A/N: sup megaman x fandom.

I know it wasn't my place to speak out against him at the time, but the way he carried himself made me wonder if there was something more there than just an arrogant man behind that mask. Everything he did had a level of rehearsal to it, from the small, insignificant laughs he'd add to a conversation, down to the way he walked. He seemed hollow.

Hollow yet efficient. He did his work and he did it well. Sigma always praised him, Zero envied him--though he would never openly admit that. I could tell, though--and Doctor Cain was approving. He was a model Hunter, deserving of the rank Special A.

That's why when I heard the news about his incarceration, I didn't believe it. To me, he didn't seem the type to disobey so drastically to merit an extended sentence. He could be outspoken at times; I recall a moment where he and Sigma got into a shouting match over some sort of tactic Vava didn't agree with. Regardless, I didn't think much of it.

But, then again, he was a private man. There was much more going on than what I saw in our passings in the hallways.

One time, I actually spent more than a few minutes with him. It was in the base's library and he was standing by the window, looking down at the city beneath us. It was the first and last time I had seen him without his helmet on. When I finally approached him, he looked startled and for the slightest moment, I thought I could see something there. That he was more than a no-nonsense soldier, more than a serious, tactical man.

But, as quickly as it came, it was gone and he was back to as I, and everyone else, had perceived him. He gave me a plain, blank smile and we talked about the war--we have nothing else in common, as I realized through the awkward silences that came and went--and he gave me his opinion on the 17th Unit's standing.

He spoke so strongly about it, it was slightly shocking. He spoke about how imperative it was to wipe out the Mavericks, to leave no traces behind.

To think, I wanted to be like him, at one point in my life.

I wanted to have that stoic air about me, I wanted people to look up to me.

But, I never wanted to kill.

That was what I found out. Vava wasn't incarcerated for disobedience alone. He killed. He was instructed to stop and he didn't. I heard the victims were so badly maimed, no one could tell if they were Hunters or Mavericks.

I thought then, maybe if I had tried to reach out to what I had seen in his eyes, that glimpse of something, maybe he wouldn't have done what he had.

I don't think that anymore.

Now, I just want him to rest.

Zero says I'm stupid. I guess I am.