A/N: Writing this because I'm feeling not so okay and I didn't feel like updating my other fics but I just needed something else to focus on. Also because I love this song. "Home – Michael Buble" I hope you like it

"How long?" She whispered, not sure if she wanted to know.

"Nine months." He told her.

"Nine months." She repeated.

"You could always come with me." He suggested quietly.

They had this discussion already, when he first told her he had to leave and now that they knew just how long he would be gone, it was coming up again.

"You know I can't." She whispered, stepping into his embrace, trying to get as much as him as she could, while he was still here.

He sighed, "I wish I didn't have to go."

"Me either, but this is what you've always wanted isn't it? Don't let it go." She tried to smile.

"I'll miss you, you know." He spoke into her hair.

"I'll miss you too."

JULY

Dear Kate,

Another summer day, has come and gone away, in Paris or Rome, but I wanna go home. Maybe surrounded by a million people I, still feel all alone, I just wanna go home, oh I miss you, you know.

Always, Castle.

She read and re-read the letter. She read it in his voice, pretending he was here, close behind her, holding her and not far away. Not on the other side of the world. Two weeks had passed since she had said goodbye to him. It wasn't forever, it was nine months, but it sure felt like forever. She stayed in the airport for the whole time it took for him to get through the process. He texted her when he got on the plane, but that didn't last long. They said their goodbyes again and she let the tears she hid from him fall as she watched his plane take off.

She smiled at his letter, remembering how excited he had been for this book tour. He had been dreaming about writing his own book since they were in college. He had driven her crazy, filling every spare time they had together spouting book ideas in her ear, until one day, she bought him a book and a pen and sat him down and told him to write.

Although, she was glad to have him out of her skin with all his book ideas, she regretted her actions, because now all he did was write. It had even driven them to their temporary breakup, until he came to her and showed her his finished product which he had dedicated to her, thanking her for her love and support.

He had taken his work to publisher after publisher, getting turned down each time and he was getting discouraged fast. He had worked so hard on it, sacrificed so much for it, she wasn't going to let him give up, so she pushed him to try one last publisher and just to please her, he did. He couldn't thank her enough, it was that last publisher who decided to give him the chance and she was incredibly happy for him. She had been in the academy at the time, and when the book was finally published, she had made it into the 12th precinct, working her way up to be a detective.

She didn't know whether or not to be happy for him when he came home to her and his family to tell them that he would have to go on a book tour, but she seeing his face, she couldn't be anything but happy.

Now a few weeks into his tour, she was missing him like crazy and she had five months and some weeks left.

AUGUST

Dear Kate,

I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you, each one a line or two, 'I'm fine baby, how are you?' I would send them but I know that it's just not enough, my words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that.

Always, Castle.

She sat up in bed, resting against the bedhead reading his letter, she wondered what was going on. It had been a month and some weeks and his letters were few, granted he called every day, but the letters he sent sounded so homesick and unhappy, he didn't sound that way on the phone.

She wouldn't be surprised if he was holding back on the phone, he was known for that. She didn't know what he would even do that, hold out on her. Sure she was tired and cranky half the time, but that didn't mean she didn't care about what was going on over where ever he was.

She looked at the clock beside their bed, it was too late to call him now. Tomorrow. She would call him tomorrow.

SEPTEMBER

Dear Kate,

Another aeroplane, another sunny place, I'm lucky, I know, but I wanna go home, I've got to go home. Let me go home, I'm just too far from where you are, I wanna come home.

Always, Castle.

Home. That's all he talked about in his letters. It was weird though, sending her letters. He sent one every month, telling her how much he missed her and how much he wanted to come home, but still he called her every day and talked about everything under the sun, except the letters.

They hadn't spoken this week, as he was traveling every day and the time zones were working against them, so she sat at the desk in his office tracing her fingers over his letter, feeling the indentation of his writing on the paper. She brought it to her face, inhaling it, smiling as she smelt him.

The scent of him filled her with comfort, especially after the bad day she had, she had fallen down some stairs after chasing suspect and sprained her ankle. She wished he was here, although she was stubborn and liked her independence, she had to admit she loved when Castle fussed over her when she was sick. Of course she wasn't alone, she had Alexis and Martha, but Alexis and Martha wouldn't massage her aching ankle, help her undress to take a shower and help her take said shower, they did their best, but Castle was what she really needed and he wasn't here.

She felt the tears sting her eyes and watched as one fell from her face, splashing onto Castle's letter, right on the word 'home'. She folded the letter and brought it to her lips, kissing it, imagining it was Castle. God she missed him.

OCTOBER

Dear Kate,

And I feel like I've been living someone else's life, it's like I just stepped outside when everything was going right and I know just why you could not come along with me, this was not your dream, but you always believed in me...

Always, Castle.

Three months since he left, well three months and some weeks and another three months until he returned. Her ankle had gotten better, it still pained sometimes, but she could manage.

She smiled when she remembered the phone call they had when she told him she sprained her ankle. He was in Canada, back on this side of the world and in the same time zone thankfully.

The mailman had given this letter to her when he saw her exiting the loft building. She smiled when she saw her name written in his script on the front of the envelope. She walked the distance to the park and sat down in the swings, their swings and opened the letter, a twinge of sadness coming over her as she heard his voice in her head.

She was happy for him, she really was and as much as she wished she could have gone with him or even hop on a plane right now, she couldn't, not at this time and he understood that and she loved him for that. This was her dream, it was his too, for her and his dreams were her dreams for him and they would forever support each other in every way they could.

She closed her eyes and thanked every being for blessing her with someone so understanding as Castle and God she wanted him home, she wanted to wrap herself in those arms of his, those arms that always made her feel at home and safe. She wanted him to whisper encouraging words to her when she had a bad day at work and tell her she could do it, that he believed in her, she wanted to kiss him, she wanted to feel his lips against hers and God she wanted to make love to him, feel him, pour everything out and lay herself bare for him. She just wanted him, six months could not go by fast enough.

NOVEMBER

Dear Kate,

Another winter day has come and gone away, in either Paris or Rome and I wanna go home, let me go home. And I'm surrounded by a million people I, still feel alone and let me go home, oh I miss you, you know.

Always, Castle.

She shrugged off her jacket and scarf and pulled off her boots, cursing at the snow wet up the carpet. She tossed her keys on the table and placed the bags on the counter. She was about to get started with the Thanksgiving dinner preparations until Martha and Alexis came home when she spotted a letter on the table. Smiling, she took it up, turning it over in her hands, laughing when she saw his doodle of a snowman in the fall leaves.

Slowly, as she did with each letter, she carefully pulled the flap, not wanting to tear it. When she pulled out the paper, something fell, she bent down to pick up whatever it was. She turned it over to see that they were pictures, a bunch of pictures of him taking pictures in the strangest places with all sorts of facial expressions, she laughed at each of them until she reached a picture he must have taken in Paris at Pont des arts. Her hand came up to her mouth when she saw a padlock there with their names and the day they got together on it and the last picture with him sitting on the bridge beside the lock, smiling.

She didn't think she could love this man any more than she did before, but clearly, she was wrong.

DECEMBER

Dear Kate,

Let me go home, I've had my run, baby I'm done, I gotta go home. Let me go home, it'll all be alright, I'll be home tonight, I'm coming back home.

Always, Castle.

He wasn't due back until the end of December/early January. It was her first time spending Christmas away from him in 8 years and she had to admit, she was depressed about it. She missed his excitement when she never really cared for the holiday season. He would drag her out to pick a tree, even back in college. He would decorate the place with lights everywhere. He would make her stay up all night with him ice skating, before returning home to open their first present. He would wake her up on Christmas morning with breakfast and they would go out and open the rest of their presents and then they would take a walk through the city. They would return home and start preparing dinner, whether for the two of them or for their families and it was the best time of the year for her now. But now he wasn't here.

Sitting in the living room 11:57pm on December 24th, she watched Alexis and Martha carefully choose which present to open and smiled as they shrieked in excitement over what they had gotten.

She had been lost in her thoughts, staring into her traditional cup of hot chocolate, wondering if Castle was out there having his cup too. She had tried to call him, but she couldn't get through.

"Darling." She heard Martha say.

She looked up from her cup to see Martha handing her a red envelope, she stood from the chair and crossed the room to Martha, accepting the letter with a smile. She hoped it was Castle, wondering what he would have to say on this day.

As she read the letter, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. Instantly, she leaned into the source of heat surrounding her, gasping at the familiar scent. She spun around and came face to face with Castle who was smiling warmly at her.

She threw herself into him, feeling happy when his arms circled her and held her against him tightly. She inhaled deeply, trying to figure out if he really was here or if she was dreaming.

She pulled back to stare at him before crashing her lips to his, completely forgetting the other two members of his family in the room. Kissing him for all the time they had missed. When she finally pulled back, he was grinning at her.

"You're home." She whispered.

"I'm home." He confirmed, kissing the tip of her nose.

"Merry Christmas Kate."

End A/N: Would you be so kind to leave me a review? Thanks.