Chapter 1: Anxiety

"First skipped message; 'Bella, it's almost one in the morning. I may be old, but even I know that movies don't last five hours. I have already left a voicemail at the Stanley's. Get home, now.' To delete this message, press sev-."

"Next skipped message; 'Isabella Marie Swan, if I do not see you walking through this front door in the next ten minutes, you are in big trouble!' To delete this message, press sev-."

"Next skipped message; 'Bella, honey, Mrs. Stanley called and said that Jessica thought you went home last night. Please, wherever you are, come home. I know it's been tough lately but I can help you! Please Bells, please...' To delete this message, press sev-."

"Next skipped message; 'Bells!? It's Jake, your dad has a search party looking for you. Please come home honey, we miss you. I miss you. It's been two days. Call me.' To save this message in the archives, press fou-."

"First new message; 'Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to help. Your mother and I are so worried. I hope, no, I need you to be okay. I love you, call me.' To save this message in the archives, press four."

This wasn't like me, and they knew it. Charlie knew that I would never run away, no matter how depressed I was. I was so adamant about staying in Forks. I was so insistant that I was fine, that Jake was helping me get better. And now I was too much of a coward to call either of them, to let them know that I was okay. That I had made a decision. I tried so hard to block out the past months, to make myself numb. To make Charlie believe that I was getting better. I guess he wasn't fooled.

I cried silently as the sun began to set in the window of the United Airlines plane that I had just boarded. I had sat in Seattle long enough, two and a half days, trying to work up the courage to do what only took me a few seconds to decide. I tried so hard to be numb, to forget everything. But, I was scarred. Scarred with his love, or what I thought to be love. He didn't want me. His family didn't want me. I had made a decision but I knew that Alice, her name not causing the gaping hole in my chest to throb quite as badly, would not be looking for my future. Why would she?

My arms wrapped around my torso, keeping me whole. I had to keep it together. If I was going to be numb, to be whole again, then there was only one direction that I could take. I knew that I would never forget them. That they were apart of me, and even if they didn't want me, I was apart of them in their everlasting memories. I couldn't wipe my eyes hard enough as the tears continued, practically creating two halves of me as I was torn from the inside out. I passed out not soon after, sleep wrapping me in a protective cacoon.

A fit of turbulance woke me. The flight attendant must have shut the window shade for me and I was blinded as I opened them to see the early light of morning. I opened my phone just to see a black screen; it must have died. I coughed from a dry throat and waved down the flight attendant.

"Hi," my voice probably sounded as rough as I looked, "can I please get some water?" She nodded to me and practically skipped off. What I wouldn't give to be happy like her.

I drank my water slowly, savoring the coolness as it went from my tongue to my stomach. The captain announced that we would be landing soon and something similar to butterflies began forming in my stomach. I hadn't been able to quite get that feeling ever since they left. I looked at the small flip phone and imagined how many more messages must be on it now. All of the worry and stress that I was putting my family and friends through. The tears began to roll on queue. My family may never see me again. They may never know what happened to me or what my decision was. But for my sake, for me to feel whole, I had to do this.

I stepped out of the plane as soon as the attendates let me. The airport was buzzing with excited travelers who were on vacation. I could understand their excitement. When I was little, I enjoyed flying. As I grew older, I associated it with going to Washington and that made me hate it, up until Charlie would go to California with me. I hated flying even more now.

I checked in with my passport and after a quick pat down, randomly selected I was sure, I stepped out into the heat of the sun. Italy was beautiful, around the airport were rolling hills and blue skies. I had never been before, but for just a moment the scenery made me forget my worries. The hole in my chest quickly reminded me of why I flew hours and made my family believe the worst. I hailed a taxi and gave her the directions that I was looking for. Unfortunately, there was a language gap and it took twenty minutes to communicate, effectively adding to my anxiety.

I had no idea of what to look for. My decision came from a momentary lapse in brain management, when I remembered him telling me about three brothers who, essentially, ruled over the immortal world; or kept the peace. They were under the affiliation 'The Volturi', yet I knew I would never be able to ask a human about where they were located. I had never actually found out if they resided in a specific location or if they were nomads. Given the name, I settled for Italy as a first resort. I had never thought of myself as great when it came to word games, and I especially hated crossword puzzles. However, after a quick google search before I left home, the city of Volterra came most closely to the name that held such power. I shook my head. This was ridiculous. How could a human find three vampires? Even if they took up residence in Volterra, or any other city for that matter, how could I convince them to change me? My only hope of becoming whole was to become an immortal. To fill the expanse in my chest with diamond. I would never forget the family that I longed to be apart of, but by becoming one of them maybe I could stop grieving over my loss.

The cab driver sung a tune in Italian as she drove at a speed that I felt was too slow for my situation. I had always wanted to visit Italy, my name coming from the language, but never thought I would have the time nor money to do so as a vacation. I spent everything I had to get to where I was and if it turned out that I was wrong in my assumption I would be stuck in a foreign country. Part of me wanted to turn around and head back home, to tell everyone that I was fine. But I'd never be fine, at least not as a human.

It took forty minutes to arrive at Volterra and another twenty to enter the city. Tourists were abound and it made the traffic practically stand still. The cab fee wasn't as much as I had expected and I paid the driver with the money I had exchanged at the airport. I had eaten very little since lift off, my meals comprising of crackers and seven-up. I would stop at a small shop when I came across one and grab some food as I searched.

The city was expansive, yet very closed in. The streets wound between tall buildings and I easily made multiple circles until I noticed that maps were posted for travellers around almost every corner. There was a clock tower and a fountain that, though it was not the center of the city, looked like a good place to start. I chewed on my ham sandwich that I had bought from a local deli as my anxiety grew. I was no longer anxious about the meeting with the three brothers, I was anxious about never finding them. Volterra was very sunny, so why would I ever find a vampire here? My worries grew like weeds, crippling me. I veered off into an allyway just off the street and sank against the wall, sobbing uncontrollably.

"This was so stupid, Bella!" I lightly pounded my fists to the sides of my temple in frustration. "Why would this ever work? Why would you leave your family, Jake, for something so hopeless?" I cried harder, convulsions racking my body.

Ten minutes passed and my sobs quieted. I was sure people on the street could hear me but no one came to check. And I realized why. If a citizen were to have looked down the ally to see me they would have also seen another with me, looking as if I were being consoled. I stared at the person next to me. She was beautiful, there was no questioning that, even with her scowl. She wore a hooded, cloak? I wasn't sure. It was pitch black and her snow white skin contrasted with it, making it look like she was glowing. If there was one thing I was sure of in this life, it was what she was. The dead giveaway would have been her eyes. They were like rubies, a glint of malice in them. For me, I knew because of her skin, her smell, seeing that she must have been holding her breath so as not to cause a scene. I knew my blood was potent for many vampires and especially potent to him. But I wasn't afraid. This was why I travelled here, to meet a vampire. The only issue was, this was not one of the brothers.

"Who are you?" I choked out, my tears ceasing. I knew that was an innane question, but I could only imagine one type of vampire who would stand next to me and not try to kill me, and those vampires did not have red eyes. I decided that now was as good a time as any to try to get answers, "I'm looking for the Volturi. For the three brothers who keep peace in your world." The statement sounded a lot braver than I could have ever imagined. The hole throbbed deeply.

The vampire stared at me for a long moment and sucked in air. Her lungs must have been empty the whole time she was standing there. She radiated unpleasantness.

"Then you are in the right place. However, I am not sure you realize how much danger you are in. Humans are not to know of our existence." Her eyelids shut, caging in the monsters that they held. "I would normally kill you. And you smell quite good. However, a few moments ago you said 'Bella'. Is that your name?" She kept iconically still.

"Yeah, my name is Bella. How do you know me?" My luck couldn't have gotten any better. A vampire who knew me, in Italy, where I was in the right place? I had never been a lucky person, but I was about to start praying as if a god were bestowing his light upon me.

"Edward," my chest ripped open, "had thoughts about you when he was here. Although I did not get to see them, Master Aro was quite fond of the bond you two shared." Her scowl deepened. "It was also told to us that Edward could not read your mind, as he can for any other, human or vampire. And a few minutes ago I tried my gift. It does seem that you are special."

"How do you know him? Why was he here?" The realization that he had been here hit me, knocking the wind out of my lungs. How long ago had it been? Did I just miss him? I felt sick to my stomach.

"He was here asking to die." A smile played on her perfect lips, "Or, should I say, to make an agreement. He wanted us to destroy him in eighty years or so, when you passed. However Master Aro believed that his gift was too precious to waste." She opened her eyes and huffed, as if she was jealous.

I understood. I wanted to be dead, if I could not have him. I was only still alive because it was what was best for Charlie and Jake and Renee. But he didn't want me, and at that point I was confused. Why would he ask to die at my time of passing? Surely it was out of guilt, knowing that he had left me in a perpetual state of unhappiness? I couldn't wrap my head around it and the ally wall began to contract.

"Neither here nor there now, as he has left. I'll take you to Master Aro, I am sure that your 'gift' will intrigue him, if only as an experiement for a short while." Her smile grew sadistic as the light faded from my eyes, blackness enveloping me. "And my name is Jane, I do hope that Master Caius doesn't let Master Aro keep you. You smell very delectable."

…..

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, follow and review!

This chapter is set before Jake turns wolf.