Prologue:
I don't know when this all started to happen. It just did. To be honest it feels so surreal and I keep saying to myself that it's all a dream. But yet, I don't ever wake up. I keep going through the days and nights and can't seem to keep up with them. Feels like when one day ends, the next morning it starts back again. He and I still aren't talking, he and I are still on bad terms, he and I may not have the same connection we used to have ever again and the list goes on and on.
Ever since that day she confessed her love to him, things went downhill from there. He avoids me, to say the least, and mostly spends his time with her. It irks me to no end. I don't understand how he can do such a thing to me and then come back and think everything alright. Because it's not. He thinks I don't know. That I don't notice what really is going on. Well, he surely doesn't know me like he says he does at all then.
Every night, when no one is around, I sneak into my room and lock all the doors and close all the curtains in my room. My once brightly lit room becomes dark and dreary, just like how I am feeling. I always curl up in my bed and stare at the blank wall for what seems like eternity while I listen to my "elfin lied" soundtrack. I t gets me even more depressed then I would be at the moment and it actually feels nice. I can't help but feel a sense of sanctuary in my depressive state for it provides me my own little place to escape. Escape from the world, escape from life, escape from him.
I wake up soon after, hearing nothing but the crickets outside and the occasional foot steps of the people walking by outside my door and notice I drifted off to sleep…again. I tend to do that when I am in my own little world. I glance over and notice it's twelve and I come to realize I have been out for a long time. Usually I would awake between three or four AM so this is early for me. I feel like getting up but then I again I don't. I want to lay here but then again I don't. I want to die but then again I don't. Sounds odd for me out of all people to wish death upon myself over some guy. But the truth is he isn't just some guy. He is thee guy. The one I would want to spend eternity with. Even after death. It just pains me to know that he has feelings for her and not me. It pains me to know that he whispers those three sweet words in her ear right after he says it in mine. It pains me to know that they are a couple…or whatever the fuck you wan to call it when we still are. It pains me to know he is probably laying his head next to hers after a long passionate night they might have shared. It pains me to know that while I am sitting her breaking my chocolate skin with this razor's edge, he is there sipping a beer not even aware that I am slowly breaking.
A/N: This is just the prologue and the first chap will be updated when I get around to it. I was bored and I think this sux but hell I am bored and when I am bored, I do some crazy shiyt.