I don't own Blue Bloods, even if I wish that I did!
So I'm starting with a Prologue this time. We'll see how it goes! Just letting you know this story is about Jamie and a character of my own making.
Anna's POV
The doctor left the room, and Jamie grabbed my hand. I just stared at the wall. I had been expecting this, but now that it was actually here it was different. I was dying, and leaving the man I loved. "Anna, we'll fight it. I can look for another doctor who knows more." Jamie stared going on and on about different things he could do, but I didn't listen. I had prepared myself for this every day for the last few years, if not my entire life.
"Jamie." He didn't stop talking, "Jamie stop." I grabbed his hand harder, well, at least as hard as I could. He finally looked at me, and I could see some of the hope leave his eyes. This was why I didn't want him to stay. I loved his innocence. It was amazing how he could stay innocent, even though he was a cop. Even after having his brother and mom die, he had retained some of that innocence. Seeing me die would change that. I wish he would understand that. "Jamie, I've known this has been coming for a long time. I'm prepared for this. The one thing I'm not prepared for is leaving you." A tear rolled down my face as I tried to smile.
"But what if we find some other option? The doctor said you had some other options." Jamie gripped my hand tighter, and moved his chair closer to my hospital bed.
Jamie's eyes started to water. I looked over at him, and I started to cry even more, "Jamie just stop. Those options have long been gone. They didn't work before. They won't work now. I love you, but you need to stop this. Leave, I can't do this to you." I looked away from him, and pulled my hand away. He didn't move, so I told him to leave again. He still didn't move, "Jamie leave! I don't want you here!" My voice started to shake, and I was balling by now. I had tried to leave him before for this very same reason, and was trying to force him to leave now.
Jamie got up, and I was glad he was leaving. I needed him, but I also needed for him to leave. I couldn't destroy him. "I can't do this to you Jamie. You need to leave." My voice broke half way in between, and I really wished it hadn't.
He came over, and lifted me up a little bit. He slid in beneath me, and put me on his lap. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. He just held me, and let me cry. I could feel his tears drop onto my cheeks, but that just made me cry harder. "I c-can't be strong enough for two people Jamie. I can b-barely be strong enough for myself."
"Anna-Beth, don't even go there. I will not leave you. You tried to make that decision for me before, and you didn't win then either. I'm staying here, even if you don't get better. I love you with all my heart Anna, and even if it means I will lose you, I'm going to stay with you."
My crying slowed down at that. I wanted him to leave, but I needed someone to stay with me; I needed Jamie, even if it meant destroying his innocence in the process.
Jamie POV
The doctor walked out of the room, and immediately I started talking about other options. I needed to stall, I needed her to think I was strong enough for the both of us.
"Jamie just stop. Jamie, I've known this has been coming for a long time. I'm prepared for this. The one thing I'm not prepared for is leaving you." A tear rolled down her cheek. I grabbed her hand, and moved my chair closer.
"But what if we find some other option? The doctor said you had some other options." I could feel a tear roll down my cheek to match hers.
"Jamie just stop. Those options have long been gone. They didn't work before. They won't work now. I love you, but you need to stop this. Leave, I can't do this to you." She was trying to convince me to leave again. She had left before, and not given me a choice on whether or not I could stay. I tracked her down, and told her I would not leave; even if it meant that her cancer was worse than before.
I got up to move towards her, but she spoke before I could do anything, "I can't do this to you Jamie. You need to leave." He voice broke, and I just wanted to hold her. I wanted to make everything all right for her. I wanted to take the cancer out of her body, and destroy it. I wished that I could be sick, instead of her; anything to make her better.
I picked her up slowly, and moved underneath her. I knew she would feel some pain with me jostling her like this, but we both needed to be near each other. I held her against my chest, and just let my tears fall with hers. I didn't say anything, knowing this would be enough. Eventually she calmed down enough to speak, "I c-can't be strong enough for two people Jamie. I can b-barely be strong enough for myself."
"Anna-Beth." I paused to make sure she knew I was serious. I only called her by her full name when I was mad at her. She made fun of me for it, "Anna-Beth, don't even go there. I will not leave you. You tried to make that decision for me before, and you didn't win then either. I'm staying here, even if you don't get better. I love you with all my heart Anna, and even if it means I will lose you, I'm going to stay with you." I held her close, and she soon fell asleep. I listened to her heart beating on the machine, and wished that sound would last forever. I couldn't lose her, it would destroy me. I knew it, but I couldn't leave her. That would hurt even more. I had to find a cure before it was too late.
A/N: Hey all! Go look at my other stories. I haven't updated some of them in a while, but I'm going to work on editing them before I add more. You'd like them though!