Author's Note: When reading this, it's important to remember that this is a very close first-person perspective. I did it that way for a reason, and I encourage you to give it a chance. Ino has a very strong voice. But this point of view also means that the way things are described may not always reflect objective reality, and certainly will often not conform to my own views.

Chapter One

So the day Iruka-sensei made the announcement, I'd just had to do a group assignment with Nara Shikamaru, who was misogynistic and whiny and called me "bossy," which was any guy's word for a girl who took charge and made shit happen. Just because he didn't give a shit about his grades or his standing in the class didn't mean I had to go down along with him. I was currently snickering and flicking bits of paper at the back of Haruno Sakura's head. Finally, she whipped back around in her seat to glare at me, and I smirked.

I wasn't really naturally mischievous. Flirtatious and playful, yes, but not a troublemaker. My class already had a class clown, his name was Uzumaki Naruto, and that was more his thing. I was neutral to him. He didn't fuck with me, I didn't fuck with him, and we were fine. But Sakura and I had a history. I saw her being bullied one day when we were kids and I saved her, bringing her into my friends circle and helping her with things like looking prettier, being more confident, and being better at the ninja arts - things that would hopefully keep her from being bullied in the future, you know? And she'd needed all the help she could get, let me tell you. She wasn't ugly or anything, no girl really was with the right help, but she wore her hair all the wrong way, dressed in all the wrong colors, was shy and under confident and not good at the ninja arts, and the list went on and on.

Sakura blossomed under my care - and then we both fell in love with the same guy. And while I'm competitive as hell and fight like nobody's business, and while I'm better than everybody else in the room and you'd damn well better believe I know it, I didn't actually break up the friendship. I cared about Sakura. She was the one who broke up the friendship. And did that hurt? Yeah. I'm a total bitch, but I'll admit. It hurt.

We became rivals, fighting for the attention of Uchiha Sasuke, our mutual crush. Maybe partly because Sakura had taken all my life lessons and gone on to use them against me - which, I guess I forgot to teach her, is on the cardinal list of "shit girls don't do to each other" - I fought against her bitterly. I would get Uchiha Sasuke, and she wouldn't.

See, the thing about Sakura was, she had it all wrong. On several fronts. First, she was the top kunoichi in our class, which was absolutely infuriating because she was a total wimp. Yeah, on the surface she did all the ninjutsu perfectly, and she was good at breaking out of genjutsu. She was also wicked smart, I'd give her that. But physically, she wouldn't have lasted a second out in the field. Her chakra stamina and size was nonexistent, she had no concrete outside skills, and in everything from running to taijutsu, she was kind of pathetic. I also couldn't really imagine her ever putting up much of a fight unless she was forced into a situation where she either had to fight or she died, either, in spite of how temperamental, shrewish, and brainy she was.

She also did all the stuff I'd taught her? Totally incorrectly. For example, we both grew out our hair because we thought it would make us look better. I put mine in a long ponytail, sensible and out of my face. Sakura wore hers long and loose, which was like totally impractical for out in the field? Or to give another example, I'd taught her about diets. I'd meant health food diets, eating the right foods and jogging correctly and that kind of thing. I was a total health snob; health was important. Sakura took the word "diet" a bit too literally - she just never ate anything. She fainted a lot during PT, too. It concerned me, which was irritating because it meant that deep down on a subconscious level I still cared about her.

Yeah. I kind of needed to work on that.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't envy Sakura. Did she get more crushes from fellow classmates? Yeah. I'll fess up to that. With my makeover, complete with long glossy hair, cute hair ribbons, carefully applied makeup, and an adorable red kunoichi dress, she looked great. She was smart but she gave off that delicate "please protect me" kind of aura. All the guys went for her. At least, all the guys who ever went for anyone did.

But I refused to compare myself to her and envy some other woman. If a guy didn't like me, that was their loss, because I was sexy as fuck and nobody but nobody better turn me down to my face. I had all the busty curves that Sakura didn't, I took awesome care of my body, I had a sexy little revealing black kunoichi dress, I wore my hair like an actual goddamn ninja, I was tough and physically strong with really nice calves, and I had that icy pale, platinum blonde, piercing blue eyes sort of Winter complexion look.

I was also, you know, completely awesome. I didn't hit people when annoyed the way Sakura did, and never once did I complain loudly about (the guy who had a gigantic crush on Sakura) Uzumaki Naruto and say he was lucky for having no parents, whining about my own parents, the way Sakura was known to with random classmates. Would I ever go out with Uzumaki Naruto? Not in a million years. Any guy I dated would be in part a status symbol, and right now in his life Naruto wasn't a good one. He was also a goofy extrovert, not my type. But it was still a shitty thing to say. I didn't always get along with my mother, a staid, dignified, silent, strict, and straight-laced elderly woman, but you didn't see me bitching about that. Because I knew my Mom loved me, and I was my Daddy's Little Girl, and I was lucky to have them and I was lucky to have my clan.

But the biggest thing Sakura didn't get? Sasuke himself. Sakura looked at Sasuke's tall, pale, dark haired handsomeness, his genius, and his quiet reserve, and she imagined someone who was shy, who secretly had a heart of gold. I knew the truth.

Sasuke was a total dick.

That was what I loved about him. He was wealthy, powerful, and contemptuous. He was wicked smart and chalk full of arrogance. He knew he was better than everybody else in the room. He wasn't shy. He was an asshole. He didn't interact with others because he didn't want to. And he needed someone who understood that about him, but forced themselves in his face sometimes and got him to open up anyway.

So I had a strategy. In public forums where he was already interacting with other people, I flirted with Sasuke, teasing him, smirking, bold and upfront. I let him know I felt. None of that shy, sweet, simpering, pretend-girlish Sakura crap. But when he left everybody else behind and wanted to be alone? I followed him from a distance. Sakura had spent years trying to figure out where Sasuke ate lunch; I'd tracked his empty classroom down by year three. But I didn't enter it. Instead, I sat nearby. He ate lunch in his classroom, and I ate lunch on my walkway.

Because that was in the end all he really wanted. Someone who understood him and put up with him. I'd always understood Sasuke as kind of a traditionalist. And I was okay with that, because I knew arrogant, powerful, self-confident Sasuke would accept a strong kunoichi in his life who had a career and was able to hold her own against him. I knew he wanted that. And that was all I needed, so I felt we could have a mutually beneficial arrangement. I was from a strong, wealthy clan, and I kicked ass. We were both great status symbols for each other.

That was my plan. I was going to be one awesome-fucking-punkass kunoichi, impress Sasuke, and marry into the Uchiha clan. The Uchiha had a reputation for darkness, but so did my clan, the Yamanaka, mind readers who usually went into torture and interrogation for the ninja forces. I thrived in darkness. And I knew all the ways to show off my properly feminine wiles, having mastered all the kunoichi's seductive techniques, so I knew how to be feminine enough to suit the wife of an Uchiha - when I wanted to be.

I had strategized the shit out of my romantic future. I had it all planned out.

And now you're caught up. I had not sat near Sasuke, who didn't want people too close to him, but I was keeping an eye on him from a distance and flicking spit-balls at Sakura's head, smirking. She whirled around to glare at me, I gave her a catty look, and we're back to square one.

"Class, today I have a special announcement," said Iruka-sensei, a "loyal dog with innocent doe eyes" sort of guy with a clan marking across his nose. (Not a scar. A clan marking. I'd looked close.) Iruka believed in the power of positive language with his Academy students. He practically had a "special announcement" every other day.

So I didn't really pay attention until he got to the next part. "It is an opportunity specifically for young kunoichi Academy students." I looked up. An all women kind of thing? Now that perked my interest.

"There is a new program being trialed for young Academy level kunoichi," Iruka continued. "In an effort to improve the number and strength of women in the forces, Konoha is instating a kunoichi mentor program. Each girl who applies will be assigned a Chuunin or Jounin ranked woman to mentor them for their remaining time at the Academy. Only one girl will be assigned to each woman, so if you apply, you will get plenty of one on one time with your kunoichi mentor.

"In order to fulfill the assignment part of this exercise, the kunoichi woman and female Academy student must meet at least once a week, and send in a report of what they've learned from each other once a month.

"All applications will be handed in to me. You can get them up on my desk at the front of the classroom. They are only one page to fill out, and due on Friday.

"With that said, class dismissed for lunch."

Everyone stood with squeaks of chairs, and I joined the crowds of girls thronging to the front of the room. Hell yeah I was going to join his program; I wanted to get stronger and it sounded awesome. I totally wanted to be mentored by a kickass kunoichi woman! Just then, Sakura blew past me and I paused in surprise. She grabbed a form first and gave me an ugly look.

I glared. Then I smirked. "You know, Forehead Girl, it's really immaterial," I said. Yeah, I picked out her most sensitive feature and used the name her childhood bullies used to use for her, but she called me a pig, so it all evened out. My name meant boar, because my parents were cruel and thoughtless, but she also knew pig was a method of body shaming and having a fit body was important to me. "I'll beat you at any rate. You can't win."

"I will win," she said fiercely, "Ino-pig." And then the childish, insecure piece of shit flounced out of the room to begin her afternoon wandering the grounds calling mournfully for Sasuke.

I took a form, went to my usual walkway, sat down, and snuck a glance sideways at Sasuke in his empty classroom below. I was pretty sure he knew I was there - he was certainly a good enough ninja to keep aware of his surroundings - but I didn't bother him, so he never said or did anything. And we usually sat in amiable silence.

That was my usual routine: Get up early for my jogging and my beauty routine, have breakfast, go to class, spend lunch near Sasuke, go back to class, head home and look after my mother's flower shop or do some shopping. Some people claimed you didn't have to look good for someone who really loved you, but I was pretty sure that little piece of bullshit only applied after you'd actually gained the person. To attract attention, especially as a kunoichi, looking good was important. And I was so amazing, it would be a crime not to look good.

Fuck what other people thought. I wanted to look good… yeah for Sasuke, but mostly for myself. I wanted to walk into the room knowing I was totally the hottest girl there. It was a good self confidence boost.

My competitions with Sakura and my goal for Sasuke made up most of my life, so that was about it. I won at life and I was going to be a cool kunoichi. Deal with it.

I looked over the form curiously, munching away at my salad and my cup of chocolate pudding. I loved pudding. I had a single cup of it each day, and it was my treat to myself for being healthy for the rest of the day.

The application wanted me to describe my personality and what I wanted for a mentor. Eventually, in official blue-black ink, I scribbled down:

"Sly, sassy, kickass, and tough. I don't take no shit, and I fight like nobody's business. I want a similarly kickass, take-no-names, vicious kunoichi woman who will teach me how to be the hottest, coolest, and strongest girl in town. Self confidence and force of personality is absolutely essential."

I looked over the description, and smirked. Yeah. That should give me someone worth my time.