This isn't actually part of my "Edited" series, but it's a parody of the Subspace Emissary, so I thought I'd give it that title.
Chapter 1: Subspace Emissary begins
A battlefield was placed in the middle of the air with many stands all around it, though there seemed to be only two audience members. The trophies of Mario and Kirby fell into the arena as a bright light surrounded both of them, morphing them back to their original condition.
"We can change back anytime we want?" asked Mario. "Kirby told me he had to grab me in five areas to change us back!"
"Oh, um...my mistake," said Kirby. "Wait, how do you know we can't change back by ourselves later?"
"There's like fifteen fanfictions dedicated to the Subspace Emissary," answered Mario.
"Oh, right. Well, let's start."
"Wow, this is such a good battle," said Zelda. "It clearly explains backgrounds and how Mario and Kirby knew each other."
"Of course," said Peach.
"I wasn't talking to you!" snapped Zelda.
Mario darted with incredible speed, and Kirby did the same. Then they realized they were running in opposite directions, and turned around and faced each other.
Suddenly, Mario turned into a trophy. Kirby looked bemused and touched Mario in numerous places, changing him back.
The crowd began to cheer, while Mario and Kirby waved around pointlessly. Suddenly several enemies appeared, around them, and Zelda and Peach jumped forward to be useless closer up.
"Clouds with eyes?" asked Mario. "No, these ideas are too ridiculous! I don't think we can beat them!"
They beat them anyway, though, and then a flower hit Mario over the edge.
Meanwhile, in a dark room, Pit was watching his crystal ball excitedly. "Mario-cam dot com does not lie, I liked the part when he flew over the cliff."
"Yes, but the graphics did not live up to the rumors I've heard," said one of the angels, who had been trapped in the room for years and couldn't have possibly heard any rumors.
Kirby kicked the flower on more time. It started to catch on fire.
"Good thing every enemy in this game, even plants, explode or catch fire," said Kirby. "I wouldn't know what to do with the remains."
The ancient minister flew up, the words "Ancient Minister" appearing across him. The words disappeared. "Now di--"
"Wait, I wasn't done!" said Kirby.
The ancient minister sighed, and the words appeared there again. Kirby read them and disappeared.
"Oh, I was thinking you were ROB."
Two robots stuck their arms into a ball and stretched it.
"Now, here's my ultimate plan. I put my robots into a town...and then destroy it, getting rid of all my robots! Nothing can stop me—wait, no, two hour loading periods between scenes!"
His scream echoed across the whole stadium. Two hours later, the stadium began to explode, and Kirby floated out holding Zelda, while leaving Peach to die.
"I'm going to kill myself!" said Pit. He jumped backward out the window, and then changed his mind mid-way down. He began flying through the clouds, and found Mario lying down.
"Wait, this isn't where I landed...damn it, Kirby."
"Wow, I can finally meet Mario in person," said Pit.
"Urgh," said Mario.
"Are you alright? Were you attacked by another one of those ancient ministers that clearly aren't ROBs?"
"Urgh."
"I wonder how long they plan to do this Subpsace Emissary thing, and what all the consequences will be."
"Urgh."
"Stop."
"Sorry." Mario got up, and they both jumped down through clouds. They reached the bottom, and the ancient minister appeared before them. Mario jumped up to attack, and Pit landed on his head, jumping further. However, he fell, even though he could fly easily seconds before.
The ancient minister flew away to continue his evil plan, while Mario groaned.
Meanwhile, a koopa had many bananas in a cart and was driving away from them. Donkey Kong began punching himself as if this would solve all their problems, and Diddy Kong fired peanuts at the koopa.
"What did I do?" whined the koopa.
"You stole our bananas!" shrieked Diddy Kong.
The koopa looked behind him. "How did these get here? Well, I'll continue bringing them forward. Bowser did request bananas for his evil doings, after all."
"Actually, I might've put those there," said Donkey Kong remorsefully.
"Why?"
"I wanted to see how fast they'd go."
Well, that's the end of that chapter. Peace.