A/N: Because sometimes when I'm typing, one-shots just magically appear on the screen. There needs to be more love for these guys!

I slam myself against a locker next to Christophe, cross my arms and frown. He nods at me in acknowledgment and asks: "Do you want to go get some lunch? I want to smoke, oui?"

I ignore him and glare across the hall. "Look, there he is, golden boy Stan Marsh and his pretty little girlfriend Wendy Testaburger, all loved up by the lockers. How sickening. Can't they see they're making everyone gag?"

I narrow my eyes; I do not like it at all. It gets me more wound up than I care to be. Wendy giggles as Stan whispers in her ear; he looks smug with himself, like he's just told the funniest anecdote in the world. I bet it was stupid, just like his relationship is. I bet she's only pretending to laugh so she doesn't hurt his feelings. I'd just tell him straight what a fool he is.

"I know I say it every day but I don't see why he hates me. He's still hung up on some stupid thing we did as kids. If anything, I have reason to hate him about that. He won Wendy and then rubbed it in my face, even though I was the one that came up with the whole plan. But no, he steals all the credit and manages to come out of it all looking the better person."

"Mmnn," grunts Tophe.

"And now, even after all these years, he acts weird around me. He thinks every move I make is planned and deliberate to bring him pain and suffering and have Wendy for myself."

"Terrible."

"I don't plan to bring him pain. I do plan to break him up from his girlfriend. I'm more... saving him; she's not right with him. He could find someone more to his requirements. I have a feeling that he goes for a different type."

"..."

"She could have someone different, someone more suited to her abilities perhaps? Someone that understands how to get a decent haircut." I actually think that Stan's hair is nice. It's not as good as mine but then, whose is?

I notice that Tophe isn't replying. I turn my head to him; he's leaning against my locker with glazed over eyes.

I elbow him. "Tophe, are you even listening?"

He jolts to his senses. "What?-uh-lunch?"

"You dick." I turn my nose up at him. "You don't even care."

He rolls his eyes. "I 'ear it all every day." He scratches his head and yawns. "Sometimes multiple times. Do something or get over eet, beetch. I need to smoke." Wow, I have such a polite friend.

I sigh and stare across at the two lovebirds again, though I can tell that at least one of them is only pretending. My eyes trail over Stan's face. "What's so special about him? What is it that he's got?"

"...Wendy, clearly."

I crease my perfect brow into a frown. "And that is not the pairing that I think works best."

"Why don't you break zem up by making a grand action?"

I look into his deep green eyes enquiringly. "Like what?"

Tophe shrugs. "A kiss maybe?"

I considered the idea. "You mean just grab and kiss?"

"Yeah... eet's romantic or some sheet like zat." Christophe pauses. "Or possibly 'arassment depending on 'ow you look at eet."

I tilt my head to the side and watch the way my love's lips moved. A kiss would indeed be very nice. Those smiling lips look so soft. On some spur of the moment impulse, I agree. I straighten my hair in a locker reflection and grin at Tophe. "How do I look?"

"Like Prince Charming," he shoves me, "now go."

I approach Stan and Wendy with a charming grin on my face. They both stop what they're talking about and look at me, Stan with a frown. I don't say anything, just link eyes with Stan and lightly lick my lips.

"Hello, Stanley."

"...Gregory," he replies cautiously.

I step towards him, daring him to react with my eyes. He creases his brow and stays put. I lean forward, grab his collar and push him against his locker, all in one smooth movement. He doesn't see it coming, nor can he do anything to stop it. "Stan," I whisper breathlessly as I press my lips to his.

He gasps, lips quivering away from mine. With shaking hands he attempts to free himself. "Greg! W-what are you d-d-" I push on his chest, taking advantage of his open mouth and deepening the kiss. The most beautiful sound in the world happens: he groans. Feeling the heat between us I push my hands up to his neck.

He kisses back. The hands that were pushing me away now grasp desperately on my shirt. Stunned gasps and whispers occur around us but for those few seconds I hear nothing; I don't think he does either.

I force myself to withdraw my lips and smile, raising a finger to brush the softness of his bottom one. I look into his wide, ocean-blue eyes and revel in their haze of confusion. His cheeks are a brilliant red of fluster. He's so gorgeous. "That's all for now, Stanley," I whisper, before stepping away from him. I smirk at the very livid looking Wendy (serves her right) and then casually walk away down the corridor, swinging my hips slightly because I know he's watching. I leave them to their uncomfortable and messy break-up in peace. I'll see Stan later in my bed anyway; that's a fact. I will get my hands on that body. We will have passionate sex and most importantly, he will enjoy it.

Christophe runs up behind me, invading my quiet moment. He looks around. "Everyone is staring at you."

"No different than usual," I reply, raising an eyebrow and looking around to meet many pairs of inquisitive eyes. "It was your idea."

He smirks. "Mon ami, I meant for you to kiss ze girl!"

I frown in confusion. "That seems a lot less fun..."

A/N: Many thanks! Reviews are always appreciated! :D