cold gaze warmed. The pediatrician stepped up next to Nikolai's younger brother, Ari, and nodded at him.

"He's doing fine now. Just make sure he gets plenty of sleep. No more late nights, alright? Thanks for bringing him, Nikolai," she said.

"No problem. Thank you," Nikolai said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He followed her to the front desk to go through paperwork, Ari standing idly by. Once he finished, Nikolai turned to the younger Hansen. "Are you ready, Ice?"

"Yeah. Let's go home."

He took Ari's hand, guiding him toward the front of the building. Ari gripped it tightly. Nikolai could feel his little brother's hand shaking. As they neared the entrance, he caught Mathias watching them, mouthing something intently. He swore the Dane was saying "Nikolai." He shot him a glare as the spiky-haired blond smiled.

[/]

"Tino, we're home."

Nikolai pulled the keys out of the lock and hung them on the wooden hook next to the door, stepping aside to let Ari inside the apartment.

A sandy-haired young man stumbled out of the kitchen, smiling and welcoming them home. "What are you doing up? Don't tell me you're cooking. You need to stay in bed," Nikolai said sternly.

Tino shrugged sheepishly. "I can't help it, Nikolai. I'm used to being up and getting things done! I get bored just lying around. How was the check-up, Ari?"

Ari breezed past him, barely brushing his shoulder. He disappeared into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Nikolai and Tino stared after him awkwardly.

Nikolai sighed. Why did Ari have to be so rude?

"Don't worry about it. He can't help it if he doesn't like me. I'm not his real dad, and I never will be," Tino said, his violet eyes lowering.

"It doesn't matter. He should be grateful to get out of that shithole they called an orphanage," Nikolai growled, making his way to his and Ari's shared room.

Tino was a Finnish man in his late twenties, though he still looked like a college student. He'd shown up to the orphanage and had taken an immediate liking to Ari, who was quiet and too proud to admit he was unhappy. When Tino found out he had an older brother, he had no problem with adopting him as well. "You can't adopt one brother and leave the other alone! Brothers are like…a package deal!" he'd said cheerfully. Nikolai had responded by staring at him blankly. At that, Tino laughed nervously and went to talk to the owner of the orphanage.

At first, Nikolai was put off by that cheerful nature. He'd thought it was an act to get them to like him, then put them into the labor force. Tino lived in an apartment after all, so who knew how desperate he could be? And who adopted boys as old as twelve and sixteen unless they wanted them to work? But as the weeks passed, Nikolai realized Tino didn't really expect them to work at all—in fact, when the older Hansen had suggested getting a job, he'd refused. "All you need to focus on is school right now!" Tino insisted. Nikolai had eventually gotten used to Tino, and after living with him for over two years, he'd grown to like and respect the older man. He cleaned and took care of them, and although his food wasn't exactly the best in the world, he cooked whenever he was in the mood.

Ari's suspicions and dislike never really left him, and Nikolai supposed that was because he still missed their parents. Their father had died of alcohol poisoning and their mother could not support them on her own, so she'd dumped them at an orphanage when Ari was six. Ari and Nikolai's father was an awful alcoholic, but when he wasn't drunk, he was a fairly good parent. One night he'd gone out drinking with his friends in celebration of a retirement and had to be taken home by a sober coworker. He'd gotten home after everyone was asleep and downed every last alcoholic beverage they owned. Ari didn't understand, their mother was too depressed to explain, and Nikolai just didn't want to tell him. Ari loved his father, and if his older brother told him just how worthless he thought the man was, Ari would not believe him. So Nikolai said nothing about his father and soon they were in a home for other abandoned children, where they themselves were thought of as worthless. Potential parents never considered them, either because Ari looked too unfriendly or they didn't want to adopt both brothers. Nikolai was popular with mothers when he was younger, being rather pretty for a boy, but fathers didn't want such a feminine son. So they spent six years there, staying away from everyone else for the most part, since it was every man for himself. Occasionally there would be "brothers," groups that banded together out of common personalities or pure necessity.

The two reserved themselves, only talking to each other, and came off as antisocial. Which wasn't completely untrue. They learned not to care about anything other than themselves and their brother, and to not show fear or happiness to anyone. They could not afford to be taken advantage of in that orphanage—that could result in stolen food or a beaten, bloody body.

But Tino didn't seem to mind, miraculously; they had found someone who could stand their lack of emotion and limited ability to love. Still, Tino was worried about Ari. Nikolai still could make friends if he wanted to and knew how to talk to people. Ari refused to speak to anyone and didn't like how Tino constantly asked how his day was or if he made any new friends at school. The answer was always the same anyway. Since Nikolai venerated Tino, he became irritated when Ari disrespected the Finnish man.

He slammed the door open, glaring at his younger brother. "What is wrong with you, Ice? Stop being such an ass."

Ari flinched but said nothing.

"I don't understand you anymore. Tino's a sweet guy. Why don't you like him?" Nikolai said in a softer tone, sitting next to Ari on his bed.

"I don't trust him," Ari sighed.

"Why not?"

"He…he's too nice. I don't like it. He's going to take advantage of us someday, someone always does. I mean, he hid all his money from us. I can't trust him!"

About a year ago, Nikolai had found multiple hundred dollar bills in a drawer while cleaning out an old dresser. This was probably why he didn't think they needed to work.

"So what if he's rich? He just doesn't want to live lavishly. People take advantage of rich people too, you know. Especially people as nice as him." Nikolai had asked Tino one day why he didn't live in some nice mansion. Tino told him he didn't think he needed to. He'd lived by himself for much of his life (until he'd adopted them, of course), and it didn't suit him anyway.

"Why are you always defending him?" Ari frowned.

"Because he deserves to be. Just like he deserves your respect. He's sick, for god's sake. You have to treat his better than that."

Ari folded his arms stubbornly. "I don't care. I'm sick too."

"Then shouldn't you understand him?"

"No."

Nikolai rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. Tino was in the kitchen, whistling and stirring a pot. He looked up and smiled at Nikolai. "How'd it go?" Nikolai raised an eyebrow and Tino laughed. "Not good, huh? That's alright. Let him simmer down."

Mentally snorting at Tino's choice of words, Nikolai took the spoon from the older man. "Go sleep, old man. I'll make dinner."

"I'm not old!" Tino said, pretending to look hurt, but failing miserably with the little smile on his face. "When do you have to go to work?"

"Hn…About an hour."

"So you won't be able to eat with us?" A concerned look crossed Tino's face.

Nikolai bit his lip. "No, sorry." Ari never ate with Tino alone. If Nikolai ever had to work around dinner, his younger brother would eat in his room while Tino took his food in the kitchen. "I'll heat it up when I get home."

Tino leaned one hand on the counter and placed the other on his hip. "Are you sure? You always get back late and get, what, three hours of sleep? Take a night off; I don't know why you insist on working."

"I'm an adult now. I can't just mooch off of you. I need to save up for college too," Nikolai shook his head.

"You have scholarships, and I said I'd take care of the rest! Don't worry about it!"

"I told you, I'm paying my own way for college."

Tino grabbed the spoon back from Nikolai. "Niki, why don't you let me help you? I know you've been taking care of your brother, so rest up a bit, will you?"

"…I'm going to get dressed for work," Nikolai said, averting his eyes. He walked out of the kitchen towards his room.

"You have to let someone take care of you eventually," Tino murmured to Nikolai's departing back.

[/]

Boring as hell. This was the only way Nikolai would ever describe his job at Krieg's Market.

"Cash, credit, or debit?" he said in a tone that would put a classroom to sleep. He hadn't even bothered looking up at the customer. He never did until he was forced to look up, fake a smile, and say, "Thank you, come again!"

The proper response was usually credit; debit if the person was a bit desperate, cash if it were a kid or someone who happened to have a lot of bills on them. These were the only three answers Nikolai ever prepared himself for. Maybe a check, but any other response would break the cycle; jam a stick into the gears that were Nikolai's Job at Krieg's Market.

"Nikolai!" And so the gears halted.

…Excuse me?

Nikolai looked up balefully to stare into the face of that man; that dreaded Dane with the porcupine hairstyle. What was his name again? Mattie? Mathis?

The reason for his loss of words could be hard to place, since his expression was as bored and stoic as ever, and he simply stared at the offensive man before him. "You," he said.

"Mathias! You remember me from earlier, right? I didn't know you worked here! I come here twice a month!" Mathias grinned broadly. "I should come more often!"

"Please don't."

"Huh? Why nooot?" Mathias whined.

Nikolai sighed when the woman at the cashier next to him gave him a "Be nice" look. He took a deep breath and said, "Cash. Credit. Or debit."

The idiot seemed confused at first, then remembered that he was indeed in a grocery store. "Uh, credit!"

When all orders of business were taken care of, Mathias walked out the entrance, and Nikolai was able to get his gears running smoothly again. That is, until his shift was over and he left the building to find Mathias standing by the door outside.

"What are you doing here?" Nikolai asked, knowing this was a very unwise question.

Mathias laughed. "I was waiting for you, of course!" Before he could ask why, he was pulled into a suffocating, dark warmth. "I'm so glad I could see you so soon again! I'm really sorry if I made a bad impression. Usually I'm not that obnoxious with people!" That's hard to believe. "But you look so interesting. I don't know why. I just wanted to talk to you." His cocky grin relaxed into a kind smile as he released his hold on the Norwegian.

He would never understand this guy, would he? For some reason, he felt his throat tighten just the slightest bit—enough for him to take notice. "I just wanted to talk to you." The sentence repeated itself over and over in Nikolai's mind, and he closed his eyes. When he opened them, Mathias was staring at him, concerned. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"…I'm fine," Nikolai said softly. "I need to go home."

Stepping out of the smaller man's way, Mathias nodded. "Okay. It was nice seeing you again. I'll talk to ya later, okay? That's a promise! And say hi to your brother for me!"

Nikolai held up a hand in a half-hearted wave as he walked to the back of the parking lot and climbed into his car. It was then that Mathias's promise registered in his head, and he groaned, burying his face in his steering wheel. All the way home, he reminded himself he never wanted to see Mathias again. I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want to see him anymore.

Somehow by the time he made it to the apartment complex parking lot, the song-chant had morphed into, I dough wand sea anemone. He shook his head violently before stepping out of the car. What the hell is wrong with me?

A/N: LOLOLOL ultra failure here. At first I thought this fic was easy. But then I felt like I was giving Norway too many feelings for some reason, and the explanations of their past was ick IMO. I have never written the Nordics before. Please go easy on me and review to your heart's content. :I