KissMeDeadlyT-T: Hurray for more random ideas that you get when you can't manage to write the third chapter to your other DGM fic! What no that's not my situation D: Just kidding it is and I suck.

I wrote this really quickly and so it's kind of rushed and probably could be a lot better, but meh, I'm lazy. D:

I don't own D Gray Man and if you don't like Arekan you really shouldn't be here. I mean come on now.

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How is it this hard to find a freaking bean sprout who tends to create a ruckus wherever he goes in a building where sound travels everywhere and you can hear Komui screaming from five floors up? Lavi thought irritably to himself as he strode through the doors that led to the Black Order's dining hall. After giving the tables a quick once-over, he sighed, becoming more and more impatient.

Komui had asked him to locate Allen and bring him downstairs immediately for debriefing on a mission that needed to be completed as soon as possible, and as luck would have it, Lavi couldn't find Allen anywhere. Usually, when Lavi wasn't searching his butt off for him, he'd see Allen everywhere. He'd checked Allen's room, Lenalee's room, downstairs, the training rooms, the bath house, the bathroom, and some of the lounges where Allen usually went. Hell, he'd even checked Kanda's room, but neither Kanda nor Allen was there. As Bookman Junior, he supposed he should have a tad more patience than this, but really- where the hell was that little bean sprout?

He spotted Jerry wiping a table near the window and headed over to him, greeting the cook with a grin and a wave. Jerry gave him a wide smile.

"What can I do for you?"

"Have you seen Allen anywhere? I need to find him, and I've looked everywhere—I figured he'd be here, but no. It's like he disappeared."

Jerry frowned. "Oh, he was here, about a half hour ago I'd say. He was eating with Kanda. They left in a hurry. Did you check the training rooms?"

Lavi heaved another long sigh, feeling deflated. "Yeah. I guess it wouldn't hurt to check again, though. Thanks, Jerry."

"Anytime, honey. Sorry I couldn't be of more help."

"Hey, that's fine. At least now I know he was with Kanda, so if I see him, I can ask."

After saying good-bye to Jerry, Lavi headed back out of the cafeteria, looking both ways when he reached the door. He thought for a moment, then decided to go and check the training rooms again, since if Allen was with Kanda, they were most likely training together, because Lavi found that when they weren't arguing, they were beating each other up. We're fighting for a reason, this way, was how Allen justified it. Lavi often wondered how two people who got into so many arguments could make the semi-relationship thing they had work, and always gave up trying to figure it out. It was a mystery to him, and it probably always would be.

When he got to the training rooms, he was immediately discouraged upon hearing total silence. If Allen and Kanda were fighting, he was sure he'd hear a lot more swearing and death threats. Still, he walked in and gave the room a quick scan, not surprised when there was no one there. As he left, he slammed the door a bit harder than necessary in an attempt to take out some frustration. It didn't do much.

Fuck, this was annoying. He couldn't even contact Allen with Timcanpy, because as Lavi's rotten luck would have it, Allen didn't have Tim with him. The golden golem was always with him. Except today, apparently. Lavi had to repress the urge to slam his head into the nearest wall.

Alright, he thought to himself. One more time. I'll check the whole building one more time and if I don't find him, I'm telling Komui he can get someone else for the job.

And so he did, checking every room where Allen would ever go, even going so far as to check under tables and behind bookshelves. An hour later, he still hadn't found Allen, and had progressed past impatient and frustrated to just plain pissed off. "Damn it, Allen!" he yelled to no one in particular as he flopped down onto a couch in one of the lounges he and his friends used more often. "Where the hell are you?" he muttered. He'd admit he was sulking. Why was Allen so hard to find today?

He sat there brooding for a few moments, glaring at the wall with his single eye, and since one eye was as good as two with him, there was a whole lot of anger in that one eye. Then he heard someone walk in, and looked up, trying not to look like he wanted to kill someone. It was Miranda, and once she saw his face, she let out a wail and cried, "I'm sorry!"

Lavi couldn't help but grin a bit despite his bad mood. "Hey, Miranda. Don't be sorry, I'm just cranky."

"O-oh." She wiped her eyes, trembling, and offered him a watery smile. "What's wrong?"

"I've been looking for Allen all day, and I can't find him. It's important." Lavi sighed, then grumbled, "I have no idea why finding that little shit is so hard today, usually he's popping up everywhere."

He wondered then why Miranda turned a deep shade of red and abruptly started stuttering something about remembering she had to clean her room before turning around and beginning to flee. Alarmed, Lavi stood and chased after her, grabbing her wrist. "Miranda, what the heck?" he demanded.

"L-L-Lavi—" Her brown eyes were wide and her face was so red Lavi was sort of worried she was going to pass out. She gulped audibly. "Y-you're looking for Allen, you say?"

"Yeah. Or Kanda, he might know where Allen is." She turned even darker red when he mentioned Kanda, looking absolutely mortified. Lavi's frown deepened. "What?" Then, he asked, "Did you see them?"

Miranda looked like she was going to die. "Y-yes, I saw them…"

"When? Where?" Lavi demanded, excited to finally have a lead. "Tell me!"

"I-I was looking for a p-place to read my new book—I know the first five lounges are the ones we use usually but I wanted to be alone, s-so I went to the furthest one… And, th-they were there, and—" She let out another wail and tore her wrist out of Lavi's grip before running away as fast as she possibly could, leaving a very confused Lavi behind. He stared after her for a moment, shocked. Then he made a grim face.

"I guess I should go check it out," he muttered to himself, half-dreading it because he had no idea what could make Miranda lose her shit like that. Granted, it didn't take much to make Miranda lose her shit, but still. He was a bit nervous.

The first thing he saw was Kanda's head thrown back on the couch, one hand covering his face and his eyes lightly shut, a light pink flush dusting his cheeks. For a moment, Lavi was really very confused. Was Kanda sick or something? Then he looked down and saw Allen's head bobbing between Kanda's legs and it clicked.

"Oh."

Kanda's eyes snapped open and his head whipped around so fast Lavi was vaguely worried he'd given himself whiplash. His already flushed cheeks turned dark red and a look of ultimate mortification came over him, his eyes widening. He began harshly pushing at Allen's head, but it seemed Allen got the wrong idea, because he hollowed his cheeks and hummed instead of stopping. Kanda swallowed a frustrated groan of pleasure and Lavi's pants started feeling a bit tight.

"Moyashi." Kanda grit his teeth and shoved at Allen's head, shuddering when that just made more delicious friction on his dick. Lavi felt a suspicious trickle in his nose and hastily raised his hand to cover it.

"Allen," Kanda was growling, "stop, fuck—"

Allen pulled off, a grin on his face when he saw how red Kanda's face was. "What's wrong, Kanda? Don't wanna finish like this?" This made Kanda turn even redder, and Allen's grin widened until it was slightly reminiscent of the one he wore while playing cards. Then he spotted Lavi standing there and froze, grin fading to a wide-eyed look of Oh fuck.

For a long moment, they all stared at each other, Lavi turning a light shade of shocked pink, Allen looking awkward, and Kanda bright red and absolutely horrified. It didn't help that Allen was still kneeling between Kanda's legs with his hands on his thighs, lips still barely inches away from… um, yeah. Lavi cleared his throat awkwardly and began backing up.

"Sorry," he said, laughing nervously and half-hysterically from shock. Seriously. He just found his two best guy friends having oral sex on the couch. He knew they were together, but fuck. This wasn't something he needed to see. No. No. He didn't want to. He didn't care and he wasn't a prude or anything but he didn't want to see it! No! It was fucking hot!

Wait. What?

"What did you need?" Allen asked in an innocent, calm voice that was so wrong for the situation that Kanda just stared at him with bug-eyes.

"Um… Komui wants to talk to you. It's…" What was it about again? Lavi really couldn't remember. "Uh, it's important."

"Oh, okay." Allen smiled brightly. "I'll be there in…" His eyes flicked away from Lavi's and to Kanda's dick, and then he smiled again. "Five minutes?"

Kanda looked about ready to die of mortification. His head fell back onto the couch and he covered his face with his hands. A strange little giggle bubbled out of Lavi's throat and he backed up, nodding.

"Okay, uh… Yeah. Just… finish up and go see him."

Still with that smile. "Sure."

Lavi nodded once more and then turned on his heel and got out of there as fast as he could. He tried not to hear Allen snicker and Kanda start screeching at him and then let out a very sexy-sounding moan. He really did. It didn't work all that well, though, and he pretended that he really did have to bend down and adjust his boot, not so he could hear Kanda moan more.

Really.

His hands came away from his face red and he sniffled. Well. Maybe he should find a tissue before he bled a river of blood down the Black Order's hallway and died of blood loss.

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KissMeDeadlyT-T: LOL, Allen.

I think Lavi should have joined in.

I'm just saying.

Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for reading. Haha. I'm sorry that this was so pointless and that you have just wasted like five minutes of your life reading it. c: