Another one for the FR Kinkmeme, and the very first request! . This one was a request for Jarlaxle's many, many piercings getting in the way.
It had been three weeks.
Three weeks of constant, unending frustration. If it wasn't orcs, it was goblins. If it wasn't either of the two, it was sheer exhaustion. Of course this route was known to be dangerous, but they had both decided that it was worth it in order to reach the southlands before the snows closed them in the frozen north during winter. Neither of them was fond of cold weather, and while the hunting was good in the north they always left it for warmer climes when the trees were turning. Unfortunately, they seemed to have been caught in some sort of bizarre mass migration of anything and everything unpleasant.
Enteri was enjoying himself; killing things was always fun, but he could tell Jarlaxle was silently suffering. He was being much more forward than he usually was, even for Jarlaxle; stroking Enteri's arm, sitting really close, hugging him around the waist, rubbing the palms of his hands on the inside of his thighs. It was like he was a she-cat in heat and it was a bit…distracting. Enteri sighed in relief when they came in sight of the first town that was large enough to actually have an inn. Maybe now they both could get a little relief and Jarlaxle would stop pawing him like a lecher.
By now, he should have known that anything that involved Jarlaxle was never that simple.
They hadn't even got as far as the bed. As soon as their packs were dropped on the floor, Enteri was blindly fumbling for a wall, a chair, anything for support with Jarlaxle's legs wound around his waist and sharp white teeth nipping at his jaw. With a heavy thunk his back hit the wall and then it was all hands and licks and delicious friction…
His hands ran up to Jarlaxle's temples and roughly forced him away from licking his collarbone so they could kiss; tongues dancing. Now this was his favorite; Jarlaxle was good at many things, but he was an excellent kisser. He hummed and moaned happily, moving his hands so he could rub at his back-
"Mrphh!" Jarlaxle was pulling away? He leaned forward so he could keep-wait, his finger was caught on something. He yanked, trying to free it.
"MMRPH! STOP THAT!" Jarlaxle pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.
"What?" He snarled, exasperated. He'd all but been humping his leg for three weeks and he wanted to stop now?
"Stop pulling on my earrings! I know you are not fond of them, but I'd rather not have you tear them out!"
"I'm not pulling at them." He snarled.
"Yes. You are."
They glared at each other for a moment, then Enteri started to laugh.
"What's so funny?" The mood was being ruined, fast. Goddamned interruptions; didn't they have enough of them for these last weeks?
"My finger-" He gasped. "Its stuck in your earring."
"Well, then get it out." He snapped impatiently.
He tried; he really did. Jarlaxle grimaced in pain as his ear kept getting yanked to the side, Enteri laughing under his breath, until he grabbed Enteri's hand and forced him to stop.
"Oh for the love of Lolth let me. Stop it." He glared at Enteri. "And stop laughing."
To his credit he did stop laughing, but that smug grin was almost as annoying.
"For once, your love for jewelry is your Achilles heel, like I've always said it would be. Can I say 'I told you so'?"
"NO."
Finally, he was able to unhook the earring and yank it off his friend's finger. He tossed it carelessly behind his back.
"Wouldn't you rather put it-"
"I'll find it later." He snarled, and shut up the assassin with a hungry kiss.
They never did find the earring.