Contingencies

Summary: There are certain things in life which a person can't plan for, doesn't expect. Written for prompt "Kate found out she was pregnant after 8x02"

The dripping faucet was the only sound she could hear in the bathroom. Perfectly isolated from the rest of the world in this tiny hotel room. In here the world seemed distant. The blaring of horns, the ambient noise of traffic that after a lifetime in New York she barely noticed anymore, was locked out. She tightened the knob on the faucet and watched the last stubborn drop crash against the porcelain of the sink.

She picked the package up from the sink. A square, a part of her life, something she reached for on the shelf without thinking. Tampons. The other day she felt the twinges low in her stomach, the heaviness of her breasts, and remembered that she was due for her period that day. Cramps she usually associated with start of her period resulted in nothing. Every time she went to the bathroom she expected there to be blood on the paper, but there was nothing.

"Come on," she said to herself, pressing a palm against her forehead to settle her nerves that tapped and swelled in her chest. Her last period was when they were still in the Hamptons, four weeks ago. She remembered having to cut their trip to the beach short, and the unusually bad cramps that Castle alleviated with a thorough backmassage. But with everything that had happened it wouldn't be strange if it was a few days late, yet the only time it had been late was after the shooting, when her body seemed to hang in limbo of everything.

The clock was already rushing her, if she wanted to be on time then she would have to leave now. At the precinct people were wondering, following her with probing eyes. Detectives trying to figure out why she wasn't with her husband anymore. Rumors spread, and her first full day as Captain at the precinct people had figured out within hours. No one asked, barely even Lanie.

The whole day she caught herself trying to feel her body. Did she feel pregnant? No, she didn't. She didn't feel more tired than usual, didn't feel nauseated, and she wasn't running to the bathroom more often. At least not because her bladder made her, the frequent visits were to be proven wrong. It felt like it would start any minute, her fear being for nothing.

What was the most heart wrenching was that if this had happened this summer then she would have been excited. Scared, but still excited to have a child with Castle. It wasn't planned, all talks of children had been of the future. She hadn't felt ready, and now she understood why. This was lying underneath everything, threatening to blow up in their faces. How different would have everything been had this been just a month earlier?

After a whole day at the precinct, staying until most people had cleared out, she found herself sitting in her car on the curb outside of a convenience store. The illuminated blue and red sign in the window informed her that it was open 24/7.

"You're being ridiculous," she said, clutching the steering wheel. She didn't know if she meant that she was ridiculous for thinking she was pregnant, or for not going in there and buying a test. She shook her head and grabbed her purse from the passenger seat, trying not to think of it as Castle's seat.

Inside the store was small, shelves lined up with only the bare necessities and snacks. For a moment she thought that they wouldn't have what she needed, anyway, and almost felt relief. One more day in limbo would mean one more day she didn't have to know. It was a Schrödinger's cat situation, only that even if she didn't take a test she would find out anyway, sooner or later. Then she saw the sparse pile of tests next to tampons that seemed to taunt her. There was only one brand, no choice between one or the other. No need to look on the backs of them to determinate which was the best. One choice, no second guessing.

Behind the counter was a man who didn't even register what item he rung up.

"Eleven dollars and fifty cents please," he said, punching a few numbers on the machine. She dug out the exact change out of her wallet, accepting the thick plastic bag the test was packaged in.

"Thank you," she mumbled, darting out of the store and back to her car.

Four am. That was how long she managed to stave the nagging feeling off. Tossing and turning in bed for hours had left her with a sheen of sweat coating her skin, and parched. She sipped water straight from tap, the relief short-lived when faced with the test on the counter.

"Okay." With trembling fingers she opened the box up, tearing off the plastic and inspecting the stick. To be sure she was doing it right she throughly read the information slip that came with it. It seemed simple enough.

She hadn't even had time to pull her pajama bottoms up when the test showed two darkening pink lines. There was no question about it. She was pregnant. Her hand rested low on her stomach, as if trying to feel the baby growing inside of her. Half of her genes and half of his creating a whole new unique person which was growing in her womb.

This changed things. This changed everything. A shudder ran through her, and she looked around the bathroom. She wasn't meant to be here now, she wasn't meant to be doing this. Not with their child inside of her. This was something she couldn't distance herself from, she would be carrying this child inside of her for nine months. It wasn't a choice between their life or just hers.

She gripped the test in a fist, and rushed out of the bathroom. She hadn't brought much, hadn't had the time, but it meant it didn't take long to pack it up.

Outside his door, their door, she didn't know what to do. Still in pajamas, clutching her purse and bag close to her in a tight white grip, she held one hand over the door knob, wanting to open the door and step right back into the life she left.

It wouldn't be that easy.

Instead she knocked. Two firm eager knocks, and she hoped he was up already. It was 6am, she should be getting ready to go to the precinct now. When the door opened and it was his face she saw she wanted to leap into his arms like she had been longing to since she left almost two weeks ago.

"Castle," she breathed.

"Kate?" He was hopeful and guarded all at the same time, skeptical that she was here to return. The undertone of hurt pierced her heart, and she knew it would be on her to mend him.

"I just… I just found out that I'm…" Tears brimmed her eyes, and she could barely find the voice to say it. "I'm pregnant Rick."

"You're…" He released his hold on the door, eyes darting over her face, over her body, brows furrowing in confusion, and mouth twitching in a hesitant smile. Not ready quite yet to leap over the treshold and pull her inside.

"I want to come home." She choked on her words, falling forward into him. "I'm sorry Rick. I want to be with you, I want to be with our family."

A/N IMPORTANT: I want no reviews about bashing Kate, Rick, or the current storyline. You don't have to like my story, you don't have to like where Castle is going now, but you do have a choice in whether or not to drag other people down in your misery. I have enough going on in my own life and I do not need or want to hear your rants in my reviews about how much this or that sucks about Castle right now. My tip is to get a blog and write it there, and stop ruining it for writers. Many of us don't want to publish stories in the current climate.

So think before you review. I love to hear what you think about my stories, of course, but what happens on the show is outside my ability to influence. There are plenty of people on tumblr, imdb, twitter, etc. to talk to about the show. The review section is not the place for it unless specifically asked for.