Give Me Love Like Him, a homestuck fanfic

(I wrote this while listening to this version of Give Me Love )

Give me love like him

I remember when you first told me. You'd found this boy you really liked named Jake. I had been in shock, but I told you that I was happy you finally liked someone. And I was happy you finally liked someone. I was just-

Upset that it wasn't me.

About a year later and you told me you guys were finally dating and you couldn't be happier that he'd agreed to be in a relationship. I guessed there would be no more awesome sleepovers with stupid video games and horror movies between us anymore. And I wasn't wrong.

'Cause lately I've been waking up alone.

It's been a few months now. You guys barely leave each other's side. Remember when we'd lay awake until 3 in the morning taking about the stupidest things? I remember. That one time we talked about how dumb it would be if freckles had- no. I-

I don't wanna remember that right now. Too good of a memory.

Paint scattered tear drops on my shirt,

You came to me yesterday night. I opened my door and you practically broke down to me like a kid who just fell off the monkey bars, tears soaking the shoulder of my shirt. I was baffled because I've never seen you like that before. It made me scared that something bad had happened. When you finally collected yourself enough to speak, you told me what was wrong; confided in me like we were in middle school again.

You were scared he didn't love you as much as you loved him.

I told you I would let them go.

Good, now you know what I feel like. But I can't tell you how much I wanted to go over to that boy's house and tell him not to fuck up what he had because he had it good. But instead, I just let you cry on my couch in silence until you managed to calm down and practically begged me not to talk to him about this and that you would fix it and be okay.

And I told you that I would keep this between us.

But damn I wanted to spilled everything out to you and tell you that I could treat you better. I could show you just as much love as you show him. I could make it clear. You wouldn't doubt it with me. But there's no way that I'd let you know that.

And that I'll fight my corner

And now I'm sitting in the corner of my room and I've given this all some thought about what I need to do.

Maybe tonight I'll call ya

I'm going to call you.

After my blood turns into alcohol

But I've had a few drinks today.

Oh, I just wanna hold ya

God I want to see you right now.

Give a little time to me

I pick up my phone and shuffled through my contact numbers until I find your name in my phone. It's almost midnight but I know you're awake. You never really used to sleep well. I hit call and put the phone to my ear, listening to the ringing. It only rings twice before you pick up.

"Yeah Ro-Lal? Whatcha need, it's real late."

We'll burn this out

"Heeeey Dirky..~ I wanted to see if you were busy tonight." I manage to sound at least somewhat sober. And you buys it.

"I'm not busy, just doing some programming on a lil' bot for my robotics class. Why, ya need somethin'?"

Yeah, your love.

"Can we hang out..? Like we used to? At least for tonight, I kinda miss it."

You're silent for a minute. Then, you speak. "Yeah. Lemme shower and pack and I'll be over in about an hour, alright?"

We'll play hide and seek

Oh thank god. We'll have a night like we used to. We'll play stupid video games and laugh at the cut scenes. We'll play board games and get mad when one of use keeps winning or we can't figure out the mystery. We can watch movies again; Disney, horror, your weird anime type ones, whatever you want. We can drink a bit. We can make cute tree ornaments since my Christmas tree is up and it's almost that time.

To turn this around

And maybe we can lie awake all night and talk about what's bothering us again. We can talk about school problems, money problems. You can-

You can tell me what's been going on between you and Jake. And I can feel my heart breaking.

…It'll be great.

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

And maybe, just maybe, after that I'll be drunk enough and feel devastated enough to let my filter down and I can pour out my feelings and thoughts and emotions to you about all of this.

About me.

About you.

About us.

My My, My My My, Give me love

Then, maybe you'll realize just how stupid you've been and you'll apologize for hurting me so bad.

My my, my my my, give me love

And you'll call up your boyfriend and tell him that you've realized that you don't actually love him and that you wanna be with me instead.

Give me love like never before.

But I know that won't be what happens. I just hope you can love me more than like a sister.

'Cause lately I've been craving more.

I've found myself dreaming about what we'd be like more recently. Our first date where we could go see a play because either we'll love it or we'll make fun of it. Our fifth date where we could go out to get coffee and walk down a strip mall. How we would cuddle in bed after long days of school or work, depending on if it's after we get out of high school or not.

It's been a while but I still feel the same.

I thought that I could get over you being with him, that I'd be able to move on and find someone else. But even after all this time, it still hurts to see you holding his hand. To see you kissing his cheek. To see you leaving school with him. To see your snapchats of your dates with him.

Maybe I should let you go.

Should I even put myself through this anymore..? I know you're just going to keep coming to me with your problems over the relationship. And I'll just keep getting hurt. I'll want to help and be the end of your pain. I'll want to take you in my arms and never let you go back to that boy.

You know I'll fight my corner

I finally look at my phone again to see what time it is. It's.. It's been way over an hour. I hadn't realized I'd also been drinking more during this time. I guess I got too lost in my thoughts. It's almost 2, where are you?

Maybe tonight I'll call ya,

You better not have gone to his house instead. Or maybe you were there to begin with and you lied to me and instead Jake woke up and now you're not going to leave your precious little adventurer. I should call you again.

After my blood is drowning in alcohol.

I down another bottle of cheap beer then pick up my phone.

Oh I just wanna hold ya

You told me you'd be spending tonight with me.

Give a little time to me

Just before I call, there's a knock at my door.

Well burn this out

Oh thank god. You did still come.

Well play hide and seek

I open the door and you're standing there, stupid shades and in PJs. I'm so relieved to see you.

To turn this around

I invite you in and you place your bag near the door like you used to.

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

But something's different.

My my, my my my, give me love,

You smell like him now.

Give a little time to me,

We both sit down and I ask what you wanna do. You smirk lightly and say that you want to tell me how things went over when you told Jake how you felt.

I give you a small fake smile.

Well burn this out

But you can tell that I'm not as enthused as you. And I'm sure you can smell the alcohol now.

Well play hide and seek

So much for hiding the fact that I am drunk as all get out.

To turn this around

"Rox, everything okay? You ain't picked up a bottle in a while, why the change?"

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

Oh, you know. Nothing much. Just the fact that you've started dating some boy who probably doesn't love you a fraction as much as what I do and always have.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just thought that it'd make for funnier commentary on the video games."

You don't buy it this time.

My my, my my my, give me love,

"Roxy, this ain't like you."

My my, my my my, give me love

"I know it's not."

My my, my my my, give me love

"So what's eatin' at ya? I can tell you about Jake and I later"

My my, my my my, give me love.

That. That is what's eating at me Dirk Strider.

Oh my my, Oh my my, Oh my my, give me love.

"What problem? I don't have a problem."

It should be MY hand you're holding.

Oh my my, Oh my my, Oh my my, give me love.

It should be MY cheek you're kissing.

"I can tell somethin's up with you Rox. I've known ya most-a my life."

Oh my my, Oh my my, Oh my my, give me love.

It should be ME you're leaving school with.

"Yeah, well maybe you don't know me as well as you think."

Oh my my, Oh my my, Oh my my, give me love.

It should be ME in those snapchats.

"Roxy, you know damn sure we know each other like the back of our hands."

Oh my my, Oh my my, Oh my my, give me love.

Oh my god can you be any more dense?

"No. We don't. Not anymore at least."

Oh my my, Oh my my, Oh my my, give me love.

"What's that supposed ta mean?"

It means exactly that.

Love me.

I stand now. "Do you know how much it hurts?" I yell.

Love me

"What do ya mean?"

Love,

You. With him.

Gimme love.

"You and Jake. That's what hurts."

Give me love.

"Ya mean how he and I were fightin'? Well, we're better now. That's what I was gonna tell ya earlier."

Love me,

Great. That's absolutely fucking GREAT.

Love me.

You guys were supposed to not make up.

No.

You were supposed to break up.

Give me love.

You were supposed to come to me and finally realize.

Give me love.

I've been here the whole time.

Love.

"Well isn't that just fucking great? I'm so glad you guys are soooooo fucking hunky-dory. Why don't you just go back to him for tonight since you guys are doing so great?"

Love.

"Roxy I promised you we'd hang out. What's gotten inta you?"

Give me love

"I fucking love you, that's what!"