Disclaimer: If you know it, I do not claim to own it.
Enter a Higher State
Deep inside a parallel universe / It's getting harder and harder / To tell what came first
-Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Parallel Universe"
"Do you always feel out of place here?"
Loki stared blankly ahead for a long time, allowing Steve to study the demigod's profile. Loki was all sharp angles and pale skin, made even more wan by the fact he was wearing dark colors in an all white room. The box seemed to glow white in the dark room it was located within, which was decorated in rich, dark woods and accented with crimson and gold.
Asgard had way too much gold. At least this room wasn't glowing as many of the other rooms Steve had been shown were. The soft golden glow gave Steve a headache.
Loki finally nodded, still staring at the wall opposite him and not giving Steve even a glance.
"For how long?"
"Since I was small," Loki admitted, knotting his long, pale fingers together in his lap. "Are you feeling out of place, Steven?"
Steve rubbed the back of his neck and shifted in the uncomfortable chair. Everything was uncomfortable on Asgard for Steve: the people, the furniture, the food, the ale, the light, the sky…the last few days had been a never ending Parade the Mortal around. After meeting Thor's beefy, battle happy friends and his almost cold and indifferent father, Steve had a better understanding of why Loki wound up going a bit off his rocker. Loki was clearly loved, yet he was never accepted for being as he naturally was— something Steve could understand. Before he became Captain America, the only person who accepted Steve was Bucky.
Loki looked up from his lap and Steve finally got to see those beautiful green eyes.
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's kind of normal for me to feel out of place," Steve admitted, adding an uncomfortable chuckle on at the end. "I'm usually out of my element."
"And time," Loki offered, cracking a very small smile. He shifted on the bench he was seated upon. "How do you spend your time when you're not wasting it here?"
Steve eyeballed Loki, frowning a little. "I'm not wasting my time."
Loki snorted. "Steven, there is nothing to do here."
Loki gestured around the box he was seated within, illustrating the lack of things to entertain.
"You said you didn't want to be alone," Steve reminded Loki like a broken record. "Not alone. I'm here. And your other stream of visitors."
Loki scoffed, looking away. "How is Jessica faring?"
"I still don't know. Your mother doesn't know when she finds me and no one else even entertains the idea of telling me anything."
"Mother continues to stalk you in the gardens?" Loki asked, turning to Steve wearing a teasing expression. Steve wanted to capture it on paper.
Steve nodded, doing his best to ignore his itching fingers. Since re-locking Loki up for his crimes against Asgard (due to the mind control and the fact he was two very different people when he'd made a bid to rule the Earth, Loki had been pardoned of those crimes), Loki had had his hair trimmed into a shorter style. Steve liked it. He wanted to run his fingers through the now shorter locks. The style was very similar to the one he'd sported as Good Loki on Earth (which at the worst times Steve had the impulse to touch). Besides Loki's hair, Steve wanted to record the Medieval looking outfit Loki was sporting.
Steve had a problem: Asgard lacked paper and pencils.
They had a library full of books, but when Steve had in inquired on where he might find paper and a pencil to draw he got a very blank looks. Thor knew what Steve wanted, but didn't have a clue where those materials would be found. (Thor was less than familiar with the library or anything not having to do with food, drinking, or battle.) Queen Frigga looked concerned for Steve's sanity when he had asked and changed the subject. Steve knew better than to ask Odin for anything.
Odin wasn't thrilled Steve was on Asgard.
"Today your mother wanted to know why I was using a stick to draw a tree," Steve admitted, his cheeks heading up.
Loki smiled softly. "I see."
"I get the feeling I'm not highly regarded here," Steve admitted, raking a hand through his hair. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs. "Thor tries to include me in…sparring with his friends, but it's just not my thing. I'd just…"
"Rather punch a bag?"
"Or run. I like running."
Loki gave Steve a look that said it was likely a good idea that Steve hadn't told Thor or his merry band of warriors he liked running. Steve sighed, sitting back and slouching in the uncomfortable chair.
"I'm sorry you are not enjoying your time here," Loki said quietly. "I didn't—"
"Hey, who said I'm not enjoying it?" Steve asked, sitting up straight. "I just…I want some paper."
Loki quirked an eyebrow. Steve opened his mouth to explain, then remembered Loki had spent quite a bit of time among Earthlings, so he'd understand unlike Thor. (And didn't care that Steve wanted to draw like Queen Frigga. Drawing was clearly not a male approved activity.)
Loki gave Steve directions to follow after he left. Steve spent another twenty minutes with Loki before Odin showed up. Not wanting to be glared at by a one-eyed god-king, Steve said his goodbyes and hightailed upstairs to the gold lighted palace. Seeing he had nothing better to do with his afternoon, Steve headed for the library. Once he was in the library, he followed the directions Loki had given him and found himself at an open area of the library where a very pretty woman around thirty sat. She was blonde, blue-eyed, and dressed in white instead of gold.
"I see you returned," she said as Steve stood before her.
"I was told you had paper."
"Paper?"
"Parchment? I'd rather not use parchment, though. I want to draw. Paper is made out of wood pulp, but I guess I'd settle for a canvas. Do you have canvas?"
"Ah! You are an artist! It makes sense," the woman said, lighting up. She quickly approached him and grabbed his hands, studying them in her own. Whatever she saw there seemed to excite her further. "Ah, yes, yes, yes. These are artist hands as well as those of a solider. Interesting. Midgard has changed."
A half hour later, Steve left the library with a huge wooden box filled with paper (well, the Asgardian equivalent), canvas, paint, charcoal and inks. And a few other items Steve had no idea what they were, but the woman had insisted he needed if he was going to "take part in art" as she kept saying.
I was ready to lose, and ready to fall / But then, something about the way you look at me / Makes it okay
-Holly Conlan, "OK"
"I got a whole box of art supplies."
"I told you she would supply you with what you required."
"Yeah. She loaded me up with everything Asgard has to offer."
"So, no more drawing in the dirt?"
"No, no more doodling in the dirt," Steven said, sounding a bit absent minded as his graceful hand sketched on the pad the Asgardian equivalent of paper Vör had supplied Steven with. Loki smirked. Steven glanced up and caught the expression of mischief on Loki's face and frowned. "Doodling isn't a bad word, Loki."
Loki leaned forward, enjoying the look of indignation on Steven's face. He licked his lips as he stared at the man on the other side of the glass.
Six months was going to be a lifetime. Loki was second guessing his action of bringing Steven with him to Asgard if he couldn't touch him. He wanted to touch, feel, prod, stroke, and many other things to the man on the other side of the glass. He'd just gotten a mere taste of what the man could offer, gotten only a mere kiss from the man before he'd been locked up in his cage again.
Loki had never really felt this before. Yes, he'd had had relations with others, but they were few and far between as no one really caught his fancy on Asgard.
From the moment Loki had seen Steven Rogers, something had caught on fire and now it just burned.
"Loki," Steven muttered, shifting in his seat and blushing.
"Oh, fine," Loki said, leaning back and schooling his features. "Tell me, what have you been doodling?"
"Sketching," Steven corrected, looking back down. "The sights."
He flipped the pages in the book till he came to the beginning. For having the book less than a day, Steven had been doodling quite a bit. Steven turned the book so he could show Loki what he'd drawn.
"This is the view out of the window at night. I've always liked the stars," Steven explained. He flipped the page.
Loki drank in each sketch. There were ones of his mother, Thor and his idiot friends, the palace gardens, and several of other places Loki hadn't seen in what felt like eons.
Of course, there were quite a few sketches of him— some with his long hair, some with his shorter hair, some of him dressed in the clothes he'd worn from Other Earth, some in his Asgardian armor, one in the clothing he wore now, and….
"You drew me as a Jötun," Loki said in distaste, eyeing the blue based sketch. "Why?"
"Why? Because, well, it's part of who you are," Steven said, appearing baffled. He turned the book to see which picture had upset Loki. "I liked your blue skin. You've got these designs on your skin...I drew it from memory, so I might have gotten some of it wrong."
Loki scowled.
"Here. This is what Jess looks like. I got to see her this morning," Steven said, turning to the last page.
Loki leaned forward, studying the page Steven had pressed to the glass. Jessica was shaded in a golden orange color, her long, fiery orange hair looking perfect and shiny. She was asleep, lying flat on her back in a white bed in the healing quarters.
"There's no change?" Loki inquired, reaching up and running his finger along the lines that made up Jess's orange hair.
"Your father told Thor he sealed her magic finally. He can't seem to get her not to be orange, though. He's rather worried she's channeling an orange."
"Did you explain her hair is often strange colors?"
"Yes. I told him about when she made me help her dye it blue," Steven grumped, turning the book to face him again. He reached into the box Vör had gifted him and pulled out an orange ink pot. He went about mixing it with a few other colors till he had the shade he wanted. "These Asgard inks are awesome. I wish we had them on Earth. They kind of work like a pencil, but they are colored and not like the colored pencils we've got back on Earth."
Loki let a small smile grace his lips.
Steven glanced up and smiled as well.
Loki leaned back, watching as Steven went back to drawing.
All of the things I want to say just aren't coming out right / I'm tripping on words / You got my heading spinning / I don't know where to go from here
-Lifehouse, "You and Me"
"This is seriously a parallel universe, Lo."
Loki fell out of bed in a tangle of blankets.
Jessica Witton was standing in front of his white box, leaning against one of the pillars a few feet from the picture window. She was cast in the shadows, but Loki saw her mouth quirk up in the corner as she studied him in a heap on the ground.
"Last thing I remember, I was shouting 'Don't Rain on My Parade' at Guy Pearce. Then I wake up in Asgard to a face full of Odin," Jessica remarked dryly, pushing herself off the pillar and sauntering forwards into the white light that spilled from Loki's box.
Loki gaped at her.
She no longer sported orange hair or the orange skin she'd had when they'd first arrived on Asgard. Jessica was not her usual shade of pale, though, but now a golden color that many Asgardians sported only a little more orange than what might be considered natural. Jess's eyes weren't burning orange and had reverted back to the unknown green she shared with Loki. Jess's hair was also a very similar shade to the one that grew out of Loki's head.
"Your hair is dark," Loki stated, getting to his feet.
"That's the first thing you say to me? You leave me behind on New Earth after I'm mind controlled by an Evil version of you, put myself into a coma by crashing one of Tony's overpriced sports cars, had my formally inherit magic activated, and then get doped up on an experimental drug that turns me into a fiery witch of death and the first thing you say is my hair is dark again?"
"I saw you when you…well, you were…"
"A doped up Fire Minion?" Jessica bitterly asked, folding her arms across her chest.
"Yes," Loki whispered.
Jessica huffed, letting her arms drop to her sides. "Whatever, Lo. I forgive you, as you're kind of batty."
"I am not batty."
"Uh huh."
"Are you well?"
"I'm tan, Loki. I am tan."
She said this like this was something that had never occurred within her lifetime. She held out her arms in front of her and stared at them as if they belonged to someone else and she wasn't sure how they'd gotten attached to her torso.
"You are tan?"
"Yeah, look at this skin? It's not normal for me!" She pulled at the skin on her arm. "Seriously, I've dreamed of the day I'd be this tan, though I'm kind of a little orange. Sunless tanner clearly used, though I didn't. Odin said he couldn't get my skin to drop the orange tint, as he couldn't totally neutralize Extremis. He fixed it so it works right with an apple."
"Idunn's Apples? You were given one?"
"Yeah," Jessica said, straightening. She pinned Loki with a look he couldn't name. "I'm half mortal, so all it really did was extend my already long life and heal my current issue, which was the fact Extremis failed at life and turned me into a fiery ball of death."
"So, just a longer life?" Loki inquired, half pleased and half mad someone else had told Jessica who her mother was. "No other side effects?"
"Not from the apple," Jessica said. "The apple got rid of the bad side effects of Extremis. I will not be blowing up any time soon."
"Yes, because you blowing up would be a bad thing," Loki dryly attempted to joke.
"It would. Then I'd be tiny bits of Jess and you'd be out of a friend. And Clint would put an arrow through your eye. And if he failed, it'd be an exploding one and you'd go wheeeeeeeeee!"
Jessica waved her hands around on either side of her head like she was going down a slide. Loki shook his head.
"Jessica?"
"Loki?"
"Are you really well?"
"As well as I can be, Lo. As well as I can be," Jessica assured.
'Cause, oh that gave me such a fright / But I will hold as long as you like / Just promise me we'll be all right
-Mumford & Sons, "Ghosts That We Knew"
"Are you mad at Loki?"
"No."
"Are you unhappy with him?"
"At the moment? Nope."
"Do you want to punch him in the nose?"
Jess cocked her head to the side and quirked an eyebrow in a familiar gesture. "No. I like his nose. I think you do too."
"How can you not be angry at him?" Steve asked, ignoring her last comment. "He left you on Earth alone with out-of-control magic."
"I felt like Thor's hammer when he left. Mjolnir isn't whacky and about to go BOOM."
"We thought you'd be mad when you woke up."
"Is that why you're here?"
Steve looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me Lo only brought you along to make me happy. If he really wanted to make me happy, he'd brought Clint. He brought you be because he l-i-i-i-i-i-ikes you," Jess finished in a sing song voice, shoving Steve.
Steve groaned, cheeks heating up. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked back at Jess, who was grinning wildly.
"Awwww, you're so adorable!" Jess screeched, reaching up to pinch Steve's cheeks.
He tried to bat her off, but failed.
Does anybody ever feel like / You're always one step behind / Now I'm sitting alone here in my bed / I'm waiting for an answer I don't know I'll get
-Safetysuit, "These Times"
"Did you have a plan?"
"When?"
"When you let Killian take you hostage."
"Oh. Uh, kind of. I thought I'd be able to escape once I got Killian out of the tower. However, using all the magic I'd been doing was messing with my head, so…well, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but he convinced me to go to the oil rig and set up shields. After I did the shield, I kind of passed out. While I was out, he dosed me and tied me up with this strange brace thing."
Jess's face darkened and she cast her eyes off to the side. Steven put a comforting hand on her shoulder as she clung onto the deck of playing cards in her hands. Her grip was stronger than usual, thanks to the apple and Extremis and the cards bent awkwardly. Loki wanted to comfort her as well, but there was a rather thick sheet of glass between himself and her. Loki's silver tongue failed him, as he was unsure how to weave words to bring her comfort.
"I lost control of my magic. I only remember bits and pieces after I woke up and most of it…well, uh…I'll need some therapy once I'm back on Earth," Jessica announced, meeting Loki's eyes. There was a hard glint in her eye— almost daring him to contradict her.
"Hit me," Loki said, glancing down at the cards on the table Jessica had pushed up against the glass so Loki could play this odd game with her and Steven.
Jessica slapped a card down on the table next to the other cards.
"Well?"
"I do not understand the significance of twenty-one. It's almost impossible to get. Steven, flip that one over," Loki ordered. He cursed when he saw what it was.
Jessica giggled. Steven looked as if he was trying hard not to chuckle at Loki's misfortune to loose seven straight games of Blackjack.
"Do you not know a better game?" Loki demanded, looking at Steven.
"Sorry. No. I never really played grown up card games. Just ones we made up as kids," Steven admitted, before glancing at his sketch book.
The three went silent, except for the noise of Jessica shuffling the stack of playing cards. It was the last evening Jessica and Steven were to be in Asgard. Tomorrow morning, they were to travel with Thor back to Midgard on the newly repaired Biforst.
Loki did not want either to leave, but refused to admit it out loud. He was sure they were both aware of his feelings. He settled back on the bench he was seated on in his white box and stared at the two people who had come to mean so much to him.
Hello, how are you? / Missed you so; it's nice to see ya / All we have at the end of the game / Is a lonely road out
-The Early November, "Hair"
Steve disliked the Biforst. It was not a smooth trip, but a rough one— a thousand times worse than how Steve had gotten to Asgard.
Upon landing in the desert, Steve stumbled forward a few steps till he crashed to his knees and tried his hardest to keep the contents of his stomach where they belonged.
"Okay. That method of travels sucks," Jess proclaimed from somewhere off to Steve's left.
"This method of travel is the best," Thor assured. "Are you well, Captain America?"
"Not sure," Steve admitted, feeling dizzy as he struggled to his feet. He only managed to get to his feet with Thor's help.
"If Jane Foster hits me with her truck, I'm going to go Kill Bill on her," Jess grumbled.
Steve finally opened his eyes. Jess was spread eagle in the sand, staring up at the sky about five feet away.
"Lady Jane did not mean to hit me with her truck," Thor insisted, turning his attention from Steve to Jess. "Nor do I see her in the near vicinity."
"No. I think she moved on, L'Oreal," Jess grumbled as Thor lifted her to her feet, sand flying everywhere. "You ought to go see her. Since you haven't the last two times you were here. I know, you were busy, but seriously, you shouldn't leave a girl hanging."
Thor frowned as Jess shook sand out of her dark hair. Sand rained down out of the locks like waterfalls. Both Thor and Steve watched till Jess turned around and said with mock excitement in her tone, "Oh, look. A black car. I guess SHIELD is here! Goody!"
A black car came to a stop about ten feet from where they were standing within some sort of Nordic design. Steve studied it, fingers twitching to sketch it. Hopefully he'd remember it in enough detail to have either Thor or Loki explain what all the designs meant.
"Ah, good to see you back, Captain Rogers."
Steve looked up from the ground to find Agent Coulson standing outside the car.
"Agent Coulson," Steve greeted, moving forward to shake Coulson's hand.
"And I see Miss Witton…got a tan," Coulson finished.
"Got a tan, changed up the hair color again and finally took up Taidō." Jess moved her arms in a series of movements Steve had seen her do a few times since Odin had brought her out of her magically induced coma. She smiled mischievously at Coulson. "I'm totally ready to take the world by storm."
Coulson stared at her, raising his eyebrows.
"After I get some serious therapy."
"Ah, yes!" Thor agreed, lighting up. "I've tried to convince Father Loki would benefit from this therapy, but he is not of agreement."
"Of course not. Crazy people like me think it's glorious. Now get me into some a/c. Stat!"
Jess closed the space between herself and the black car. Coulson opened the back door and Jess vanished into the car. Thor greeted Agent Clouson and asked if he knew the whereabouts of Lady Jane. Steve looked up at the sky, gazing around. Somewhere up there was Asgard.
Somewhere out there was Loki.
"I miss you already," Steve whispered into the sky, sure Loki would get the memo from the tall, dark man with golden eyes who stood guard over the Bifrost, seeing and hearing all.
It's really bursting at the seams / For absorbing everything / The spectrum's a to z / This is fact not fiction for the first time in years
-Death Cab for Cutie, "Lack of Color"
"They have arrived safely."
Loki bowed his head in answer to Odin's statement.
"Why did you bring the mortal here, Loki?"
"He wished to come."
"The tin man wanted to come."
"Ah, but I'm not as fond of the tin man as I am of Steven."
Odin shifted imperceptibly. "You are fond of the mortal."
"Steven."
"Steven. You are fond of Steven."
"Correct."
"You are not fond of many, Loki. Forgive me for finding it hard to believe you are fond of a mortal."
"I am fond of Jessica."
"You are fond of Jessica in a different manner and she's not a mortal."
Loki eyed Odin for a moment before asking, "Have I ever brought a mortal in the flesh here before?"
"No."
"Have I ever brought anyone with me?"
"No, son, you have not."
"Actions speak louder than words, Father."
Psychic changes are born in your heart / Entertain a nervous breakthrough that makes us the same / Bless your heart girl
-Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Parallel Universe"
Edited and reloaded 14 December 2014