"Goddamn it, come on, Ellis," Nick yelled, grabbing his arm and jerking him back.
"No! Ro and Couch are still out there! We gotta go back, man!"
Shaking his head, Nick pulled at Ellis again, fingers slipping and squelching over blood. "That's a great idea, let's just head back out there while the horde's bearing down on us! And hey, do you hear that? I think it's a tank or two! This is going to be great, good idea Ellis!"
"But-"
"We can't save them," Nick stressed. "Come on, Ellis, or I'm leaving you too!"
Ellis paused for a moment before surrendering, jerking out of Nick's grasp and heading towards the safe house door. Nick watched him with a quirked eyebrow before looking back the way they came; shadows darted in the fading evening light and howls and screams echoed. Shuddering, he followed Ellis. Closing the door and locking it, before sliding the heavy lead pipe through the holders to bind it shut. Turning, he surveyed the house.
The living room was wide and nearly empty and dark. An unpleasantly stain covered the carpet under the boarded up window and the couch was overturned. The kitchen was connected directly - no door between them - and it looked like it had been raided, the silverware missing, the small appliances destroyed. "I feel sorry for the poor asshole who gets stuck with the butter knife," Nick muttered, lips curling into a smirk.
"Med kits here." Ellis' voice, low and quiet, floated out of what Nick assumed was a bedroom.
"Good. Great. Bring 'em out here." With some effort, Nick righted the couch and fell on it, heaving a sigh. He didn't look up when Ellis sat beside him but when he felt the weight of the med kit on his leg, he grabbed it and quickly started bandaging himself up. "Goddamn hunters and their goddamn claws," he muttered, untucking his shirt and lifting it up, exposing the slashes at his abdomen. "Here, give me a hand, will you?"
Ellis grabbed the med kit and poured alcohol on one of the pads, swapping it against his cuts. "You don't...you really think they're dead?" Ellis' voice was quiet.
"Yeah, Ellis, I really think they're dead. Especially Coach. He's gone to that great cheesecake factory in the sky."
Ellis made a noise deep in his throat. "You ain't got to be such an ass about it," he muttered. His face was bowed, the brim of his cap covering his eyes but his lips were tight, his jaw clenched.
Nick noticed and sighed explosively, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jesus Christ, Ellis, this is exactly what I warned all of you about! You went and fucking got attached and now they're gone and now you're going to cry about it like a little girl!" Nick tilted his head against the plush pillows, carefully ignoring the fact that he'd fallen into the same trap. He felt eyes on him as Ellis closed the med kit and moved away.
"So...so you're sayin' you don't even care?"
"Yeah, I care a lot. It's going to be a hell of a lot harder getting anywhere now that we're down to two people."
"Fuck. That's fucking cold, man." Nick could hear shock in Ellis' voice and he sat up, pointing at him.
"Look, I don't like it either, okay? But there's jackshit I can do about it and there's no use getting all emotional about it. They're dead. That's it. Worrying about it is just going to slow us down."
"Yeah, but-"
"But nothing," Nick interrupted. "We need to stay focused on getting ourselves out of this shit. I'm sure as hell not going to die here and that means not giving a shit and not getting fazed when other survivors die, okay?" Tired of the discussion, Nick stood. "We need to get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be hell enough without being fucking exhausted too."
Ellis grabbed his axe again. "You gone on to sleep," he said, propping his feet up on a mess of splintered wood that probably use to be some kind of shitty coffee table. "I'll keep first watch."
Nick watched him, eyebrows raised. "You're okay then?" he asked, carefully keeping any kind of concern out of his voice. It was a stupid question; Ellis wore his goddamn heart on his sleeve and it was obvious he wasn't okay. But if he was okay enough...
Blinking, Ellis looked up at him. "Sure, I'm okay. 'Bout as okay as can be expected, you know, for being in the middle of a goddamn zombie apocalypse and surrounded by shit that wants to kill me." A pause. "'Course, the feelin's mutual so I reckon it's only fair." He grinned and while it was the ghost of his former smile, seeing it made Nick feel better.
"Right. Wake me when it's my shift."
"Will do."
Nick startled awake, instinctively grabbing for his shotgun before realizing he was safe. "Jesus," he said, relaxing back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. He felt incredibly rested, like he got a full night sleep. Frowning, Nick got up and went to the living room. Ellis sat on the couch and Nick could tell from his hunched, trembling shoulders that he was crying. Rubbing the back of his head, Nick made sure to make plenty of noise as he approached, giving Ellis time to wipe his face and save his dignity.
"So," he said, sitting down beside him. "What happened to waking me up when it was my shift?"
Ellis shrugged. "Jus' wasn't sleepy, I guess."
Nick nodded. "Alright." He looked at Ellis, a frown creasing his brow. It looked like even the eternal optimist could have an off night. "Are you going to be up for shooting zombies and shit after pulling an all-nighter?"
"'Course I will, I'm a zombie killing machine, man." While normally a statement like that would have been accompanied by a grin or the cock of a gun, instead Ellis just said there, staring at the safe room door.
Nick snorted. "Okay, tell me. What's on your mind? Besides the obvious, I mean." He could hardly believe he was asking.
Ellis obviously couldn't either. He stared at Nick for a moment before looking away. "Nothin's on my mind."
Nick let the joke pass. "Come on, Ellis. Don't be a baby. If this is how you're going to act for the rest of this journey, I'm going to be fucking tempted to feed you to the zombies myself."
Ellis shuddered. "Big surprise there."
Pausing, Nick frowned at him. "What the hell does that mean?"
"Not-"
"Don't fucking say 'nothing'," Nick said. "You're obviously going to pout like a girl who got stood up at prom until we have ourselves a little chat, so talk. What the hell's up with you and why the hell are you being such a little shit towards me?"
Ellis flinched away before getting to his feet. "What's gonna happen now?" he demanded. "You liked Ro and Coach and you left them out there. Now it's just me and you."
Nick ignored the dig; he didn't leave them out there, they were already dead. Why didn't Ellis fucking realize that trying to save them would have been pointless? "Yeah, and?"
"And fuck, Nick, I ain't stupid. I know you never did like me much. Are you going to bail on me now?"
Oh. Well. Nick stared up at Ellis for a moment before shaking his head. "That would be tremendously stupid of me. Two guns are always better than one." He could tell by the expression on Ellis' face that that wasn't quite what he was looking for. "And, well. Fuck, sit down, will you?" Ellis did and Nick sighed, running one hand over his face wearily. "Look, I'm sorry Rochelle and Coach are dead. I really am! The world could use more non-murderous human beings running around." Nick paused for a moment before clearing his throat and letting go of his pride. Just a little. "And I don't dislike you, okay? All that shit I spewed before was just that. Shit." He could admit that much, at least.
Ellis glanced at him. "Really?"
"Really." Nick hate this conversation, hating talking about his fucking feelings but it made Ellis look less like shit warmed over and that was enough to make it worth it. "So stop worrying about this. Whatever happens next, we're going both going to make it, right?" Nick didn't wear optimism well and hell, he wasn't sure if they really were going to make it but he had to remind Ellis that he thought they would.
"Yeah." Ellis tugged his hat off and ran a hand through his hair roughly. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it. Seriously."
Ellis' chuckled was raw and he fingered the couch's fabric, head bowed so that his cap covered his face. "I...I really am going to miss them though."
Well. It looked like confession time wasn't over. "Yeah. Me too, kid."