A/N: In response to Pippin's request/challenge thing for a Urayoru kid fic in which they hate each other.
Tons of fun.
Playlist: All at Once by the Fray
Inked
Meet Shihoin Yoruichi and Urahara Kisuke.
"I hate you."
"Love you too."
"Anyone ever told you not to fraternize with the enemy?"
"Anyone ever told you to smile at your enemies it confuses them?"
"Who says that?"
"My bad, I meant keep your friend close and your enemies closer."
Yoruichi and Kisuke are betrothed.
"This is your entire fault."
"I don't believe in pointing fingers."
They hate each other….and they're stuck together in detention.
"Now now, Yoru-chan, Kisuke. Why can't we all just get along?"
Along with Kurosaki Isshin. Perhaps the most annoying boy on the planet.
"Because you're ugly."
"Now that's just mean."
Besides his best friend Urahara Kisuke.
"I'd just like to know what I did wrong."
"YOU STARTED IT!"
This is how it happened.
X x X
It was a beautiful sunny day on the campus of the Shinigami academy where prospective death gods studied. The weather was warm but not sweltering, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the teachers lounge got a new coffee maker. Yes, everything was well.
Until class actually started and the two asskissteers showed up to annoy the Shihoin princess thus disrupting the class.
But that didn't happen. It was just what the substitute teacher from the day before had to suffer through the day before thus he's hallucinating.
In reality Kurosaki Isshin and Urahara Kisuke did nothing of the sort. Which made Yoruichi far more paranoid than any other day.
So halfway through the class the substitute stopped twitching and hallucinating, assured that by some higher power no mayhem would take place that day.
Then it happened. Urahara turned in his seat in front of the purple haired girl and grinned toothily. "Can I-"
"NO! YOU MAY NOT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR IDIOCY YOU FUCKING MORON. I AM DONE. FINITO. FINISHED. THROUGH! BACK THE HELL OFF." She leapt from her seat, over her own desk, wrapped her fingers around her betrothed's neck and started banging his head against the floor.
"Yoruichi!!!! Get the hell off me!!!!!!"
"Yoru-chan!" Isshin exclaimed scandalized, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her waist, trying to yank her screaming form off his poor friend. He finally separated them.
He pushed Kisuke back with one arm so he wouldn't attack the princess and waved a fountain pen in her face, "Calm down Princess! Please Yoru-chan you're overreacting!"
She gripped the pen in her hand, holding it in place. "I am not. That bastard is pure evil." She held the pen so tight that the pen exploded suddenly in her face. Covering her with navy blue ink.
There was nothing left but to laugh.
X x X
"Told you it was your fault."
"It wasn't! If you hadn't turned around and antagonized me-"
"I was asking for a pen!"
Bottom line: Meet Shihoin Yoruichi and Urahara Kisuke.
They're both clinically and criminally insane.
"Aw, I think you guys make such a cute couple."
…and Isshin is on their hitlist.