A/N: Ok, so I have been promising this for a long, long time. And (this part of it at least) has been written for half as long as it's been promised. I -am- working on it though. Also, this is crack. Plain and simple.

There's blood on his lips and an ache somewhere in the vicinity of his chest that is so strong he can barely breathe, but despite the improbability of it, Zack keeps breathing. He opens his eyes, not to the Midgar skies, but to a skyline almost entirely filled with trees and greenery. For a second it reminds him so much of home that it was just short of a physical ache. He closes his eyes for a breath, feeling his lungs fill with air, the lack of pain accompanying it, then opens them again, staring blankly up at the sky.

"So this is what heaven is like," he mutters to himself, hearing whispers of 'Promised Land' and 'Ancient' echo through his head for a moment. He shrugs it away, along with the rest of his regrets and worries. He doesn't think about Aerith and Cloud, he won't think about Aeris and Cloud, mind shying away from the topic like it's a wounded animal.

He lies there for a moment, just breathing in. It's nice, not being chased or needed, not fighting for his life. This thought is immediately followed by another internal wince, at the reminder that he hadn't survived. -Cloud had, he'd live enough for the both of them, he was sure of it.-

There's so much he left undone, so much he wanted to do and for a moment he just lets it all overwhelm him. He closes his eyes, embracing his dreams one last time, then forces himself to his feet, leaving them and everything he was behind in the grass.

"Guess it's time to go find Angeal," he says, stretching. Once his muscles are warmed up, he runs his hands over his uniform, fingering the bullet holes left in his uniform, brushing over smooth, unmarked skin. He can still taste blood, but everything else is fine now -not everything, but he won't think about that now-. His stomach rumbles and he laughs; some things never change, not even in death.

It never occurs to him to think that he's still alive

There are monsters even in the afterlife. Zack wishes he could say he was surprised, but after the seventh time he's surprised by one of the bug things, it has kind of faded away. At least the bugs go down quick, the dinosaurs on the other hand… There's no way he can take one of those things barehanded, so he has run from every single one he's encountered. And sometimes those he hasn't, because as huge as they are, he can hear them coming from a mile away.

The forest is a tangle of trees with no discernible pathways, at first Zack had just picked a direction and walked, but he's pretty sure that between the monsters and the running he's just been going around in circles. In fact, he stops and inspects a very familiar looking boot-mark on the ground, he's been making circles within circles. So far he has seen zero signs of other humans, just monsters that would love to eat him.

Just as he's about to resign himself to spending his afterlife in the forest, wandering around in circles until he gets fed up and burns the entire thing down, he hears a faint scream. He immediately turns to face the noise -ok, so maybe he hadn't put aside his dream of being a hero, not really-, one hand raising to his chest when the voice is followed by the sound of gunfire.

Without even the slightest hint of hesitation -any pain at the noise is immediately tucked away in the spot of his mind he is not thinking about-, Zack dives through the underbrush. It might not be alive, but whatever it is, it's certainly human.

He dashes past several groups of bugs, a caterpillar thing he hasn't seen before, one of the baby dinosaur things and finally arrives in the clearing where the fight is taking place. One dinosaur standing over a human, larger than any of the others he has seen, mouth gaping and bloody as it roars; one civilian on the ground, long dark hair, casual clothing, assault rifle -why?- at his side, there's a smear of blood on his forehead and an expression of terror on his face.

Zack doesn't even think about it. In one instant, he's on the other side of the clearing, in the next, he's launched himself at the dinosaur, punching it in the jaw with all the strength he can muster. Which being that he is a Soldier: first class, with a hell of a lot of 'extra' modifications courtesy of Hojo, means that as soon as his fist connects with the dinosaur's skin it goes flying through the air, landing on a tree with a resounding thump. It doesn't get up again, instead it gives a shudder and disappears; Zack's pockets suddenly feel a lot heavier.

"Ehehehehe," Zack laughs nervously, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly as he turns to face the civilian on the ground. "Oops?" The civilian stares at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. For a second, Zack is afraid that one of those bug things is about to show up and go into his mouth, it's certainly wide enough.

"Are the fairies watching over you too?" The man asks finally, one hand reflexively twitching towards his gun. Zack graciously ignores it.

"What?" He says instead, the question bursting out from behind his lips before he can stop it. He studies the man for a moment, putting his hands on his hip and tilting his head. The clothes could pass for modern, blue denim on denim, white shirt, the rifle is certainly one he doesn't recognize. He has more than a passing familiarity with them after all -and that immediately gets shoved into the not thinking place-.

They stare at each other for a beat. Zack scratches his head. "Buddy, how long have you been dead for?" He asks.

"What?" The other echoes, looking more confused than Zack feels.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Zack Fair met Laguna Loire.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.

To be continued, obviously.