Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

WARNING: Very random…again…very random and weird …anyway I made references to this 'episode' in 'Are you thirsty Bella?'

I hope you'll like it, even tho it's strange.

Thank you so much armanifan101 for giving me the idea of turning this into a one shot.

I hope you'll enjoy it! Please don't hate me if you don't like it :)

Bromance

It was just a normal afternoon at the Cullen residence, 17th of May 2000 7:30 pm to be more specific. Edward was, as always, moping over his piano, playing sad love-songs that were meant for none in particular. Carlisle was reading one of his massive doctor-ish books, looking awful smart. Esme was sketching her happy family and humming to herself. Alice and Jasper were staring at each other and Rosalie and Emmett were spending 'quality time', as always. Just another normal afternoon…so far.

After 5 hours of 'quality time', Emmett came down from his room with his usual big grin. "Anyone for a hunt?" He asked, and no response. "Heeloow!" He shouted and Jasper carefully moved his gaze from Alice's face.

"Not before you wash your hands." He simply muttered, since he had felt their emotions and had heard almost everything of what had been going on upstairs, knowing that the hand wash was necessary.

After a long discussion of if Emmett's hands were clean or not, Jasper and Edward joined him for a hunt.

"Brother bonding time!" Esme had chirped, feeling all warm and motherly. All the boys rolled their eyes as they stepped out and headed for the forest.

"You know…" Edward began, and both Emmett and Jasper sighed. Here he goes again. They thought and Edward continued. "Today's Norway's independence day…"He said and gazed out at nothing.

"You know…" Emmett said and rested his hand on Edward's shoulder. "You really need to get laid, man." Edward froze, but continued to run. He wasn't happy about were this conversation had ended up. Jasper sensed Edward's self-consciousness and glared at Emmett. They both knew that this was a touchy subject for him. Emmett rolled his eyes, as if to say; It had to be said.

They caught the scent of a few elk and ran after them. Edward and Jasper had both drained two elk each, when they realized Emmett was holding an elk, forcing something in it's mouth. As they looked closer, they saw that he was pouring an alcoholic beverage and sugar down the poor elk's throat.

"What the hell are you doing Emmett!?" Edward shrieked and pulled his own hair in frustration. He could read Emmett's mind, but he kept repeating; This is gonna be so fun! This is gonna be so fun!

"Emmett!" Both shouted at the same time and Emmett's face popped up, with a smirk painted across it. This is not good, Jasper thought and Edward nodded agreeing in his direction.

Emmett walked towards them with the elk under his arm; it looked like it was terribly ill and dying. "Gentlemen…" He began and stopped in front of them, smirking wider then before. He raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath before he continued. "Haven't you ever wondered if us vampires can be affected by alcohol or sugar, if it was in the 'victims' system." His smirk faded when he didn't get the feedback he expected. Jasper's jaw dropped and Edward took a few steps back, pulling Jasper along.

Emmett opened his mouth to continue, not noticing them retreating. "I shall now try out this theory of mine, since I have now filled up this elk with alcohol and sugar." He said very matter-of-factly and lifted the elk, which was more dead then a live, to his mouth, not noticing his brothers confused and disturbed stares. "Bottoms up." And he broke its neck and sank his teeth into the elks neck, and drained it slowly. When he was finished, he dropped the elk and smiled to his brothers.

"Well…now….I'm feeling grrreat!" He said as he stretched his arms over his head and began to stumble over to his brothers and pulled them both into a bear hug. "I love you guys." He mumbled and turned to Jasper. He smiled very drunkly. "Especially you Jasper, but Shhhhhh, don't tell Eddie boy, I just prefer blonds. Edward's to red headed." Emmett mumbled and let go of Edward and rested his arm on Jasper's shoulder.

"I can hear you, you know!?" Edward cried. "And I'm not a red head! It's bronze!" He continued, feeling hurt.

"Oh shut up gingerella! I'm talkin' to Jazzy." Emmett said with a husky voice and stared into Jasper's eyes, who had frozen with fear – fear of what was about to happen. Emmett leaned closer and moved his other hand behind Jasper's head. As their lips touched, Emmett moaned and Jasper squirmed, desperate to get out of Emmett's grip. At last he succeeded and threw himself to the ground and licked the grass and mud, anything to get the taste away.

Edward was standing on the sideline, either feeling really jealous or really disgusted. He hadn't decided yet.

Emmett was staring with big eyes at his brother who was licking the ground. Oh fuck! What have I done now? He thought and Edward chuckled, he was never going to let them forget this.

When Jasper stood up again, terrified to meet Emmett's gaze. Then Edward asked. "So how was the kiss?" He chuckled and Jasper glared at him.

"Why don't you try it yourself?" Jasper mumbled as he wiped his mouth, wanting to throw up. Edward and Jasper glared at each other – Emmett cleared his throat.

"I have come to a conclusion…" He began, waiting for a reply, but when only the crickets answered, he narrowed his eyes and continued. "Vampires can get drunk…but they get sober really fa-" He managed to say before he threw himself into a bush and vomited, making horrible and disgusting throw up sounds.

"I guess he has to go hunting again…" Edward mumbled as he tried to ignore the repulsive sounds Emmett was making.

"You're gonna tell Rose, I'm not doing it." Jasper said quickly and smirked in Edward's direction. Edward was about to protest before Emmett threw up again.

"Oh Fuck!" Emmett cried one last time, emptying himself.

Just another normal day…

Okaaay…please don't hate me if you don't like it…I was hoping it was gonna turn out funny! :D

Please let me know what you think! Don't judge me…I was just having some fun… which I hope you did as well ;) I'm not saying any of the characters are gay, but what do I know...and I'm not saying that vampires can get drunk...just having some fun!

Review! Pretty please!!

Love you all, Kjersti XD