Crack Story: By Gabby W. and Kathy B.
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G: Kazuhiko POV!
K: I sat boredly in the waiting room. The TV had an ugly lady speaking about politics.
She shoved a slice of pizza in her mouth.
G: Satoshi was mildly looking around the room from behind his rainbow goggles.
"Everything has to be colorful, just like our blood!" he proclaimed to me.
K: I looked at my uke and chuckled. I had never figured out why he was so obsessed with rainbows.
I mean, sure we're gay. Big whoop.
"Why are we here again, Shi-kun?" I asked.
G: "You're pregnant, remember, Seme-kun?" he said in that candy-drop voice of his. He was busying himself by sprinkling rainbow powder on the nearby cow.
K: Again with the rainbows! I looked down at my stomach. It was normal looking to me. I could only imagine what people would say when they saw me with a bulging belly.
"Why am I the pregnant one?" I mumbled angrily.
The lady next to us stared at me with wide-eyes and a gaping mouth.
G: Satoshi turned at me with a smile. He acted as if I had asked why the sky was blue. Just then I noticed that some brown-haired Italian talking about pasta was seated next to me. His curl floated too close to my face.
K: As I questioningly looked at the babbling brunnette, Satoshi tapped my arm. I realized an exasperated voice was calling our names.
"Like, could you guys, srsly, hurry up?" the blonde girl (maybe boy) wearing pink scrubs said impatiently, taping his/her feet angrily. S/he were busy studying their nails to notice if we actually listened or not.
G: I got up and the "thing" took us to the doctor.
"Srsly, totally don't act up, lik, okay to the max," the nurse said, then floated away on a rainbow that Satoshi made.
K: Was I the only one confused about the thing's gender...?
The doctor smiled at me, his long brown hair tied in a ponytail. He gestured to the table/bed. I climbed up on it and looked around the rubbing-alcohol drenched room.
G: Satoshi had sat down on a rainbow colored chair that smelt like potatoes. Suddenly the door burst open and a brown-haired blind boy landed in front of me.
K: "I am China-aru, and this is my -strike-son-strike- assistant, Nao. We're your doctors today because we are -strike-also gay-strike- specialized in abnormal pregnancies." The taller one, China, smiled.
I noticed his abnormally -strike-large dick-strike- red scrubs.
G: Another nurse came into the room. She had dark gray hair that covered her right eye. A gray-skinned guy was staring at her pervertedly. I turned back to 'China-aru' and nodded.
"This was only the fiftieth time..." I muttered, facepalming. "I should have remembered the Rainbow Protection."
K: China seemed to understand when I said that.
"Yes indeed. Now, Satoshi-kun, if you will..."
Satoshi shot a lazorbeam--rainbow colored--from his goggles and hit the lightbulb. It exploded into a bunchg of sparkle dust.
The doctor smeared a bunch of smelly stuff (it smelled like potatoes) on my stomach then moved a sensor sort of thing over it. The sensor was hooked up to a small compact TV next to the table/bed.
G: The assistant, Nao, glanced at the TV and said it was purple. But it was green.
We already knew he was blind; we didn't need to be shown that.
Satoshi was talking to the nurse (she said her name was Atsuko) about the obvious lack of rainbows in her outfit.
K: The gray-skinned man seemed to agree. He also put in that the outfit's skirt was too long and that her neck must feel strangled by the high collar of the shirt.
The skirt barely covered her ass and the collar scarcely hid her breasts.
I turned to the TV screen to see that instead of a baby, I saw the Rainbow Channel. Nao and Satoshi had apparentlly changed the channel, and they both agreed that this was the best of them all.
Both on chorus with the llama on the screen shouted "Bleayhah!!! Magic!!!"
G: Then a black-haired man popped up on the screen. There was a scar under his right eye, and he was talking about how smoking fags gave you magical powers. Nao squealed at the voice and bumped into Yukio (the gray-skinned man), and Yukio then fell onto Atsuko, face-boobing her.
K: Yukio looked incredibly content and probably wouldv'e sexed Atsuko right then if it wasn't for the fact that the TV exploded (into rainbows, of course.)
A random guy burst into the room, saying he would fix it and be the hero, but all he did was throw hamburgers at everyone.
G: I thought I heard someone talking about maple leaves and I turned to look but there was nothing there. That's when the random guy (he said his name was America) shoved hamburgers down my throat. Then Satoshi bathed me in rainbows.
"Can't we just get this over with?!" I screamed.
"Hormones..." China-aru whispered to America.
K: I glared furiously at them and then left the room. I ran into a lady--which I thought was that first nurse, who had worn the pink scrubs, but that one had questionable gender while this one was obviously a girl.
"I don't think you should be in here without a doctor," she pointed out, her tone all srsbzns.
"I'm pregnant and my doctor--and everyone else in that room--are retarded!!"
She nodded solemnly and walked with me to a new room, where a woman with ash brown hair and big black eyes was supposed to be my doctor. She said her name was Bosnia.
G: Satoshi followed me to the room and sat on a rainbow banana. A brown bear with black eyes was staring at me and a pink-haired girl whose name was Ichigo.
K: Bosnia got the pictture of my baby (Satoshi called her a stalker for even owning one) and said we could leave.
G: So we left with the picture of my baby. (It had navy blue hair and red eyes--I'm naming it Usotsuki.)
"How come we don't get to be in Steve?" Satoshi complained.
K: The doctor had said that "steve," which was me and Satoshi's code word for sex or for our bed, would be unallowed during my pregnancy.
I gestured to my stomach. I acted like he had just asked why the grass is green.
"We can still be in Steve!" He complained. "Atsuko told me she was pregnant too, and that she and Yukio had been in Steve last night!!"
G: Satoshi did a little dance to prove his point, but then tripped over a cow that was going to get its shots.
K: I sighed and let the boy lead me to Steve.
G: But suddenly everything exploded into rainbows and I woke up in bed next to a sleeping Satoshi, still wearing his monochrome goggles to turn the world grayscale because of his fear of colors.
K: I sighed and laid back down, glad nothing like my dream (or nightmare) would ever actually happen.
THE END!!!
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Chracters and rightful owners (in order of appearance):
Kazuhiko-Kathy
Ugly TV Lady-Channel 4
Satoshi-Gabby
Random cow 1-Gabby
Random Lady-Kathy
Italy-APH
Poland-APH
"Dr." China"-aru"-APH
Nao-Kathy
Atsuko-Gabby
Yukio-Kathy
Rainbow Channel & Rainbow Channel llama-Kathy
"Bleayhah! Magic!"-Yo Gabba Gabba!
Junichi-Gabby
America-APH
Canada-APH
Warsaw-Kathy
Bosnia-Kathy
Brown bear-Gabby
Ichigo-Gabby
Usotsuki-Gabby
Random cow 2-Gabby
We--Gabby and I--did this on a doctor's trip, using PictoChat from the DS. We deemed it so worthy, that we decided to publish it. Straight from the start we had the sayings "Anything Goes" and "As Random and Gay as Possible" in our heads while we did this.
So. A few notes:
Steve is in fact the name of which all of our--Gabby and my--pairings call their bed. It is also a code word for sex we use. When in public, we also use lemon because we doubt anyone actually human knows what that means.
Two pairings in here are yaoi pairings: Nao and Junichi (Junichi was the man on the TV, with the scar) and Satoshi and Kazuhiko. This story was in Kazuhiko's point of view, so his name wasn't used but once. Nao and Satoshi are the ukes, and Junichi and Kazu-kun are the semes.
Warsaw is the capital or Poland. In APH, he is the cross-dressing blondey who always uses the word 'like' a lot. (He also painted his house pink and bought a pony, canon.) Warsaw is my OC. She, being the capital of Poland, thus looks like him. But she's just about the opposite. She's very serious, and usually hates anything girly. She usually doesn't laugh a lot, although you may be able to get her to smile.
Satoshi does, in fact, have a fear of colors. The joke was consistent throughout the story (his goggles were rainbow colored in the dream, he always chose rainbow colored things over plain ones and complained about Atsuko's outfit lacking rainbows.) Originally, the joke was that he and Kazu-kun were gay and thus their "blood" was rainbow colored, but it grew to making fun of his fear.
Fag: British/Old english term for cigarettes. Junichi is a smoker. He was not talking about smoking actually homosexual people, but of smoking cigarettes. (Although it's comical to imagine him actually smoking a fag.)
China said "Hormones..." because pregnant women (or, in this case, men) have higher hormone levels and thus are more emotional. Although I would be mad if I had to wait that long too, even if I wasn't pregnant.
Last note: Yes, the person talking about maple leaves was Canada. We had to throw him in there because of his tendency to be forgotten.
"G:" is when Gabby wrote something, and everything until the "K:" was written by her. The vice-versa is what I, Kathy, wrote.