A/N 3-27-18: Ok, so I have no excuse for neglecting this story for so long. If I could say anything, it would be that I've been having the worst case of writer's block. I knew how I wanted to end the story, but I just couldn't write it.

All of the sudden, though, I feel the urge to write more for this story, but I'd like to start all over from the beginning.

I will be re-writing the 12 chapters I already had written, leading it up to brand new chapters. I am hoping this won't take me long to finish, but we will see. For the re-written chapters, I will be adding more, making them more cohesive, and also be changing certain things. I am not sure what just yet, but this will always be a fic about Seiya and Usagi, so do not worry about that.

I just feel that if I begin by re-writing, I will have the spark again. Please continue to support this little adventure of mine, and thank you for all of the support you have given this far.

In place

"I can't believe you still have that poster on your wall," Minako said, shaking her head. Her hair swayed along her back. "And how old are you, again?"

As I get older, I have been learning that the progressions of time and life do not follow the same course. They move at different paces, and ten times out of ten, time is always in the lead. It's a race that life, no matter how much you fill it with or take pause, it will never catch up. It's as if one minute you're thirteen, and then you wake up a fifty-year-old wondering what the hell happened.

Where did life go?

What did I accomplish in all of that time?

What do I regret I didn't do?

And was I ever happy?

Although I am not exactly a half a century just yet, I am twenty-five—about to age another year—, and my greatest fear is that I have not cherished my life in the time I have been given. Imagine a beaker, which I will label "time," and in this beaker, I will pour all of my memories: childhood, birthdays, friendships, relationships, hobbies, family, life events, and accomplishments. I am sure that once it all settles in the beaker, I will come up very short of the imaginary line society thinks I should be at.

I know I should not compare my life to anyone else's, but that doesn't mean I don't. For the sake of the definition, at twenty-five, I should be an adult. I should have responsibilities that separate me from a teenager, but in all honesty, I feel that the evolution into an adult has skipped over me.

Even if I do become an adult—who knows when that will be—I don't know if that would even stop me from what I am doing now…which is a whole lot of nothing.

I graduated college about two years ago. It was a struggle, and I am not sure if I have exactly recovered completely. In terms of academics, they weren't the easiest of years…but really, no matter the level of education, I've always considered text books to be the bane of my existence. Which is why when I walked across the stage to collect my diploma, I'm sure all of my friends, family, and Mamoru pinched themselves to make sure what they were seeing was actually happening. The difficulty with college, though, is that algebra turned into calculus and English grammar went from sentences like "I have a pen" to "If Usagi had spent more time studying, then she would have passed the exam." Truth be told, I don't remember anything I had crammed into my head the night before tests, but thankfully I don't have to solve for 'x' before I leave my house, and if I ever came across and English-speaking person (or anyone else of other languages other than Japanese), I will default to "Sorry, I don't speak English," and keep on my way.

Going to college was supposed to be a sure thing. You graduate, get a piece of paper that says you could do blank and blank, and then abracadabra, you have a job. Or at least that is how everyone, including my parents, made it seem. I really didn't have a say in the matter (of going to college or not). I had to go to school. Looking back now, I wish I would've spoken up. Maybe even send in those manga drafts I had under my bed to see if I could win a contest to become an official writer. However, hindsight is always 20/20.

The consequence in my indecision back then is the reason why I am in the predicament that I am in now. Unlike what "they" say, there was no magic in my getting my diploma, which is now a very expensive dust collector hanging on my wall. Despite multiple attempts, I have still not been able to secure a full time job or even get an interview. However, as luck would have it, I did manage to be hired for three part-time jobs, all paying minimum wage, and had the opportunity to decline a fourth offer. Go figure.

While my friends have already transitioned into their careers, I am stuck in place. I am in-between being a teenager and an adult, teetering more to neither side—at a complete standstill. I suppose that could explain why I still garner fangirl-like love for Three Lights. I think a large part of it is that I don't want to let go of nostalgia more than anything else. Even now when I hear their music, I think back to when I was fifteen; going to their concerts, buying every magazine that mentioned them, and analyzing every lyric of their songs, thinking the words were somehow about me.

Everything was so much better then. My friends and I were closer, and Mamoru…well, he was actually here with me. I didn't have a care in the world, and if I did, I was oblivious to it. I didn't have to worry about who I wanted to be, what kind of job I wanted, or even how I was going to afford to eat. It was all perfect, or as perfect life can get.

"Whatever, Minako," I said, and rolled my eyes. "You don't have a right to say anything, when I know you have one of their songs as a ringtone."

Her cheeks turned red, about the same color as the bow in her hair. "That is completely different."

I laughed. "I'm still not taking it down. It's my favorite picture of them." They were wearing baggy clothing, a staple of late 90s/early 2000's fashion, posing on a stage with a crowd of fans cheering behind them. Maybe it was the funny clothes, or the way they were all linked at the arms that made it my favorite, but honestly, any picture could replace it.

She shook her head, and sat down at the end of my bed. Her happy demeanor changed, becoming more serious by the second. "So, has he called you lately?"

"Mamoru?" Even saying his name sent a shiver up my spine. It had been a while since I've said it out loud.

She nodded. "Yeah."

I stood up, and straightened my shirt. "He called me last week. We only talked for about two minutes, though," I said with a sigh. "He just wanted to let me know that he was leaving Osaka for Hokkaido."

"Did he say when he is coming back to Tokyo?"

I shrugged. "He didn't say, but I haven't seen him for two months."

She placed a hand over her heart. "I'm sorry, Usagi."

As I said before, life used to be so much easier. This also included my relationship with Mamoru. It started out like any clichéd storyline in a romance novel. It was almost as if destiny had premixed our pheromones together and cascaded the mixture over us once our eyes locked on to each other, creating a mist only we resided in. The rest of the world lay in its outskirts. Like most couples, we met in high school. However I must say, my first impression of him was that he was a jerk. He's make fun of my hair, and then laugh if I tripped over something in the hallways, which was a lot of the time. I wasn't made exactly to be the picture of grace…

Needless to say, I definitely didn't understand why other girls would swoon over him. He was mean, and totally took pleasure in the downfalls of others. So one day I had enough of his antics, and pulled him into an empty classroom. I was fully prepared to lay a beat down…even if it was just in words. I didn't want to take his attitude and snide comments anymore.

Before I was able to get a vulgar word in, he surprised me by pinning me against the chalkboard. His muscular arms were on either side of me, leaving me nowhere to go, only to stare at him wide-eyed. And that's when he kissed me. I guess I missed the memo that when a guy teases you, he actually wants you. I know it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but as with everything else in life, what does?

"Mamoru has always been like that though, hasn't he? Always thinking about himself…and not really about the two of you in the present," Minako said, and crossed her arms. "Doesn't he know that relationships aren't linear? What if you start to slip away from him?"

I shrugged. "I am not really going anywhere. I am stuck here, barely making enough to eat anything other than ramen noodles," I replied. "And anyway, why would he worry about the present? He doesn't have any reason to think that I might move on to something different or even to someone else."

"I didn't mean it like that. All I am saying is that relationships are difficult, especially ones that are long distance. If he isn't doing his part in keeping touch with you and planning for a future where you are both together, than your heart is going to just stop caring for him," she said, with an arm wave. "Whether you think it or not, it will happen."

I didn't say anything. My heart wasn't listening to her, but my mind heard her word for word, and took mental notes. She was right, though, however I would never tell her that.

"Geez, Usagi. You always have your face in manga. You should already know that's how stories like yours go," she warned.

We've been dating for seven years, which is already a long time compared to most people my age. All of my experience with relationships has been through him, so I'm not very well versed in how this sort of thing goes. Not even that, but I have never been with anyone but him, so I'm not very confident in the intimacy aspect as well. At this point I am not sure if I am with him because I care for him or I'm scared to be without him.

Honestly, it may be a little of both.

"Plus, you have needs, girl. I'm sure it's been a looooooong time since you've gotten any," she said with a wink.

"Minako, that is a conversation for another time," I said, and cleared my throat.

She nodded, and stood up from my bed. "I am going to go anyway, I have an audition for a candy commercial. I really need to get it!" she said, crossing her fingers in prayer. "You know, Usagi, I would never judge you about anything. Rei or Ami might, but I know how it is not to have it easy. Plus, my moral compass isn't exactly reliable.

I laughed.

She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Makoto, too. She gets it," she said, and walked to the door. "But if you ever want to just forget everything and loosen up, we'll take you out!"

I smiled. "I might be afraid of what that involves," I said. "But thanks, Minako. Maybe will take you up on that."

Once she left, I started to get ready for part-time job number one.

As I was explaining, Mamoru and I were once very close. I'll admit that I was weak, and I fell for him after his kiss in the empty classroom, in spite of him bullying me. When you're young, though, you really don't know any better, and I will just blame my indiscretion on that. Luckily, he wasn't a total jerk, and I soon realized why those girls would flock to him.

He was caring, in his own way. He would sometimes not notice when we'd walk past in the hallway for whatever reason, but he'd always be waiting for me after school, leaning against the steel gate, much to everyone's jealousy. He'd get mad if I failed a test, but would leave post-its on my locker with topics that would be on my next test in hopes that I would actually go home to study—I never did. He wasn't exactly Mr. Casanova with smooth phrases and earthshattering moves that made my knees buckle and my heart race with the slightest touch of his hand on my body. And yet, that didn't matter to me. He wanted to move slow, and I was ok with that. I was happy with just receiving a random "I miss you" text or when he'd show up to my campus with lunch. It was the simple moments like that that now make me realize we took for granted how great we had it, but it's hard to notice you have something good until it goes away.

Completing my uniform, by clipping on my name tag, I headed across the street to the convenience store, where I work the overnight shift as a cashier.

Around midnight, the store is pretty much empty, and the time between customers entering lengthens greatly. This is my favorite part about the shift, as I am usually always working on my own at this time of night. I don't have to be bothered with being forced to start conversations with co-workers, nor do I have to interact with many customers. Instead, I can just let my mind wander, pushing out any stressful thoughts, and fade into the humming of the coolers and whatever music is playing from the overhead speakers.

Finding solace in the emptiness and quiet is something I've grown accustomed to. I've spent too much time trying to please everyone else, making sure they are happy…and I forgot about myself in the whole mess of it. So it's nice not to worry about anyone or anything else. Right now, it's just me.

For the first time in a long while, a familiar song began to play. Its infectious melody took over my whole body, and suddenly I was bewitched. My hips began to sway, and even though I couldn't tell you the first thing I ate this morning, somehow I was able to sing the lyrics of the song, one that is about 10 years old, I'll have you know. It's funny how a song from my long-ago past has the power to take me to a whole other place in my head.

"Glad to see there is someone who still enjoys this song," a voice said.

Oh…no.

I froze in place. For some reason I thought that maybe if I stayed still, whoever it was would pretend that he didn't see me dancing, that is, if you call convulsing movements dancing. Standing still may trick him into forgetting about me awkwardly moving, but what is going to have him overlook my singing? Oh god, my singing. Look, I like to sing. I'll stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom holding a pretend microphone—hairbrush—and belt out songs as if I were on stage. Admittedly, I am well aware of the fact that I will never be winning awards for my scratchy-sounds-like-a-cat-is-dying voice; however my skin is not that thick when it comes to others hearing me. In fact, it's bright as the sun right now, at this moment.

I took in a deep breath to maintain my composure and build up enough courage to face him. I mean, I'll have to look at him some point, since he did come in to purchase something.

I turned around slowly. Our eyes met, and that was when my body jolted backward against the wall, as if a magic blast struck me, catapulting me yards away.

His head turned to the side. "Are you ok?" he asked.

If he didn't think I was a crazy person before when I was dancing and singing on my own, he certainly does now. He is definitely giving me the look. You know, the one of concern, but you're only willing to help from a distance just in case you need to run away.

There have been many times in my life where I hoped for my heart to stop beating so that my body would fall limp to the ground. As a matter of fact, a lot of those moments occurred during puberty, because, well, that's life. It's a badge of shame that we all must obtain at some point. Anyway, so I've had many embarrassing instances, including falling on my face in a crowded subway car and my child-like panties being exposed from my skirt lifting up, and that one time I fell asleep on my desk at school and moaned my professor's name while I slept. That one was particularly uncomfortable for obvious reasons. (But hey, if you had a professor that looked as good as he did, you'd be hard-pressed not to think about him in non-academic ways.)

And then, there is this time, which might be the cherry on top. Oh man, if only I could end it all right now.

Let's set the scene. I am an "adult" working her late night shift at a convenience store. Song comes on the radio, and she dances, belts out the chorus while playing air guitar, and all of the while, neglecting anyone who enters the store. The person who walks into the store is not just anyone…it just so happens to be real life singer of the song, Seiya Kou, leader of the Three Lights. And more importantly, my celebrity crush.

This better be a dream, and I hope I wake up soon.