Embracing Entropy
by Shinigami no Aiwa
2/17/01
Warnings: 1x2 IS there; hard to see the x, but it's there somewhere.
A/n: Just sat and wrote this; I have no idea how good it is.
I haven't spell-checked it, haven't even re-read it since I wrote it. And YES, I do have an overly pretentious vocabulary, but I can't HELP it! The words just fit nicely. ^_^
Like my Moonlight Sonata fic, this one was inspired by listening to the... well, Moonlight Sonata.
Entropy- (n-tro-p) n. Inevitable and steady deterioration of a system or society.
Embracing Entropy
I destroy myself, remembering your brilliant eyes.
In the dark of night, nothing seems to live as time winds down to its gentle conclusion, embracing entropy.
I thought the world would resist, I thought it would hurt to lay down and die. Such sweet surrender, freedom... nothing like my nightmares.
But even in this delusion of comfort, I know I am without you, and that destroys the utopia I could dream to touch in the arms of amnesia.
This abysmal pit of desire, this wish to enhance the both of us with intertwined terpischorean landscapes... only with you in my dreams am I complete, and I know you are the same. Some hole is gouged out, the art of a careless child with safety scissors, sawing away at my chest... and then you would appear, and with careful adhesive you put it back in, securing in and then taking me in with your childish smile.
But every time you left, I was incomplete again.
The whole is greater than the parts... you and I held together with the ties of love are greater than Heero and Duo, just thrown together, not to stay.
But I suppose it was the latter... for you are gone.
And even though less than half of me is still alive, this infinitesimal part is stronger, for perfection is achieved throughout tears; the locus of supremacy finds its nadir at sadness. The greater my apathetic sorrow, the stronger my heart is; I am less afraid to die.
You could snap me in half with a gaze, this fragile twig locked in a chimera ( 1 ).
And slowly, the red sand trickles through the grasping hands of the hourglass of dawn, as I and Entropy lie together, drinking of each other, and the stars overhead whirl slower. Sluggish, in their phantasmagoria of inky Stygian skies; they dance their hellish minuet with faltering steps, until they streak towards the Earth, dying before they can ever reach their tender blue lover.
The ceiling opens, the walls fall away, and the pall descends from the sky above, the void opening to swallow me.
The red sands have all trickled away, and my last thought is of you, lying abandoned in the battlefield. Why did you forsake me?
But does it matter now? I go to join you, passing peacefully from acquaintance with conciousness to my mellifluous somnolence.
~~~~
( 1 ) Chimera can mean a vain, foolish, or incongruous fancy, which is how I use it here.
by Shinigami no Aiwa
2/17/01
Warnings: 1x2 IS there; hard to see the x, but it's there somewhere.
A/n: Just sat and wrote this; I have no idea how good it is.
I haven't spell-checked it, haven't even re-read it since I wrote it. And YES, I do have an overly pretentious vocabulary, but I can't HELP it! The words just fit nicely. ^_^
Like my Moonlight Sonata fic, this one was inspired by listening to the... well, Moonlight Sonata.
Entropy- (n-tro-p) n. Inevitable and steady deterioration of a system or society.
Embracing Entropy
I destroy myself, remembering your brilliant eyes.
In the dark of night, nothing seems to live as time winds down to its gentle conclusion, embracing entropy.
I thought the world would resist, I thought it would hurt to lay down and die. Such sweet surrender, freedom... nothing like my nightmares.
But even in this delusion of comfort, I know I am without you, and that destroys the utopia I could dream to touch in the arms of amnesia.
This abysmal pit of desire, this wish to enhance the both of us with intertwined terpischorean landscapes... only with you in my dreams am I complete, and I know you are the same. Some hole is gouged out, the art of a careless child with safety scissors, sawing away at my chest... and then you would appear, and with careful adhesive you put it back in, securing in and then taking me in with your childish smile.
But every time you left, I was incomplete again.
The whole is greater than the parts... you and I held together with the ties of love are greater than Heero and Duo, just thrown together, not to stay.
But I suppose it was the latter... for you are gone.
And even though less than half of me is still alive, this infinitesimal part is stronger, for perfection is achieved throughout tears; the locus of supremacy finds its nadir at sadness. The greater my apathetic sorrow, the stronger my heart is; I am less afraid to die.
You could snap me in half with a gaze, this fragile twig locked in a chimera ( 1 ).
And slowly, the red sand trickles through the grasping hands of the hourglass of dawn, as I and Entropy lie together, drinking of each other, and the stars overhead whirl slower. Sluggish, in their phantasmagoria of inky Stygian skies; they dance their hellish minuet with faltering steps, until they streak towards the Earth, dying before they can ever reach their tender blue lover.
The ceiling opens, the walls fall away, and the pall descends from the sky above, the void opening to swallow me.
The red sands have all trickled away, and my last thought is of you, lying abandoned in the battlefield. Why did you forsake me?
But does it matter now? I go to join you, passing peacefully from acquaintance with conciousness to my mellifluous somnolence.
~~~~
( 1 ) Chimera can mean a vain, foolish, or incongruous fancy, which is how I use it here.