Disclaimer: Nintendo (as far as I am concerned) owns the characters as well as some of the settings, no copyright infringement intended.
Also this series will have strong language and suggestive content, so please only read if you are age 18+, Thanks! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
"3…2… Action!" The clapper board was pulled from in front of the camera. Bowser swiped Peach up from her standing point on the stage. Bowser let out a bellicose laugh as "Princess" Peach screamed out, in her classic fashion, "Marioooooooo!" Then Bowser stomped off into the distance, still clutching Peach by the waist. "Aaaand… cut!"
At that exact moment seemingly hundereds of koopas and goombas stomped into the set, brandishing drinks and warm towels, as well as other refreshments. Bowser dropped Peach down gently on her feet. "How was that Pea—err… Princess?" He asked twiddling his fingers. "You grip too hard!" Peach snapped. "And your breath smells like a dinosaurs!" Bowser frowned, closing his mouth. "Ugh, I need lemonade." Peach rolled her eyes before sashaying over to a goomba balancing a tray with lemonade on it's head.
Bowser sighed and slugged over to his chair, where Mario was sitting in his. "Is my breath really that bad?" He asked Mario, in a small voice. Mario rubbed the back of his neck. "Of course not, Peach is just a…" he trailed off scanning the room. "Female goomba." He whispered. Bowser was about to correct him, reminding him it was "Princess Peach" according to her, but Toad had wandered over. "Hey fellas!" He said in his rather annoying voice.
"Hey, Toad." Bowser and Mario said in unison. "I just wanted to remind you that the anniversary party is tonight." Toad said looking down at a clipboard he was carrying.
Mario groaned. Toad looked confused. "What?" He asked looking back up at Mario. "I have to kiss Peach at the anniversary. Because apparently every video game character and their maker believes we're still together. Even though I clearly explained on my Twitter that we were through, and had been through since 2006." He said massaging his temples. "Oh c'mon," Toad scoffed waving a hand at him. "It can't be that bad. She's a pretty lady. And she pays her bills on time, which I think is pretty damn respectable! I would be honored if I were you." Silence hung in the air. Then finally, "then why don't you kiss her Toad?" Mario asked squinting. "Oh? Who? Oh, me… oh no I couldn't possibly… she'd kill me." Toad said blank faced. More silence. "Welp see, ya at the party… Oh! And you're on in five, Mario." The small fungi waddled away into the crowd of stage hands. Mario groaned again and hopped of his chair with a grunt and put his signature hat on his head. "Let's a-go… or whatever…" He grumbled. "I'm getting too old for this shit."
"Don't even sweat it, babe." Rosalina said reassuringly, straightening Mario's collar. "It's just one kiss." Mario and Rosalina had been dating for almost three years now, and things were getting pretty serious. They shared a penthouse together in New Donk City. "Are you sure you aren't mad?" Mario asked biting his lip. "As long as it doesn't mean anything to you," she kissed his nose, "it won't mean anything to me." Mario smiled. All the chaos at the studio was almost forgotten when ever Rosalina kissed him. "Now let's go. Before we're late." She smiled warmly, grabbing her purse.
The place was filled with people from all different games and universes, from Sonic to Pokèmon. Mayor Pauline was singing her classic, Jump Up, Super Star. Mario clenched Rosalina's hand even tighter. "Geez, are you planning to break my fingers?" She said just loud enough that Mario could hear her. "Sorry." Mario said, releasing her hand. "All right, I'm gonna go get crunk before people start to realize I'm here." Rosalina said kissing Mario once more on his lips and then heading off in the direction of the bar.
Mario tried to breathe. The floor seemed to shake under him, from the thousands of feet dancing on it. The air smelt of sweat and alcohol. Mario made his way through the crowed to the VIP lounge. "Name?" Asked the guard. Mario squinted, was this guy kidding? "C'mon man, you know me… 'It's a-me, Mario!'" He mimicked.
The guy scanned the list. "There's no Mario on this list." The guard said unfazed. "What do you mean my name's not on the list?! My logo is on the front of the goddamn building!" Mario fumed, angry now. At that moment, Peach strolled up to the guard. "Let him in, he's with me." She said in her normal nagging tone. The guard started blushing. "Oh, oh yes! Of course miss—I mean Princess Peach!" He worshipped, unhooking the gate. Peach flashed a seductive smile that used to get Mario every time, before sashaying into the lounge.
Mario scowled at the guard before following. Mario was shocked to see many of the most popular game couples already going at it in the plush red seats, two being his brother Luigi and his girlfriend Daisy. Mario gagged and decided to keep his eyes forward. Finally the two came to the twin thrones in another room all the way in the back that Mario and Peach used to sit in, the king and queen of gaming.
Mario swallowed. Peach sat down in one of the plush thrones. She and him had had them specially made to be the most comfortable possible, and Mario yearned to sit in it again, but decided against sitting next to Peach and instead sat on the red carpet.
"So." Peach said after a while of silence. "You and Rosy-Rose-Rose… How's that going for you?" She asked, signaling for a drink with a snap. Mario could hear a hint of jealousy in her tone, and suppressed a smug grin. "Amazing." He said exaggerating just to piss her off. She scoffed as a goomba wandered in with a Sex on the Beach on it's head. "AmaZinG!" She mocked, before chugging the skinny glass of alcoholic beverage. "Whatever… you know I did it better." She said setting the glass back on the tray. "What?" Mario asked feigning innocence. "EVERYTHING!" Peach snapped, another goomba waddling in as the other left. Mario looked at her with a look of pure disgust, before scowling at her. "Yeah, you know my own fucking brother agreed with that!" Mario growled, recalling walking into his old penthouse and seeing them in the bed together. He shuddered.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" She screeched. "You're mad at me when you should be mad at him! Y'know for sleeping with your FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!" She said downing another Sex on the Beach. "I am," Mario said calmly. "But I'm also mad at you for—ahem— 'sleeping with my FUCKING BROTHER'." Mario said mimicking Peach's voice on the last part. She let out a screech of agony and frustration. Mario watched as she chucked the skinny glass at a nearby wall, and pant as it shattered to the floor. "Geez… does someone need to be put back in her cage?" Mario asked, cocking his head. Then Peach stopped panting, and Mario was afraid she was going to do something rash.
But then, Peach broke down and started crying, balling more like, wailing and all. She sniffled and for a moment, Mario felt a little bad for her. But this wasn't a sad cry this was a "I didn't get the Gucci bag I wanted for Christmas" cry. She was upset because Mario didn't agree with her like everyone else did, he was real with her.
Then Peach suddenly stopped and chugged another drink off of another goomba that had just sat through the whole conversation. She then walked over the Mario, and he started to get up, once again afraid. But before he could, Peach was on his lap, straddling. "Peach… you are drunk… get off." He said trying to pick her up, but she was too heavy. Peach wrapped her drunken arms around his neck and belched loudly. "Ugh." He said, grossed out. "Oh, Mario…" she said before placing a big drunken kiss on his lips. "Peach, get off!" He struggled, but those Sex on the Beaches must have had super stars in them because she was super strong. She laughed a drunken laugh and kissed him again, and again, and again, and again.
Hello Babs! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, I will try to post as often as possible, please be sure to leave me a nice little review, and tell how I can improve and what you really liked. Thanks again, babs! ~(◡﹏◕✿)