For any other resident at Ashford Academy, another school night was just the same old clockwork it should be. The day would start anew again, students and teachers greeting each other, classes being taught, friends laughing together without a care in the world. For most, this was the life they lead. Yet, there were those at Ashford who had restless nights, racing thoughts as nightmares came alive, shaking their very souls. It was one such hot summer night where Lelouch vi Britannia, Zero of the Black Knights, sat on the cool stone of his balcony at night, amethyst eyes rimmed red with grief from earlier.
The events of a girl who loved him so unconditionally, so loyally, was dead now by means of an unknown killer. Shirley Fenette. He remembered the way how her warm blood seeped through her body into his hands; how she spoke so softly with every word taking the very little life she had remaining. Lelouch thought himself grown hardened by the events of death he dealt so daily with; the battles he fought so frequently for his organization. He thought he grown enough to be a strong leader. Yet here he was, a girl he never knew meant so much to him until now, crying over her death.
A girl so foolish, so naïve, who walked into heat of battle only to be shot, another causality of war. How she somehow recovered her memories from geass, even forgiving him for the death of her Father. Smiling weakly at him as she coughed, fresh blood staining her pale lips. Saying she would love him no matter what, that she felt that she could fall in love with him all over again if she was reborn. The young man vividly recalled how he brought down his power of geass to make her have the will to live. It was futile though. The auburn haired girl died cradled in his arms, peace on her face.
Screaming. He recalled screaming. His very own screams so raw with grief, hoarse to the core. Her bright red blood staining his clothes seemed to swallow him up. He felt so tired now, staring up at the heavens where stars twinkled dimly. Exhaustion hit him as Lelouch slowly rose to his feet, eyes half-shut with fatigue. It was then when he saw her.
C.C. stood by the entrance to his bedroom, an unreadable expression on her face. In her hands she held a steaming cup of tea. Wordlessly, she handed it to him. Golden eyes peered at him curiously at him as she sat on the edge of his bed.
"Didn't I tell you The Power of Kings would make you very lonely Lelouch? I've said before that this great power will isolate you, it already has. You should have known to contemplate my words more seriously."
For several minutes, neither one said anything. Silence fell as they both stared into each other eyes, ancient ones staring into young ones. Lelouch then broke off the eye contact sipping mildly at the lukewarm tea. He sighed with evident frustration as his one hand ran over his ebony hair haphazardly.
"I just…I just keep loosing everyone I care about… I sound so pathetic don't I?" A bitter laughed escaped his lips, a slight maddening look crossed his face.
"Suzaku, Nunnally, Kallen. I've lost all of them to an empire which I loath. Now Shirley…a close friend who had to just get caught up in this mess is gone too... Sometimes I wonder, what point do I have to go on? My sister is who I fight for yet I go against her wishes." Shame was clear on Lelouch's features, marked with guilt as well.
"It's obvious though that going against my sister's wishes will not stop my dream to bring down Britannia. He paused, sitting down next to C.C. as moonlight streamed on their faces. There are others I must protect, I realize that now. I fight for everyone like my sister, those that need protection. Yet, I couldn't save one person who had nothing to do with this shi-
C.C. suddenly stopped him with the index finger of her right hand, quieting him.
"I see this girl had a close relationship with you as your friend, but you must realize that you just can't stop your dream because of her. What I'm saying may sound cold-hearted but you must go on, that is, if you want your dream to be that much closer to reality that is."
The grey witch took grasp of both his hands, a somewhat sympathetic look upon her face. "In all honesty, I don't care if you end your organization, keeping you alive is my top priority in order in fulfill your contract with me. Though, I would like what is best for you, that is, you want your organization to flourish, correct?"
Lelouch eyed her warily, nodding his head up and down slowly. "No I wouldn't diminish the Black Knights because of Shirley, it just makes it all that much harder to be a leader and a grieving person at the same time, you know?" She smiled sadly, hugging the young man close to her body.
"No matter what Lelouch, you will not be alone. I'm in this with you until the end."
The geass user smiled thinly, laying down upon his pillow with a body full of grief. She gently kissed him on the forehead; then left the premise of his room. He slept with a heavy heart the rest of the evening.