That Feeling Inside, a class of the titans fanfic

Hello people

After my unexplained absence from FanFiction, I've been very busy planning new stories. This is one of them. It's the sequel to 'Old Friends', a story that I've only just finished. I hope it explains some stuff.

Anyway, this isn't my usual genre, so I hope it's ok.

That Feeling Inside

He regretted it, there was no denying.

Inside his head, he would see her face every day, and the regret and anger would boil up inside him. Why did he let her leave? He should have done something! But no, he had to be a stupid pig-headed idiot and walk away. And now where was she? Living with his old best friend- Artemis Fowl the Second, an ex-criminal teenage genius. And why had she left- she didn't want him any more.

Jay was going to be leaving New Olympia in two days. They had finally beaten Cronus. Or rather, Theresa and Artemis did. He didn't even do anything, apart from destroying a fake Time Virus while Theresa had to do battle with the evil god. She almost was killed, all because of his stupid plan.

And now, she was with Artemis, living happily in his mansion across the Atlantic Ocean.

If Jay could have taken back the last few days, he would have in an instant. He would have never walked away when he saw Artemis and Theresa kissing. He would have told Theresa the minute he got out of the portal. And if she said no, well at least he had the guts to say it before she left.

Speaking of that, she didn't even say goodbye to him, but she did call Atlanta on her PMR. Why wasn't he worth a call? According to Atlanta, she could talk to him because she was upset about leaving. But Jay knew the real truth that Atlanta couldn't bear telling him.

Theresa had a different love.

Before they captured Cronus, he always assumed that he and Theresa would get together after they left New Olympia. He always had that feeling that they would be together in the future. But now, all traces of that feeling were gone. Theresa loved Artemis, not him. And they would never see each other again.

He should be proud of Theresa. She was helping Nerd Boy to find a cure for Global Warming. That was a really impressive feat. But, he didn't feel pride for his old teammate. All he felt was emptiness, and despair.

Jay never felt complete without all his team around. But no one was in the Brown Stone today. Herry was in the hospital, recovering from a small stab wound, courtesy of a young scout in Australia. Neil was helping Odie to pack all his computers away. And he suspected that Atlanta and Archie were doing what he should have done a long time ago- confessing their feelings.

He had nothing against this, but somehow he felt like they were rubbing it in that they had each other. He knew he should be happy- Archie was one of his best friends after all. But, that feeling inside him could only feel sadness.

He was due to leave the Brownstone in a day or two. He had called his parents and told them that he was coming home for his seventeenth birthday, which was only a few weeks away. He would tell them then that he was moving back home.

He wasn't sure what he was going to tell his friends and family about the whole 'saving the world' thing. The gods hadn't exactly said that they weren't allowed, but he knew that they would disapprove of them telling anyone. They had almost considered wiping Neil's mind to stop him blabbing.

He would tell his parents though. They had the right to know. Besides, how was he supposed to know what the Canadian Astronaut Training School was like?

Thinking about his friends and family brought back that feeling inside him. He hadn't spoke to his friends or family in months. He had called his parents at Christmas, three months ago. He hadn't spoken to his friends since he left almost two years ago.

It would feel weird going back. He had grown so accustomed to life in New Olympia; it would be like moving countries just to go home.

He could barely even remember his old school or his old friends. They had just faded away once he started life in New Olympia.

During his first few months at New Olympia, he had often wondered whether his friends had asked where he was. He hadn't said goodbye or anything. Did he just fade away too?

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I look at myself in the mirror, and all I can't even see myself.

Or, at least what I thought used to be me.

I'm in my new life at Fowl Manor. It's great here- Mr and Mrs Fowl are the nicest people on the planet. Artemis is lucky to have them as his parents.

Then there's his twin brothers that are both almost five. One's a genius. The other is a complete nut case. But they completely look up to Artemis, and he adores them.

It's weird being here. The Fowls make me feel so welcome, but I can't help but have that feeling inside that I'm an outsider. I feel like I'm invading their space. Which is kind of hard, considering the Fowls live in a mansion.

Artemis has been great since we left New Olympia. Things are, well, nice between us. We're not like together, but we do have our more private moments.

It's like he really understands me. He's used to people not taking him seriously because he's only a teen, but he's one of the most intelligent people in the world. People always laugh when I say that I'm a black belt, because they think I'm the typical Daddy's-little-rich-girl.

Dad. I haven't seen him for months. He doesn't even know that I left New Olympia. But Artemis is going to take care of that. We're stopping at his new house in England on our way to the Amazon.

I think I've made the right decision to be here. I'm about to help save the world, again! People would jump at the chance to be me. And this time, when we're saving the world, people can know about it. Like, back in New Olympia, everything was hush hush. Now it's like 'where's those paparazzi? Get my photo in the papers!' It's great, I'm being finally acknowledged. I know I sound like Neil, but sometimes a girl needs to be recognized.

Everything's absolutely perfect. Except for one tiny little thing.

Jay.

I still have no clue on what to do. Should I call him? What would I say? Artemis offered to call him for me, but somehow I don't think Jay would be happy about him calling. According to Atlanta, he isn't too happy about the me and Artemis thing.

But, I get that feeling inside whenever I decide not to call. I guess it is pretty tight just leaving without saying goodbye. I just wish that this whole thing would be so much easier.

Madam Ko, my new mentor, tells me that I have to let this whole thing drop. She says that to be able to help Artemis in the Amazon, I have to be totally focused. "The principal is more important that your tiny problems!" She is always barking at me.

She's a… different type of person. She's used to training bodyguards in her personal protection academy. She developed a type of martial arts that is about protecting the employer, or the 'principal' as she calls them. Artemis is my principal when we get to the Amazon, and I have to protect him with my life.

It's weird how things turn out. Barely two weeks ago he was an ex-criminal about to nock the 'ex' of criminal. Now, he's the most amazing guy on the planet that I would die for. Strange, eh?

Anyway, the only thing that I would change about me leaving is not saying goodbye. I should have done it, and I'm beating myself up about it. If not to Jay, I should have said something to the rest of the gang. They deserved a goodbye, and all they got was a second hand message from Atlanta.

I've toyed with the idea of using my PMR to contact them. I've still got it- Artemis was impressed by the small piece of technology and wants to copy it so he can make communicators for us when we're in the Amazon.

Two problems with calling the gang. One- they might not have them anymore. The gods might have gotten to paranoid and threw them away. After all, they did contain information on all the monsters and heroes that we ever faced.

Two- they might not accept a call from me. I did leave without telling them. Atlanta didn't say if they were upset or not. But, that feeling inside told me that they weren't angry. They couldn't be- we went through too much together.

I have to call them. There's no way that I can't. They're practically family to me. And if they don't have their PMRs, I can always ask Artemis to find out their home numbers.

I already know who I have to call. I just can't bear that feeling inside me for any longer. I have to call Jay.

I go to search for my PMR. That feeling inside tells me that I'm going to be saying some goodbyes.

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"Jay!"

And, all of a sudden, my life is somehow right again. For the moment anyway, as my mother gives me the biggest hug ever. Faintly, I can hear her sobbing quietly into my shoulder. I haven't been gone that long, have I?

But I have. I've been away from home for almost two years, fighting Cronus. But that feeling inside makes me feel like it has been forever. My mother must have that feeling too.

"Hello mum."

With that, she starts bawling her eyes out. "It's so good to have you back Jay!" She says through all the tears. "I thought you'd never come home."

I look down. "Me too, mum."

Being a true mother, she grabs my bags and leads me to my room. It's exactly the same as when I left it. She hadn't even taken down the telescope. I could see it through my window, still set up in the middle of the lawn.

The time that I used it last was the night that Cronus escaped. That night that had changed my whole life. It was two years ago, but there were still reminders of it all around me. And there probably would be until the day that I died.

Mum gives me some space to unpack my things while she calls Dad. He'll be at work, but I know he'll come home the minute he hears the news that I'm back.

I shove my bag under my bed, unable to unpack it. Too many reminders.

I look in the mirror on the wall across from the window. There's a boy in there, almost seventeen. Almost a man. But it's not me. He looks like me, but he's surrounded by six other teens. Six teens that I left behind in New Olympia.

I can't do this any more. That feeling inside me is so empty. I don't even know who I am any more. How can I live anywhere but New Olympia?

Mum walks back into the room, saying something about how glad Sam and Jack will be that I'm back. Vaguely, I remember that Sam and Jack were my two best friends.

Were.

Suddenly, I had to tell Mum. I sat down on my bed, and motioned for her to do the same.

"Mum," I begin. "There's something that I have to tell you."

Being a great mother, she says nothing. She sees how hard this is for me.

"For the past two years, I haven't exactly been in the School, training to be an astronaut. But I have been in a school, and I have been training."

She frowns, unsure of what I'm saying. But she doesn't say anything.

"I've been in New Olympia. There's a school there that approached me to learn there. But they aren't exactly normal teachers."

I pause. I'm not sure if I can say this.

Mum takes my hand. "You don't have to explain yourself Jay," she says. "I don't care where you've been. I'm just glad you're back."

I shake my head. I have to tell her. I have to get that feeling inside me that makes me feel like I've lied to her this whole time.

"The teachers are Greek gods."

If Mum's surprised, she doesn't show it. She gestures for me to continue.

"Cronus escaped from Tarturus prison, and wanted to rule the world again. He talked to an oracle, and the oracle told him that seven teenage descendants of seven Greek heroes would stop him. Cronus then set out to destroy the teens.

I'm one of the teens. I'm a descendant of Jason. I was the leader of the group.

We got taken to New Olympia, and found the hidden hideout of the gods in New Olympia High. They trained us to fight, and to develop our abilities.

After two years, we finally caught Cronus. He's back in prison, so we're back home."

I purposely leave out talking about my team. It would be to hard.

Since Mum's Greek, I don't need to explain much more. She understands that I need some time to myself, and says something about cooking some lunch. She leaves me to my thoughts.

I can hear her preparing lunch in the kitchen, but that feeling inside tells me that I'm alone.

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Too many words, too many lies

I can't quite see the truth

When I look into your eyes

I pick up my PMR, almost trancelike. The feeling inside me tells me that this is the right thing to do.

I turn it on, and select the 'contacts' button. About twenty icons show up, and I select the first one, and hope that Jay still has his PMR on him.

I feel I could

And I know I should

Step away, turn around

Let my feet hit the ground

Running

It rings for what seems eternity. I should hang up, but that feeling inside tells me to wait a little while longer.

Finally, he picks up.

He looks exactly the same as the first time I saw him two years ago. It is his seventeenth in a few weeks, but he hasn't aged a day. Still the same chocolate eyes, same blonde-streaked brown hair.

But no friendly smile. Only sadness.

"Theresa." He says simply.

I don't know what to say. That feeling inside tells me to say something, but my mouth it snapped shut. I can't talk, not to him. It's too hard, too painful.

Luckily, Jay is doing the talking for me.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

I nod. I can't do anything else.

You don't need a broken heart

To know a heart can be broken

You just need to open your eyes

We don't need to be decieved

To know a lie can be spoken

We don't have to learn everything twice

"Theresa," he says again. "There's something that I should have said before you left. Something that I should have said a long time ago.

I don't need a sixth sense to realize what he's about to say. That feeling inside tells me that he's going to say it.

And I have to tell him that I don't.

I don't know, I really don't know

If this castle in the sand

Is strong enough to stand

Clouds come down

He clears his throat. "Theresa," he begins. "I..."

I feel I could

And I know I should

Step away, turn around

Let my feet hit the ground

Running

"No!"

He looks at me, wondering why I suddenly had the ability to talk. "Jay," I say. "Before you say anything, I need to tell you something."

You don't need a broken heart

To know a heart can be broken

You just need to open your eyes

We don't need to be decieved

To know a lie can be spoken

We don't have to learn everything twice

"When I first met you, my life seemed so perfect. I was doing what I wanted to do, being who I wanted to be. We had our ups and downs, but it was still perfect.

Then, when I met Artemis, it all changed. He changed my life. Because of him, we caught Cronus.

And, suddenly, my life wasn't perfect. But, it was better somehow. He made me feel above perfect."

Cos I know how it feels

All the pain is so real

Cos you sink and you drown

'Till your feet hit the ground

I see Jay understand what I'm saying. And I know that it's breaking his heart. But I have to continue.

Running

"I once loved you Jay. But that love was never reciprocated. So when you love someone, but they don't seem to love you back, you need to get out. So this is me; getting out. You've done your part in saving the world. I'm not done yet. This is goodbye Jay."

With that, I turn off the PMR. But, before the screen fades, I see the single tear running down Jay's face. And that feeling inside me tells me that I've got tears on my own face.

Cos you don't need a broken heart

To know a heart can be broken

You just need to open your eyes

And we don't need a TV show

To show us which way to go

We just need to do what we know

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That's all, for now at least.

This is so different to what I normally write; it feels so weird when I read it. But I'm still proud of it, and I hope you guys liked it.

Yeah, there's that usually 'don't forget to review' speech that people write hear. I try to avoid it, but too late, I've already done it. Oh well.

Thanks everyone

Little Miss Illusional