Title: This Love Came Back to Me
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: R
Pairing: Huntingbird with May, Coulson, Mack, Fitz, Simmons, Clint, & Nat, mentions to Ward, Kara, Victoria, Izzy, Idaho, & Baby Huntingbird
Summary: Unforeseen consequences to Bobbi's kidnapping leave her broken, Hunter on the warpath, and reunites S.T.R.I.K.E..
Warnings: Angst, mentions to torture, blood, and trigger warning for miscarriage.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: So, I'm pretty positive this is happening but I'm hoping that since I wrote it that it won't.
Bobbi refused to beg. She was Special Forces; she was trained to withstand this, to survive, to not have to plead for her life. Any part of her that would have been tempted was gone now, replaced by the small urge to let them kill her, to not fight back. It was what she deserved.
But as the fresh wave of the knife's sting ripped through her Hunter's face flashed through her mind and she was angry again. She was going to live, for him. He couldn't lose them both, not today. Besides, she wouldn't give them the satisfaction.
Anyway, she'd been through worse; they were amateurs.
She'd known when she'd come to in the dingy warehouse that the baby was gone. Her little bird had never stood a chance against these two psychopaths. This wasn't supposed to be a combat op, she was supposed to keep him safe; the way she had been doing so subtly for weeks, waiting until Hunter forgave her to go on Council duty full-time.
She was an idiot; so what if he forgave her because of the baby? He would have done it anyway.
Bobbi would never forgive herself and when she found a way out of this she was going to kill Grant Ward and her former friend and then cry for a month; maybe longer.
"Bob? Bob? Come back to me, love."
She didn't remember passing out but with the pain in her middle and the overwhelming scent of blood she wasn't surprised. She blinked, her vision blurry, but she could make out a familiar, scruffy blur. She reached her hand up to his cheek weakly and succeeded in doing nothing more than giving him a bloody face before it fell limp at her side.
"Lance…baby," she whispered weakly.
"She's awake!" He called, sighing in relief.
Lance pressed his forehead against hers and she reached for him again, tears in her eyes.
"It's okay, Bob. We're home; you're going to be okay."
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed, having the energy for nothing but her grief.
"We have to get her to the Infirmary," someone yelled; Jemma, she thought.
"It's okay, Bob. I was an arse; I was being stubborn. I forgive you, love. You were just doing your job. I'm the one who should-"
"No, the…" She swallowed, her throat dry, another sob forming in her chest.
"This is not the time," Jemma scolded, barking orders over her comm while wheeling her towards the base's hospital.
Lance followed at her side, clutching her hand, not willing to let her go yet which brought on a fresh wave of tears and guilt. She should have let him in sooner, he could handle this life. She'd been stupid to keep him at a distance for long. If she hadn't…
"The baby…I should have told you…I'm sorry."
Bobbi barely caught a glimpse of his broken face as he froze in shock before disappearing through the Infirmary doors.
He'd been through worse; the first life he'd taken in a warzone, his first mission as a merc, the failed op in Budapest, insurgents in Basra, hell, just the war itself. He'd lost Bobbi, twice, his best friend, even the two women who had served as his surrogate mothers. He was a former soldier turned killer for hire with a drinking and sarcasm problem that he used to cover a severe case of PTSD.
He should be used to pain, used to this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, right?
But somehow, nothing had prepared him for this moment because all of that? The war, his failed marriage, losing the people he loved; none of it compared to this.
How was the knowledge that he'd lost someone he never even known existed the thing that trumped it all?
"Hunter…you need to get cleaned up," Coulson whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. He knew he'd been standing in this spot, in shock, for hours but he couldn't move. He was…he was broken. This was it. This…
"Bob…"
"Is in surgery, we won't know anything for hours. When she gets out she'll want to see you and you're…"
"You're covered in blood, mate," Fitz interrupted.
He glanced down and realized his hands were red from where he'd held onto her and he was sure there was more. He hadn't wanted to leave her…he couldn't…
It shouldn't be her blood on his hands.
"Hunter!"
He didn't know where Ward was but he would find him. Him and his bitch girlfriend. No one hurt his Bobbi and got away with it.
It was a good thing they sent Mack after him, he would hate to kick both Coulson and Fitz's arses for trying to stop him; at least Mack was a match for him.
"I know you're pissed, man, but Bobbi needs you here!"
"No! She needs…I'm going to find Ward and I'm going to kill him!"
Lance could see nothing but red clouding his vision. He'd never felt a rage like this in his life. Not even when Izzy and Idaho…that was nothing compared to this. To finding the love of his life near-dead after clearly enduring hours of torture. To choosing to stay with her instead of going after the bastards who'd hurt her. To knowing they'd gotten away because he was too weak to let her be alone.
They deserved to die for this, to suffer the way she had, and he was going to do it.
For her.
And…
Lance kicked the concrete wall hard when his lanyard failed to open the garage. Coulson must have disabled it. A scream left his chest and he fell to the floor, sobbing. He felt Mack at his side as he buried his face in his hands; his bloody hands.
Oh God…Bobbi could be…
"Did you know?" He hissed, looking up at his friend, knowing he was a pathetic sight and not caring.
Mack stared down at him sadly and shook his head. "I just knew she was giving you time to be mad." He gave him a weak smile. "She knew you'd be back around within a few days; you can never give her the silent treatment for long, man."
Lance wiped at his cheeks and nodded. "She was right; I was just being stubborn. Maybe if I hadn't been-"
"Hey, you couldn't-None of us…She was supposed to be safe on that Quinjet, this wasn't something any of us could have prevented."
Lance leaned his head back against the wall and met Mack's eyes. "Let me go, Mack. For Bob; you and I both know when she pulls through she'll go after him. At least this way it's already done."
"And if she pulls through and you're gone? Bobbi needs you here, not on a revenge mission."
"I may not know my wife as well as you, mate, but trust me, her recovery will go by a lot faster if she wakes to news that they're rotting in the ground where they belong."
"She might not…pull through."
Yeah, Lance was trying not to think about that part.
"No one's letting you leave this base, so you should just shower, change those bloody clothes, and be there at her bedside for however long it takes her to wake up. Because you're right, I do know Bobbi better and trust me, what she needs right now is you. She might want revenge but knowing you put her first is what she really needs. And we both know you killing Ward is all about you."
Lance really hated when Mack was right.
"Fine, but promise me when I get her permission you help me find them?"
Mack nodded sadly. "Get the bastards that killed my Godchild? Anything?"
"What in the bloody fuck makes you think I'd trust you with my kid, mate?" Lance grumbled, getting to his feet.
Mack clapped his back and led him towards the dorms. "What makes you think Bobbi cares what you think?"
"Good point."
Bobbi had been hit with shrapnel from an RPG once, years ago, before Budapest. And it had hurt like a bitch. But somehow this was worse. Maybe it was the needles in her arm, the machine beeping telling her that her heartbeat was still weak, the surgeries, or the itching from her bandages but she felt fucking awful.
And of course there was this hollow feeling in her chest paired with an emptiness in her womb, an emotional, physical, and painful reminder that she was no longer someone's mother.
Yeah, this was worse.
Bobbi turned her head, ready to cry for the foreseeable future, and she was met by Hunter's soft brown eyes watching her, still filled with tears.
"Babe…" She reached up to his cheek, not wanting him to feel any of the pain she was feeling but she could see it was too late.
Lance pressed his lips to her forehead fiercely, burying his fingers in her hair. Bobbi closed her eyes, fighting off the urge to sob. She wanted nothing more than to cry but every inch of her body hurt and she was afraid of what a breakdown would do to her stitches.
"I'm so sorry, Hunter," she whispered, knowing she should have told him sooner.
"No, I was…I wouldn't have told me either."
Bobbi buried her face in his neck, tears spilling against her will. "I was going to tell you, I just didn't want it to be why you came back. I didn't want to live my life wondering if the baby was the only reason…I'm so stupid."
Hunter hugged her closer and brushed his lips across her temple. He ran a gentle hand through her hair and shook his head. "I love you, Bob, no matter what happens, I'll always come back; for you, because I love you. You know I can't stay mad for long, Bobbi."
She sobbed and nodded, clutching his shirt tightly. She wasn't sure that was true, she'd lied to him too many times, but it was done now. This was not how she wanted him to forgive her or how she wanted to reunite with her husband, but it was happening and she couldn't stop it.
"I mean it, Bob," he whispered, kissing her forehead as he let her go.
Bobbi leaned back, her hand instinctively reaching for her middle but his hand stopped her. She knew what it was before he pressed it into her palm but the familiar shape against her palm broke open the floodgates; Hunter did love her and she'd messed things up and she was the reason why their baby was gone.
Hunter slipped into her bed and held her against his chest. Her heart monitor beeped loudly, out of control, and she ripped out her I.V., needing to be closer to Hunter. Bobbi hugged him tightly, clutching the keychain so tightly it tore into her already broken skin, and cried harder than she'd ever cried in her life.
She wasn't sure how long they sat there after Jemma had come in, furious, and patched her back up and scolded her for a good thirty minutes about how she'd restrain her and sedate her if she had to. Bobbi ignored her, her eyes never leaving Hunter's as she let herself keep crying, not caring about an audience. At some point she'd run out of tears, her body too worn out to keep going.
She stared up at the ceiling, broken, still clutching the keychain between their clutched hands while Hunter held her, his lips buried in her hair where he placed small kisses along her scalp, his own tears staining her.
"We'll try again, yeah Bob?
When this is over? Go away, do it right. Keep this one safe?"
Tears filled her eyes again and she didn't know how she had any left. She loved that he knew she couldn't leave, not now. She wasn't going anywhere. She planned to hunt down every last Hydra bastard and make them pay and she knew he'd be by her side.
They were finally a team and knowing all it took was losing their baby to do it made her sick.
Literally.
"Get him," Bobbi hissed when she lifted her head from the bin, her eyes boring into his. "Find him and bring him to me. I want him to suffer."
"Bob-"
"That pain you feel? That's nothing. You didn't even know but I…I loved that baby for weeks, Lance. He was a part of me and now he's gone and I need to hurt someone; he's the reason why we won't get to dress our baby up like a cowboy this Halloween or go crazy at Christmas and why I feel this rage inside of me that is never going to go away. Please, do this for me."
She knew she was manipulating him and he knew it but she could see he needed this just as much as she did. They were going to pay for doing this to her and then she was going to make sure Hydra was gone for good. It was the only way.
She wouldn't take the risk of bringing a child into this world, not again.
And she wanted that life, she knew that now. She'd been worried she wasn't made for it, that she was damaged, but she knew she wanted to try. And she couldn't do that, not until she was sure she was bringing her baby into a world that was better than the one her sibling would have been brought into.
"I'm not leaving you, Bob, we can find him together."
She shook her head. "No, he's good; Nat good. Hell, if you can't find him she can and she'll help; Clint too."
"Are my ears burning," Clint asked from the doorway, a shit-eating grin on his face.
Bobbi released Hunter's hand and sat up when Nat poked her head in and grinned, about to cry, two emotional to make a hearing aide joke. "You two…"
"Phil calls after pretending to be dead for three years, says he needs out help, who are we to say 'no'," Nat teased with a wink. "You look good, Bob, better watch out, Hunter or I'm stealing your wife."
Bobbi gave her old partner a smile which she returned before giving her another wink and pushing Clint out the door before he could even say 'hello'. The old team, back together, and she was stuck in the hospital; figured.
"Go, I have it covered, Hunter," May whispered, appearing from nowhere. Damn, she was good.
He didn't look sure but Bobbi nodded. She wanted him here, she did, but she needed this. She reached up and pulled him down, kissing him. "Please," she whispered, breaking away and resting her forehead against his. "Get him and come home to me and when I can spring this joint the four of us can show the Hydra bastards what happens when you piss of S.H.I.E.L.D., yeah?"
Hunter ran his fingers over her cheek and nodded. "Keep my wife safe, yeah May?"
"You two get married again while I was out?"
Hunter stared down at the keychain in her hand and met Bobbi's eyes again with a smile. "Something like that."
Bobbi smiled and kissed him again before shoving him away. "Go, before my hormones make me weepy and I change my mind."
"See what I put up with? She-devil," he muttered, his heart not into it, but at least he was trying to be his normal, charming self.
Hunter stopped at the door and glanced back at her and she could see the pain in his eyes, matching her own.
"I love you," Bobbi called, knowing he needed to hear it and she needed to remind him.
"Yeah? Good, because for some bloody reason I love you."
Bobbi chuckled, surprised she had it in her. He gave her a final look and turned to leave but she called after him.
"Hunter? Don't die out there."
He grinned. "Don't die in here." And he disappeared from view.
Bobbi leaned back against her pillow and let May take her hand. She felt her fingers brushing her forehead but she was too devastated to enjoy seeing Melinda May show her mothering side. She wasn't done breaking down and for some reason she trusted May enough to do it again.
"Don't hold it in. It just makes it worse," May whispered, holding her, as if speaking from experience.
"Does it ever stop hurting?" Bobbi managed to choke out, doing her best not to alert the good Doctor Simmons to this crying fit. Bobbi wasn't in the mood for another lecture.
"No," May answered honestly. "You just learn to live with it."
Bobbi nodded, unable to speak. May held her closer and kissed the top of her head, which only made Bobbi cry harder.
"I never wanted this for you."
Neither did Bobbi.