Chapter 1: Alone

I slammed the door shut so hard that it rocked on its rusty hinges. The state of my house was another consequence of my unfortunate associations of the last couple of months. Damn maenad. Why couldn't my house have been hit by lightning or something fucking normal? No, a crazy, ancient, immortal bitch with fucking claws had to make my home – my Gran's home – into her own personal bayou. Even though it was now clean of the moss and vines and vermin, the structural damage to the already old house was considerable. Considering also the two werewolf attacks and the various orgies and murders that had recently taken place there it was a fucking miracle that the house was standing at all.

Nothing was normal anymore – not that it ever really was for me – but at least I had my own version of normal before. Now everything was...there wasn't even a word for it. It just seemed like all the bad parts of a fairytale had vomited on my life. There were vampires and werewolves and shape shifters – and fairies. Fuck, I was a fairy myself. I went from the innocent telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse to the part-fairy, dirty-mouthed, Bill Compton fucking, Eric Northman kissing, light-out-of-fingers shooting, vampire staking, and intoxicatingly blooded telepathic maybe still a waitress if my shape shifting boss will still have me Sookie Stackhouse. The thought just made me start to laugh hysterically and I slid down the back of my door to the floor. My legs sprawled beneath me and my hands to my face to contain my uncontrollable fit. The laugh lasted merely seconds though, until I threw myself down on the ground in front of the door and began to sob with just as much vigor as my laugh had consumed me with. I could barely breathe, but still managed to let out a scream that had been sitting with me for so long. I screamed and sobbed for the next several minutes until I had literally exhausted myself, even with the amount of Bill's blood I had in my system. I hoped that he had heard me. I hoped that they both heard me. I knew that they could feel me through my damn blood bonds with them. But I hoped that they could actually hear me – and I hoped it tore them apart. With one final sob, I sprawled my body on the cold floor and closed my eyes.

I was pulled out of the darkness after only a few moments by a sudden sound. My phone, which had been on the coffee table, was ringing. I almost left it to drift back into my numb sleep when I realized that it was Tara's ringtone. I pulled myself up slowly. If there were ever a time when I needed my best friend, it was now. I really didn't want to be alone – couldn't actually bear it. I reached my phone just as the ringing stopped. I sighed and sat down in my Grandmother's chair and put my head in my hands. "Sookie, don't be silly," I could almost hear her say, "Call Tara back, you need each other now". I turned the sides of my mouth up into the weakest possible smile as I thought of her. My God, if she could see me now. I shook the thought from my head and flipped open my phone to call Tara and ask her to come home. Just then, however, the voicemail notification beeped, so I dialed – maybe Tara was on her way home now anyway.

Apparently I had several new messages, as the tinny female voice reported to me after I dialed in my code. The first few were from Jason – wondering where I was. Damn it. I had forgotten to tell him I was ok. I would have to call him after this. I could almost smile thinking of how he would react to defend his sister. He would…

I stopped upon hearing the next message. It was Jason, from this afternoon, sounding very unlike himself. "Sook," he started, "I hope that you're ok. I'm going to be away for a while, so you probably won't be able to get a hold of me. I know that you can take care of yourself better than anyone. There is something I gotta do. Trust me Sook. Love ya."

I was about to replay it when I heard Tara's voice on the final message. It was calm and cool, which scared me more than anything I had yet heard. "Sook, you're probably with Bill or something. Sorry I couldn't reach you. I just wanted to tell you that I'm not going to be coming home as soon as I said I would...actually, I don't know when I'll be home again at all. I'm sorry to throw this on you in a damn cell phone message, but I know that you have your own shit to deal with and I didn't want to fuck you up with my own. I need to get out, Sook. Don't worry about me, I'll be ok. I love you the most."

I sat with my mouth agape for a few seconds before frantically dialing Jason. His phone went straight to voicemail. I tried Tara and got the same. I kept dialing them over and over, hoping in vain to get a different result, feeling madness creep over me with every passing second. I finally gave up and threw my phone across the room.

At this point I was literally crawling out of my skin. I wanted to rip off my clothes and run out into the night screaming. Maybe Andy Bellfleur would get a call about the commotion and have to come and arrest me. They could throw me into a mental institution and medicate me out of my mind. Maybe I could scream 'Debbie Pelt' into the trees, hoping that she was waiting in the woods. Certainly she could rip my throat out and make this all go away. I could go offer myself to some vampire who could drain me dry. At least that would be enjoyable for someone.

I took a deep breath and sunk back into the well lived-in chair. No. I was not going to give up on account of Bill Compton or anyone else. I had fought like hell to survive and I wasn't going to stop now. I couldn't help the great loneliness that washed over me though; tonight's losses had been almost too much to bear.

I looked up at the mantel and saw the one person who would have known just what to say – what to do for me at that moment. I allowed one final tear to roll down my cheek before I got up and sprinted out the door and ran barefoot toward her.