Sick-atxxheart's Suicide Challenge
Ron and Hermione
Prompts as listed
1) How am I supposed to do this?
2) What is the point? When the world is shrouded in shadows, all that remains is ashes.
3) What do I have to live for? What is left for me now?
4) She/He left me with nothing. I am nothing, now.
5) She/He had so much to live for....
6) You're better off without me.
7) I'm sorry, it has to be this way.
8) I love you, but sometimes love isn't enough.
9) I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in a pool of hopelessness... and I fear I'll never be able to get out.
10) I lose myself, and that scares me.
11) I've already asked it of you too many times-I'm beyond help or healing now. I see it, and so do you.
12) Don't even bother. I've already lost this battle.
13) I'll be waiting for you.
14) Just because I'm not strong enough doesn't mean you can't handle it.
15) Please don't go- no- please tell me it's not too late-
16) It was too much for you. But what if life without you is too much for me?
17) Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if he/she were still here.
18) If you can't live for yourself... could you live for me?
19) Please don't go! I love/need you!
Prompts used
1-19
Reality and A Dream
Italics are memories. I hope you like this.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story.
"Ron! Ron! Where are you?!" Harry and Ron had been fighting the war against Lord Voldemort for the past fourteen years and tonight Harry ended it.
Harry and Ron had been at home with their wives when they got a call in the fireplace from Minister Shacklebolt, telling them that the death eaters and Voldemort where in Surrey attacking the small village outside of it.
Ron and Harry got up immediately and went to their wives gave them each a kiss on the forehead before turning on the spot and apperating. Hermione and Ginny were used to this, they stayed behind most times but this time was different, tonight Harry was going to finally defeat the Dark lord once and for all. Harry and Ron's determination was fueled by the ever growing bump on Ginny's stomach and the small black haired boy lying in the bed upstairs.
"Ron! Oh my god Ron!" Harry found his best friend in an pile of rubble and bits of wall inside of the house they had been fighting outside of. Harry walked up to his best friend throwing bits of stone from Ron's chest, Harry pulled his friend onto his lap stroking the hair from his eyes.
There was blood dripping from a cut on his head, a coldness to his hands, no color in his lips.
Ron was gone before Harry got there, he was gone just like all the others.
Harry ran his fingers through Ron's hair, letting his tears fall from his cheeks, allowing them to mingle into Ron's hair. There was a slight breeze in the air bringing with it the smell of blood, a smell that Harry has become too familiar with.
"Voldemort Defeated," "The Chose One has Saved us!," "The days of living in fear...Over." Those were the headlines in the paper the next morning while the Weasleys mourned the death of another member of their family.
Fred had died seven years ago in the Battle for Hogwarts and George died exactly a year later, committing suicide on his brother's grave.
Harry scanned the Daily Prophet looking for news about Ron only becoming angry when he found the small article for him.
"Ronald Bilius Weasley, 25, Best friend of Harry Potter died yesterday in the battle of Surrey. Ronald Weasley is survived by his wife Hermione Weasley, his parents Molly and Arthur Weasley. His siblings William "Bill" Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Percy Weasley, and Ginny Weasley. He is preceded in death by his brothers Fred and George Weasley. The services will be held," Harry crumpled the paper before throwing it into the fire.
He could not take it.
Ron was gone and no one cared. He looked around the room, looking at his family. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were on the loveseat holding onto each other. Bill holding onto Fleur, Percy and Audrey huddled on the couch by the stairs and Ginny holding James rocking his sleeping form as he slept, a tear falling occasionally on his forehead Charlie coming to Ginny's side brushing a few tears from her eyes before reaching down taking James from her and taking him to the nursery.
Hermione was in a chair by the window, staring out into the snow.
Tears falling slowly down her cheeks, her eyes stared but they looked as if they were unseeing.
When Harry told her last night she was in complete shock, agony filled her.
Hermione backed away from Harry and Ginny as if she was scared of them she screamed and cried she threw everything in sight.
Ginny grabbed James and took him to her mother's she gave them the grave news and Charlie came back with her to her flat. Hermione was in hysterics when he had got there.
Hermione had Harry pinned against the wall, kicking him and hitting him.
"Don't lie to me Harry! Where is Ron?!" She was screaming at him Charlie ran across the flat grabbing Hermione's hands pulling her away from Harry.
Charlie crossed her arms around her chest pulling her against his back holding onto her with everything he had.
"HERMIONE!!" Charlie screamed, "Hermione he's gone! He is gone Hermione!" He told her.
"NO! No he's not!" Hermione broke down in Charlie's arms.
Ginny went to her potions cabinet and took out some calming draught and gave it to Harry. Hermione was still trying to fight Charlie,she was thrashing and kicking and her fingers kept scratching at Charlies arms.
Harry could not help him, as soon as Harry got close to Hermione she kicked him straight in the jaw. Ginny was seven months pregnant so she could not help him so she did the only thing that she could do she went back to the Burrow and got Bill.
He came in seeing Charlie on the floor holding onto Hermione, she had been kicking him and now she had clamped her teeth down on Charlie's arm.
Bill ran over and took her feet in his hands, laying on top of her legs.
"Hermione stop! Hermione please!" Bill screamed.
Harry grabbed the Calming Draught and pulled her mouth open careful so she would not bite him, he poured the draught down her throat.
She had finally stopped thrashing and calmed down. Bill looked Charlie's scratches and the bite mark on his arm while Ginny took Hermione into the living room and sat her on the couch.
One look at the widow sitting on the couch broke everyone.
She was shaking and sobbing so hard she could no longer take a breath, yes the draught had calmed her but it did not make her emotionless. She had struggled and fought so hard she also had scratches and bruises all over her, Ginny tried to put an arm around her but Hermione would have none of it.
Hermione moved away form Ginny and turned to her glaring, not wanting to be touched. Hermione cried still, it grew more and more painful for them to watch her mourn for him. She was nothing without him, and everyone knew it.
Charlie stood next to her while Bill fused about tending to his wounds, Charlie just brushed him off.
"No Bill." Charlie came to her side, he knelt down next to her looking in her eyes wanting her to look at him. "I'm sorry it has to be this way Hermione." He whispered to her through his own mournful tears.
She looked at him, hate in her eyes,
"How am I supposed to do this Charlie? He left me with nothing, I am nothing now." Hermione whispered back, her words dripping with anguish.
She looked away from his eyes, the eyes that looked so much like Ron's, and curled her legs to her chest, laying down hiding her face in her knees, her sobs sounding as if they were coming from a child.
Hermione sat staring at the snow that day never moving, never adverting her eyes from the falling crystals. Harry made her tea ever few hours, pouring calming draught in every cup keeping her numb.
She would refuse most times, Molly would come to her side and talk to her, she would force her to look into her eyes and Molly would choke down her own sorrow.
"Hermione my dear, please drink." she would repeat over and over smoothing her hair around her face. Hermione would allow a few tears to fall before swallowing the lump in her throat, she would shake her head refusing to drink form the cup in Harry's hand.
Hermione refused to leave her chair for the next three days, She would not eat or speak. She was no longer Hermione, she was just the shell of the human she left behind.
When it came time to attend the funeral Charlie and his mother had a debate he did not think it good for Hermione to attend when Molly thought it good for her, a chance to say goodbye.
In the end his mother won and Charlie picked Hermione out of the chair holding her to his chest to keep her from falling over. Ginny and Harry walked behind them, Ginny tried to be brave for Hermione but seeing her in the state she was in was just too much for her, it was not only hard to lose her brother but now she was losing the only sister she has ever had.
Yes it was true she had other sister in laws but Hermione was more to Ginny that a sister in law she was her best friend.
The funeral had been a blur to Hermione.
Men from the Aurors office spoke of Ron, of the great work he had done, the determination he had, the passion the loyalty he possessed. Classmates from Hogwarts spoke of his love for Hermione, the sense of trouble and adventure he had. Bill was chosen to speak on behalf of his family, he spoke of the Ron the real Ron, the one that rarely anyone had seen, the one who was afraid for his friends and family, the one that would sacrifice everything in his life to make them happy, give them everything they deserved.
He spoke of the Ron that was insecure and scared of not being good enough for Hermione or his family for that matter.
McGonagall was the last to speak. She told of the clumsy Ron, the one that would do his best he could in his studies but in the end would sacrifice his studies to help his friends, not always in their studies but in their trials and tribulations.
"He gave his all and he never gave up," She said, her tears overcame her.
She looked up at everyone and took a deep breath trying to continue,
"I have buried to many of my students. They all should have outlived me." She tried to go on but failed.
They moved to the cemetery to pray for Ron's soul and leave him to be buried.
Hermione cried, she was lost, she did not know why she was crying why everyone was talking like Ron was dead. She was in a trance, beside the tears that fell from her eyes she showed no emotion, nothing.
Anger, despair, confusion they all were gone from her.
She still had not spoken and when people would come to her she would stare into space. As the family had begun to walk back to the car Charlie put an arm around Hermione's shoulders, steering her to the car that would take them home from the cemetery.
As they approached the car Hermione turned on her own for the first time in four days, as if her brain had kicked in.
She looked back at the casket sitting on top of a white stone.
Charlie watched as a tear rolled off of her cheek. She left his arm and down the isle leading to her back to Ron.
Her black dress swaying with the dead branches on the trees, snow dancing around her feet and falling softly onto her curls, Charlie moved to go after her but Bill stopped him.
"Let her go Charlie, she needs to say goodbye," he whispered.
Hermione stood and stared at the casket for several long moments, the lump in her throat grew bigger but she swallowed it down she opened the casket, looking into the young boys face that lay sleeping inside.
A smile creeped to her face as her hand wandered to his face sweeping the hair from his eyes.
"Do remember when we became friends Ron? I mean we were always friends but when it was set in stone that no matter what Ron we would always be there for each other, always love each other. We were in third year and I had just gotten a letter from my parents saying that they were getting divorced so I ran outside crying and it was snowing. You came after me, and you took your coat off and put it around me, do you remember Ron?
Do you remember when you took me by the hand and helped me get off the ground? Do you remember what we did next? You hugged me and told me everything would be ok and you were never leaving, and than we danced in the snow. Well we stood in place and we held me to you and we swayed in the wind, I don't know if you would call it dancing but I do." Hermione chuckled at the memory.
"All I remember Ron was I felt so safe in your arms, so complete. I felt so lost Ron, not just because my parents were getting divorced but because I was the girl who knew it all, the teachers pet. I didn't think I would ever belong in this world, but when you held me Ron I was found, I was alive. I love you Ron." She cried, still playing with the hair along his face, her thumb caressed his cheek wiping at the snow that fell on him.
"Ron! Please don't go! Don't leave me, it can't be too late! Don't leave me here! I am so lost without you Ron!" She screamed into the wind around her.
Charlie ran down the isle, she had fallen to the ground crying, screaming for Ron. Bill came behind Charlie, Charlie knelt down beside Hermione, he tried to pick her up but he broke down with her.
He loved Ron, as time went on they became closer and he loved him so much. He was lost his best friend and now it felt like he was losing his last connection to him.
Bill leaned down and put an arm around Charlie putting his forehead to his and whispering to him that he was going to be ok and he would see Ron again someday.
Bill leaned down and picked Hermione off the ground cradling her in his arms, Charlie stood with them standing behind them, sweeping the snow from her hair.
"I love you Ron! I love you! Please don't leave me here! Please don't go Ron! I need you!" She cried, trying to get out of Bills arms.
Back at the Burrow she drank some tea and sat in her chair once again numb to the world and all the pain that was in it.
Life went on without Ron, Mrs. Weasley went to the kitchen cooking away her sorrows while Arthur looked at his plug collection Fleur and Ginny stayed with the children finding solace in them.
Harry sat in a chair close to Hermione watching her stare out the window. "The Golden Trio" as Hermione had dubbed them, had an understanding, they shared each others pain and troubles. He also mourned his best friend but not like Hermione, he was afraid she would not make it without him.
Back in their seventh year when they were searching for the hourcruxs Ron had left them, he left Hermione and she almost lost her sanity with how much she needed him, with how lost she was without him. Harry knew deep down in his heart she would not ever be the same without him here, that she would forever more be the lost little girl she was than in seventh year.
The normal memorial or whatever it was that happened after the funeral, happened.
Harry took Hermione by the hand and took her into Mr. and Mrs. Weasleys room.
By the window looking out into front of the yard was a rocking chair. Harry guided her to the chair sitting her down.
"I will stay with you for a while ok?" Hermione sat down staring at the snow falling slowly she looked past the people coming in the door and went back to lazy summers spent under the trees watching Ron play Quidditch with Harry and Ginny.
A small smile appeared on Hermione's face at the memory, after a spectacular save by Ron he flew around whooping and hollering before swooping down and giving Hermione a kiss before flying off again.
Her eyes closed while keeping her smile, she rocked back and forth a little faster and Harry just watched her wondering what it was she was thinking of to make her smile like that.
Twenty minutes went by and Ginny came knocking on the door, she was going to sit with her while Harry went out to talk to the people there to pay their respects to Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world but most importantly Ronald Weasley's best friend.
Ginny put her hand on Harry's shoulder telling him silently that she would watch her, make sure she would be ok.
Harry looked up at her, he took her hand and kissed it still staring at Hermione.
"Stay with her Ginny. I am getting worried about her." he stood up walking to Hermione, bending down giving her a kiss on the cheek before whispering in her ear "I love you" and turning to the door, looking at the two woman that were his life, wiped a tear from his lashes and than walked out the door.
The two woman sat watching the snow fall, each remembering a different memory when hard times were forgotten and love took resident in their lives.
The moments ticked by slowly, Hermione rocked in the chair humming, Ginny recognized it as a lullaby that she used to sing to James right after he was born.
Ginny sat back and watched her smile, humming a happy lullaby remembering holding James in her arms watching him fall asleep.
Ginny felt a tear fall down her cheek she had not even realized that she had been crying, when she reached up to wipe it away Hermione looked at her.
The smile she wore was gone, confusion apparent in her eyes.
"Ginny? Where is Fred? I haven't seen him today." Hermione looked so lost, and the mention of her brother that had been gone for more than seven years made her gasp.
"Hermione... Fred died in the Battle for Hogwarts seven years ago." Hermione looked more confused, Ginny didn't know if she was more confused than Hermione or if Hermione was more confused than her.
"No Ginny I just saw him last night when Ron and I went to bed. You were there don't you remember?" Ginny stood up and walked to the door.
"I will be right back Hermione, don't move." To Ginny's surprise her father was sitting outside the door, guarding it form anyone entering it.
"Dad...something is wrong with Hermione. She thinks Fred was here last night when her and Ron went to sleep. I don't know what's going on. Dad I'm scared." Arthur went into his room and went to Hermione kneeling down resting his hands on hers, she looked at him smiling.
"Mr. Weasley it's good to see you. Your smile just brightens my day." Hermione smiled, Arthur gave her a weak smile before continuing.
"Hermione dear, what is the last thing you remember?" Hermione smiled at him.
"Well Ron and I woke up this morning and said we were going to fight Voldemort at Hogwarts, we fought and we lost Tonks and Lupin. Don't you remember Mr. Weasley?" she gave him a confused look.
"Hermione stay here my dear." Arthur put his hand on the small of Ginny's back and guided her to the door.
"Go tell Bill and Fleur to thank the guests and clear the house out, get Charlie to Floo the doctor than I need you to make some tea for Hermione ok dear? Right now, go." Arthur whispered to his daughter.
He opened the door for her and watched her leave, her long hair had gotten longer and flowed gracefully down her back she she strode past guests and relatives that had not seen since George's funeral six years ago.
Harry watched Ginny leave the room, panic carved on her face, tears falling form her eyes, he looked at her and looked at the door to the room Hermione was currently occupying before he decided that he needed to check on Hermione.
"Arthur what's happening?" Harry came in somewhat breathless, his heart racing.
"She seems to have gone back to the Battle for Hogwarts Harry. She does not remember the last seven years Harry." Hermione stood up form the rocking chair.
"Harry! Oh thank Merlin you are here will you kindly tell Mr. Weasley that Fred and George and Ron are alive. That they are just at Hogwarts he seems to think that I am twenty five years old and Ron died in a battle in Surrey a few nights ago. Harry tell him he is wrong." Harry looked form Arthur to Hermione, he did not know what to do but thought it best to keep her as calm as possible till he figured out what to do.
"Hermione... Ron died... in the battle for Hogwarts so did Fred and George. I'm sorry. Mr. Weasley is just having a hard time accepting it." Hermione let her tears fall, and Arthur put a hand on Harry's arm.
"I have to keep her calm as possible Arthur." Harry whispered to him.
Ginny came in and gave Hermione a cup of tea, it calmed her down but she still insisted that she was seventeen and Ron had proposed last week.
A doctor came in sometime and looked her over. He came out of the room after giving her a dreamless sleep potion.
"She has experienced an extreme trauma. She is coping the best way she can, go along with the story that she has created, one day she will remember." He left the Weasleys and they agreed they would play along.
The next morning Ginny took the children and herself to stay with Mrs. Tonks.
They took the pictures from the past seven years out of the house and recreated the house as it looked seven years ago.
She knew that Ron was gone and Fred and George were gone. The doctor said that it might just be easier to deal with George's and Ron's deaths if they died at a time where she was happy and carefree, well as best as she could.
Hermione woke in the morning in Ginny's room, her heart was breaking waking up alone.
Ron was not by her giving her the warmth she craved, the kiss to wake her up, God how she needed that right now.
She laid there thinking of all the kisses he had given her in the mornings. She closed her eyes and imagined him lying there next to her, his arm around her waist, his smell on the pillow breathing him in, he sound of the small breath he would take before kissing her cheek than her eyes trying to wake her from her dreams.
She could feel him laying there, she could have sworn she could smell him and feel his breath on the back of her neck making the small hairs prickle as the sensation.
"Morning my love." She could hear him whispering into her ear, she could feel that softness of his lips against her skin.
She smiled and moaned with the contact.
"Morning Ronald." She rolled over to face him, but he had disappeared.
He had never been there, Hermione was a smart witch and she knew he was never there, but there was this small part of her heart that told her that he was never going to leave her side and he would be there every morning to wake her up and there every night when she would go to bed.
The tears and anger came on so sudden Hermione did not know how to react.
"Why Ron? Why did you leave me here. I can't do this without you here with me! Come back to me Ron!" She cried.
A sound of the door, made Hermione stop screaming but it never could stop the tears and hopelessness that she felt.
Charlie came in her room at the sound of her crying. He ran to her and lifted her up sitting her in his lap, cradling her back and forth, like he would calm James when he was crying.
Molly came in soon after with a cup of tea she helped Hermione drink it and watched it take effect.
"Charlie we can not keep giving her the draught. She will never learn to carry on." She whispered in his ear hoping Hermione would not hear her, but her hopes were unheard for Hermione had heard her.
"I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in a pool of hopelessness...and I fear I'll never be able to get out. I don't want to carry on." Hermione whispered to Molly, to Charlie, to Ron, to no one. Charlie rocked her more and Molly smoothed her hair before leaning down and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
Harry came in as Molly left.
He looked as worn as Hermione, bags under his eyes, his skin more pale than it had ever been, the skin on his bones hanging lifelessly.
"I will take her Charlie, Dad wants to talk to you." Charlie stood and laid Hermione back in her bed, tucking the covers around her tightly, with the snow falling faster outside the window and not having Ron there to lay with her, to keep her warm he knew she would need to have another blanket and Charlie told himself to remember another blanket when he came back.
Hermione worsened over the coarse of the week, it was becoming closer and closer to the day that Hermione and Ron held dear, Christmas day. A day of love, giving, peace, harmony, everything that Ron and Hermione fought for.
Hermione talked more and came down stairs twice and she had ate three full meals in one week. Her night mares continued and so did each morning, just as Hermione wanted Ron woke her up each morning, her imagination set her back more and more everyday.
"I'll be waiting for you, my love." Ron had told her that morning, two days before Christmas morning.
"I am coming soon Ron." She whispered back before she opened her eyes and he disappeared.
Hermione got out of bed and went to her closet, she took out a sweater that Mrs. Weasley made for Ron, one of his many Weasley sweaters and pulled it over her head, snuggling into its warmth and scent, she took a pair of maroon pajama pants out of the dresser by the door and walked down the stairs to the kitchen.
The trance she walk with everyday reminded Molly of a ghost in human form.
She never smiled, not the smile that they all knew, she smiled the best one she could come up with which was painful to look at and brought tears to Mrs. Weasley's eyes every time she would flash it.
Hermione played with her breakfast never once bringing the fork to her mouth.
Mr. Weasley watched Hermione sit and move her food around for an hour he could watch her anymore. Arthur had begged Hermione to eat, he cried,
"I will not sit and watch while you die!" His screams rang through the house.
She stared at her plate as he screamed, but when she looked up she stared into his eyes,
"What is the point? When the world is shrouded in shadows, all that remains is ashes." She stood up and walked past Arthur before walking outside into the falling snow.
"Did you know that no two snowflakes are the same Hermione?" She heard Ron's voice behind her, she turned to find herself face to face with the handsome man he had grown to be.
He held out a gloved hand showing her two different snowflakes he had caught.
"See Hermione? They are so beautiful, so different, so unique. Everyone usually passes them off, 'It's just snow there is nothing special about that. It's so cold I can't wait for it to melt.' No Hermione, snow is a beautiful excuse to remind everyone that just like these little snowflakes I have in my hand that each of us are beautiful and different but if we all work together we can make the most beautiful scene anyone has ever seen." Hermione had tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Oh Ron." she jumped on him and hugged him, kissing him full on the lips, his arms wrapped around her tightly lifting her higher in the air never taking his lips form hers and they spun slowly in a few circles before Ron put her down.
"You are beautiful Hermione, you are unique and that is the reason why I love you so much." he told her pushing her hair behind her ears leaving his hands on them to keep them warm. "I love you too Ron."
Hermione sat in the snow trying to catch a passing snowflake to remind her of the time she had with her Ron, but every time one landed on her hand it melted before she had the chance to see it's beautiful, unique design.
Charlie came outside with a coat for her. He came behind her sitting on the ground, he got on his knees her putting the coat around her shoulders. He put a hand on the small of her back,
"Shhh, Hermione everything is going to be ok. I promise." Hermione stiffened and than softened.
She did not turn around to look him in the eyes but sat staring at the snow,
"Ron?" she whispered into the gray sky.
"No Hermione it's Charlie. Why don't you come back inside it's getting cold?"
Christmas morning brought the worst tears that Hermione had ever shed. It felt as if she were laying naked in bed, no warmth coming from Ron this morning, he never came.
Her heart was in her throat blocking the sounds of her sobs, her eyes burned from opening them this early. She could smell breakfast being cooked downstairs, the smell only made her stomach jolt and become uneasy.
Hermione sat up in bed and felt her stomach, jolting more than ever, she jumped up from bed and ran to the bathroom leaning against the toilet for support, she purged.
Harry had found her in the bathroom, getting sick, pale and shivering.
Hermione heard him come in, looking up she looked into his eyes, watching the tears roll down his cheeks, slow at first but the longer he looked at the shell of what used to be Hermione the tears fell faster and faster.
Harry stumbled through his tears to the sink, wetting a cloth than copying Hermione he knelled on the floor, holding the cloth to the back of her neck.
She stared into his eyes, Harry thought for a moment that her eyes were boring a hole into his with how deep she was staring.
"It's going to be ok Hermione, really, I promise. I am never going to leave you." Hermione let a few more tears fall, a small hand raised to the side of his face brushing a tear left hanging on his eyelash, she smiled at him and it strangely comforted him.
"Harry... I know, but Don't bother I have already lost this battle, I can't do this without him Harry. Promise me Harry that you will be ok. Just because I am not strong enough doesn't mean you can't handle it. You have always been the strongest of us Harry." Harry stared at her he could not believe this, Hermione the strongest person he had ever known was telling him that she was giving up.
The warmth of her hand on his face left, leaving him cold and scared. He grabbed at her, pulling her into a hug, crushing her tiny body,
"No Hermione I will not let you give up, I wont."
The next week went by the slowest any week ever went in the Weasley house.
Molly and Arthur were doing better than expected, Harry thought maybe they were just in as much denial as Hermione.
Bill and Fleur decided to move here, closer home so they were gone to France for two days packing and moving.
Charlie stayed, he was the biggest help in Harry's eyes. He and Hermione had understood each other and she was his favorite sister in law by far.
Percy and Audrey had to leave to make the plan work, at the time of the Battle for Hogwarts the Weasleys and Percy were still fighting and Audrey and him were married only three years ago.
Ginny wrote Harry everyday asking about Hermione, he needed her so much, he did not know how he was going to do this without her. Harry climbed out of bed when he smelt breakfast being cooked, he walked the steps down to the kitchen the slowest he thought he ever had.
He really was not hungry this morning, he really did not want to get up this morning.
It had been three weeks without Ron today, and it was hitting Harry really hard.
His best friend, his first friend, the first person he had ever cared for, loved was gone...forever.
He would give anything to have him back.
There were times Harry thought he could hear him laughing, running down the stairs
"I'll race you Harry." running past him, leaving him laughing on the stairs.
Yesterday when Harry woke up he could have sworn the Ron was in his bed asleep, Harry stood up and walked to the bed pulling back the covers with a smile on his face, "Ron!" he whispered like he did every morning when they were kids.
Ron was not there, he would never be there again. Harry broke than.
Harry fell to the floor his hand resting on the pillow breathing in the scent that was Ron, his tears soaking the corner of blanket still in his hand.
"Ron how could you leave me? You are my best friend. Please come back. I need you, Hermione needs you. I miss you Ron. Please come back, please Ron. It was too much for you, but what if life without you is too much for me." Harry cried all day never leaving Ron's room.
He didn't even answer Ginny's letter that day.
He sat on floor next to Ron's bed crying needing the comfort of his friend.
At one point when he was crying that night he looked up to his cot, the cot that Ron always had ready for Harry, always.
Harry saw Ron sitting there plain as day,
"Harry you have to get up. You have to fight Harry, you are the only hope for the wizarding world. Harry... Hermione and I are going to be with you every step of the way. We will never leave, I believe in you Harry. Come on Harry you are the strongest person I have ever known. You have to be brave now and fight, fight for all of us Harry. Fight for Hermione and me, fight for Ginny, fight for our children we are going to have. I don't want any of our kids to know the world that Voldemort is creating, we have to stop him Harry. Fight Harry, Be strong and brave." Harry remembered Ron and him had this conversation back in fifth year, after Sirius was killed and Harry was about to give up
"I don't think I can Ron. I can't do this without you Ron." Harry stared at the cot, staring at the memory of Ron sitting there. "Yes you can Harry. I am right here with you, I always have, always will be Harry. Always remember that, Harry." Harry watched Ron, the memory of Ron disappear into the air.
"Ron! I need you!" he cried after him.
When Harry reached the bottom of the stairs the smell brought him out of his memories.
He turned the corner and opened the door to the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley was the only one in the kitchen, he back was to him at the stove cooking the breakfast he knew by the smell of it was his favorite.
He took a step closer to the woman, the sound of his footsteps made her turn to look at him.
His eyes red, brimming with fresh tears, matching her own eyes, her eyes reminded Harry so much of Ron, they were the ocean blue like his, this only powered the tears over the edge making room for more tears to take their place.
Molly took the three steps to him and closed the gap, bringing him into a hug, hold onto him, crying with him.
"I need him back Mum. I can't do this anymore, I loved him so much Mum. Hermione needs him. I am so angry at him for leaving us. Did he not know how much we needed him? It hurts so much Mum." he cried pulling her closer, his grip on her tightening as his sobs became too much.
Mrs. Weasley sat with Harry neither one very hungry, eating in small bites.
Harry watched the snow flurry outside the window. He was entranced by it, he only wished that Ron was here, on days like this they would play wizard's chess and as it always happened Harry would lose.
"Hermione hasn't ate anything in six days Harry." Molly whispered, Harry almost didn't hear it. "I think we are going to lose her." She continued.
"I wont let that happen Mum. I can't lose her too, none of us can." Harry stood up grabbing his plate, went to Molly giving her a kiss on her cheek and walked up the stairs to Hermione's room.
She was awake staring out the window, Harry pulled a chair to the side of her bed sitting it right in front of her view of the window forcing her to look at him.
"Hermione you have to eat." Hermione never looked up at him. He eyes staring blankly at his shirt.
"Hermione please! If you can't live for yourself could you at least live for me?" She blinked, that was all the response he could get form her.
They sat for the next hour Harry trying to get Hermione to eat, she finally turned around, unwilling to face him anymore. He sighed and sat back in his chair,
"What do I have to live for? What is left for me?" she whispered, crying silent tears. "Me Hermione, you have me. I love you Hermione." Hermione stayed staring at the wall.
"I love you too Harry but sometimes love is not enough. I can't do this without him, Harry. I can't live without him. He has always been my reason for staying in this world, my reason for fighting, my reason for staying alive. I lose myself in him Harry and he is not even here, and that scares me." they sat in silence till lunch was ready.
Hermione refused to go downstairs but Charlie would not have any of it.
He picked her up and to his surprise she wrapped her arms around his neck, too weak to fight. The family sat in silence at the dinner table, no one knew what to say.
Harry ate the best he could, Charlie watched Hermione from the corner of his eye, Mr. and Mrs Weasley ate the lunch trying to smile and show Hermione that everything would be ok, But Hermione kept her hands folded in her lap.
"Hermione dear, please eat. It's your favorite." Hermione looked up into Mrs. Weasley's eyes.
" Molly. I can't. I have asked it of you too many times. I am beyond help or healing now. I see it and so do you. Please accept it." Hermione stood up and walked to Molly giving her a hug and a kiss. She whispered "thank you" she looked at Mr. Weasley, tears coming form his eyes wetting his cheeks.
Hermione went to him and kissed him on the cheek telling him thank you before turning to Charlie and repeating herself, once she was done she turned to the door pressing her hand on it.
Hermione turned to look at the family sitting around the table, she gave them a smile, the one Hermione would give them when she wanted to comfort them.
For a second, just a glance, Harry saw the sparkle in her eye and the old Hermione return, but than she turned and went out the door.
Harry went to Hermione's room after he had finished his lunch, an hour after she had left for her room.
Harry laid his hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath, pushing the tears back, before turning the knob and entering the room.
The room was bright, the storm that played outside had blown away leaving flakes to fall slowly, dancing in the winter's breeze.
Harry looked to Hermione's bed, she laid snuggled deep in the warmth of the blankets. Harry watched her sleeping form for several minutes, she was beautiful in her sleep, but Harry had always know that.
He knew before he stroked her cheek, Harry knew Hermione was gone.
She was still warm, Harry leaned down and kissed her
"I love you Hermione. I wish you didn't have to go. I am going to miss you. I will be seeing you." on the table next to her bed was a letter for the family and a empty potion bottle.
Harry took the letter and sat down in his chair, staring at his friend.
"Dear family,
I am sorry I could not stay any longer. I am sorry that I let you down. I wish that things would have turned out differently than they did, but they didn't. I can't live without him, I can't live without my heart, Ron has it always. Please remember that I loved you all and I am sorry I was so much trouble for the past few weeks. You are better off with out me, I promise I would have been nothing but trouble for the rest of my life. I am going to be with Ron and Fred and George, please know that I am happy now. I love you and I will see you when you get here.
I will love you always,
Hermione Weasley"
Harry folded the letter and held it to his heart, his sobs trapped in his chest.
He looked at her, he knew than that he had been mourning for her the moment Ron died, she died with him that night.
Harry would always remember the look in her eye and the smile she shone for them in the kitchen, he would hold onto that image of her for the rest of his life.
The funeral was held on January second three days after she had died. Harry sat and thought about her, about what life would be like if she were still here. The funeral matched Ron's almost exactly, But Harry was the one to speak on behalf of the family.
"Hermione left us on her own free will, she is happy now, I hope. She will be missed and she will always be loved. I just wish I had told her how much she had to live for." Harry wiped at his tears he could not speak anymore, she looked at his beautiful wife holding a small girl.
She looked just like her parents she had Curly red hair and brown eyes like her mother's
"Your mother love's you Rose." Ginny whispered to the small baby only four months old.
Well there it is. I hope you enjoyed. if you cried let me know, just courious because I sure did.
Please Review.
Love Always
Maggie Ann