(A/N) Crack fic time! I shamelessly based this off of a skit that I've seen performed for drama competitions.

So this was born.

"Ed?"

"Mm?"

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

The tired blond man sighed. "Yes, you're beautiful, Winry. Now, I'm trying to pay the bills right now."

"How beautiful? There's a difference you know." The currently unreasonable blonde nudged her husband of 7 months.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He said in compliance

She paused before speaking. "Why didn't you say the most beautiful woman ever?"
"Because I haven't seen all the women in the world. That would be a stupid thing to say."
"Are you saying there could possibly be a woman more beautiful than me?"
He slammed his papers down. "What's up with you Winry? " He turned to look at his wife. "How many of those ''girls' night out''s have you gone to? and what are they telling you? You're jumping to conclusions more than usual!"
"Nothing really. Just some ways to read men."
"Winry, you know me better than those women do. What do they know?"
"Some very useful things! Obviously you don't care because you're too busy to console me!"
"Winry. I'm paying the bills for once. Aren't you ever pleased?"
"You could be a bit more gentlemanly about it."
"Stop making me the enemy her-" He stopped himself. His temper never ever helped anything.
"Why did you stop?" She still sounded irritated.
"Maybe because I think it's stupid to argue!" He massaged his head.
"Edwa-"
"Don't twist it around at me Winry. I would get all angry and crap and like, threaten to leave or something if I didn't believe that this is some fluke."
"Well, what's stopping you-"
"Seriously Win'. do you have selective hearing today or something? Why are you so eager to get pissed at me?" He stood up, surprisingly calm and took Winry by the hand. She turned away from him.
"Come on. Tell me what's wrong, Winry."
"We're what's wrong Ed!" She pulled her hand away.
"Eh?"
"You know what I saw today? At the diner?"
"What?"
"I saw this old couple eating dinner." She spat out, flustered.
"What's so wrong about that?"
"It was 11 am. 11 in the morning Ed!"
"So? Some people like dinner early-"
"The woman was drinking her coffee, black."
"You don't know it was black."
"And the old man was slurping down this lime jello with more gusto than he had for his wife!"
"And?"
"And what?"
"What does this have to do with us?" He crossed his arms inquisitively.
"We're in a slump Ed. Things aren't like they were when we were dating..."
"Are you saying that we were at our best when we were dating?"
"Yes Ed. I loved that new brand of closeness. Learning new things about each other everyday. It was an adventure."
"Really, I think both of us have had enough adventure in our lives."
"Don't say that! I don't want my life to ever be boring!"
"If you think like that you'll never be happy Win'."
"I hate this life now. You come home from work, we have dinner, we pay the bills, and every Friday and Saturday night we...do it!"
Ed stared at her in disbelief for a moment. "We do not only do it on Fridays and Saturdays."
"We do too!"
"What about this morning in the shower? Today is a Tuesday!"
"That doesn't count!"
"Are you saying that you didn't enjoy it?"
"Sure I did! But that's not the point!" She blushed angrily.

He grabbed both of her hands and walked her up against the wall. Painting her skin pink. "I can indulge you some more if that will make you happy." He kissed the hair against her forehead.

She could only be unreasonable for so long.
Her arms wrapped him up. Embracing him.
"There we go Winry. Everything's ok."
"Sorry for freaking out on you Ed. I've just been so emotional lately…." She trailed off.
"Don't worry, we'll get through this. We always do."
"Ok, Edward." It didn't even need to be that extravagant. She just inhaled his warmth. Until she Remembered. "Uhm, Edward?"
"Mm?"
"I'm pregnant."

"..."

"Ed?"
"Okay hold on." He released her and took a step back. "Try me again, I don't think I heard you right the first time." He bounced his hands on his sides in preparation. "Ok, Winry, what is it that you want to tell me?"
She stepped toward him. Grabbing his hands and holding them up. "I'm pregnant."

He threw his hands out in joy. "What? Really? Oh my god that's great!" She ran into his open arms. He spun her around, catching her lips when she descended. "This is amazing! You're amazing!" Her giggles were a relief and a wonder to him.

"I'm...really happy Ed. I...was worried."
"Why should you be? I'm just so glad. I can't believe it!" He hugged her tightly again. "You're going to be an awesome mom."
"You're going to be an awesome Dad." Ed suddenly went pale and descended into a senseless babble.
"Oh my god. I'm gonna be a dad. I-I don't know what to do! I- what if I'm a terrible dad like my Bastard father! What is my son hates me like I hate him!"
"You don't really hate your father Edward."
He screwed up his mouth. "But, I have to leave a lot for work. I wont be around much, like my dad."
"Stop saying that." She took a step closer to him. Placing a hand on his cheek. "Just the fact that you're worrying proves that you'll be a wonderful father." She brought him into another embrace. Both sighing into each other. Resigning to comfortable silence.
"Edward?"
"Hm...?"
"Do you think I'm fat?"

~Owari~